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High Needs baby support thread

834 replies

LittlePixieMa · 07/12/2015 17:49

Any of this familiar?

1 baby needs to be constantly held
2 feeds frequently during the day
3 feeds or comfort sucks through the night
4 won't sleep alone
5 HATES the pram and/or car seat
6 takes short naps
7 doesn't like being held / left with others
8 gets bored or over stimulated very quickly

Feeling exhausted and want some support from others with spirited fussy babies

If so join the club Smile

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deathb4decaf · 15/12/2015 18:10

Haha I wish! I meant I'm exhausted. See? Sleep deprivation! he's on nights at work so I'm flying solo with baby day and night! Luckily only two more night shifts to go! I do all the night wakings with baby anyway as I'm breastfeeding. Bedsharing was the only way to go for us! Dp sleeps pretty well 😒 I don't think there is a sling library but I may have to double check that. I keep thinking is it worth it, how long will she be in it if she even tolerates it! She has started almost trying to sit up today. Is it true they get better once they crawl/sit up etc? clutching at straws has anyone read the Sarah ockwell gentle sleep book? It made me accept and understand things a bit more!

Speederman · 15/12/2015 18:50

With reflux we got to 9 months with DS1 still puking 15-20 times a day and the Dr said we'd tried everything so referred us to a gastro pediatrician who did a scan which indicated reflux so he got put on strong meds when he hit 12 months (couldn't before)

At 18 months it improved and he got taken off them.

At 2.8 he started being sick daily again and eventually we went back to gastro pediatrician who did a 24 hour PH probe and diagnosed severe reflux and doubled the previous meds! We also changed his diet and he has slept better and been a lot calmer since then.

EssiesInvisibleLlama · 15/12/2015 18:53

Yes I've got the gentle sleep book, it does help make sense of everything doesn't it! So glad I read it and I made encouraged DH to read it too so he can help me fend off his Mum when she bangs on about rods and backs. Whenever she calls the first thing she asks is whether I'm putting him down for naps yet. She's obsessed. If she knew baby spent the best part of the night in my bed attached to my boob she'd disown us. They have high hopes for poor DS (eldest sons first son and all that crap) and they think I'm ruining him.

So, I have a conundrum, he's just nodded off in the sling at 6:45. Should I let him sleep and just feed him and go to bed when he wakes up? He's likely to sleep for a couple of hours at this time. We don't have a specific bedtime, it's just when he finally nods off though it's usually somewhere between 7:30-9:30pm. I'm anxious about letting him start the night now incase it means we are up at 5am! Same time though I don't want to wake him after a short time incase he's up til midnight. Argh. What to do. Perhaps I just brave it and see what happens and if its a train wreck then I know for next time?!

EssiesInvisibleLlama · 15/12/2015 18:57

oh speeder you poor things, that sounds grim. Poor little mite. A good friend has a 4yo girl with severe reflux and she had to come off all her meds recently for an endoscopy and the symptoms haven't returned. Seems all of a sudden she's just outgrown it. They've had a really tough few years with her and as a baby she basically had to be upright all the time. Glad he's improved now. How old is he now?

Speederman · 15/12/2015 18:59

I stopped co sleeping with DS1 at the end of my pregnancy with DS2 as I just couldn't sleep with him clinging right up next to me.

Since DS2 was born we've had various permutations with the aim to ensure everyone gets the most sleep and currently I share a room with DS2 in his cot (and sometimes cosleep) and DH cosleeps with DS1.

We don't shout it from the rooftops cos I don't know anyone who cosleeps but we are so shattered after 4 years of sleep deprivation that we do what works for us.

DH says that DS1 is still very sensitive to noise when he's asleep and one night in two he'll cuddle up to DH for comfort (which after 2 years of being a definite second place DH loves!)

Speederman · 15/12/2015 19:00

He's 4.3 now

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 15/12/2015 19:12

Db4D haha, I thought you meant baby caring night shifts!! Lol!!

I rarely take of the baby carrier, I can do bits around the house wth him outward facing which entertains him for a bit.

Baby Pixie started crawling at 5 months and it's def made him happier, he can get where ever he wants. Does mean I'm chasing him everywhere as he tries to climb up everything! Xx

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LittlePixieMa · 15/12/2015 19:14

Llama I wouldn't dare wake mine!!! I end up with a very moody boy..........!!

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LittlePixieMa · 15/12/2015 19:15

Haven't read Sarah ockwell I've read dr Sears fussy baby book, and Elizabeth pantleys no cry sleep solutions. I'll have a look at it

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LittlePixieMa · 15/12/2015 19:19

Where abouts is everyone from? I'm in Cambridgeshire

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EssiesInvisibleLlama · 15/12/2015 20:56

DH bloody well woke him by giving him a bristly kiss good night. He wailed for a hour and I ended up giving him some calpol cos hes so snotty and sounds like hes got a sore throat.
We're in Oxfordshire. You probably just heard him wailing from Cambridgeshire! He doesn't normally cry like that. I'm a bit scared to go to sleep. Feel like I should stay awake all night and watch over him.

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 15/12/2015 21:20

Aww poor little llama, mean daddy. Sometimes they just don't think do they, we spend our days trying to get them to sleep, or waiting for the to get tired, and the men wake them up!!

Sending you both hugs

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TesticleOfObjectivity · 15/12/2015 21:52

How annoying Llama! Bet your dh regretted that kiss lol.

