The great non-sleepers - the sequel

[Jellybean2017]

New thread!

hashtagtired I remember ds1 used to do the heel slam. DS2 is swaddled so we don't get that, instead he continually rubs his head from side to side, writhes, grunts, yelps, farts. And yet never seems to have to same issues during the day.

Always peaks at 5am when he ends up in my arms dozing. Wonder what it is about a cuddle that makes it all subside??

Up for the day now. Mum and baby yoga this morning attempt at gaining some sanity and killing time til the next crappy night

Have a good day everyone

user really good news on getting the all clear. Must be such a huge relief!

user1489931797 that is great news! What a great mental fresh start.

I was up for a full two hours again with DS1 plus a feed for DS2 in the middle. But of advice for those if you with boys - when you put their pull ups back on after a wee in the night, make sure their willy is actually inside them. A full change and mop up later DS1 finally got comfortable enough to go back to sleep.

DS2 was a lot better last night (or maybe I slept through the flapping and grunting more) three feeds with decent stretches between, other than when he was woken by DS1.

Better get up now so DH can get out on his bike in a minute

Thanks guys x

@user1489931797 that's great news!

After a bad start to the night it turned out okay I got 3 and a half, feed, 2 hours, feed, 3 hours.

I have found that since being in his own room, my transfers have a much higher success rate.

@user1489931797 that's great news 😊 must be a huge relief

@sakura it took a good 3-4 weeks to see any improvement after having DS tongue tie divided. It's not always instant. Breastfeeding did eventually improve for us and now it's comfortable. So glad I persevered with it.

Had a good giggle reading through all the posts from last night. We had an OK one. He did 2-3 hour stints and only took 15 minutes or so to resettle each time. I am getting such a bad back and shoulder from feeding/Co sleeping. And I'm sure he'd sleep longer if I wasn't disturbing him by moving. Apparently he didn't get the memo about going in his own bed 😒

He's been hitting Sophie the giraffe against the wall this morning. Poor Sophie (again!)

We were meant to be visiting a friend today but DH ended up taking car to work..

that's great news @user1489931797 hope you can finally start to enjoy things a bit more.

@Jellybean2017 poor Sophie puts up with a lot doesn't she??

A couple of crappy nights in a row here. DS has taken to have his own little party around 4-5 am, he thinks it's playtime.
I generally try and let my DH sleep because he's got work, but I've been struggling recently seeing him snoozing away while I wrestle the baby Tbf to him he does get up and help if I ask, the main problem is DS wants me most of the time so I'm stuck with it.

She certainly does @yolky!

Just received a letter from the paediatrician we saw last month 🙄

Wow Jellybean17 what's the back story on that? How come paediatrician is advising controlled crying?

@Sakura03 The stretches for post-tongue tie are really important, because sometimes even when their frenulum is snipped, baby's jaw muscles are still clenched tight and they need help relaxing them. This is a good video for help:

Basically you massage the inner cheeks, under the tongue, and the inside of the lips. Try to do it before every feed for a week, or at least 5-6 times a day. We didn't get told about them after DS's tongue tie procedure and it took us weeks and weeks to see any improvement...

We also went to see the osteopath and I felt it was helpful. It wasn't a magical cure or anything, but I felt the massage/manipulation she did helped my DS relax a bit, as I think he had a mild hipertonus. It took about 3 sessions but he was rather less rigid after that. And I felt reassured by her approach and advice.

@Jellybean2017 I can't believe that doc. I wouldn't be surprised if they had a deal with the sleep trainer they seem to be ready to recommend for controlled crying. I don't think it's ethical to try to convince you that a specific parenting approach is a medical necessity. Overstepping the line for sure!

@user that's such a big relief. You must feel like a weight has been lifted! Horrible thing to have hanging over you.

@jellybean I remember you talking about the cc 'recommendation'. Perhaps this is a bit strong, but I'd actually seriously consider reporting that paediatrician. Controlled crying is very contraversial, everything I've read says to do it after a certain age and even then it's linked with stress hormones. I don't want to get into a big debate (enough of those going round on this forum!) but I'm shocked that a medical professional is pushing it. I'm afraid I can't remember how old your DS is? But I do think that at such a young age, if they're not sleeping there's a very good reason and it's not because they're testing your boundaries! I read a post on here where a woman accused her DC of deliberately pooing at night. She backtracked and claimed it was a joke but I'm not so sure.

Sorry - obvs rant not aimed at you! I'm frustrated on your behalf and that you're not receiving better advice/support.

PJ day today. Felt ropey last night and feeling dizzy today. Cancelled my plans and am resting. Feeling low with it.

There were concerns he had silent reflux so the paediatrician appointment was to investigate that. At start of appointment paediatrician said DS did not have reflux and he won't settle to sleep because we have "spoiled" him by holding him too much(!) therefore cc was recommended. Appointment was at four months, he's now five months. @Whoateallthepercypigs yes I think I will consider making a complaint, as it shouldn't really be a medical recommendation should it. DH can be quite swayed by doctors opinions so had to talk him down from trying it 🙈 but then it's me that has to do the night shift!

Just put bolognese in the slow cooker for tonight. Had to prepare it in two stages as DS did a mega poo 💩 halfway through. He looked way too pleased with himself!

