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The great non-sleepers - the sequel

983 replies

Jellybean2017 · 31/12/2017 09:07

New thread!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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NinaMarieP · 08/01/2018 09:40

Just to add - I know that saying "it will get better" is pretty useless of me. Because weeks ago if you'd said that to me I'd have said "BUT THAT DOESNT HELP ME GET THROUGH NOW." And it doesn't. But it most likely will get better.

We have some truly atrocious nights here sometimes but it's a sleep regression I think and nothing to do with waking up hungry which is actually frustrating - waking for a reason I can deal with. Waking for nothing gives me the rage!

I posted in the last thread about how hard I was finding it all (at 4.5m) and it was seriously affecting my mental health but we (touch wood) seem to have turned a corner again. (It's a very zig-zaggy road mind you, we may turn back again soon!)

Handsoffmysweets · 08/01/2018 09:43

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Ven83 · 08/01/2018 09:46

@NonStopDisco Also what helped me immensely in coping and keeping sane was attending BF groups. I would definitely recommend checking for breastfeeding cafes in your area. The support and reassurance I got from spending time with other Mums and babies who were just like us were invaluable. I'm convinced breastfeeding and child rearing in general are meant to be a rather social activities, but sadly our culture has done a great job in isolating us from each other.

Handsoffmysweets · 08/01/2018 09:53

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NonStopDisco · 08/01/2018 10:22

My DH keeps encouraging me to go to baby groups and the breastfeeding group, but I feel so tired I can’t imagine getting out!
I’m not going to swap to formula feeding, thank you for your suggestion handsoff, but I love breastfeeding and the closeness I get with my DD. It’s one of the only things I feel I’m doing right (as in I’m breastfeeding correctly, not that breastfeeding is objectively the right thing to do).
I don’t mind being told it will pass- it’s nice to know people have been through it, it’s something I can get through, and I’m not doing it wrong!
Incidentally, I’ve put a blanket under DD and she’s actually slept soundly for a couple of hours in her crib!

sleepycat13 · 08/01/2018 10:38

I second breastfeeding groups. I feel so utterly miserable today after a week of horrific nights and am barely awake but dragging myself out to group this morning has helped immensely.

Meepmoop · 08/01/2018 10:54

So I've turned up to my class and the woman emailed me the wrong time! I'm now trying to amuse DS for an hour as its not enough time for me to go home. He's going to be tried and teasy when we actually start the class

actino · 08/01/2018 11:01

Does anyone here with a with young baby go to baby/toddler groups? Dd is 9 weeks old and I'm not sure what we'd actually do at one, but I'm tempted to go for me to socialise. I just feel like I'd sit there holding her.

Handsoffmysweets · 08/01/2018 11:05

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Catscatsandmorecats · 08/01/2018 11:17

You've all reminded me - I really must go to breastfeeding clinic, and to bumps and babies group, there's a great centre that has these just up the road, I just always seem to be too busy, I did loads with DS1 and really enjoyed them, I still see some of the mums I met at them three years later, I think they are worth it. BUT i would say don't screw yourself over and stress yourself out trying to do everything, I say this from experience, chilled times at home are just as important.

We also slept til 7 in the end, DS1 got a star on his chart for staying in his room until after his sun came up. Although there were many disturbances by going to bed so early we got more sleep. Need to balance that with grown up time watching black mirror

I really quite like the phrase this too shall pass, sometimes in the moment it feels never ending and I find it helps to remember it is only temporary. But, that is much easier second time round because I know it will change, first time round was much harder.

Meepmoop · 08/01/2018 11:19

Actino, I started going when DS was 4 months but I would recommend going to them. It's nice just to do something different and have a conversation with other adults.

actino · 08/01/2018 11:42

Ok, I'll give one of the local groups a go next week. I'd like to have an option of something to do on every day of the week.

Zampa · 08/01/2018 12:09

@actino I recommend going to Rhyme Time at your local library. It's free and quite fun!

Jellybean2017 · 08/01/2018 12:51

I've found it hard getting out to baby groups as they tend to be at the wrong times. There's one five minutes away at 1.30 today but DS has fallen asleep on me 🙈 may try to go if he wakes in the next half hour. We are beginning to see a vague routine now at five months so hopefully it will become easier to do groups. Because of the battles we have with naps I'm loathe to wake him to go to a group 🙈 but then means I'm stuck at home on my own.