Speeder that sounds terrible. My dd never vomits, it's just constant night waking with her so maybe it's not reflux in her case. I'm glad you found some medicine that helped him. Agree about keep cosleepimg quiet. I think a lot more parents do it then admit but I know from my experience when it comes up in conversation some people seem to relish telling you what a terrible thing you're creating by doing so!

TesticleOfObjectivity · 15/12/2015 21:54

Llama once my seemed to have a sore throat and she was burning hot. We took her to the gp and it turned out she had an ear infection and needed antibiotics. It was awful seeing her like that. I hope your ds is OK.

EssiesInvisibleLlama · 15/12/2015 22:33

Thanks folks. He's conked out now and been asleep on me on sofa for last hour. He's snoring and sounds like he's got a frog in his throat. If still very miserable tomorrow I'll take him to Dr.

Cosleeping is one of the most sensible decisions I ever made. It's barmy that it's so taboo. There needs to be a safe cosleeping advertising campaign.

deathb4decaf · 16/12/2015 07:14

How's everyone doing?

I was up 2.30-4 and 5-6 with a sniffy dd. I gave up trying to settle her at 6.20 and got her up! She's already scratching the back of her head and yawning! Dp is going to take her for a stroll in the pram when he gets in from his night shift!
Llamawhat sling do you use?

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LittlePixieMa · 16/12/2015 08:06
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deathb4decaf · 16/12/2015 09:09

Morning pixie hope you're not feeling too tired! I've been looking at the ergo 360 carrier, do you find it easy to use on your own? I struggled to do my other one up and just didn't bother with it. The ergo is quite pricey but to be honest I will pay anything for some relief!! I saw on the website you can use them up to 3 years so may be worth it...

Renee01 · 16/12/2015 10:17

Morning all!

Hope the sniffles pack their bags before Xmas.

I'm also looking at an ergo baby carrier, I think it's called performance. I wondered if anyone has tried it? We used to hike a lot before baby R arrived so hoping to start up again come spring. Like you Db4D I struggle to do up my current sling.

Surprisingly Pixie we are almost prepared! Can't actually believe it! I'm kind of dreading the day though as we're hosting for the first time - must be mad!

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 16/12/2015 10:19

Db4D yep easy to do up alone, the a horizontal strap on the upper back part which you can move higher up to make it easy to reach. I still get a bit achy in my hips and lower back carrying, but I think that inevitable with the hormones from breast feeding still making my joints loose.

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EssiesInvisibleLlama · 16/12/2015 12:42

Hi everyone. Well all things considered we didn't have too bad a night. He was up for a while twice and I had to give more calpol at about 4am. He sounded quite croaky and raspy in the night but seems better today. He's a bit mis but I think its reserved for me because we walked to the local shop to post some stuff and he was beaming at everyone in the shop.

Pretty much sorted for Christmas for once, I did it all online and wrapped it last week when DH was out one evening and DS wouldn't go to sleep and spent the whole evening thrashing about on his play gym next to me!

The slings I've got that I like are the kari me (great in the house, total faff to put on outside if the ground is wet or dirty though!), and a bondolino slim fit, which is great because I'm quite small. SiL in gave us a baby bjorn which DH uses but I find it uncomfortable and it doesn't really adjust small enough for me. I tried an ergo when DS was v small and couldn't get on with it but I hadn't really done any slinging at that point so I may feel differently about it now. Need to get to the sling library really.

I treated myself to a double decker at the shop. It was amazing.

Original poster
LittlePixieMa · 16/12/2015 15:06

Hey Llama,
Sounds like you had a good night! Ooh did you buy all all double deckers too? Haven't had one in years!!

Funny I bought the ergo when DS was newborn and hated it so returned it, and bought a stretchy sling. Then I rebought the ergo when he was 4 months and now love it!! They're not great for tiny babies!

Funny how they beam at others and not us some times little Sod's

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LittlePixieMa · 16/12/2015 15:12

Carriers

Just in case you guys don't know about hips in baby carriers -

www.megganmamma.com/2013/11/01/why-id-never-put-my-baby-in-a-baby-bjorn-carrier/

Some brands aren't good for supporting little limbs. I'm a yoga teacher so obsessively researched which carriers are good!!

Xx

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deathb4decaf · 16/12/2015 16:57

I'm very tempted to buy the carrier. DD is getting so heavy. I spent two hours this afternoon wheeling her around the village in her pram (I live in Gloucestershire btw) for a measly 50 min total nap time! She woke halfway round as a lady stopped me for a chat. Guess who's eyes sprang open instantly? I really hope the cat naps turn into long naps soon!
DD is currently asleep on me on the sofa (which is actually quite nice.) thanks for the link pixie.
has anyone tried using essential oils for massage/diffusing? I bought a lavender and a chamomile that I'm going to start adding to the bath I think.
Christmas should be interesting, luckily we live close to our families. If it all goes pear shaped we'll just come home. It'd be a shame though.

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LittlePixieMa · 16/12/2015 17:09

Db4D 50 mins is more than I get! A lot of walking though for get it! At least we are all keeping fit burning off all the chocolate that we're eating

This is a carrier a friend has, which also looks awesome, I quite fancy adding another to my collection! It has an extra back panel thing which is supposed to add more support

lillebaby.com/completetm-all-seasons.html

I really must start getting sorted for Xmas, so behind this year!!

I did a baby massage course with him in the hope of helping naps..... Waste of money....he's too busy to lay down for a massage. Good idea about adding lavender to a bath, let me know if it works xx

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