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Original poster

When am i meant to sleep?? 2 week old and dh back to work. Ds wont lay down

226 replies

Jellybabie3 · 23/10/2017 10:51

So overnight DS wouldn't go down til 2. Woke at 4.30am for hour, then again at 8am. So i reckon by the time I've sorted myself out and done some expressing I've had maybe 2hours or so sleep. Hes been awake since only napping in me. if i put him down he wakes up. Dh went back to work today so i have no help and realistically i will be doing night shifts til the weekend. So when am i supposed to sleep?? I'm already worried!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 28/10/2017 09:49

Ok. He screamed alot last night which was unusual for him and the boob didnt soothe him. Me and dh ended up arguing about 2am out of sheer tiredness Sad so difficult being the only one that can bf!! He feels helpless and i get annoyed that he just lays next to me asleep and snores when i am so damn tired. We dont have another bed that we can use either.

Will keep persevering with the sleepyhead cot arrangement (if not just coz we forkes out so much again!!) Fx it changes soon.

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SandSnakeofDorne · 28/10/2017 10:34

The sleepyhead wasn't a miracle for us either. What sometimes worked was putting her down and then dozing off lying up against the sleepyhead with my hand on her stomach. I'm really not the best person to give advice as I never succeeded in getting either of mine to sleep brilliantly without cosleeping. I basically just use the sleepyhead for the evening and then take her into bed when she wakes when I go to bed.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 28/10/2017 10:37

Yeah i did try laying on the edge with mu hand on his tummy. Hes just too good at knowing ive gone!! Going to keep trying.....want him to learn to sleep in his own space.

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NapQueen · 28/10/2017 10:38

I think I would be formula feeding by now. You need dh to step in and do a few hours everyday so you can sleep.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 28/10/2017 10:40

I wonder if a gro bag will help stop temp change. So if i am feeding him he goes down feeling the same temp (ish) and i dont risk tucking him in to wake up

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Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 28/10/2017 10:41

Hmm not ready to cave on formula yet. Ds didnt even have ebm last night on all your advice. Just fed boob boob boob.

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SoupyNorman · 28/10/2017 10:53

Hang in there Jelly it will get easier. Sticking to boob boob boob is great, your baby is helping to boost your supply and he's doing exactly what he's supposed to do!

Feeding lying down was a lifesaver for me, I got so much more sleep once I embraced it. Also your baby is still so tiny, the whole day/night thing doesn't kick in for them till much later. Don't worry about that for now. The most important thing for you to worry about for the time being is feeding your baby - everything else can wait. And it sounds like you're doing a great job

I was also helped by realising that babies are programmed to feed more at night for all sorts of reasons - this page has some interesting stuff.

MrsMotherHen · 28/10/2017 10:55

I would stop buying every sleep aid known to man (although sleeping bags are great) you cant use them until over 8lb I think not 100% sure. You will end up spending a fortune and by the looks of it it isn't working.

3 weeks is still tiny tiny and I counted 3 Hours as a good stretch I know its crap but it doesnt last long honestly.

Does baby sleep well on you? Get on the sofa get baby on your chest and get your hubby to be in the room to keep an eye on you both?

Anatidae · 28/10/2017 10:58

Stop seeing formula as failure

Success = getting through it.

10storeylovesong · 28/10/2017 10:59

jelly giving formula or ebm is not caving, it is surviving. None of the things suggested are magic solutions and none are going to work first time. My Ds didn't take to the dummy at first - I needed to persevere and keep tapping as pp suggested. I have lots of cute photos of him looking like he's in a coma in Sleepyhead - it's taken hours of picking up and putting down to get him to look like that.

You're going to crack up if you keep putting so much pressure on yourself. You won't be any good to anyone if you physically can't do anything through exhaustion.

Is your DH off work today? Can he take baby for an hour while you get some sleep?

TittyGolightly · 28/10/2017 11:03

want him to learn to sleep in his own space.

For about the hundredth time, please read up on the fourth trimester. For the first 13 weeks of life your baby is premature. Should not have been born yet. He wants what he had in the womb - being held securely, rocked to sleep and fed on demand. He has no idea he isn't still attached to you. At this stage he can no sooner sleep alone as climb a tree.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 28/10/2017 11:12

Ok understood

OP posts:
Dermymc · 28/10/2017 11:12

He's 3 weeks old... Do what you have to do to survive!

Co sleeping safely will save your sanity.

