first night of cc.dont shout at me but i want support

[kittypants]

ds is 16 months.up untill 8 months slept great,then stopped!then we coslept till just over 1 year which was great but didnt last as we all seemed to wake each other.we also tried pu pd which was great for a bit but also didnt last.then i just conditioned myself to hourly waking,only falling to sleep which bottle no matter the time.but now hes drinking 4 pints of milk a day not eating because hes full on milk but waking all night for more milk as its not enough.i think hes also comforted by the sucking.
so tonight we did usual bedtime routine.quiet time,bath,bottle(but this time on bed not in cot),story and bed-but i took bottle out with me.i went in after 2,4,6,8 minutes then every 8 minutes after that as i think thats my limit that i can cope with.it took 1 hour in all but hes sleeping cuddling his sleepy cow.i want to hear positive stories to keep me going in early hours of morning!!!please dont anyone tell me off etc,i need support.

My dd always cries herself off to sleep. It's not screaming more few whimpers then chatter a few dadadadada's then quiet then whimper pattern. Apart from 2 days ago when I put her up for her lunch nap..she was hyper bouncing around when I lay her down she just rolled onto her tummy..even though she was in her sleeping bag. So I just lay her down & left, then I heard a bang about 10mins later & went in to find her standing up in the corner of her cot with no sleeping bag on!!! It has 2 poppers on each shoulder & she must have wriggled out as the zip was still fastened. Now when I put her down I am waiting for a repeat performance she though she was so clever!!! Anyway back to the sleep/cc issue. After the initial cc 3 day period she slept through for a week or so. Then when she started waking I put it down to teething so cuddled/gave calpol & put her back down. At 10 months I feel she never could be waking during the night for hunger so never feed her except the other morning when I refused to get up at 4.45am. I guess tbh we have got a bit soft as now when she cries during the night we assume it's for a reason & go to her straight away. If it's just a whimper or a cry out then we just leave her 5 mins to see what happens..usually she drifts off again. If she needs us she shouts!!!
One of my friends used to let her baby sleep in the car/pram when she was out & was getting fed up so I said just try him in the cot....he slept for 2 hrs solid..usually he only slept for 20/30 mins. So if you are scared to try don't be just give it a go. I have found that my dd is so adaptable if I just give her the chance. She has always slept in her cot for me unless we have been out but tbh I 99% of the time make sure I am at home. Then when mil had her she said I don't want the travel cot she can just sleep in the buggy in the hall!! Fat chance I thought..it's too light & she will never just fall asleep in her pram. After 10mins chatter she was fast asleep...for 1.5hrs! She never fails to suprise me...me of little faith! She didn't sleep so well yesterday so was fast asleep by 7pm mid bf so put her down..not a peep didin't even stir. Woke at 11.30pm no idea why..although her gums are pretty red where her front tooth is coming through so we gave her some medised but she was just wide awake. Bouncing on my knee shouting dadadada & blowing raspberries on my face. 10mins later fast asleep but everytime I moved to put her in her cot she opened her eyes & smiled!!! So after 30mins finally got her in the cot made it to the door then she cried...dh to the rescue ... 5mins later in cot asleep until 5.30am this morning.

my ds defo naps far far better now he naps in his cot. it is nothing short of miraculous! i never thought i would see the day when he slept anywhere but his buggy in the day but i gave it a go and it woeked. he does protest for a few mins which i hate but he is never distressed, just protesting in the only way he can. i still do buggy naps as i don't want to be stuck in every day esp in summer. today he did 1.75 hrs in cot this a.m. and 1 hr in buggy whilst we were out this p.m. fantastic .

