High Needs baby support thread

[LittlePixieMa]

Any of this familiar?

1 baby needs to be constantly held
2 feeds frequently during the day
3 feeds or comfort sucks through the night
4 won't sleep alone
5 HATES the pram and/or car seat
6 takes short naps
7 doesn't like being held / left with others
8 gets bored or over stimulated very quickly

Feeling exhausted and want some support from others with spirited fussy babies

If so join the club

sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/30/self-settling-what-really-happens-when-you-teach-a-baby-to-self-soothe-to-sleep/

Hey de hey!!

Physically introducing solids doesn't really change their sleeping anyway. They've a short sleep cycle do when they lightly rouse they find it hard to fall back to sleep. No amount of food with change that, just time.

They'll all get there, and at least they'll have a positive view of sleep as we are nurturing all of their needs now.

I'd never do CC or CIO, and from what I've read it doesn't work on high needs babies as they just cry harder and harder......

Shadow - we're not gonna anywhere this Xmas, chilling out at home. My parents were trying to get me over but I've refused. He'll only co sleep which would mean me in bed while everyone else eats and drinks. My Mum is not happy about it!

Aww, poor you llama, and poor little llama. So many bugs going around, grrrrrrr. Must try to use the buggy a bit when he's happy to see what happens......

Thanks for the link Db4D will check it out.

I'm currently on the bed with boob in his mouth!

Db4d I've got that book, its great isn't it. I was so relieved when I read it, everything started to make perfect sense!

I'm a bit apprehensive about Christmas too. We are at the inlaws and they think we should have done sleep training by now cos my SiL did CC with hers as soon as they hit 12 weeks and they've slept through ever since (they are 3 and 6yo now). There is absolutely no way I'll do CIO or CC, and DH is supportive and wants to allow things to develop naturally too. I think the buggy sleep progress this week has helped him to appreciate it is all developmental anyway, so all being well when his DM tries to ambush me about it all DH will back me up. Evenings are a bit low key in our house at the mo, I generally sling DS for the first bit of the night then feed him and transfer him to his crib when I go to bed, then after the first wake up we cosleep. Not sure how that will work at the inlaws but I may just have to go to bed early. They won't be very happy but its that or we don't go at all so they'll have to lump it! I'll threaten to go home if they try and bully me!

little llama does seem happier today, still coughing and snotty but definitely jollier than he has been for the last few days. I'm sneezing like mad though...

How was everyone's night? We did fine until 3am and then it went down hill. Not complaint though 3 am is a bonus!!

Llama - spout out a load of research into how detrimental cry it out is if they harp on about it!! That's good DH will back you up. How are you today, hope you haven't got the lurgy.....

Morning everyone,

Had an ok night! DD went 7-9 in her cot then in with me, I think she fed through the night, didn't disturb me though! Woke at 5.30 and we got up at 6.
llama keep saying 'we'll have to agree to disagree won't we!' Really cheerfully 😁
pixie I ordered the ergo 360 and it came yesterday. DD is asleep in it for the second time today! (Christmas miracle?!!!) do you manage to feed your ds in it? I've managed it but it was slightly awkward!

Db4d - sounds like you had a good night! How do you transfer into the cot?! I can't get DS to stay asleep!!

Woohoo! The ergo is awesome!! I hair about manage to feed in it, I lengthen one strap, but end up holding his forehead with one hand to stop him being smothered by my boob which is stupid as I've the smallest boobs ever, just paranoid

She definitely doesn't go in 'drowsy but awake' ! I do all the things the experts advise against. 😳 feed her to sleep, alternate feeding/holding til she's in a deep sleep then I lower her and pretty much myself in to the cot, keeping contact with her (like literally cheek to cheek) until I can slide myself away. I keep one hand on her chest and if she cries I pick her straight up! I do the feed etc with her already in her sleeping bag so it's warm when I put her down. She goes in a sleepyhead, we got it when she was about 6 weeks when she wouldn't sleep in the cot. Definitely think that helps her feel more secure. I've no idea how she manages to sleep in there for 2,3 sometimes 4 hours at night but won't in the day. I've completely blacked out the room too, have you tried that?
How's everyones day been?