My 9mo now sleeps through the night new coslept until he was 5mo.

crazycatlady5 · 28/10/2017 11:14

OP you don’t need to give formula to get through this. I don’t really understand why people are getting worked up about your choice to breastfeed Hmm

Also, what Titty said.

TriGirl007 · 28/10/2017 11:25

Just wanted to say good luck my first was just like yours she’s now 10yrs old and mega sports girls still has nonstop energy. Your doing fine we survived by being a team. My DH tried hard to do first shift 7-10pm just so I knew I could get 3 solid hours sleep - he would offer take her out in the baby carrier and walk for hours as she would sleep against his chest walking. If I was up all night he would take over at 6-8am so I could get 2hrs sleep again, and he’d had enough to survive at work. Do whatever works for you no baby follows the “text book”. Hope the BF helper is reassuring Flowers

Sparrowlegs248 · 28/10/2017 11:41

What helped me with putting Ds1 down was feed him wrapped in a blanket, then icould pick him up hammock style and move him to bed. There was no temperature change of the mattress.

Fwiw ds2 has a bottle of formula every night at bedtime . It makes sod all difference to his sleep . It just means someone else can give it. Still me feeding in the night though

SandSnakeofDorne · 28/10/2017 13:20

Don't give formula if you don't want to. The first three weeks breastfeeding are the hardest and by six weeks it is so much easier. It's actually fine to want to breastfeed and be committed to getting through this bit. I got through it twice. You can do it.

Have you got a sleeping bag? I think it does help a bit.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 28/10/2017 13:59

Thanks!! Do feel like i cant win on that front. People rell you to get off formula asap because of supply then tell you to use it to sleep Confused.

Great tip about blanket Smile

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Lovingtyrells · 28/10/2017 15:25

Don’t use formula just to try and sleep. This is really normal at this age. Get DH to hold the baby on chest in between feeds while you sleep. Also get him to hold baby and give expressed milk if necessary when he gets home from work while you sleep before the night.

user1487671808 · 28/10/2017 15:37

Before the internet was so easily available by oldest slept for hours in her car seat which was part of the new trendy britax travel systems. Another spent many hours snoozing while wedged into a moving electric swing as had silent reflux and sleep was really hard. I just dozed when they were quiet, often with the telly on. Just do what you need to do, this but is a real adjustment period and no sleep makes everything so much harder.

museumum · 28/10/2017 15:39

I haven’t read the whole thread but in those early weeks I slept 8pm to midnight while dh saw to / held ds (that was between feeds for us).
I got a bit of sleep after midnight fed again about three then a bit more sleep.
We had a sidecar cot I just rolled him into and sleeping bags.
Then also after a 6am feed dh took him again for another 1.5hrs.

TittyGolightly · 28/10/2017 15:48

oldest slept for hours in her car seat which was part of the new trendy britax travel systems.

Babies absolutely shouldn't be left to sleep in car seats.

Purdyandwheezy · 28/10/2017 16:05

Stop trying to put him down in the day. Just let him feed and sleep on you. You won't be able to sleep but you can rest and rest your mind and relax and feel better. Your baby will that way be getting more sleep and sleep breeds sleep. They don't sleep deeply enough when they are overtired and if he keeps waking up when you put him down it's a waste of time anyway. Some babies just don't like being put down. Get dh to hold the baby from when he gets home to midnight and maybe give a bottle of formula. You should be able to get a few hours in a row that way.
Just sit all day and hold the baby, no housework, quickest food you can. By 6 weeks both of mine became much easier and sleeping slightly better at night x

Purdyandwheezy · 28/10/2017 16:10

Oh and put all thoughts about making a rod for your own back and trying to train him to sleep alone out of your mind. He is tiny, he doesn't k ow he's in a safe house next to you, the more secure he feels now the better going forwards apparently. I barely put my DD down the first few weeks and she sleeps through 12 hours now and settles herself for 2 good naps a day. But they need holding and help getting to sleep early on

Lelly0503 · 28/10/2017 17:44

I was the same as you OP and almost looking for different solutions that would help baby sleep when in fact it is just down to how tiny they are, and in my case I did try a bottle of formula thinking it would help him sleep longer at night and he slept the same length of time as the night before when I had BF. However I do think a bottle in the night given by your DH would give you a bit more
Sleep which would make the world of difference to you. I did move to formula at 5 weeks but at nearly 8 Weeks he has only just started going longee at night, it is so hard but like PP have said it is just about surviving. Baby will get used to sleeping in his own space eventually but I don’t think its something that can be learnt at his age as he’s so tiny.