'Sleep is for the Weak' for anyone with August/Sep 06 DC's

[justJAM]

GM, Cruise and anyone else with LO's born around August/September 06' - this is a support thread for when you have no clue as to why your LO is doing the exact opposite to what they were doing last week and when you are thinking WTF????
Post on here and we shall all compare notes and comfort each other!!

kiera - you sound like me earlier, when i KNEW what a shit mother i was, that i should never have had a baby, that all of my boys difficulties are my fault, that his constant whinging is much more likely to be my bad parenting than his toothache....and i too was wanting to hurt either him or me....i think this is normal parenting maybe, an ordinary reaction to the torture of sleep deprivation. it will pass, and will come again no doubt, and this mothering business is just the hardest thing in the world, ESPECIALLY in this insane society! ive stayed in more natural societies for a bit, and there just isn't the isolation and craziness of mothering here, and also the babies just dont cry as much, and i don't know why, maybe cos they are carried all the time, but i think because our babies have so much weird stimulation, unnatural light etc., its much harder to get used to, and probably cos we as mothers are so tense and uptight, because we are living in an insane society....etc etc, and so it goes on.
scuse the rant.

tibsy - my lo is 5 months today and last couple of days particularly bad, i think he is teething too: same as me!

ruth: please please dont think your lo dropping weight is your fault for bf, its the centiles if anything. i have just come back from this babycafe i go to on a friday (its a lifesaver!) its a bf support thing and about 3/4 of the mothers get hassled for their babies being "under" what they once were, what they should be, or what the formula-led centiles say they should be. they all get so stressed about it and constantly get called in for clinic appointments and its crazy. babies slow down their weight gain. people started telling me my boy was too fat, he's always been on the 98th, and followed it by the book (about the only textbook thing he's gone for. personal growth is his main hobby ) but my star of a breastfeeding counsellor is so chilled, and im not feeding him too much, you're not starving yours, they just come in different shapes and sizes.
my god, as if the pressure we as women get isnt bad enough, they want our babies to be all monocultural too!
seem to be on a ranty one today. oops.

oh, my boy woke screaming from his nap...our nap rather, he was in my arms, and wouldnt stop for 10 mins, he does this quite a lot. does anyone elses seem REALLY upset on waking, even if you are there??

x

hear hear maebee! babies in other cultures don't cry as uch and sleep better because they are metaphoricaly and often literally strapped to their mothers. There's too much pressure in our society to be 'perfect' at everything and treat our babies as enemies tha need to be tamed and forced into a 'routine' instead of respecting them for the individuals they are! rant over.... glass of wine calling

thanks everyone. maybe I should just chill out and accept that lo is just a catnap kind of a baby. just seems to have power naps then crash out for an hour or two every few days. hate the inpredictability of it but I guess they are changing all the time and he might fall into his own routine eventually (as did ds1) or sleep longer when he gets active. or if he doesn't I shall just have to accept that is the way he is.

anyway sorry to rush off again but we have visitors arriving anytime now. seem to have got ourselves unintentionally seeing three sets of friends over the next three days already I'm stressing about how I'm going to find the time to clean the house, do the washing, make lo's purees, bake (yeah I like to bake all our cakes - bought just aren't the same...)

gtg they have arrived!

Ruth, I agree don't feel pressured to wean. She's dropping percentiles not loosing weight. I haven't bothered getting DD weighed for a few weeks because I know she's happy and also didn't want to feel the pressure. I've started offering her finger foods just to get her used to different tastes and stuff not not pressuring her to wean. I'm begining to realise that weaning is far more difficult than BF so I won't be pushing it too hard too soon.

Kiera, bless you with bells on. You are doing such a fu@king hard job (and such a good one) that I can completely understand you feeling that things are out of your control. I also shout (DD thinks it's funny thankfully) cat gets a shove with my big toe and sometimes like a total mentalist I bite a jumper, punch a cushion whatever as it seems to be the only thing to get rid of pent up frustration without hurting anyone. I scream and shout at DH, never did that before, he thinks I've turned into a looney but honestly this motherhood milarky is the biggest test.

