The non-sleepers are still not sleeping

[NinaMarieP]

New thread, guys!

@FrozenMargarita17
It's hard though, I feel like I'm getting fatter but can't see a way through the day without sugar abs coffee 😬😬😬

@interuptus I've been doing slimming world but I definitely struggle at times like this. Dd has chicken pox and I really can't cope with healthy eating haha

We have really and truly hit the 8 month sleep regression. DD now wakes up around midnight and is a nightmare to get back to sleep. The past couple of nights I've given her a feed and put her down. Am I making a rod for my own back doing this?

Sounds like there's a lot of suffering going on to you all. I think at times like this you just gotta do what you do to survive...

Sorry to see you back on here @otherendofthesockportal (I mean that it's not nice for you, obvs always lovely to hear from you!) I'd say don't worry about rods etc, just do what you need to do now. I think the 8 month regression is less brutal than the 4 month one and will pass.

I'm with you @bartos on the consistently bad nights. DS has only ever pulled a 9 to 3 stint once. Never to be repeated.

He was restless last night. He's on the verge of crawling, I'm also really hoping it makes a difference! Although sorry to say but my DD crawled early and it made not a jot of difference to her sleep

DS fell asleep in his pram just there after a long walk. So left him in the garden but nrxt door are cutting trees down and it's bloody noisy. Sure enough, he woke now he's asleep on me and I need the loo desperately! Oh to be able to put him down in the cot and just leave him to it...

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs was being a mum always this hard? Are we weak compared to previous generations? Or are we more challenged? I keep thinking about this... My grandma had 8 children. 8!! I have one! And sometimes I want to jump off a bridge! OK, I really just want to sleep, I don't want to die. But it can be hell! The sweetest hell yes, but still! I've slept 4 hours maybe 2 times since DD was born... My brain is mush.
@FrozenMargarita17 and @interuptus I also eat loads from my tiredness. And drink a lot of decaf! Coffee only one a day, rarely 2.she is so energetic and I'm breastfeeding I dont want to do anything that might get get more alert :p although, honestly, seems to make no difference :( I promise to worry with my figure once I get to sleep again...

8 children OMG I would die!!!

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs thank you! I'm going to try putting DD to bed in just a vest tonight as maybe she has been too hot? Desperately clutching straws.

@Bartos I think motherhood has always been hard but previous generations had more support as women didn't work. But 8 children? I actually feel like DD will be an only child.

@theotherendofthesockportal true. And with 8 children what end up happening was the older ones were old enough to take care of the younger ones... But still, my grandma had a busy life. Didn't have to worry with her career. But had to worry with putting food on the table... Thanks God I don't have that concern. So maybe I'm just weak! Also, it's true about social support. I don't have much. Family and friends all far away... I have to turn for health professionals for advice and it's hard to get their attention :/ "sleep problems? She is a baby you know..."well thank you very much. Really helpful

OMG. I can't do this anymore. She wants to be held all night. I can't spend my nights in the nursing chair! She has been crying for 30 min now, no signs of getting tired.won't calm down when I pop in. Cries even more. HV said there's no point doing sleep training before holidays, but really spending another month like this is no option. I am barely functional over day. I am really afraid that I'll get sick and then she will suffer more from having a mum that's unwell. I'm desperate

Hi @Bartos did you manage to get some sleep?

I find (for my sanity) that if dd is fighting sleep I will give up for 10-20 mins and let her crawl and whatever. Then I will try again. Otherwise I spent that 10-20 mins getting frustrated and upset which makes her less likely to go. If that makes sense?

Just stepping away from the bedroom helps me too.

@FrozenMargarita17 she cried from 23h to 00h30 and fell asleep. After that she slept for a while. I can't remember honestly. But I remember hearing her crying, looking at the clock and being surprised with the time. What I vividly remember is that after 4ish I didn't sleep again. She would cry and just want to be held. I gave up and spend a while in the nursing chair with her. Thank you for the advice. DD doesn't crawl yet and she really wants to sleep. Just not in the cot, or co-sleep, only being held... I've tried before putting lights on and "having a break from sleep" and it was just worse... How was your night?

Oh @bartos that sounds awful. Have you got the chance to take it easy today? Can anyone give you a break?

Second what @frozen has said about taking a break. It seems to calm my DS down if i bring him downstairs and let him faff about on the playmat, usually after 20 minutes he's ready to go back to bed and if not sleep, at least not be crying and thrashing!

My DS also just wants to be held. Usually I try to hold out until after 2nd wake up but last night it was after the 1st wake up at 1030. It's so bad on my back!

DH took him at 530 so I did get two hours of sleep. DS now asleep on me and can hear DD whining in her room (she seems to prefer it if we come to her in the morning, not complaining though!) so going to have to risk putting him in his cot and getting her...

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs no chance of taking it easy. DD has an appointment at he hospital at her nap time :/ she is so ready to sleep already after so many terrible nights. And she won't. I'm sure. She doesn't sleep in the trolley unfortunately. So she won't have a morning nap, she will be overtired and you know how that goes. I wish co-sleeping worked! I really didn't want to do it but at this point sounds like a dream. I keep thinking what did I do wrong and what can I do so that a second baby doesn't turn out such a terrible sleeper. Feel so helpless. I don't know how can you manage 2 kids! My mind can't conceive the energy to deal with 2 without sleeping!

