'Sleep is for the Weak' for anyone with August/Sep 06 DC's

[justJAM]

GM, Cruise and anyone else with LO's born around August/September 06' - this is a support thread for when you have no clue as to why your LO is doing the exact opposite to what they were doing last week and when you are thinking WTF????
Post on here and we shall all compare notes and comfort each other!!

kiera- am glad you had a good night and enjoyed your night out. am DYING to see hot fuzz, enjoyed sean of the dead V much so expecting more of the same humour

ginger, you're not getting any sleep cos you're having too much sex!! brazen trollop!!! we managed it every week from the week after dd was born til 2months ago [show off emoticon!!!] since then, zilch.....too chuffing tired
sorry you had a bad night hun

booby, i'm sure they have internal alarm clocks hope you manage to get some rest soon

cruise, i'm a caver in too, altho last night, held out

meant i went to bed at 10.45 with dd in arms but didnt feed her til 1.30am. big improvement. she went down at 6.30pm so probably had last feed at 6pm,
7 1/2 hrs between feeds, not bad. she did cry a little, but more of a 'gimme booby you cow kind of grumble rather than a i am starving wail'! woke again at 5.30 for a feed, then up at 6.30 for the day!

sorry that your local group wasnt too helpful, must admit, my local nct group are a bit poor, cashed my subscription cheque and i havent heard from them since!

kiera - i kicked ass last night, well metaphorically speaking! had a long chat with dp about our respective roles (actually that sounds much more sensible than it actually was!!!) about not coming home at 2.45am p**d as a fart (him, not me i might add!) and helping out over the weekend rather than falling asleep left, right and centre (again, him, not me!!)
am hopeful that things will change anyway, feel better for getting things off my chest rather than stewing on them and feeling resentful

poor ds copped it earlier in the evening too!!!

afternoon everyone. I must sound like the biggest moan ever but having another crappy day. ds been up since 6(well actually he's been up since yesterday if you read morning post!) and is refusing to have any kind of a nap..not much point now as it's nearer to bed time than anything. Hope when he gets over this cold/teething thing life goes back to normal. Being woken every 4 hours is starting to sound good because at least he had a 2 hour nap after lunch. anyway sorry for moaning. Hope you all had a good day

bampa
dont apologise for 'moaning' thats what we're here for.
my lo has developed flaming red cheeks again this afternoon so looks like we may be joining you for a bumpy ride tonight
chin up, only a few hours til bedtime, have yourself another early one if it helps

thanks tibsy

well we've had an absolute nightmare with naps today, don't know if it is 'cos lo is hungry. he's had about 5 or 6 catnaps all day, very tired, cries when put down, eventually goes to sleep only to wake 15-30 mins later apart from one stretch of about an hour in the middle of the day. it's been really stressful, I wouldn't mind if he was happy but he was obviously tired. also fed a lot too -

6am (napped till 7.30 but ds1 up )
8.30am (napped for 15 mins)
11.15am (napped for 15 mins at soft play)
Put in cot when got home, napped for an hour.
1.15pm (napped for 15? mins)
3.15pm (napped for 15? mins)
5.15pm

he had baby rice again after the 1.15 feed and wolfed it down (sorry ginger) but it will be a while before he can have enough to make a difference, until then got to keep going with it I suppose. at least he is going longer at night - for the moment.

feeling very frazzled and shattered having broken sleep last night what with ds1 as well also guilt today at not playing enough with ds1 as was so busy trying to settle lo and cook dinner, ds1 needs to have dinner on table by 6.30pm but dh is rarely home before 6pm so you can imagine the stress trying to cook, get lo to sleep or feed and a 3 year old constantly vying for attention all at the same time!

booby - would she take a bottle with dh at the 3.15am feed when more sleepy? this is how we got lo to take one, now he's more used to it. she might go through till 7 for you then. I am convinced a bottle of formula has helped my lo go longer also as if dh gives him ebm he wakes again after 2 hours, after formula its 4 hours. I wanted to ex bfeed but I need my sleep more so formula wins!

tibsey - how did dp respond?

re sex (what's that?) don't know if anyone else has had this but I had a c-section and they must have cut or bruised me somewhere sensitive as I get pain every time I orgasm and even when getting aroused also (sorry if tmi - its not the kind of thing I can talk about with people I know!). it's getting less painful but is certainly off-putting and very frustrating never got this after my previous section!

kiera sorry you've had a stressful day.

