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Original poster

When am i meant to sleep?? 2 week old and dh back to work. Ds wont lay down

226 replies

Jellybabie3 · 23/10/2017 10:51

So overnight DS wouldn't go down til 2. Woke at 4.30am for hour, then again at 8am. So i reckon by the time I've sorted myself out and done some expressing I've had maybe 2hours or so sleep. Hes been awake since only napping in me. if i put him down he wakes up. Dh went back to work today so i have no help and realistically i will be doing night shifts til the weekend. So when am i supposed to sleep?? I'm already worried!!

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Mumguiltisabitch · 26/10/2017 15:44

Jelly god ia can feel the desperation from your posts. Please stop trying to teach him night from day and getting him to crack and settle. He's 2 weeks old all he wants is to be with you and on you. It's all he knows. I'm sure plenty have done but I couldn't have breastfed successfully without Co sleeping. Take your baby to bed wrap him up and put a dressing gown on you. No blankets. Feed him lying down and doze. Put your arm out so you cant roll on him and squash him. You'll thank me I promise you. Worry about day and night another day when you've had some sleep. Xxx

TittyGolightly · 26/10/2017 16:19

Please please please read about the fourth trimester. Your baby should still be inside you. Expecting him to sleep without hearing your heartbeat or being rocked is utterly foolhardy.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 16:21

Looks like we will go for a side sleeper pod. Like the chicco next to me. More practical for us now.

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MrsMotherHen · 26/10/2017 16:24

AMagdalena

formula isn't poison by any means but can potentially affect lactation in the long term. Many women successfully mix feed, though.

I did not know this to be honest.

I think you really really need to try co sleeping it really is a game changer. For your own sanity aswell . With my first I didn't try it as like you was scared. I now sometimes cosleep with my 18 week old and have done snice about 3 weeks.

Put husband on the sofa for the night. Wear your warmest pjs. Push bed against the wall (I pull my babys cot against the side of the bed to act as a bed guard.) Take all the pillows off the bed no blankets hence warm pjs. (I use my quilt but wouldnt for a long time, i keep it at hip level now) put baby in bed with you lie on your side with baby next to you. I promise you will wake up you do sleep but it's such a light sleep but sleep is sleep.

co sleeping is safe if done right do some research.

laurzj82 · 26/10/2017 16:30

Just keep on keeping on. It gets easier. I caved and switched to ff so well done for sticking with the expressing.

One thing that helped for putting DD in her moses was warming it up with a hot water bottle first (make sure to take it out beforehand and that it's not too warm!) And putting a t shirt or something that smelled of me down the end. When you put them down cuddle them to the last second and kind of lean over as you put them in if that makes sense.

At that age just go with the flow and remember it doesn't last forever!

laurzj82 · 26/10/2017 16:35

Oh and bollocks to the putting down sleepy at that age. Do whatever gets you some sleep! If it's startle reflex the Love to Dream Swaddle up saved my sanity

heateallthebuns · 26/10/2017 16:40

I'm another suggesting co sleeping. I was worried about squishing him too. But in the end I had to he wouldn't sleeep unless I was physically holding him so a bedside cot wouldn't even work. Then my sister intervened. She pointed out babies instincts are to be jeld by their mothers and for our whole millennia of evolution that's what we've done. It's not a normal deep sleep you have co sleeping, (maybe one half of your brain stays awake). It is safe if you are breast feeding have the baby on the opposite side to your dh (as men may not have same instincts), have not had a drink / smoker, have pillow and covers well away from baby. Gorillas don't have Moses baskets!!!! I'm sure there are up to date links others have posted about safe co sleeping and the flaws of research that says it isn't safe.

heateallthebuns · 26/10/2017 16:42

Oh yeah I forgot to mention, with my co sleeping the baby fed while I slept. Self service.

heateallthebuns · 26/10/2017 16:47

Don't co sleep on the sofa. That's not safe. Go into your bed with baby in the day and have a nap together while you feed. I used to love that. Lovely warm sleepy cuddles ahhhhhhhh.