My DD is also a cat napper although she is slowly getting better, partially because I'm cuddling her in the afternoon. We went through a couple of months where she'd be really grumpy between naps, obviously tired yet wouldn't sleep. I found it the hardest thing in the world and tried the NCSS and BW type methods of increasing nap time. Load of b@llocks tho. DIdn't work for me and just accepting it was very liberating. If she got too bad I just stuck her in the buggy. Seems to be easier to handle in the open air.
Give yourself a break with the cooking at least. Purees aren't that important yet, just mash up a bit of your veg for a couple of days until you have time. And as for the cakes. You have to be kidding? You have two children FFS!!! I don't even manage to prepare or cook the dinner most days and I've only got one.

Cruise, DD has also just discovered rolling onto her tummy. She wasn't at all interested in rolling until about 2 days ago now is on her tummy in about 2 seconds flat. She hates it on her tummy and seems to vom quite a lot but can't roll back yet so I flip her but... seconds later she's back on her tummy. I would flip her at night too but she's a side sleeper anyway and I have her wedged so can't roll too far.

Maebea, DD always screams after her afternoon nap. Think it's because she always wakes after 30 mins and actually needs more. Eventually she will go back to sleep but has a good scream first. I also just sit cuddling her until she's finished and either goes back to sleep or we get up. (this can be if she sleeps in her cot or on my knee) There isn't any other explanation for it other than she's pissed off that she's woken up

Thanks for the reassurance. Have had a fab night out with the girls for the first time since lo arrived!!!!
DP coped brilliantly (oh dear too much wine can't spell!) may have to do it again soon!
Will let you know how the baby rice goes tomorrow , can't believe how excited I am about it - it has to be far more complicated than BF!
So many changes now she is 6 months - Food and buggy instead of pram. Poor thing won't know what hit her!!!!

morning ladies. beautiful day where I am. Not too bad a night. Ds coughed so much he was sick (again!...that's every night this week)but somehow he manged to contain it in a neat little pile in his cot (bit like cat sick!) so i just threw the bedding in the washing machine and brought him in beside me (about 10pm) and he slept until 7.30 this morning. he's having a nap atm. Got apt at 1 with my beautician do be de-fuzzed head to toe and then a pedicure afterwards for being brave during the brazilian! grandparents babysitting.
Maebee, Gn and ruth you're right on the centiles. They're too high and are based on ff babies and my hv said they are in the process of bringing them down due to child obesity starting in infancy.
Ruth glad you had a good night out

hi

ginger you made me smile thinking of you biting a jumper. lol at the cat and at dd finding it funny! ds1 looks worried and lo goes all quiet (usually a cheeky chappie full of smiles) when I shout so I try not to do it very often...I might try the cuddling thing when he wakes up as he does wake up crying like he wants to sleep some more. I did the Annabel Karmel meal planner for purees with ds1 and it was fab and very easy to do, its easiest for me to do the same with lo unless we are eating something he can have a bit of (not always). Unfortunately I have to cook dinner as ds1 needs it on the table by 6.30 latest to get him to bed on time and dh does not come home till 6 still I seem to manage it OK most days.

ruth, how did the baby rice go? I found 1 tsp in 10 tsp milk far too runny, ended up using 3 tsp to 10 tsp milk!!! and lo managed it ok...

bampa - hope you enjoyed your pampering!

right off to settle down in front of "casualty" before bed...friends gone home now : )

last night - asleep at 7:15pm, woke at 2 till 3 then up at 6:30am! One waking! one I tell you!!!

great news cruise x

Well done Cruise! Do you feel odd for having so much sleep?

Baby rice went far too well, you would think she has eaten before, I wasn't being quick enough for her and she started trying to grab the spoon and put it in her mouth herself! She opens her mouth really wide and then chews
I only did 1 tsp yesterday but she was really annoyed when it was all gone so I did 2 today and she gobbled that down, her Daddy fed her it today and about half way through he handed her the bottle lid it was in, she put it to her mouth like a cup and ate it from there! Sooooo Funny! If she carries on like this she will be back to being a chubby thing in no time
Spent yesterday pureeing the contents of Sainsburys Fruit and Veg section, I just hope she likes carrots as much as Baby rice - will let you know!

