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sleepless of mumsnet - I'm too tired to think of a good title
249

zombiemeow · 29/01/2016 21:03

New thread Smile

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fluffikins · 29/02/2016 16:34

Do you have the link purple?

I've had people pushing the virtues of CC today at a baby group but I really don't think it's right for dd, I think she'd just react very badly to it, get inconsolable with it and I don't want to lose her trust. I'd rather wait it out for another year but if I can do more gentle methods then I'm willing to give them a go.

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Purpleboa · 29/02/2016 22:13

It's a woman called Jennie Harrison, she was recommended by a friend. She's on Facebook but has her own site too, will try to link.

Tbh I'm not sure. It all looks a bit...I dunno, earth mother airy fairy I guess! Talk of crystal healing and chakras and difficult birth memories. I'll give it a fair hearing (what have I got to lose) but it reminds me a bit of the hypno birthing book I read, the one that told me contractions should feel like 'a bit of pressure'. They bloody didn't!

It is SO hard to know what to do for the best isn't it? Especially when there are strong and well reasoned arguments for and against CC. I'm with you though, would rather avoid for now. But then I worry that I'll be leaving it too late and should really be teaching her good sleep habits now.

Was feeling all optimistic about the coming months earlier today, and hopefully being able to do more and actually have a night out. But I'm feeling hopeless again. My DD is such a boob monster, I feel like I'm going to be breastfeeding forever 😢 we have to just go cold turkey I think. But I'm dreading it!

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fluffikins · 01/03/2016 07:57

I do have quite a few friends who have said to me that 7-10 months was the worst for them and something changed at 10-11 months when the babies started eating more (or hopefully eating at all in my case) , dropped feeds and became more tired from walking. 10 months is 6-7 weeks away for us which sounds like a short time but in baby time that's quite long when I look back to the other things that have changed in the last 6-7 weeks so I'm tempted to ride it out and if nothing has changed by the time she's 10 and a half months then seriously start putting things in place.

I don't think it's ever too late to encourage better sleeping habits. I don't think there is a boat that sails now and if you miss it you'll have a 10 year old who can't sleep without you, I think you can teach this stuff whenever you need to so I think that's my plan for now - do nothing for 6-7 weeks and then reevaluate

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Pyjamaramadrama · 01/03/2016 22:54

Hi all. I found this article which I thought was quite interesting.

www.inhabitots.com/sleep-training-debunked-study-finds-genetics-play-a-large-role-in-babys-sleep-habits/

It basically says that genetics play a bigger part in night waking than any environmental factors or sleep training, but that daytime sleep can be taught more easily.

This would make sense for us where I seem to have been able to get him to self settle and nap well during the day, but nights are totally different.

It also mentions that sleeping can be taught more easily after 18 months.

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fluffikins · 10/03/2016 20:04

How is everyone?

We've had a v slight improvement going from 10, 12, 2, 4 wakings to 11/12, 2, 4. Also managed to stop feeding to sleep so I'm hoping that may help. I basically decided one night to sit her up, read her a story then hold her, she got very upset so I thought I'd employ the one thing that worked when she was tiny, white noise, and it worked a treat so have been continuing that pattern. I'll report back as to whether it helps wakings though!

Bad side is I've had some exhausting days and it's really hit me how tired I am. I'm ok doing bland dull days but any actual activity and I'm exhausted. Going back to work is going to be interesting!

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sophiaslullaby · 10/03/2016 20:35

Hi all, can I join the thread?
I have a 4month DS (FTM) who appears to have hit the 1st sleep regression and for the first time since newborn days I sat down and thought "how on EARTH do I get through this?" He's waking every 2hrs (from only twice a night), is clingy, fussy, possibly teething, only wants me (that's kinda sweet) when held by other people.
Sleep deprivied and just want to hang out with others in the same boat!
I want to try sleep training soon but no idea where to start and frankly nervous about it.

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Cathster · 10/03/2016 20:36

Good news you've managed to stop feeding to sleep fluffikins, and that you're seeing a slight improvement! Sorry you're feeling exhausted though, it's tough when you never get a full nights sleep. We swear by white noise by the way!

We have good nights and bad nights - she is settling for us earlier now, by 8pm every night without fail which is nice (apart from the night we attempted to remove the swaddle... Big mistake) and waking at 10, 12 and 4. Dreading the day she starts rolling and we have to take the swaddle off.

She's started to think that 4am is getting up time though! Left her to chat to herself in her cot last night thinking that she might just go off again, but she got annoyed no one was responding to her. We've been having to cuddle her to keep her asleep until a respectable time from 4/5 onwards.

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fluffikins · 10/03/2016 20:57

Try a gro snug, they allow you to swaddle completely or just one arm and then no arms so you can slowly transition them

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Purpleboa · 11/03/2016 22:29

Hey all. Good progress Fluff! Hope it continues.

Things are getting worse here. I have no idea why. I'm beginning to realise that they are never going to be better. If you'd told me that my almost 9 month old would still not be sleeping through and waking many times during the night, I would not have believed you.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I don't know how to fix it and I just don't know what I'm going to do. Feel so alone with this. Why is it so impossible for my DD yo just sleep through the night when it seems like every other baby her age is managing it???

Sorry, just fed up at the prospect of never getting my nights back...

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Purpleboa · 11/03/2016 22:31

Oh and I read a cheery article about how women need more sleep, and that sleep deprivation can cause heightened risk of stroke. Something else to fuel my constant anxiety. Fuck you, mother nature.

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fluffikins · 12/03/2016 08:24

I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all purple. I know quite few people whose babies are the same (all 9 months) and those that aren't have either done CC or have a lot of support from partners (my husband has never done anything in the night for dd). I'm still pinning my hopes on her getting better at 10-11 months her eating has improved a very slight amount and this reminds me that they are changing so fast even if it feels sometimes like they aren't (I'd say 7-9 months has felt like a drag!)