BowlingShoes · 26/10/2017 17:14

So many of us have been in the same position as you. Some babies just refuse to sleep in the cot or basket, no matter how much money you spend on it.
Realistically, given what you've said so far, it looks like your options are:

  1. Replace some feeds with formula so he hopefully feels full for longer and someone else can give him a bottle while you sleep.
  2. Co-sleep safely following guidelines suggested above so that you can sleep while he is feeding. BF is one of the factors that reduces the risk of SIDS.
  3. Accept that you will only get short stretches of sleep and mitigate this as best you can by sleeping while he naps in a pram or bouncy chair and getting as much help as you can.
Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 17:21

Ok thanks. Will grit my teeth and carry on.

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BowlingShoes · 26/10/2017 17:31

The lack of sleep is a killer, but it does pass eventually!

SmileSunshine · 26/10/2017 17:47

Wind him regularly even with bfing, get up any gas so he doesn't get crampy or reflux. I used to rub the bottoms of dc's feet to wake them when they start to nod off so they got a good feed before going to sleep. Your DS probably prefers to guzzle the expressed bottle because it releases quicker than having to put the effort into feeding and waiting for your letdown. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself too soon. The early days are tough, hang in there Flowers

Mrscog · 26/10/2017 17:56

A side sleeper cot should help - it's great because you can sort of put them down, then shuffle over into it yourself while they settle and then once they're settled shuffle back into your bed. I've done cosleeping in my bed and with a sidesleeper and much prefered the sidesleeper.

The other thing is I know you mentioned white noise, but have you got it loud enough? In my experience it needed to be on my phones full volume and really close to them. People I know who've tried it quieter haven't had the same sucess.

You're doing a great job, it gets better - my DS1 was very similar to yours.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 18:01

Just ordered one of these arriving tomorrow. Wish me luck!!

www.toysrus.co.uk/babiesrus/babylo-cozi-sleeper-crib/TRUP2447620001

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crazycatlady5 · 26/10/2017 18:04

Brilliant good luck mama! You can lie down with him feeding and sneeeeeakily slide him over, see how you go.

SprinkleOfInsanity · 26/10/2017 18:23

Good luck @Jellybabie3

Hopefully the side car crib will work miracles, the smallest thing like your baby being able to hear you breathing can help with babies new to the world settle.

I would also recommend Ollie the owl as a white noise soother, it has a cry sensor and comes on immediately that any whimper is made. We had ewan the miracle working sheep for DC1 and it was brilliant, but Ollie the owl is way more dynamic Flowers

Will keep my fingers crossed that the sleep fairies visit you soon Smile

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 18:35

Tbh i was planning on sleeping on the edge if the bed with my arm in the crib so he can help himself..

OP posts:
crazycatlady5 · 26/10/2017 18:40

Jelly that is a great idea he will feel your warmth and hear you and the ‘all night canteen’ will be open! Good luck! Fill us in tomorrow x

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 18:42

Thanks. Will be happy when it arrives and DH has got it rigged up. New pjs for me and DS to celebrate

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Mumguiltisabitch · 26/10/2017 19:35

That's a great idea. Good luck xxx

daffodilbaby · 26/10/2017 19:35

We weren't happy cosleeping with our first - BUT we compromised by cosleeping with the sleepyhead - so you move dh out of bed and put the sleepyhead next To you in the bed. For us that solved our problems - baby still very close and can smell you, etc and just have to pop them in but we didn't have to worry about covers over her or squishing her as she was in the sleepyhead in the bed. Good luck!

daffodilbaby · 26/10/2017 19:38

Disclaimer - we hav a massive bed so lots of space for this - might not work in smaller bed where you could knock baby out of bed!

Bluebellwoods123 · 26/10/2017 20:15

If you’ve got a Mother or mother in law nearby or who can come a stay, get them to come give them some dummies and feed the baby and hand it over. They can push the price walk, cuddle baby etc when you sleep. They can also help with the washing and bring you food and drink. It does get gradually easier as they will sit in bouncy chair a little bit longer, sleep a little bit longer. I hope you have better night

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 26/10/2017 21:07

Laid in bed woth DS. Its nice. Not brave enough to sleep but i can see how the side sleeper will work.

Thick question but i assume it's ok for him to be on side.....only logical way he can bf right? I have steared clear Even though i know he likes sleeping on side due to risks. I have let him fall asleep like that and rolled him after hes asleep though

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