You haven't done anything wrong @Bartos just been unlucky. I really believe it's luck of the draw. My sister has twins brought up and treated the same, one sleeps and one doesn't,

I've spent many nights sleeping in our nursery chair with DS on me. Positioned so I was unable to squash him. It was the only way I could get any sleep. Thankfully it did end and he's much better at going in the cot now. Still wakes up loads though!

It's so hard @Bartos I keep having to remind myself that I won't have an 18 year old sleeping in my bed.

She's still got chickenpox so I can't count how many times I was up but I do know I didn't sleep til 3 and she was wriggling around like a worm in bed trying to itch.

Well I can tell you that from my experience (two non sleepers) you have done nothing wrong. 'Good' sleepers are the luck of the draw. It honestly has nothing to do with how strong your routine is, how good you are rocking them to sleep etc. Some babies are going to respond well to what you do, others just do what they do and won't sleep. I thought this time round I'd have learnt from the lessons of last time and I'd have it nailed. Ha! Apart from using the sleepyhead earlier and getting a next 2 me cot, very little has changed. I guess the only thing I could have done was not breastfeed, but even then there are no guarantees. And I wasn't comfortable putting DS on formula when I knew that I was able to feed him and just for the sake of getting him to sleep longer.

But I do have a 2 year old DD who now sleeps through most nights in her own bed and in her own room so there is hope! Plus the majority of parents I know have not had two sleeper thieves in a row. I'm just in the minority! But I know it could be so much worse.

I'm feeling a little brighter as had a playdate and good coffee! @bartos hope you are doing ok. I promise you it will get better for us.

@frozen chicken pox sounds hard work. I thought DS had it but was just a mild virus. Still, with a toddler at nursery it's only a matter of time, kinda hoping it happens while I'm on mat leave and not at work.. .

@Meepmoop, @FrozenMargarita17, @WhoAteAllthePercyPigs thank you all so much! I'm sure it will improve, I'm just struggling to see how will I survive until there :) day isn't going as bad as I thought, but there's still plenty of hours to mess it up :p she behaved very well at the hospital despite being clearly tired. Fell asleep when we were just arriving home, on the trolley (!) and I left her in the hall, she slept almost 40 min overall. Very grumpy afterwards, clearly very tired. After fighting sleep for a while, still less than 30 min, I think she fell asleep in the cot. I'm on the run now to eat my lunch! Crossing my fingers that she sleeps at least 1hour! Otherwise it I'll be a very difficult afternoon /night (no news there)
I was suppose to have a hen dinner party later on, not happening unfortunately. DH can't do night routine, she won't sleep with him. If I go they will end up both crying and screaming of desperation.
We were invited to see the game at a friend's house as well. I'm not going anywhere clearly but I told DH to go. He says he feels bad but I don't want to keep him. For what? Either way she won't have him... We would end up being both antisocial.
God, its hard to be a mum.
@FrozenMargarita17 chickenpox sucks! My DD last cold definitely made her more needy and back to the old habit of sleeping on me. I hope your baby chickenpox doesn't make sleep worse! Hope your DD improves soon and you get some sleep!

OMG :D sleep deprivation is the worst! I ran out of dishwasher tablets. So my brilliant mind decides to put detergent in the dishwasher recipient. I was upstairs putting DD to bed, come down after a while and there's water and foam in the kitchen floor coming out of the dishwasher! I can't even manage the house safely! How will I handle work next month?!

Oh my goodness @Bartos it's times like these you need to find the funny side. Oops!! 🙈

@FrozenMargarita17 yup, I laughed! Not sure DH will find it funny :p going nuts! I've warned him this would happen!
In a positive note, DD has been asleep for 1h10!! The longest nap recently! I can hear her waking up, it's not going to last much more, but! After cleaning the kitchen floor, I ate a warm lunch, with fruit! And a hot coffee! And there she is calling for me! Going my lovely daughter!

Isn't it amazing how wonderful you can feel after a tiny break. Even now, I'm lying next to my daughter who is sleeping and I have the freedom to chill and look on Mumsnet!

It's going to be a long weekend. Ds has oral thrush and a chest infection. He's exhausted and clingy, I took the morning off work but had to go in this afternoon. I had a couple of hours of broken sleep last night. He has antibiotics and anti fungal drops I just hope that they work quickly. He's been asleep on me for over an hour now, hoping that doesn't mean he'll be awake all night.

Bartos handling work exhausted hasn't been that bad yet. I'm finding having time to sit down and do something not baby related is really good for me. I think it's a case of not knowing how you'll manage something, but just doing it because there isn't really another option. Hope it goes ok.

@MummyCuddlesSolveEverything poor baby! Poor you! Sounds bad! Hope he improves soon!
Thanks for giving me hope! I do miss work, I'm just afraid of being too tired to enjoy. I will wok full-time and I am just realising that during the week I will barely see DD. It makes my heart ache. But I'm not a home person and I've always been career focused. I have no doubt DD comes first, I'm hoping to be making the right decision and that I don't regret taking so much professionally.

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs oh poor little mite. And poor you!!

bartos thanks. I'm full time too, I do miss ds so much but I'm enjoying being back. I really like my job and work with lovely people, which is so important -not sure i could manage if I didn't.