Well, last night a sudden improvement . She slept from 8pm to 4.40 am . Little grizzle at 10.30 but she quickly settled herself before I went in. My joy was slightly tempered by the fact that she didn't go back to sleep after i fed her at 5ish (I let her cry for 15 mins and it didn't sound like she'd go back off so i got her up) but I guess we'll work on that next . Cruise, how are your mornings now?
Did you have to do cc for any length of time to get LO to nap in cot in the day? How long did you try after doing cc at night?

lilysma - i am so for you andyour clever little girl . i did do a bit of cc during the day for naps but it ws never long and as ds was going to bed at nightin his cot there seemed no reasn to me that he wouldn't be able to sleep in there in the day. i used toget teh buggyoutand wheel him up and downthe hallway (or go out) and thisdrove me nuts tbh. he needs to nap so where better! he still grizzles,cries,protests before each nap but for around 5mins tops usually and then sleeps for 1 - 1hr 45mins! Got to be better for him. i did wait until i was CERTAIN that he got the hang of night sleeping though.hth

Thanks Cruise and amysmum. I'll try her in the cot when/if (?!) the night-time sleep settles down a bit. She does seem to be sleeping for longer in the pram, but this may just be cos she's knackered from waking up before 5 and not being allowed to go back to sleep until 10! This is what Ferber suggests (i.e. don't move their nap time forward when they wake up early) but not sure how well it works as she just gets progressively grouchy in the morning and it doesn't seem to add up to a later waking the next day...

Anyway, fingers crossed for tonight. I did give her calpol last night (forgot to mention that bit) so we'll see if none tonight makes a difference...

good luck for you and yours...

lilysma - not sure that i could keep ds awake for longer than he is able without him losing the plot completely! this morning he woke at 5:50am which is customary for him these days but he ws absolutely shattered and fell asleep in my arms at 7:50a,. I usually keep him going until a 8:30am if poss but he just could not stay awake. He only napped for 30mins and that threw the entire day off kilter. he was asleep again 2hrs later on way to a friends and then again at 3 on the way home! he was still shattered by 7pm and crashed out on his bottle. this does bode well for me though as i am convinced he is a sleepy little boy who needs his kip! hope tonight is good for you lilysma. you deserve a break...

Last night bad again . She was awake every 2-3 hours, although only one 15 min stretch and the others were shorter (it all gets a bit bleary when you're half asleep, doesn't it - i think I actually fell asleep while she was crying at one point and when i woke up she had stopped). Up at 5.30, which was better than the night before!

Anyway, not sure why the waking isn't stopping or whether to carry on . Tonight she cried for 15 mins when i put her to bed (v unusual now), so I gave her some calpol in case it's her teeth and she went down again with a little bit of wingeing. Let's see what the rest of the night brings...

fingers xed for a bit longer in the morning for both of us

Cruisemum - there is a bit in the Ferber book on solving sleep problems about a little girl who woke v early in the mornings, but went down for a nap about an hour later. Ferber concluded that the nap was simply her last bit of night sleep, which had become 'detached', and his treatment plan was to bring the nap forward bit by tiny bit until it 'joined up' with the night sleep. I don't know if this would work for you and do away with 5.50am wakings????

Sorry for butting in.

dueat44 - thank you so much. i keep hearing different theories on early waking. tbh i think it is just him and he will, get to sleep later as he gets older .lilysma- i sincerely hope that your lo sleeps soundly tonight. i feel for you, and her, i really, really do. sweet dreams all round.
nite nite

It worked for us when our DD was about 18 mths. It took 4 days and she sleeps like a baby now - she's now 5½ years old. It is worth it.

