High Needs baby support thread

[LittlePixieMa]

Any of this familiar?

1 baby needs to be constantly held
2 feeds frequently during the day
3 feeds or comfort sucks through the night
4 won't sleep alone
5 HATES the pram and/or car seat
6 takes short naps
7 doesn't like being held / left with others
8 gets bored or over stimulated very quickly

Feeling exhausted and want some support from others with spirited fussy babies

If so join the club

ToT that's awesome, shame you didn't sleep though, Sod's law! Wow, I'd love to do a wee alone!! Haha.

Is she in your bed or a cot in your room?

Feeling much better, just tired and weak

That's good, hopefully you'll be fully better by tomorrow. So horrible breastfeeding when you feel like that. Although I imagine having to get up and make up bottles would be no fun either.

Dd sleeps in our bed. We want to start moving her to her cot again. We used to try harder to get her to stay in her cot at night but she woke constantly which meant running back and forth whereas in our bed I didn't have to move. I think if we can get her to at least start off the night in her cot that'll give me and dp some alone time and give me a break and then I won't mind moving her straight into our bed if/once she wakes at night so she can spend the rest of the night with us from then. We'll see what happens! She is still awake atm but is lying breastfeeding quietly if you ignore the random bursts of laughter.

I usually try and put ds is his crib by my bed for the first stint of sleep. He has done 4 hours in there a couple of times but rarely manages more than 2 but it encourages me that he starts the night there. After the first feed I usually make a half arsed attempt at putting him back down in there but if it doesn't work then I have him in bed with me where he settles usually and spends much of the rest of the night hanging off my nipple.

Tonight however is a total write off cos he is full of snot. It's 1am and I've had about 30 mins sleep so it's not going well! This is his second cold and the poor thing is only 15 weeks old.

Sorry to hear about the start to your night Llama. I really hope you get through it ok. It's just awful when you're up constantly isn't it? Hope baba gets well soon too.

I also put baby R in her crib by my bed for the first part of the night then move her in with me for the rest. However, for some reason I am struggling to remember now, I decided to try her in her proper cot tonight, with me sleeping on the blow up next to her. BIG mistake - she is waking constantly and we can't even co sleep on this bloody thing. Hating tonight already!

How's it going Renee? I ended up putting the diffuser thingy on and giving him some calpol and we managed to sleep 1-3am then I fed him at 3 and he's just woken again. Snot isn't as bad as earlier thankfully . I've cancelled tomorrow's plans so we can hibernate!

How was the airbed?! Hope you've had some sleep!

Mine is now 2 and I've been up since 3am. I knew I was in for trouble when he kept pulling his feeding tube out of his nose when he was 1 day old and the nurses had to Elastoplast all his exposed tubes and eye protection down onto his face, it left him with awful red sores afterwards. He'd somehow kick the bloody UV lamps away and wail like a banshee. I had not experienced this with my very docile DD.

We had no choice but to co-sleep. He hated car seats, buggies and anything that wasn't my tit basically. He would wretch and vomit if you tried a dummy or a bottle. Then he could only sleep holding my hand!

When tiny He did sleep well for one day only after seeing the cranial osteopath, and upon each visit thereafter. I don't know what she did but I was thankful.

He very much relies on cuddles for emotional support now, obviously this is just his way. It's getting better but he is very clingy to his family. Thankfully He has a sister who is one year older and she likes to give him kisses and cuddles when he's upset so I am not always default cuddler. Sometimes I find he has snook in her bed at night and they've woken up together.

Glad you got a bit of decent sleep :) my little girl has just got over a cold and strangely, one of her symptoms was sleeping for 8 hours straight! It was incredible but obviously fairly bitter sweet!

We did not have a good one at all, she fed pretty much every 90 minutes. We're up and dressed now and she is fussier than ever. You know when no matter what position you put them in they make those little effort grunts? She's doing that then eventually grizzles and cries. I feel like I haven't got it in me to deal with this today

ToO - yeah I keep meaning to get my DS into the cot for the first sleep, just such effort to get him to sleep that way, and I'm not up for the tears. Too easy to feed to sleep!!

Llama - aww bless, they get so many colds, bless, hopefully it'll clear quickly

Aww Renee, you must be sooo tired. Here's a strong coffee for you

Welcome Proton! Sounds like another clever and alert fussy baby!! How old is your LO?

I also had a dreadful night, DH snoring so loud so I kept kicking him hard, DS woke only 4/5 times but I could not sleep!! Sooo annoying!!

I think Little Pixie knows I still feel poorly, for the last few days he's let me put him in his Jumperoo watching baby Einstein on tv for an hour at a time. This is very unusually behaviour, and I feel so bad he watching TV. I'm normally so strict about no tv......... Feel like a bad mama

Don't be silly pixie! It won't do him any harm to watch aa bit of TV. Now my periods are back I usually have a couple of days where dd watches a lot of TV and we don't do much. I don't beat myself up about it because we do a lot the rest of the time.

In other news, some nights in bed dd winds up sleeping ON TOP OF MY NECK. I spent the whole night last night dreaming that I couldn't breathe and woke up this morning with my throat killing me and feeling breathless. Ikept half waking throughout the night but not enough to move dd off me. I am actually feeling scared I could die in my sleep from it... Could I?

Llama every time my dd gets a stuffed nose she gets a new tooth soon after. I've realised it's a part of her teething cycle. Best things we've found are those saline drops or spray up the nose, snot suckers up the nose (dd hates things being put up her nose so that's always fun...!), vapour oil on the bed and pillows and if your LO will use a dummy you can buy dummies specially made with a section to put the vapour oil in so they can inhale it that way.

