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Original poster

When am i meant to sleep?? 2 week old and dh back to work. Ds wont lay down

226 replies

Jellybabie3 · 23/10/2017 10:51

So overnight DS wouldn't go down til 2. Woke at 4.30am for hour, then again at 8am. So i reckon by the time I've sorted myself out and done some expressing I've had maybe 2hours or so sleep. Hes been awake since only napping in me. if i put him down he wakes up. Dh went back to work today so i have no help and realistically i will be doing night shifts til the weekend. So when am i supposed to sleep?? I'm already worried!!

OP posts:
crazycatlady5 · 26/10/2017 11:11

I sent you a PM Jelly Smile x

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 11:14

No its not just how much milk its the time it takes. As i said he will gulp 90-120ml. He falls asleep all the time at my breast, i am constantly waking him up. So to not give him the top up at 1am i feel like i would have sat there til kingdom come. (I did anyway). I think theres a local group i van call. Just not sure they can say anytging different to you guys

OP posts:
Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 11:26

Thanks crazycat i am glad this isnt just me!!! IYKWIM.

I am feeling better after the hour nap. Or atleast i am not on the brink of tears!!

OP posts:
SandSnakeofDorne · 26/10/2017 11:36

Is he always very sleepy during feeds? Is he yellow at all?

Ineedfun · 26/10/2017 11:37

Are you doing breast compressions and has he been checked for tongue tie? Is he jaundiced?

If you're having to wake him constantly it suggests the milk is not flowing properly and he's not actively feeding for long enough. Great compressions will help keep the flow of milk coming and increase your supply at the same time.

If he has a tongue tie, it may be he's not able to extract the milk efficiently so falls asleep from sucking and is then hungry again. I would find RL support and get someone to check the latch and see what's going on.

Anatidae · 26/10/2017 11:37

Good!

Seriously - stop expressing. Baby on boob as much as possible. Learn to nurse lying down (revelation, honestly.)

One bottle in the evening, given by dh while you have a block of sleep. Formula, not expressed, unless you’ve got milk to spare.

It gets better - it’s hard while you’re in the middle of it though, I do know that.

crazycatlady5 · 26/10/2017 11:47

@Jellybabie3 absolutely! I remember one day my mum came over with her friend who is one of those ‘everything is wonderful all the time’ types Grin probably around the two week mark and I was very tearful and tired. She just kept going on about how wonderful it is and ‘never mind the lack of sleep just enjoy it’ remarks - I could have smacked her! Grin

You’ll get there, being a mum is tough.

Regarding the above I would disagree that having to keep waking the baby suggests something is wrong. Newborns are always sleepy they basically just feed and sleep the whole time. Waking every 2 hours as suggested by the midwife means baby is sleeping for 2 hours then feeding then sleeping etc.

As long as nappy output is normal I’m sure everything is fine x

gincamelbak · 26/10/2017 11:55

Breast compressions were useful for DD actually - she could fall asleep quickly so blowing gently in her ear or tickling her feet to wake her up or breast compressions worked. The website Kellymom bad useful information on it.

Don't worry about how quickly the baby drinks from the bottle - it could be a faster flow than your letdown.

Your baby is very little. You're only just beginning to get to know them and only just getting to grips with understanding what they need and when. You are doing a good job - it takes time to figure these things out.

If you can call the local group, I would. They may say exactly the same things as on here but talking to people face to face can be very comforting.

NapQueen · 26/10/2017 12:23

Might he take to a dummy? Suckling for comfort some of the time.

TittyGolightly · 26/10/2017 12:51

Last night he was just feed feed feed for hours til i caved and gave him the expressed. He gulped it down. All that went through my mind was that it would have taken hours to give him that 90ml from the breast as he falls asleep so much.

The constant suckling is placing an order for the next few days rather than immediate. You're not McDonald's!

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 13:07

Hes still awake. I have no idea how

OP posts:
NapQueen · 26/10/2017 13:18

If he sleep on your chest can you just leave him there for a couple of hours rather than trying to put him down?

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 13:22

Ueah although i dnt sleep

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 26/10/2017 13:28

Do you try?

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 13:45

With him on me? No.

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 26/10/2017 13:47

I don't really know what you're looking for. Confused

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 13:49

Well i cant sit on couch with him asleep on me.what if he slips? Doesnt this go against all guidelines

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 26/10/2017 13:50

You don't seem to be taking anything on board.

You aren't sleeping at night - you're advised this is normal and to sleep during the day but you don't try.

Your baby doesn't like lying down or sleeping alone - you're advised this is normal and ways to manage it but you don't try.

You're expecting things to change when you aren't doing anything differently.

Anatidae · 26/10/2017 13:51

Newborns are always sleepy they basically just feed and sleep the whole time.

Mine wasn’t! Little sod came out looking critically at the surgical team (this ones looking back at us! I heard them say.) he never had that sleepy newborn phase, he was constantly waking up and of course I was totally clueless as a first timer. I thought I was doing something wrong and looking back I wasn’t, he was just a very alert baby. Plus I was hugely sleep deprived, and that makes everything worse.

You’re doing ok, op. One day at a time. Babies can be really tough - there’s always people with those decorative doll like babies who sleep and feed perfectly, and always people who mean well but make you feel worse, like catlady’s visitor.

It’s hard work - if you’ve got wet nappies then he’s feeding. Go easy on yourself, get all the help you can muster and just try to get through it. Big unmumsnetty hug to you. It’s almost the weekend and you e almost got through your first week without dh in the day.

TittyGolightly · 26/10/2017 13:52

If you won't sleep with him on you then put him in his bouncer with white noise and something that vibrates and sleep next to him.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 13:56

Ive just removed him from his bouncer. He lasted 10mins before getting hysterical. He's now back on boob. I am trying.

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 26/10/2017 13:57

With white noise and movement?

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 13:58

Ive tried everything i feel comfortable trying. Im not sleeping on the couch with him on me as this goes against everything i have been advised. Sofa is a no no IMO

OP posts:
Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 13:59

Yes it vibrates and i have tried YouTube white noise all morning

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 26/10/2017 13:59

I get that it's tough - I had nobody around apart from 36 hours at the weekend to help me so had to do whatever it took to get through each day and night.

I built a nest of pillows in bed to support me sleeping upright with DD on my chest. And at 2 weeks I was in bed all day everyday and living on cereal and toast whilst waking 4 hourly to pump. That's what it took.