Last night wasn't too bad. A few decent 2-3 hour stretches. I have to say I agree with Nina re. Easy comfort with breastfeeding. I stopped bf for a week and found it hard especially as DS didn't like dummy, still doesn't 🙈 it's personal choice though and you have to do what you think works for your family and your mental wellbeing. There's no right or wrong and all babies will have their own preferences for comfort anyway.

Hope everyone is having a good Monday!

OP posts:
actino · 08/01/2018 14:11

@Zampa, we've done BookBug(singing/rhymes at her library) a few times and it was good.

@JellyBean2017, we still don't have a good napping schedule as she's only 9 weeks. Having options for every day is appealing to me because then I have something to do if possible. A lot of groups seem to be at 10-1030 which is difficult because I need 60-90 mins in the morning to get us fed and out the door.

NinaMarieP · 08/01/2018 14:32

I do rhyme time on a Tuesday and a baby group on a Thursday. But I go to both with women I met at antenatal swimming so I've not had to go and make new friends there.

I don't even attempt to attend anything that starts before 11 if I'm on my own with him. It takes me about 30 minutes to get to either of those activities, plus trying to make sure he's fed and changed and napped before we go. I could get up earlier but if he's still asleep at 8.30 then I'll be damned if I'm getting out of bed!

actino · 08/01/2018 14:58

I am perplexed at why all of these baby things are so early, do these people have babies and know how long it can take to get out the door??

NinaMarieP · 08/01/2018 15:58

So true actino I guess they're aimed at women who have dropped a kid off at school or nursery and has time to spare afterwards? There's a few groups I'd like to go to but they start at 9 or 9.30 and it's just not worth it!

Meepmoop · 08/01/2018 17:59

First night I'm doing bath night myself tonight, DH is on afternoon shift and I usually get DM to help as she comes up in the evenings when he's on afternoons. However DS now has a set bedtime as we're trying to now get a routine.

UtterlyConfused111 · 08/01/2018 18:01

Can I join this thread please?
I have nothing valuable to add except that DD2 woke up at 3am last night, had a feed, did a poo, and then decided it was morning and refused to even consider going back to sleep.... for two hours...third night in a row.
Belated happy birthday @cats
Mine is on Wednesday. I really hope she sleeps more than 2 bloody hours....
I’m trying to stop bf (Completely off topic). Any tips?
I keep cracking in the middle of the night and putting her on the boob to settle her....which isn’t helping.... but just... I just want to sleep more than 2 hours!

Meepmoop · 08/01/2018 18:09

Welcome @UtterlyConfused111 how old is your DD?

It's tough when they don't sleep! Sorry no tips on how to stop breastfeeding, someone else might be able to help

Handsoffmysweets · 08/01/2018 18:13

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AMagdalena · 08/01/2018 18:50

@Handsoff I also have to politely disagree with parts of your post on breastfeeding and sleep.
My elder brother was FF fed from birth and his nickname was 'little exuctioner'. My DM stopped waking in the night to see to him at one point because she was so exhausted.
Also, the fact your DC's were feeding frequently didn't mean they weren't getting enough breastmilk. Breastmilk is digested a lot faster that formula, plus, babies need to work on supply in the early days, hence the frequent feeding.

Anyway...
DD's poo results came back all clear. 'Perfect, in fact, according to the analyst. The paediatrician sounded slightly surprised, but wants her to try some meds before her scan next week.
The poo mystery continues.

AMagdalena · 08/01/2018 18:52

@Utterly If you have a DP or DH, it might an idea to have them tackle wake-ups for a few nights. I agree with handsoff.

NinaMarieP · 08/01/2018 18:58

We had five poos today between 1am and 2pm... he has also been very grumpy plus had a very long meltdown at 3pm where I ended up putting him on the floor and letting him cry because he was fighting every effort I made to soothe him. Either what he wanted was to be left alone or the calpol I have given him kicked in because he wound down from screaming to mumping to happy playing within 30 minutes.