ToO that's made me chuckle, sorry!! I'm sure that we must have a reflex to wake us if we can't breath, I'm sure you'd wake up and remove you LO. Doesn't sound at all comfortable for either of you?!!

I can't believe there are other people out there like my dd with the no sleeping and even the trying to stand from a young age. Mine has turned out to be a fairly early talker so I wonder if yours will too! I wish I'd known about this high needs stuff a year ago!

Pixie dd seems very comfortable there! I don't know I'd have thought oif have a reflex too but it seemed like I didn't last night. Maybe it didn't go on for as
Long as it felt but I tell you my throat still is croaky when I breathe!

ToO when did your Dd start walking and talking? Shame that high needs babies aren't more known about, I spend ages googling for the first month as DS wasn't like any other baby, thought I was losing it!! Dr Sears website saved me!!

HV should really be in the know, but they've no clue at all. I still get told to put him in his cot drowsy but awake, and that I've made a rod.......

Hi everyone
I had a high needs baby (DS1 - he's now 4.3!). Pretty much as OP - couldn't put him down, screamed in the cot/pram/bouncy chair/changing mat...turned out he had severe reflux which he is still being treated for today.

He didn't sleep through until he was 3 and even now he has a lot of nightmares and night terrors. I just wish I'd given up earlier and co-slept with him. I lost so much sleep trying to get him to sleep in his cot and in his room.

However, he is the most loving and rewarding child ever! He is always giving us hugs and kisses and snuggling up to us. Far more than DS2 (although DS2 cries less, doesn't throw up and is a better sleeper though still wakes up loads so swings and roundabouts )

DS1 started walking at 10 months, and he now he talks all day long and is curious about everything (currently, why we can't see the planet venus in the daytime and why the moon moves).

He was a lot of hard work in the early years, and to be fair is still quite hard work but he is very very rewarding.

Hang in there, it does get a lot easier.

We found that by the time DS2 arrived, DS1 had gotten so much easier, that DS2 added no extra work to how it'd been with just DS1.

Also, the love that DS1 had for me in the early days (anyone else find that the high needs baby only wants mummy?! I was dead on my feet!) has now been multiplied out to daddy, grandparents and his little brother. It is soooo sweet how much he loves his little brother.

Welcome speeder
So good hearing of what's ahead!! Your little one sounds just fab, and very intelligent! Astronomer or scientist in the making?!!

Do you still co sleep?

My DS wants me all the time! It's awesome and I love it, but very draining! He screams with his grandparents, but getting much better with with papa thankfully!

My DS started crawling at 5 months, but that isn't good enough for him. He's now 6 months and I have to hold his hands so he can walk everywhere.

These high needs little ones seem uber intelligent, and think they are older than they are!

Here's the back of my little trooper, being such a star while I rest up

Speeder, how was the reflux diagnosed? Do they run tests for it?

Pixie - I can't think of dad's exact age for walking. I think she started pushing herself to stand and bearing her own weight at a very young age but was actually about 1 when she started properly walking unaided. As for talking she is learning more and more words by the day and she has a really goos understanding of instructions. It's hard to pinpoint as they learn more and more by the day. By the second it feels like.

Like the pic btw! Aww what an angel.

Awww cute pic, I note the obligatory sophie le giraffe nearby!

Well I'm trashed. About 3 hours sleep last night due to snot, though he seems ok-ish today, bit grotty but not too bad. He fell asleep in the buggy earlier while it was stationery, unheard of, and frankly must be because he is sick and ultra tired! That is the first time he has ever fallen asleep without movement or boob. It then took me about 60 mins of trudging around the house with him in the sling to get him to snooze over lunchtime though!

Hopefully tonight will be better and we'll get some kip. DH is out tonight so I'm on my own. Microwave meal is at the ready and I've laid everything out on the side table by the sofa that I might need during the evening so if he falls asleep on me I don't have to risk moving!

He's desperate to roll over and getting really cross when it doesn't work. Poor thing.

Welcome Speeder good to hear it gets easier! In fairness it is easier already but thats possibly because I've sussed him out and given in to it!

Hi speeder! It's so good to hear some positive stories for the future.

Pixie, your boy looks adorable! So nice that he's sensing your need for a smidgen of time off.

And Llama, I really hope you have a better night. Love the prep going into the evening! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

After a very strong coffee and a distress call sent out to my mum, we had a better day. And after some serious grizzling just now, baby has finally dropped off on my shoulder. Just wish my phone wasn't on 8%!!

I think my dd (5 mo) is high needs. She's my first so nothing to compare to! She's so different to my friend's babies. She hates strangers, wants to be held (by me) constantly but at the same time wriggles and twists away from me as if to say 'LET ME CRAWL!' Oh also I have to stand up when holding her, I'm not allowed to sit down! She is hyperactive, screamy, hates the car seat but quite likes the pram luckily. I always think she seems frustrated with herself. Day time naps are currently the bain of my life, she finds it so hard to settle even with me rocking/singing/jigging/feeding and white noise! She won't entertain the cot for naps any more (used to go in there for 30 min naps) but will go in at night for the first bit then ends up in with me for the rest of the night. My dp is on nights at the moment so feeling quite exhausted! What sling do you all have? I have a caboo but haven't ever got on with it but she's getting on for 15lb now and I don't know how I'm gona cope! 😩

Welcome to our tribe Db4D you've trained you OH well yo get him on night duty!! My just snores really loud all night which pisses me off

I used to used a stretchy sling (boba), but now he's bigger I've an ergo 360, so depending on what mood he's in I can face him in or out (360 is one of the few that support the babies spine and hips correctly for outward facing)

Is there a sling library near you?

Llama yeah what is it with Sophie?! Why do we all have one? DS seems to have fallen out with her, I keep leaving her for him but he just blanks her now another waste of money on things to help pacify him