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fluffikins · 12/03/2016 08:28

Oh and she refused not to e fed to sleep last night so back to that, typical! But I can't stand seeing tears down her cheeks. I'm thinking my cats don't still need feeding to sleep and they probably were when they were kittens so it'll all be fine GrinWink

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starfish12 · 12/03/2016 11:54

Hi everyone. We've had some good progress here which is nothing at all I've done - agree with fluff that it's developmental. I think having a teddy between us every time I fed him in the nigjt for months has helped him grow an attachment to it as he now reaches out and cuddles it when I put him down. For us it was the last development leap which brought about the improvements. So there is hope!
He either sleeps till 4 ish and is just wide awake so I feed and rock him back to sleep which usually takes an hr and he sleeps till 7, or he sleeps thru and wakes at 5 or 6am. I never thought I'd be saying that 2 months ago...!
I think he might be outgrowing his allergy too Smile

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Cathster · 13/03/2016 03:21

Yes you're not doing anything wrong purple, I'm a strong believer in the fact that good and bad sleepers are decided from birth and this self soothing business is developmental. I'm sure you will get your nights back one day, hopefully sooner rather than later...

Awful night here, worst in a long while. I spoke too soon about things getting better! Sad waking every hour and refusing the dummy so needing rocking back to sleep which takes twenty minutes so literally getting about half an hours sleep at a time if that. Tried giving her a bottle at midnight in the hope it would settle her for longer and though she usually downs it she fussed and fussed and barely took anything.

I actually can't bear the thought of facing the day on this little sleep and so wish I could just crawl under the covers and stay there all day!

Glad to hear that you've had good progress starfish. I actually got a teddy out tonight as she fell asleep holding my hand so tried to substitute my hand for the teddy. She was not fooled! Might try keeping it with us while we feed/cuddle to see if that helps with an attachment.

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fluffikins · 13/03/2016 20:24

How are your babies with teething? My dd seems to take it remarkably well with just one upset night the night it breaks through for each tooth, but I started wondering today whether her constant bad sleep was always to do with teething and that's why I don't see any other symptoms??

She's reverted to doing the 'double wake' - waking 20-30 mins after putting her down. I don't know why!

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Purpleboa · 13/03/2016 21:03

Hey ladies! Wow Starfish that's amazing progress! You must feel like a new woman! Long may it continue...

Cathster, poor you, hope you got through the day ok.

Still very much languishing in the inner circles of non sleeping hell here! Feel your pain on the double wake Fluff. Every night now DD wakes about 30 mins to an hour after we put her down. Sometimes she'll go on to do a longer stretch, other times she'll keep waking till I take her in. Could be teething, I'm not sure. She got her first tooth early February, but nothing since then. I just don't know...

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Cathster · 14/03/2016 04:16

Still waiting for the first tooth here - hoping it appears soon as she has literally been teething for months with no sign of one! I think there are so many factors that can cause bad sleep. I'm starting to think the constant temperature change in DDs room isn't helping. The window is so bad that the heat escapes really quickly and it goes freezing, we put the heating up and then the room gets too hot... Argh!

DD refusing to be put down in cot again tonight, like your LOs is waking 20-30 mins after being put down and not settling unless we rock her.. Just can't see an end in sight and getting so envious of all the younger babies that sleep brilliantly. Literally know no one in RL who is suffering with sleep like we are!

Hope that tonight hasn't been too bad for you all.

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Crasterwaves · 14/03/2016 04:26

I'm awake with teething baby too Cathstsr and sending you a wave across the night sky one tired mum to another. I hope your baby goes to sleep v soon. I've just given ds calpol as he was crying with pain and had a temp of 39. So hope he goes off now.

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Cathster · 15/03/2016 03:59

Hope your DS settled in the end ok last night Crasterwaves. DD has been sporting a high temp all day so we have been dosing her up too. She napped loads today so knew that tonight would be another rough one! Just had to hand her off to DH as she is now wide awake and wanting to play.

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fluffikins · 15/03/2016 06:38

We're back to every 2 hour wake ups but she's easy to settle and seems to genuinely want a long feed so I'm hoping that when she starts eating more solids then these will drop

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HollyC255552 · 15/03/2016 07:05

Sorry i havent posted in a while. DD is still the same with her sleeping i'm pretty much used to it now, one day she'll surprise me i'm sure of it! (I hope). Anyway re naps, does anyone's LO nap in their cot? I'm going to give this a try again later this week, we're out the next 2 days so cant start until Thursday. They say to get them to nap in their cot you need/should stay in for about a week so you get used to the cot.Confused. That'll be hard that would drive me bonkers!

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HollyC255552 · 15/03/2016 07:06

i meant they* get used to the cot!

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Cathster · 15/03/2016 07:13

That's good your DD is at least settling easily fluff, not good about the 2 hourly wake ups though!

Holly my LO doesn't nap in her cot yet. Every time I start to think about giving it a go, something gets in the way! We end up staying in for nap time at the moment anyway as she only has 20 minute cat naps in the pram/car so when it comes to it I don't think it will be that hard to stay in. However since we've started staying in for nap times I do end up missing/rescheduling arrangements which is annoying!!

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fluffikins · 15/03/2016 07:54

Dd will only nap on me. Can't be bothered to even try with a cot

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HollyC255552 · 15/03/2016 08:12

Thats exactly how DD naps at the minute, but i want to get her out of that. Especially as she starts nursery in a month!

Cathster i know exactly what you mean DD manages 20/30 minute naps maybe 40 mins max sometimes. I thought their naps naturally lengthen around the 7 month mark?? No sign of that here at 8 months!

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