Hello all! I've been watching this thread on and off for a few days now and just thought I'd pop in my tuppenceworth! Hope noone minds?
Lilysma - you POOR soul! How are you coping with all this. Right at the beginning of the thread I mentionned that it only took DD 3 days CC to start sleeping through - don't know if I'd have managed if it had gone on this long - so really well done. Sounds like you are cracking it then it all falls apart again? We had that problem a few times and wondered what the hell was going on.
Can I suggest the following:
Definately start putting her down during the day for naps in her cot - I didn't prior to CC, she NEVER slept during the day (not even in the car/ buggy), and when I started CC I decided to give her the continuity of all sleep in her cot. I really stuck to it and specific nap times for a good month or so ( until I got Cabin Fever!) just to get her into a proper routine. It really surprised me how she would sleep for hours at a time in her cot but not at all if I never made the effort to put her down.
On the crying before naps thing - my LO still does, more protesting than a proper cry, but I think its worth it to let her get a proper sleep. Only very recently has she began to go down at night without a whimper and she's now 13 months - we did CC at around 5.5-6 months. Up until a month ago it could take about half an hour of proper screaming before she gave in. On the up side though - she has always (touch wood) slept right through till about 7 earliest after CC.
Also - can't remember what age your LO is, but does she still def. need fed at night. I found that DD had more got into a habit of waking up for a feed that she didn't need (feeding for a few minutes, then dosing off). Might be worth trying to cut the feeds down and endure some serious crying, to see if it really is a need and not just a want? (Does that sound heartless - sorry if it does but it did work for me!)
Anyways, hope that might be of some help. Feel free to tell me to shove my advice if it's crap! Good luck

please help!!!

not sure whether to start CC or not. DS is six months old. Goes to bed quite happily at 7pm after bath/massage etc, happy to go to bed and sleeps straight away (has a cuddle on couch til v drowsy) but wakes up when going into the cot, knows he is going into the cot and is fine.

Then at about 1am/2am the fun starts!!! Wakes up oontinually until I feed him - if I just give him water he gets really angry, have tried stalling him with dummy etc, only works for an hour then he is awake again. Even after milk feed he wakes up 2 or 3 hours later. Sometimes I am up 7 times a night! He is having lots of food during the day and 2 or 3 solid feeds. HELP! what am I doing wrong??

Have tried waking him up to feed him at 9pm, 10pm etc, won't look at it and just wants to sleep.

Should I be leaving him to cry at 1am/2am until he gets out of the habit of it? Or do you think he's genuinely hungry and I should feed him? but why does he wake up again after the feed?? Please help! am at the end of my tether!

Has anyone else tried controlled crying when it is a middle of the night thing and not a going to bed thing??

thanks,
xx

Hi DesertRose,
We used CC throughout all the wakings. My LO was in the habit of waking for a 12pm bf after going down at 7pm, and CC worked for us. The first night was torture, in fact instead of leaving her to cry my hubby held her and nursed her for 2 solid hrs of screaming until she finally dosed off, whilst i sobbed next door. It was definately a turning point, the nxt 2 nights the crying reduced, and then on the forth night she slept through.
There's some conflict about what age you chould start CC but I did it between 5 1/2 to 6 months so I reckon give it a bash especially if, like I was, you are trying to break a habit. Good Luck!

lilysma, hope you had a decent weekend?
Are you still in the trenches? Keeping all fingers crossed for you

DesertRose, yes we used cc at 7 months to drop the 2 & 5 am feeding sessions.
One additional thing we did was to reduce the feed amounts bit by bit so not
cold turkey straight away but gradually.
Like you the dream feed at 10/11pm did not work for us.

It is hard work but it paid dividends for all of us!

Btw, there is some fun and games about CC going on other threads,
nothing too heavy but if any of it has given you food for thought,
I would recommend dealing with the doubts first.

You will need to be absolutely convinced that you are on the right track otherwise cc during the night could be very tough!

Sorry for the long silence - I didn't have internet access for a few days. Well, the story here is very strange. After the terrible night on Thurs, dd suddenly slept for 10 hours on Friday, 8 on saturday (due to a late bedtime for selfish parental reasons), 11 on Sunday, and 10 last night with one 5 min cry at 11.30pm . Not sure what happened or whether it will continue, but it has been great . One of the reasons for my puzzlement is that every night she has gone down more or less asleep because she has bf to sleep and I haven't been able to wake her up properly before leaving. She hasn't slept very well in the day most days so has been knackered at night. All very odd, so am not sure it will last, but please keep everything crossed for me!

