Anyone want to accompany me while i sleep train DD?

[MrsKoala]

I am starting to sleep train 13mo DD tonight. She has been a terrible sleeper since birth and always co-slept on the boob. I had a consultation with a sleep expert today who has talked me thru a gentle process of sleep training.

I am starting tonight as DH is away for a week from next Thursday, so i want it in place for then. DH is not particularly supportive because he hates them crying (and i love it obviously ) so it would be great if there was someone who was doing theirs at the same time for a mutual support group!

I was really stressing about 2 months ago. Really putting pressure on myself to have sleep sorted by a set date. But it's only since I have relaxed about it all and stopped stressing that the major improvement has happened!
Stage 2 sounds like a good plan!

If it helps at all drinkyourmilk, I started with the feeding to sleep. My DS would wake every 1-2 hours needing boob to go back to sleep. I started with bedtime, changed his routine so that milk wasn't the last thing he did and he had to learn to fall asleep without it. If he woke in the night I would still feed him. Once he could fully settle himself to bed and naps, that's when I started doing the same overnight.

Ah you ladies/gents are very kind. I was expecting to be flamed for making her so dependant on me- but I've PND and I've done what I had to do to survive!
Appreciate the advice (MrsK your advice sheet is fabulous! ) and will make some changes tonight. Looks like I'm not the only one who is trying a slower alternative to CIO.

My little girl is asleep in her own bed. 😮
Took approximately 3 minutes.

What is she planning? .......
Oh- and I didn't feed her to sleep either!
Bath, ready for bed, play, boob, story, into grobag, switch off light together and she lay down and went to sleep.

@drinkyourmilk fingers crossed she's going to go easy on you tonight! I've been doing controlled crying with DD, which has worked well, but every time something sets us back, we have to start from the beginning again. I'm hoping that won't always be the case seeing as I've got 9 months to get it sorted!

Still haven't told DP about our little future sibling for DD 🙈

That's so great drink.

We are doing well with getting DD to bed but she isn't getting napping at all. She has been clingy all day - but i think that's because she is poorly.

Tomorrow i am going out 10-4 and DH has all 3. I'm also not leaving a picnic lunch ready!

Fanny - when will you tell him? DH always knew before i did! He just looked at my knackered face and said 'you're pregnant aren't you?'

Wow that's great well done! Maybe she has been wanting her own space all this time.
DS took his first steps today!
But I think I might have done a bit too much with him today. He Had his dinner fine but then really started crying and got very sleepy. His temp was 39- 40C so gave Calpol and cool bath which brought it down a bit. Drank his milk and literally went to sleep immediately. It has worried me quite a bit. I have checked on him since and will check him again when I go to bed.

I don't know how you have kept it to yourself fanny. I felt sick with nerves waiting to tell DH that he was starting to worry something was wrong! I had to just blurt it out in the end!

MrsK- we're at the PILs until New Year, and it's chaos, people everywhere. We're ok here for a few days and then we just want to get home, so I might wait until we're home and calm!

Boodles - first steps are so precious! Hope he's better and sleeps through for you.

DD has just gone to sleep, but the PILs have been drinking all day and are really loud in a tiny bungalow 😩

When i was pregnant with DS1 i said to dh 'i've got 2 jobs for you.' he said 'fine - what are they?' I said 'first i need you to take all the wrapping and recycling out to the bins' he said 'fine - whats the second one?' I said 'look after another human being for the rest of your life'.

Well done drinkyourmilk and fingers crossed for a good night ahead!
Boodles thank you for mentioning one step at a time - I must remember this! Our issue is night waking rather than getting to sleep in the first place so my small step is going to be settling in cot/room or even travel cot in our room and not co-sleeping.

I’m heading off for an early night so that I’ve had a few hours before the inevitable wake-up call!

How did everyone get on last night?
DS woke about 10.30 really crying and inconsolable. He was sweating so much and his temp hadn't come down. I gave him more Calpol and just cuddled him. He eventually fell asleep on my chest and he didn't move an inch all night. Going docs this morning and had to cancel his first settling session at nursery.

Boodles I hope DS is ok. I think all sleep training can go on hold for illness.

DP was in a great mood this morning, so I tentatively suggested that maybe I could be pregnant as I think I've missed AF this month. He took it quite well, and said 'well it's just more work for you'. I realise this makes him sound like a bit of a dick, but we did agree before any babies that I would do pretty much all the childcare and therefore wouldn't have to work. All a bit old fashioned, I know, but it's not a surprise! I'm relieved.

Well done on telling your DH and congrats again!
DS has an ear infection and I can already see the next tooth ready to pop through. It seems never ending! But he already seems happier and more himself.

We had a night of two halves! T1 woke, as usual, at 3am, screaming, and wouldn’t be settled until finally giving in at 6 and going downstairs (but i won a little as I didn’t bring her in to our room), but T2 slept through, apart from being woken momentarily by her sister, until 8am. It’s made me realise that actually, sometimes you either have a sleeper or you don’t. By their very essence my twins have had exactly the same experience since birth yet one sleeps and one doesn’t.

