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Original poster

first night of cc.dont shout at me but i want support

178 replies

kittypants · 02/05/2007 20:25

ds is 16 months.up untill 8 months slept great,then stopped!then we coslept till just over 1 year which was great but didnt last as we all seemed to wake each other.we also tried pu pd which was great for a bit but also didnt last.then i just conditioned myself to hourly waking,only falling to sleep which bottle no matter the time.but now hes drinking 4 pints of milk a day not eating because hes full on milk but waking all night for more milk as its not enough.i think hes also comforted by the sucking.
so tonight we did usual bedtime routine.quiet time,bath,bottle(but this time on bed not in cot),story and bed-but i took bottle out with me.i went in after 2,4,6,8 minutes then every 8 minutes after that as i think thats my limit that i can cope with.it took 1 hour in all but hes sleeping cuddling his sleepy cow.i want to hear positive stories to keep me going in early hours of morning!!!please dont anyone tell me off etc,i need support.

OP posts:
lilysma · 22/05/2007 20:28

Thanks all for your support. I don't think I could do this without it. Have just put her down, which felt even harder to do tonight. She looked up at me all hopeful that I was going to soothe her to sleep . Now she's shouting and grizzling. God this is hard. I hope it's worth it for both of us!

lilysma · 22/05/2007 20:37

She's gone quiet after just 15 mins! I daren't hope this will last but have everything crossed....

cruisemum1 · 22/05/2007 20:53

lilysma - expect more wakes up and you may be pleasantly surprised! keep at it - you are doing great. your dd will never ever remember the crying bit anyway and will love you evermore

dollydumps · 22/05/2007 20:59

lilysma, just wanted to say that CC worked for me after 6 months of horrendous broken nights and habitual waking. It's horrible, u think they'll hate u forever, and that u r the worst mother in the world. But then your bubba starts to sleep through the night (mine slept through after 3 nights of CC) and u realise it's all been worth it. They give u a big -melt your heart- grin the next morning and u realise that in fact u have not scarred them for life, and actually you are doing them a favour. You feel better for having had a sleep and they feel MUCH better and can cope during the day. My bubba's 13 months now and we've never looked back. She sleeps 7-7 every night and 2.5 hrs during the day. Don't be discouraged, she'll still love u tommorrow AND IT DOES WORK!!!

Malaleche · 22/05/2007 21:14

Hi, I've been on and off the CC threads over the last few months, mostly giving my wisdom as CC worked a dream for DD1, now 3.8 yo, who was sleeping through from 3 mo.

Cut to DD2 8 mo.....
Last few nights she's been waking at about 5 or 6 am apart from the usual 2 or 3am wakening (we dont need to get up till 8.30)and refusing to go back to sleep. I usually give up trying and pull her out the cot in to our bed where she kicks, shoves and scratches at me till the alarm goes off, doesnt even want tit half the time.
Last few nights it has also been difficult getting her to sleep, she seems a bit 'wired', shrieks like a banshee everytime i leave the bedroom, i honestly thought the mirrors would crack tonight. She's not teething or ill. Need some support, please....

Malaleche · 22/05/2007 21:15

do black-out curtains really make a difference?

dollydumps · 22/05/2007 21:24

Black out blinds are fab (if they fit). I can't get any to fit so have resorted to sticking black binliners to the inside of bub's room to make it dark. It's like the twilight zone during the day though!

cruisemum1 · 22/05/2007 21:50

malaleche - hi again! my ds keeps waking at between 5/6am . feeling as shattered as i was when he woke every 2 hours! i put up some black out curtains tonight (actually i kind of draped them over his existing curtains - looks really classy ). I'll let you know tomorrow how it worked out! btw - they worked a dream for dd when she was a baby.

lilysma · 23/05/2007 09:42

Thanks for the encouragement all. Last night was much better. She settled at bedtime within 15 mins and did the same again when she woke twice in the night - I only had to go and 'check' on her once per waking . Of course I was awake half the night without my snuggly babe and bf to help me go to sleep . It seems my sleep habits are much more ingrained than hers. I realise tonight may be worse, but it's nice to see some improvement so early. She's a bit grumpy today but I'm hoping this is a coincidence as she was fine yesterday after her marathon crying. Will keep you all posted...

REIDmylips · 23/05/2007 09:49

just thouht i'd share my experience, my ds 9 mo wakes between 5-6am everyday and has done since he was a few months old. We started controlled crying when he was 5 and a half months old(i know that seems quite early, but it kind of happened by accident)

Any way he settles himself most nights, at ost it takes 5 mins. Abit of crying with one ssssh from mummy. he has however just started waking at half 10/11pm for no reason whtsoever, when he has always slept through

well, i wish you all luck, and am keeping my fingers crossed that the previous 3 nights of ds being wide awake at 10.30pm will not last any longer!

cruisemum1 · 23/05/2007 09:56

lilysma - well done! and to your clever little girl!

Malaleche · 23/05/2007 11:45

Hi again cruise! Still here on the CC threads aren't we? (hey, maybe IT DOESNT WORK!)
Well, last night i closed the shutters completely in our bedroom instead of leaving one ajar and what do you know? - DD2 didnt wake at 2/3am but woke at 5, grumbled a lot, i shushed and patted and she went back to sleep eventually. When she woke again at 7am i thought that was ok so i hauled her in beside me and gave her the 1st bfeed of the day then we slept till 8.30 when she woke all smiles......pity the neighbours woke me with their shagging at 6am...and 8am...

cruisemum1 · 23/05/2007 12:20

your neighbours obviously dont have lo's!

