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Original poster

When am i meant to sleep?? 2 week old and dh back to work. Ds wont lay down

226 replies

Jellybabie3 · 23/10/2017 10:51

So overnight DS wouldn't go down til 2. Woke at 4.30am for hour, then again at 8am. So i reckon by the time I've sorted myself out and done some expressing I've had maybe 2hours or so sleep. Hes been awake since only napping in me. if i put him down he wakes up. Dh went back to work today so i have no help and realistically i will be doing night shifts til the weekend. So when am i supposed to sleep?? I'm already worried!!

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Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 13:59

He has ewan the sheep at night

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TittyGolightly · 26/10/2017 14:04

I have no idea what that is, but at 2 weeks old he can't differentiate between day and night, so don't treat them differently.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 14:05

Yep im still in pjs. Albeit downstairs with all the curtains open for daylight. Ive eaten crisps and rice cakes and juice from a carton because that's all i can reach. Im not taking this lightly. I am trying.

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Anatidae · 26/10/2017 14:13

Go to bed - wrap yourself up warm and tuck the duvet into the base of the bed so it can’t get higher than your hips.

No covers or anything he could tangle in. Lie on one side with your arm above your head and snuggle him into the armpit/nose level with nipple.

It take a while to get but it’ll help enormously. You can both doze and he can feed.
You WILL wake if he stirs. It’s weird - you just get very attuned to them. As long as you follow safe guidelines and don’t smoke or drink or have a specific reason (some medications) then cosleeping is actually very safe. The data on it has limped in people who fall asleep on sofas/drink etc with people who sleep safely and that’s skewed the data.

All the sheep and white noise are great for a bit later on. Right now he’s absolutely brand new and he just needs to be near you and feed. Mine never really had any prolonged periods of sleep until months later, he kind of napped and snacked his way through the first months.

When you’re up and about get a sling - you can even feed them in a sling.

ScarlettDarling · 26/10/2017 14:19

Ah Jelly , big hugs. My babies are now 10 and 13 and yet I still remember those early days as clear as anything. They're killers. The only thing that worked for me was switching to formula at night, and then formula full time. It just meant that dh could do some feeds and that I could get some sleep and also it helped my babies to go longer between feeds. If you feel strongly that you want to persevere with exclusive breast feeding then this isn't the advice for you. If you are flexible on this then get your dh to try a few evening formula feeds and take the opportunity to sleep.

If you decide to persevere with ebf then be reassured that it will soon get better. At 2 weeks your baby is still so tiny and his body clock has no concept of day and night yet. That will come though and I think you're doing the right thing by differentiating between day and night feeds. Keep daytime feeds chatty and nighttime feeds in a dimly lit room with no talking or background noise.

One other tip, no matter how tired you are, try to get out every day for a walk. The fresh air will make up you feel more awake and less isolated. Also, hopefully your son will fall asleep in the pushchair and hopefully stay asleep for a while when you get home, giving you the chance to have something to eat or a cuppa.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 14:32

Thanks. I want to keep going with bf as we fought so hard to get him off formula top ups from hosp. I feel like he will crack and settle im just desperately tired now. I dont want to hurt him by falling or doing something stupid. Its so difficult to know whats best. Dh seems to be coming round to the idea of putting a cot next to our bed with side off. We can get one from ikea for 40 quid and put the sleepyhead in that, might make night feeds easier? This will be his third bed though Confused as he already has baby box and moses. Hes asleep on me now so atleast Hes resting.

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Anatidae · 26/10/2017 14:33

Sidecar cribs are great - do it!

SprinkleOfInsanity · 26/10/2017 14:35

Could it be the startle reflex waking him up? If so, try swaddling?

Is it cold wherever you place him for a nap? If so, pop a warm hot water bottle there for a few minutes beforehand.

The sleepyhead is perfectly safe for cosleeping, its sides are too high not to notice if you try rolling on to it in the night (as long as neither of you smoke or drink).

There is a certain herbal tea that helps to increase milk production (and keeps you hydrated) tea for breast milk production, it's also imperative that you keep your own hydration up, so make sure to take a bottle of water with you to drink whilst pumping and feeding, otherwise you will essentially dry out.