Desert rose, after quite a lot of work, my dd (6.5 months now) always went down at bedtime with little bother, although I couldn't actually leave the room until she was awake, but then woke up a lot in the night. I gradually cut down the feeds (replacing with cuddles as we were co-sleeping) and tried gradual withdrawal, but couldn't get past holding her hand at bedtime and full on cuddles in the middle of the night. As you will see from the posts below we did cc -which was fairly agonising - and experimented with lots of different approaches to the night feed, which may be why it was so difficult as perhaps she got confused. Anyway, she seems to be managing fine without it now, despite still not eating all that much solids. But I'm scared of speaking too soon...

ps thanks again for all your support and kind enquiries, fellow parents. couldn't have done it without you and still can't (it aint over till its over )

lilysma - I am soooo sooo for you and your clever little dd ! You must be so relieved that your efforts are yielding positive results. Hats off to you. Such a relief to hear that you are all unscathed

Lilysma that is great news! Well done!

Well, I have to confess.....I took DS into the bed for the last 3 nights as neither of us were feeling v well. And, would you believe that for these 3 nights he didn't feed, he still woke up quite a lot but it was so easy just to snuggle him back to sleep and he was quite happy.

BUT.... thought I better put him back in his cot tonight, for the first time ever he didn't want to go in it, after giving him benefit of doubt a few times, i had to resort to CC and after ten mins he was fast asleep - now I have no idea what is going to happen tonight....will he wake up to be fed or sleep right through or generally act the goat all night??!! who knows??!! fingers crossed.................

Lilysma, I won't say a thing for fear of jinxing it
Keep us posted and don't worry too much about the text books!

Rose, are you saying you were co-sleeping for the past 3 nights?!
And you have got the temerity to show your face on this thread!
I am joking. Co-sleeping is laarvely!

What's your plan for tonight then?
Do you want to do cc for the whole night
or will you still feed him at some point during the night?
Definitely fingers crossed!

Hi, haven't been able to read the whole thread yet, am ploughing through it! Have also checked out DaddyJ's link, will try and get through that later.

The story is...

ds2 is 19mo. He was a bit of a pain at first going to sleep, couldn't do CC because he would cry until he choked/made himslef sick. Eventually the gradual retreating worked and I was able to put him in his cot at 7pm, and he would be asleep straight away, and then if he did wake during the night, I only had to go into the room, and he'd lay back down. We put the boys in bunk beds in March because I was desperate to have him out of our room. To begin with he was brilliant, we obviously had to stay up there the 1st few days to stop him getting out, but after a couple he was settling himself again. Recently though he's started screaming in the evenings, really working himself up, getting himself into a right old state. We've tried rapid return, gradual withdrawal, laying in bed with him, then gradually leaving, and nothing has worked, or if it has, he's woken soon after, and we've been unable to get him vack to sleep. Tonight has been the final straw, and I've broken and am now listening to him scream.

I've been up at 3mins, 5, 7, 9, now onto 11. Do I stop at 11mins? Or do I continue to increase the time that I go up?

To be fair to him, he has started crying a little less now, is banging the door instead!

I just really need support to get thrugh this. DP can't handle it, which is a real problem as I'm not here every night.

Will carry on reading through the thread.

While I've been posting that, it's gone quiet. It's 2mins til I go back up, don't know what to do, do I go up & check, and risk waking him if he is awake?

I doubt anyone will see tis befoire its time, but would be really appreciated, so that I know for next trime. Thanks.

Wait for at least 10 mins if all is quiet, he might be just about to drop off. What's happening now?

He's asleep! I did what you suggested rislip. I left him for about 10mins after all went quiet, and found him snoring away in the middle of his bed. I've talked DP through it, just got to hope that he can do it the next 3 nights when I'm working. It's actually taken 28mins start to quiet. So I'm pretty impressed with that.

TBH I think me going back to work is the problem. He's always been a mummys boy, but has become much clingier recently. He was fine when I first started working, but then changed. It makes me feel guilty for working, but unfortunately there's nothing can be done.

Oh I'm so glad all is quiet, don't feel guilty, you're a great mummy no doubt.

greedy - you did really well . and your clever little boy did too . Now you have to stick with it for the next few nights otherwise he will be confused and bewildered. Be strong. Hope it gets better tomorrow night. Keep us posted.