Hope everyone had a good night like Cruisemum.

Cruise fu@king brilliant. Must have been something in the air. DD woke at 12 (I was still up like an idiot) then slept 'til 5!!! She then went back down 'til 6.30 but I didn't sleep again because DH woke me routing around for tablets (he had headache after too much booze!!) still, progress.Also DD was scoffed pear this evening. I've just realised I've no idea what I'm doing with weaning. I've just been slinging her bits at regular 'meal times' most of it's been smeared across the table and she wouldn't take a spoon 'til this evening. We've been giving her slices of mango for breakfast which she sucks to death. This evening I'd got some pumpkin mashed up which she took a bit of and some pureed pear which she gobbled. Not sure if you're supposed to progress to tea this quickly so she'll probably be awake all evening with a stomach ache. Think I'm going to have to do a bit of research.

evening all! Yes I felt great today . Not so much from extra sleep but because I felt there is hope!!! Mind you he has napped less than usual today and taken a while to settle for bed so I will try not to be too optimistic just in case I feel disappointed tomorrow. Bloody great feeling though! . GN and Ruth - well done starting the weaning.tbh I still find it a total mystery! ds loves all the food I have made him/given him so far and has 3 'meals' a day but I still worry about milk intake and how to balance milk and solids etc. i guess now he is 6 months officially, he can begin having protein etc.? I'll get him weighed on Thurs (his official half year birthday!) and check wth hv then. Not that they are any frigging use. We sort out more on here than they ever have! here's to a good nights sleep for all. We sure have earned it

Having pureed two tons of veg I am now considering progressing to finger food quite early. I have been reading the Baby Led Weaning threads and this sounds like it would suit my DD. She was definately chewing the babyrice gloop (I filmed it and have watched it back - sad I know!). GN - does your LO eat the finger food or just play with it? I need to make sure she actually gets some more food into her so perhaps I will give her a bit to play with after I have given her some puree, she seems keen at the minute but I worry about forcing her to eat what she does not want (oh look I have found another thing to worry about yipee )
Hope you all have a good night, keep your fingers crossed for me, DD was up 4 times last night

evening girls. Have nothing to say regarding ds (is that a first?!!!) just wanted to say hi in the break of grey's anatomy. I'm watching it from scratch on ch 5 just to see mcdreamie! If you're not a fan you don't know wthat you're missing

well done cruise on your brill night! cruise/ginger I wouldn't worry about the weaning too much it is dead easy really - pureed fruit veg or baby rice till they're 6 months then they can have anything as long as it is pureed or mashed, apart from runny eggs or honey and don't add salt or anything too spicey. I can really recommend Annabel Karmel's books, she makes it really easy. I would take your cues from you baby as to how much they want to eat and how often. ds1 was on 3 meals a day by now but I started weaning him at 4 months. lo is 5 months so I am going a bit quicker, 3 days of 1 meal a day now he is on two meals, breakfast and dinner, will step up to three meals in a few days, maybe a week, will see how keen he is. ginger, great news she is taking a spoon, do you give her one to play with as well as the one you are using?

lo seems to have got into a routine now of bed at 8, settles easily (yay!!!), bottle anytime between 11.30 and 2, bfeed approx 4 hours later then down again for a bit more sleep before morning unless fed late. annoyingly ds1 is still getting up around 3/4/5am wanting to come into our bed, the resulting fuss when we get him back into his own bed often disturbs lo, maybe he would go from the bottle feed till morning if it wasn't for ds1 . feeling absolutely shattered with it all.

also have conflicting feelings this weekend at doing so much socialising. it was nice to see our friends and good for them to know they are still important to us however not very restful and I found myself struggling to make conversation as so exhausted and they don't really understand as don't have kids themselves - all except one mum-to-be who is due to drop twins anytime now and will soon understand where I'm coming from! we had to take so much stuff with us today just for one afternoon/evening and lo was awake in the car all the way home despite doing his usual bath and bedtime routine, just had to go up and feed him again to get him down! hope he has mega-long sleep now...

just a quickie = will catch up properly later.... ds woke more or less 2 hourly again last night . i just cant figure it....