Be kind to yourself, it's not easy and is very frustrating, in true MN fashion 'this too shall pass'. Also get your DH on side with any things you want to do, it's no use having an unsupportive DH who doesn't want to do certain things, whereas it's you left holding the baby at the end of the day. Flowers hang in there, and remember you need looked after too.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 14:46

I think it is startle reflex yes as hes fast asleep but senses being put down. I watched him yesterday and he waves his arms about in his sleep which woke him up in moses. Sleepyhead is more snug so he seems ok in that IF i can get him down without him noticing. I have also done the hot water bottle trick for past week and am taking fenugreek caps for milk.

I dont mind forking out for a side cot if it means i can roll him onto his own bit. Although now im wondering if that makes the sleepyhead redundant as i would need to lift him in????

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LapinR0se · 26/10/2017 14:48

You need to stop him falling asleep on your boob and put him down awake.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 14:54

Yup have tried that. The moses basket rocks. I mustve done that for hours last night. Will keep trying. He falls asleep ALOT feeding. Have to do all sorts to wake him up.

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SprinkleOfInsanity · 26/10/2017 14:59

The side cot is brilliant with the sleepyhead in it, we used it that way until DC were too big for the sleepyhead. I'd give swaddling a go if he's waking himself up that way, and Moses baskets can be so creaky/scratchy that maybe the noise is waking him up.

Dermymc · 26/10/2017 15:02

He's too young for putting down awake and expecting him to sleep. My ds didn't get to that stage til 5months plus.

Co sleeping is what you need. Mixed with you sleeping in the day.

Co sleeping safely isn't dangerous.

He is 2 weeks old. I think you need to lower your expectations.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 15:02

Ok will try swaddle again. Brought the blankets and he didnt like it. Fx this time...

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Anatidae · 26/10/2017 15:02

There’s nothing wrong with him falling asleep on the boob at two weeks old.

The routines and put them down sleepy but awake stuff can wait. This baby is two weeks old!

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 15:12

I agree btw. I dont think i have a hope of getting him down awake. Will try. But feels like a bit much

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AMagdalena · 26/10/2017 15:24

A lot of babies don't fall asleep on their own. Only 20% or so do.
It's perfectly normal.

And really, research co-sleeping. It can be done safely.

crazycatlady5 · 26/10/2017 15:24

Honestly I wouldn’t even try, he’s a newborn they’re designed to fall asleep cosy in your arms. Honestly your best bet currently would be swaddle and dummy (if you want to go down that road) or cosleep. The sleepyhead won’t be redundancy even if baby sleeps in the cot next to you. Soon enough it’ll be easier to put him down and he’ll nap in the sleepyhead. My 9 month old slept downstairs for all sleeps in the sleepyhead and then in bed with me exclusively until 5 months old, then she slept in the sleepyhead downstairs and sleepyhead upstairs in her cot until last month!

crazycatlady5 · 26/10/2017 15:25

won’t be redundant*

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 15:27

Ace thanks. Me and Dh will review the cot tonight. I think there must be soemthing we can do. Money seems less important when you cant function. I dont like seeing DS so tired and cranky either. Only an hour til he's home now. Ive also called local bf network. An advisor will call me today for a chat.

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MrsMotherHen · 26/10/2017 15:28

whats wrong with some formula top ups?

MrsMotherHen · 26/10/2017 15:29

as long as your baby is fed I really don't see an issue. Although thats just my opinion. Formula isnt poison.

AMagdalena · 26/10/2017 15:32

MrsMotherHen formula isn't poison by any means but can potentially affect lactation in the long term. Many women successfully mix feed, though.

PonderLand · 26/10/2017 15:34

Have you tried giving him the expressed milk when he's laid down in the cot? Might give you a bit of time if he falls asleep during the feed.

I don't agree with falling asleep with him on the sofa/chair, if you're going to sleep with a newborn you need to do it by the co-sleeping guidelines. Anything can happen if you sleep on a sofa or chair with a baby so small.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 15:39

No I'm not saying its poison i have just worked bloody hard to bf. When DS was born the birth was awful. I lost alot of blood and DS was too stressed to feed. As a consequence my milk didnt come in and he lost 13.8% body weight. We stayed 5 days on a feeding plan which included bf, expressing and formula. I am now expressing to replace the formula bit as well as fenugreek to bulk supply. Its been really hard but i know we can do it. I still have formula in the cupboard as a back up. Its not wrong its just what me and DH want

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