agree with you re. the formula, and although i havent had that opportunity with lo as she wont take a bottle (grrr) am sure i would if i got the choice and it meant longer sleep

dp admitted that he's been in a bit of a flunk lately with work and stuff, which i had picked up on, but sometimes we just dont seem to talk. he works late several nights then is prepping for the next day (he's a lecturer) what with that and me vegging out when lo goes to bed due to exhaustion and anticipation of another sleepless night , think we've both been a bit neglectful of each other he agreed he needs to cut back on the drinking tho so thats good. think he felt rather ill tha day after his bender and hasnt smoked since either so about that.

havent had experience with c section sorry so dont know about that, would imagine that there would be a weakness after 2 but ? dont know how that would relate to orgasm tho. do you think you're subconsciously feeling a little tense, anticipating it?

kiera - echo tibsy's sympathies with lack of naps.... I have to remind myself sometimes that in the future we will be saying to other new mums "oh my ..... was a bloody nightmare for the first ???? months, but now s/he sleeps 12 hours solid and naps twice a day.

also Kiera - ouch for the section and repercussions afterwards. I ahve only had sex once since ds was born and it was SORE!!! Felt like a virgin again (from what I can remember... and had to stop half way through. Funny thing is that I had a text book labour/birth. 4 hours start to finish, no tears or anything yet with dd 9 years ago I had an episiotomy, forceps, ventouse, 3rd degree tear, anal fissure (sorry if tmi ) and sex was fine after 8 weeks! Maybe I am getting too old?

Hi All

hope you don't mind me joining the club.

I have been meaning to ask if I can join in for a while but every time I remember LO shouts
I have met a few of you elsewhere on MN so hi!
DD is 25 weeks (today!) and a bit of a madam at times! Not sure what is wrong with her this week - she got 2 teeth last week but seems more sorry for herself this week, I can't believe the others are on the way already - I was looking forward to a couple of weeks with a happy baby

Cruise - I am exclusively bf too and find a bottle of EBM goes down better if DP does it and I am out of sight and smelling distance even then she is a bit fussy and has to be really hungry. Some of my PN friends are using cups instead of bothering to introduce a bottle, I saw a LO with one this week and she was doing really well whereas she would always scream at a bottle.

Just to make me one of the gang - one of my tears was at the front and causes me a bit of discomfort at those (rare) moments too (I suppose if we were into S&M you would be quite pleased to have these problems ). I keep meaning to talk to the Doctor but I keep wimping out . It is putting me off sex quite alot but don't want to tell DP that.
Lots of very sleepy thoughts to Babies everywhere!

ruth - you are very welcome thugh we are both happy and sorry to welcome you!

Hi all
Have no time to post lately!
Last night was ok. DS wouldn't go to sleep until 9pm then woke at 1 (a four hour stretch yay!) then we were up and down until about four from there he slept through until 7! I feel much better having the unbroken 4hrs than if I had little bits of sleep. I did want to get on mn before you all went to bed though (8am here)
Tibsy bampa and keira hope things get better tonight.
Keira no experience with c section here but can imagine it would be quite painful I have heard people mention it before so maybe no that uncommon?
I am certain that the amount of sex you have is directly related to how much sleep you get. DH has just figured this one out....

sorry welcome to ruth2007 and >cringe< for your tear poor you! I didn't have anything like that but feeling for you!

morning...feel like a new woman! got in bed with ds about 8 and he slept until 4.30am!!! when he woke for a bottle (he's 13 months so only has ff at night, know over 1 they're supposed to go onto cow's milk but he's allergic so hv said ok to keep on soya ff)and then he slept until 7.35am. can honestly say that's the best night's sleep any of us have had in over a year. If only it could be like that every night. Dh might even get lucky tonight
kiera sorry you had such a hard day. I was right there with you. welcome ruth. i'm new too and it's the best thread on mn.

now i feel like a bit of a liar about my sexlife, cos while me and dp did go to bed for sex the other day, i havent been able to do anything penetrative....hope this isnt too graphic
its been 5 months and i just feel far too frightened! my lovely homebirth turned into a 36 hr labour ending in forceps. and a couple of weeks after i got an anal fiisure, a small tear which makes bowel movements v painful!slowly getting a bit better now but its all so close it makes me nervous.
and i too find orgasm odd now,like i get contractions v mildly. is all a little frightening, and i was a very sexual perswon beforehand and now im all shy and uncertain.

kiera - glad u kicked ass!

my ds was ok last night, woke and fed 9.30, 12, 3,slept til 6. my dp thought it was a bad night cos i woke him oh no! ds awake! interrupted!