morning all
cruise on good night, for last night.
our weekend was up and down too, fri night, went out for dinner with mum, back at 10.30 then straight to bed as dd wanted feeding every 1, 2 hours. was SO exhausted sat and had to go into work, so was a bit of a zombie to say the least.
sat night was marginally better and last night was ok, not marvellous tho, went to bed at 7, woke at 9, 10 (shhed to sleep), fed at 11 put her back to bed in her own cot. woke at 1.30 for another feed, again at 3.30 and then i refused to feed her anymore until 7 this morning. she just had cuddles back to sleep.
dont know whether she's having too much 'solids' and not enough milk thru the day (i know milk is more calorific). we had a better night, sat night after having mostly milk all day (her choice) maybe its just coincidence?

ginger, how is lo after the pear?

bampa, i was with you with greys, missed the first parts on sky, so will enjoy mcdreamy again!!!

kiera - know how you feel re. friends, its been a really strange time with my closest girlfriends as i think they feel a little pushed out. i dont have the same time or energy (lack of sleep as you know!) for them atm. they have been good, but i think they may feel a little resentful sometimes... still, cant please everyone can you?

tibsy with you on the friends thing. I've found having a baby has changed the dynamics of every relationship in my life. I'm close to friends who have children but even within that category parenting style seems to be a factor with who I can relate to most. Have a friend who shouts and smacks and it makes me feel uncomfortable as both me and dh are quite chilled. Then there's a friend who follows (she who cannot be named!) religiously and I'm so far removed from that that it makes things strange too.In the friends who don't have children category they just can never understand the tiredness and as mush as i try to be as interested in the latest mac eyeshadow as i once was i just don't have the same interest!
There's also a new found respect for my parents and a new found annoyance with my mil!
anyway i could talk about this all day as the ins and outs of relationships fascinate me (spot who's dh is a psychologist!)but won't waffle on anymore. Hope you're all having a good day

tibsy - what does your dd do when you refuse to feed her in thenight? my ds would raise merry hell which is why i have to feed him - anything for a quiet life. also, how do yu get her to respond to shshing? Mine doesn't seem to tolerate any of that!

cruise, she shouts at me a bit, but as she comes in with us, she likes the cuddles and quietens really quickly. if she doesnt, i know she's bloody starving and will obviously feed her

with regard to the sshing, this is something we've worked at and by sshhing i mean either, ssh, its ok, mummy's here and stroking/ kissing her face or just stroking/kissing her. she seems to like being almost enveloped by me, s'pose it makes her feel nurtured and cootched. but she still needs me there physically as well as verbally.

still no progression in getting her to settle on her own, which i know would be half the battle. i keep trying tho.

just SO glad i'm only at work on an as and when basis atm, i couldnt do it full or even part time tbh

tibsey/cruise sorry you had such a bad night...are los using boob for comfort do you think? or am i stating the obvious here...

I find parenting style separates me from my SIL as she is a very much (she who shall not be mentioned) follower and it's not me at all. of course she is right and I am wrong...

have just scoffed a bar of Nestle Crunch (found the supermarket near where I work does them, yay!) as lo is crying upstairs AGAIN as is clearly tired but won't sleep AGAIN. he had about half an hour then woke up so got him up but still tired and cranky so half an hour later tried to put him down again. too soon to go out in buggy as need to time with ds1's pre-school. looks like may have to get him up again and put up with the crankiness [anger].

oh and cruise, did you do anything differently the night your ds slept really well, more food or something?............. or have you given up trying to fathom it out?

i mean

god i feel so sleep deprived.

kiera, please dont mention nestle crunch, left a bar in my basket at the self service desk of supermarket. didnt realise til got home. what a twit!!
you're right, i do think its comfort sometimes, so try hard to dissuade her from feeding if i can!!
sorry your lo mardy again, dd went down earlier as was exhausted but woke after 10 mins crying. to be fair tho, she's got a streaming nose, her cheeks are flaming red and eczema flared up again so cant blame her.
am off to take her for a lie down soon, think i deserve one too. (sorry kiera, i know you cant) hope the walk helps get lo to sleep