Stuck under the baby now so I'm going to watch some TV!

Hope you feel better @Whoateallthepercypigs

@Jellybean2017 Did he actually say you spoiled him by holding him too much? A four month old? Outrageous! That definitely deserves a complaint. Did he time travel from 19th century? What's a parent to do when professionals give such appalling advice, who can you trust? That's just awful.

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs Hope you feel better soon. A day of snuggling in bed with your LO sounds just right :)

Jellybean2017 hearing that appalling, opinionated 'advice' from your paediatrician makes me feel so sad. I thought perhaps you'd asked for advice on cc. I'd definitely look to complain because that isn't really sound medical opinion is it.

I had the HV tell me yesterday not to swaddle LO. I was shocked. Apparently 'loose covers' are the recommendation due to possibility of overheating. Yeah right because that really works to keep a restless baby warm and cosy enough to sleep! I'm so bloody sick of hearing professionals advice. I wished we could just be supported and nurtured and given a little bit of wisdom instead of all the scaremongering

@ven83 yep he said that! I was so upset. Didn't help when MIL agreed with the doctor 🙈 it is frustrating. I find you get different advice from each HV so that's annoying too e.g. one said start weaning and another said definitely wait until six months. It's hard to know what's best so I guess you just do what you think is best. And then you're better prepared for the second one... Although they're probably completely different 😂

Jellybean2017 I can absolutely guarantee you're not at fault. Ten years into parenting and on baby no. three has helped me come to terms with the fact that they're all different. And, in fact, usually we adopt 'bad' parenting habits to meet our babies needs rather than it being the other way around, that our 'bad' habits created the issues we're facing.

Honestly, babies shift and change of their own accord. They're little Human beings with differing needs and the best we can do is try to keep playing the ball as they constantly shift the goal posts. It's mostly about surviving the first year or so as best we can. As they get older it's easier to develop strategies to deal with unwanted behaviour. Although, imo there's very little we can do to influence sleep / eating other than the basic common sense stuff.

I'd like to punch that paediatrician in the face. Then subject him to three weeks of listening the constant crying of a baby whilst he's trying to sleep.

Thanks so much for the supportive words @realistmum 😊

I too wanted to punch him in the face by the end of the consultation! I certainly won't be updating him as per the last sentence of his letter 😒

I can't believe a doctor would prescribe controlled crying at any age!

My HV supports pretty much anything I say I'm going to do.

I think there are some non negotiables like using a car seat and not leaving them in the bath but swaddling, cosleeping, dummies, etc have to be at the parents discretion otherwise you'd have miserable parents and miserable babies if we all stuck to the best practices.

I've been advised to not swaddle (by midwives) to not swaddle when feeding (by breastfeeding support workers - when swaddling was the only way I could get a latch without screaming as he clawed at my bleeding nipples) the same woman told me my three week old needed a vest, sleepsuit, hat, cardigan and blanket for every nap in August when it was 24 degrees indoors...

It take confidence to look at the "rules" and disregard them, but you have to do what works for you!

Hi, I just caught up on posts. I'm also appalled that a pediatrician is recommending a parenting choice, it's not his/her role!

One thing I've learned from day 1 of patenting is to listen to others opinions but be ready to totally ignore them and do what I feel is best. For example, when I was only 3 hrs into labour the midwife didn't want me to come into hospital but instead wait a few more hours. I gave birth 2.5 hours later, luckily in hospital because I insisted on coming in.

I've also been told to just let Dd cry, to feed her cereal (at ~7 weeks old), and had Dh's aunt question why I was feeding her at all overnight wake ups (again, at ~7 weeks old).

Just remembered, I was also told that from day 1 I should have her sleep on her stomach in her own room.

@Jellybean It's simply outrageous. I can't believe the doctor actually expects you to update him?! WTH?!

@user Glad you got the all clear!

We had an ok night despite me feeling absolutely rubbish. Thank God I am at my mum's still and she took DD for a walk today so I could rest a little.
DD is pooing loads again. Pooed on the bottom sheet this morning...for a change 💩🙈
She's just a poo master.

Jellybean2017 that is just bizarre at the very least for a medical professional to recommend something like that. I did do a little bit of cc with DS1 - never let him cry it out though and never left him if he was really upset rather than just moaning. DS2 quite often fights sleep for naps and cries a bit before dropping off but I am always there comforting and he's not really distressed so I am happy with that, plus it's the only way I get him down!

Today some idiot total fucking wankstain very nearly ran DS2 in his pram and me over. Had it not been for me dragging the pram out of the way and shouting we'd have been hit. I am not going to moan about any wake ups tonight, I am.just going to enjoy the cuddles.

This thread moves fast!

@user1489931797
That’s great news; you must be so relieved.

@actino
Exactly the same thing happened to me. We ignored the midwife and went in anyway. We weren’t so lucky! Junction 11 of the m25 almost, but DD2 was born in the parking lot of the hospital. Delivered thankfully by some paramedics on a coffee break in the ambulance bay.

@xxrealistic
“I wished we could just be supported and nurtured and given a little bit of wisdom instead of all the scaremongering”
I could not agree more...I was so terrified with my first, cot death/damaging her in some way by doing something wrong. All I needed was a little wisdom....

@cats
Omg! Glad you’re ok! That’s really scary