mornin' all and welcome newbies. Had an odd night. DD was very unsettled and screamed her head off going into her cot at about 7 ish. DH managed to settle her but she woke a couple of times before 11.30 and her last feed. I put her back in her cot and she woke at 12.30 and 2 when I brought her into bed because I couldn't stand a repeat of the night before. Anyway, she slept until 6.30 without feeding!! I typically didn't sleep very well as was a bit worried about her disappearing under the quilt. (Yes I'm doing it all wrong) but I know she can get through the night without feeding so my question now is, is the waking just for comfort or because she's cold? She was really snuggly in our bed. The begining bit of the night is usually OK and she sleeps in a travel cot in her own room for that and then joins us in our room at her last feed and for the night. Our room does get cold so it could be that she's genuinely chilly. Still, might try her in our bed straight away tonight see what happens.

I had two stitches following the birth and it's taken quite a long time to get back to any kind of normality, still feels a bit grazed at times. Kiera, is the pain in your abdomen? Could be muscular. Orgasms are probably a bit of an internal workout that might be putting pressure on your stomach

maebee, i think you should go easy on yourself. 5 months is not that long post birth to not be quite ready for a 'full' sex life. I was nervous too but just thought one day (about 3 months post baby)to go for it. Told Dh to just do it!..how unromantic/sexy and he wasn't sure but it was the only way i could get back into things. Like tearing a plaster off very quickly! I wouldn't go as far as to say it was enjoyable but it was certainly nowhere near as bad as i thought it would be. After that the next few times were less tender. At least you have a dp who's not pressurising you...i know someone who's dh waated full penetrative sex and anal (sorry if tmi!!)a few days after she got home from hospital..I'd have run for the hills!

hi all and a big welcome to ruth2007 re. tear, bless you honey, be brave, get to the docs, not for the sex but for you. know what you mean tho, i'm a huge wimp when it comes to the doctors, esp when something personal

cruise - hope you had a good night last night.

i've been very fortunate with both my labours, no probs, small tear with ds (12) and a few stitches, minor labial grazing this time..oooh er, what does that say about me, ha ha!!!!
must admit, given the choice atm between 8 hours sleep and a night or even 30 mins of rampant sex, the sleep wins hands down anyway, i'm getting sidetracked....

genlay- sounds like that 4 hours did you the world of good. more of the same for you tonight i hope. fingers x'd

bampa - am SOOOOOOO pleased for you. more of the same for you too, you deserve it after 13 months

maebee- it was me that kicked ass, but thank you anyway! poor you, that sounds v. painful. i suppose you just have to waitfor it to heal? lol at dp, it amazes me what they cn sleep thru, even if dd in bed with us shouting her head off, dp can be fasto, snoring his head off!

Hello ladies! I haven't posted on here for a while as things are still going well with DD. I was just popping in to see how you are getting on and am things haven't improved for some and to see that you aren't alone and that this thread is still getting new recruits.

Just wanted to add that I haven't a clue what sex is . Kiera - I too had a section, and was terrified of sex for months after it just felt too sore and is still numb at one end of my scar. DH tries to be supportive but does point out every now and again that its been nearly 18 mths since we had a proper sex life. Hadn't realised he was keeping count.....

don't let anyone tell you having your baby in bed with you is 'wrong' if that's what you want to do. Nearly every other culture in the world consider co-sleeping as the norm and I have also read alot of research on the subject. Margot sutherland (director of child mental health in london) had an interesting article in the times if you wanted any further reading.

god, that was turning into an epic.....
last night for us not TOO bad, bed at 6.45, woke briefly but shushed back to sleep at 9 and 9.30? into bed with me at 11.30 (no boob), fed at 1am then again at 5am. up for the day at 7am. hope everyone else had good nights, spring may be doing its thang!!!!

p.s kiera how are you doing today?

Maebea, I get IBS which has left me with a fissure and piles so I sympathise with the pain when going to the loo thing. Worse than the birth for me, freeking agony. I had a pretty good birth 5 hour and only gas and air although she was a big girl. 8lb 11oz and I'm only 5'1" and about 8 1/2stone so had to have a couple of stitches.

We tried quite a few times before it felt anywhere near painfree. Even now it's not like it was and I'm very cautious. We were also pretty active before hand despite being together for about 14 years It's come as a bit of a shock for both of us. I think the hardest thing is you just don't get a chance to relax if you've got a non sleeping baby because you're anticipating them waking up every 5 minutes. I recommend a) KY Jelly, it's brilliant and relieves you of hours of tiresome faffing trying to get relaxed and b) choose a time when you are pretty certain LO will be asleep and go for. The psychological hurdle is as did as the physiological one.