I’m taking my small victory and trying again tonight
Flamingo my day has been a constant battle of ‘who does more? who’s more tired?’ Sometimes I think it would be easier to have clearly defined roles as I feel I do the lion’s share despite working. DH spent the afternoon building DDs Lego - totally absorbed - whilst I batch cooked for a dinner party tomorrow night with all three children around my feet, trying to open the oven door etc. When I finally snapped the response, as always, was ‘you should have just asked’

Waitress that's really interesting to read as I have often blamed myself for DS' bad sleep and what I have done wrong. I'm sure I'm not the only one who would think that of themselves too. Well done on the victory!

I've been in a Christmas daze but have just caught up with this thread. Congratulations Fanny! I have no idea how you're managing to keep the secret!
We've made pleasing progress and now most nights it's just one wake up at 5ish and we co sleep till 7 ish after that. I can't get him to settle in his cot after that. Staying away for ONE night set us back, as well as funny naps from unavoidable, badly timed car journeys. We have nights where he won't settle and my OH cuddles him to sleep which may be the start of us sliding into trouble again.
Waitress, I have a friend with three children (two of which are twins), who is also a breastfeeding counsellor. She says babies are either sleepers or non-sleepers, regardless what you do! Our little one is not a natural sleeper but is getting better, particularly now I've stopped BF, which I think I miss more than him!

Hope everyone is well at your house Mrs K.

Why can’t I go to bed at a sensible time when I know that I’m a few short hours il be awake again 😩?

Victories last night - settled T1 in her room, she did eventually go back to sleep and actually woke up this morning chatting rather than screaming.
Fails last night - settling took over an hour, I slept on the nursery floor for the first time ever, napping today has been shocking, I’m still not in bed!!

I simply cannot imagine having twins. Hats off to you. Honestly I think I’d just run away from home. When I was massive with dd everyone kept saying ‘I bet it’s twins’ and I was just thinking please please let it not be. I just couldn’t cope.

We’ve had more illnesses. Dd has been very unsettled and clingy and covered in a rash. Ds2 had the runs from hell today. The whole house stinks and we’ve been disinfecting anything not moving. We are suspending sleep training now in favour of potty training. But to say he’s reluctant is an understatement- he’s terrified!! Genuinely frightened of the ducking potty and don’t even suggest the swirling torrents of the toilet.

Anyway. Tonight dd went don late as had a really late nap. So at 9.45. Everyone has been going later since the Xmas hols.

Good luck tonight everyone x

So DH has woken me twice so far. Then DS woke at 12.45 and still isn't settling. I've settled about 3 times and each time he's ok for 15-20 mins then crying again. He's the same as your DD MrsK in that he's covered in a rash and very clingy today.

We've been at my mum's for 2 nights, more confusion for DD. She didn't nap yesterday which meant she was grouchy for most of it, went to bed early and then woke up for the day at 4.30am. I'm beyond tired. DP said last night that he thinks I've already done a pregnancy test and that I know for sure 🙈 I started laughing and then he knew! Back to his parents today for New Year. I cannot wait to get back to our house and our routine and be able to have the odd afternoon nap!

Happy New year everyone. How are you all getting on?

Hi - any updates on how this is going?
Hope its all good now!

Happy New Year! We're still away so DD is still spending half the night in my bed, which I've really enjoyed. I'm a bit sad that after tonight, she'll be back in her own bed all night.

She's been waking at 5.30 as usual and then coming for a cuddle and will go back to sleep till 6.30. It's going to be difficult getting used to the 5.30 starts again.

How are you getting on Boodles?

We're still at the same place with DD really. She goes down with a bit of fuss and wakes 1-2hrs after going down and needs shushing back to sleep. Then she wakes about 2 hrs after that and DH takes her into bed with him. Last night she was awake in the night for a while so they slept late.

DS2 has got completely out of sync and all the car journeys and days out have meant lots of uncontrolled naps. So he's been going to bed very late - last night was midnight.

I'm just trying to feed DD to nap as she just wont go without a feed and the boys are screaming around the place - which means she's too distracted.

We are postponing the sleep training for DS2 as we are starting potty training today. Poor DS2 is really struggling with it. I told him i'd let him choose a toy if he went on the potty so he's been sitting on it for an hour now. He keeps saying when i do a wee then i can have my nappy back and a toy. He seems to think once is enough and then it's back to nappies forever! It was easy with DS1 as he hated the feel, but DS2 will happily sit in it. But he's starting school in Sept and we are going on holiday end of Jan and he will be in clubs and groups and i doubt the leaders will be expecting to change shitty nappies.

It means we're trapped in the house for the foreseeable. I can't wait for Thursday when DS1 goes back to school as he is bouncing off the walls. He has lived on sausage sandwiches for the whole xmas. He has refused any other food. DS2 hasn't been much better.

I don't really know what to do about the sleep training. I think it's pointless starting the night time training till after the holiday as we'll all be in the same room and the change will probably put as back. Also with no night time help and then having to function all day i think i will cave with exhaustion at 3-4am and then it will be worse.

As it is i'm happy as i'm getting loads more sleep with the boys and DH is doing all night wakings. There are no more work away trips planned and DH is happy with this. It's not ideal of course because it means if one of us is sick or has to go away then the one left (me) is screwed. So i will think about tackling it in Feb. But without any help and anyone to let me sleep in the day i just don't know how.