DaddyJ · 23/05/2007 12:21

But they're obviously getting there

DaddyJ · 23/05/2007 12:24

They are probably inspired by Malaleche's kids. She makes it look easy!

Glad to hear you are both doing good.

Cruise, you will be missed in the sleep section!

cruisemum1 · 23/05/2007 13:55

daddyj - i will still be in teh sleep section - looking for advice on early risers

Malaleche · 23/05/2007 21:55

lol (first time ive typed that!) at daddyj and cruise!
I'm hoping DD2 doesnt turn into an early riser...she's a right fidgety, wired ittle baby, oh god please dont let her be hyperactive....

lilysma · 24/05/2007 20:13

Well, fourth night of cc is underway and so far so good. She has gone down awake in her cot without a murmur! . Last night was pretty good - 5 mins of crying when she went down (at about 8), woke again at 12.30 (longest stretch of sleep for a long time!), bf and put her down semi-awake ( - I just couldn't wake her up again so obviously had let her feed too long) , awake again at 4.30 but settled within 15 mins and with one visit. Maybe tonight is the 'test' night??
A couple of questions for you cc veterans!

  1. When the they wake in the night you are supposed to wait a minimum number of minutes before going to them, right? DH thinks you go straight away and then go back after x mins, but I'm guessing they then depend on the visit to go back to sleep.
  2. Did you keep stretching the time before the first visit over successive nights like Ferber says? or keep it the same? It feels so mean to wait 15 mins before going to see that they're okay!
  3. At the moment I'm retaining one night feed as she's not eating a great deal of solids, her weight gain hasn't been great and she's only just 6 months. Am not sure when and how to do this, tho. Do you think i should 'dream feed' before I go to bed? Obviously this would be easiest for me and would avoid her keeping any associations of settling when feeding, but on the downside I'm worried she might wake earlier if I don't feed her in the middle of the night. Also not sure how much I should mess around with what i do during this 'training' period. Anyone got any experience of this?

Sorry for the long post. I just don't want to mess this up and have to do it again any time soon!

SoMuchToBits · 24/05/2007 22:32

Glad things are going so well for you lilysma!

Can't answer all your questions, as when we did this with ds we put him to bed at about 6.30-7, then fed agian at about 10.30-11, then he settled for the night.

So we never had to do a "night feed" as such, but did do a late evening feed, which seemed to work. If he did wake later in the night, I would always go in staraight away, as it would probably mean something else was wrong (he didn't usually wake up again otherwise, once we had started the cc)

Don't know if this is much help really, but it's what we did.

DaddyJ · 25/05/2007 10:02

lilysma, having agonised over cc for so long I am really really pleased that it has
worked out for you two Love a success story!

Re your questions:

  1. I think it helps to not jump in there at the first squeak. More often than not
    they resettle themselves but if you get in there before they have a chance to do that
    you will never find out. Sorry to disagree with your DH

  2. I don't know about this stretching thing, in theory it makes sense but I wonder
    whether babies internal clock is that accurate.

  3. Yes, we did the same as you and only used sleeptraining to get her to drop
    the 1/2 night feeds when she was 7 months. By then she was eating lots during the
    day but, surprise surprise, not a great deal for breakfast. Once the night feeds
    were gone she started tucking into her breakfast, too.
    The dream feed idea, again seemed great on paper but we just weren't 'hard' enough to wake
    up a sleeping baby..instead dw would give her a feed sometime between 1 and 3am.
    It worked for dw, she could cope fine with that otherwise we probably would have
    given the dream feed method a try.

A final comment about my answers above: There are no hard and fast rules!
If you strongly sense your dd needs you and she needs you NOW then
go, go, go - sod the rules!

cruisemum1 · 25/05/2007 10:03

lilysma - when ds was waking in the night after cc, i left it a few mins unti it was defo crying rather than grizzling, then went in and did 1min, 2 min,2 min etc. Didnt usually take long but a couple of times was grizzling/fussing/crying for in excess of an hour which was hard . he never got really worked up but was persistent. he doesn't do it now though

cruisemum1 · 25/05/2007 10:05

mornin daddyj

lilysma · 25/05/2007 13:02

Thanks for your ideas somuch, daddyj and cruise. Last night she settled WITHOUT TEARS at bedtime and then without a visit within 5 mins at 10pm, then not a peep until 2.30 am . This is an amazing improvement. I fed her then, but failed to put her down awake cos I couldn't wake her up! Then she woke up at 5.20 (not so good) and I gave her until 6 to settle but she didn't so 40 mins of on and off crying (mostly a bit half hearted tho) and I fed her at 6. Of course then she wanted to go back to sleep but I woke her up (evil Mummy) on olde Ferber's advice, so we'll see what happens tonight. Sounds like I may be developing your problem though, Cruise. How do you decide when LO is ready to wake for the day and when to leave to cry? Dd obviously actually wanted more sleep, but didn'n want to do it on her own anymore. Was this a 'test' or did I do the right thing to give in at 6, thinking she was really just awake for the day? Trial and error, I guess...

Am tempted to try the dream feed though as I'd prefer a longer stretch slightly later (hark at the woman - now she wants the moon !)

Will keep y'all posted.

Thanks so much for all the advice and support. I really wouldn't have had the guts to try this without it!

SoMuchToBits · 25/05/2007 18:30

Pleased to hear it's still going well! Hope the next few days get even better. I won't be posting for a while after today, as we are away for half term week, but will chck the thread to see how you have got on when I'm back.

DaddyJ · 25/05/2007 18:30

No crying?! I believe you have arrived

Now let's hope for a nice start of the day tomorrow just after 6am, say 6:15...

Have a good night, lilysma, cruise!