Must try that. I'd given up trying the cot, so he sleeps in the sling, then I go to bed with him, he briefly wakes when I take him out of it, so I shove a boob in! He never seems to get into a deep sleep, always twitchy, never limp limbed. Maybe I should try feeding to sleep in my arms, rather than lying down. I've tried to scoop him up and then put him in the cot, but that always fails, or he sleeps in it for a whole 2 minutes!!

Good day here, tesco shop which wasn't too painful. DS in ergo with boob in mouth all the way around, kept him quiet!!

Very difficult day here 😴 DD hardly napped! Pixie How are you able to bf in your ergo? That's awesome, I wish I would be able to but I really struggle with feeding positions due to my annoyingly big boobs!

Pixie you are amazing bfing in sling whilst doing the grocery shop. I can bf in my sling but I have to sit down.

Last night was ok til 4am then he had a snotty coughy meltdown for 2 hours however he's seemed better today. We are now at inlaws. I'm in bed feeding baby. MiL is appalled that ds is not in his own room. She thinks DH and I will ruin our marriage by being in separate rooms. I did point out it means we all sleep and lack of sleep is more likely to ruin our relationship! Anyway. Not going to let it annoy me. DS did quite well on the journey up here as it's several hours. He slept for most of it only waking up in gridlocked traffic where I scooped him out of car seat and fed him back to sleep all while we were stationary in traffic jam. Not sure on laws surrounding bfing on the M42 but we weren't moving and he would have been hysterical quite quickly if I hadn't.

Db4d I use that technique for cot transfer too lol, doesn't always work but I will persevere much like the buggy naps!

Hope everyone has a good night!

Morning everyone!

Hope you're all doing ok.
DD woke after an hour and a half last night, then at 1, then wide awake 3.30-4.30. FOUR nappy explosions in that hour, so I'm thinking the Thai green curry I had last night didn't agree with her! Sorry tmi
shadow does your DD sleep in pram or car seat at all?
llama how did your DS get on last night?
pixie I hope I can get to the point soon where I can feed DD round tesco, I think I'd make myself into a bit of a spectacle at the moment lol

Shadow I've had the ergo since he was 3 months, he's now 6.5 mo and I've only managed to feed in it the last week! I lengthen on strap a lot so he's a bit lower in it. Have to hold his forehead so he doesn't get crushed by my boob! Not easy really!!

Llama how have the inlaws been today? Hope it's not too stressful for you..... Sending hugs your way xx

Db4d - haha, 4 explosions in an hour!! Very impressive!!

Hope you all have an awesome night!!
Xx

Me and my 4 month old joining in. Car and pram are killers. All day naps in sling which is getting more and more painful. Evenings spent on boob/lap. Otherwise delightful!

Only just got ds into bed tonight. He is very excited by all the new faces today. I told him I've cancelled father Christmas but he doesn't give a shit. Last night was ok til 4am when he realised we weren't at home and wanted to party! Hoping tonight will be better. Usually if he goes to bed late he does tend to sleep well! Bet I've jinxed it now!

Merry Christmas people! Xx

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Welcome Yarpyarp! Xx

Merry Christmas everyone!

Welcome yarp

DD is doing ok at my parents and didn't find it too unsettling over night. Boxing Day at inlaws may be a different story! As predicted I was up at 4.30am dealing with the (luckily just one) nappy explosion. I'm hoping this habit might change when we introduce a bit of solid food?!
DD's great gran was shocked I haven't given her any solids yet and apparently I should give her mashed potato and gravy

Hope everyone has had a lovely day. I'm full of snot and very hoarse. MiL is being a bit of a pain in the arse. She just tried to make me leave ds crying in his cot so I could go and have cheese and biscuits with everyone else. Obviously I am in bed with him on my boob while they all eat cheese and biscuits without me. I've already been ambushed by her about slinging him and how I'm making a rod for my own back, he'll never learn to sleep in his cot, I'm doing permanent damage to my spine etc. I can't wait to go home tomorrow and I will never be leaving her to babysit him. Grrrr.

Db4d hope today's not too painful!! What is it with everyone pushing for babies to be on solids so quickly?!!

Llama hope you're not feeling too poorly. Grrr to the MIL, so annoying when people don't respect our decisions.

Bad night last night, DS up 10 times, painful trapped wind. Think I ate too much crap food!!!

How's everyone doing?

llama I bet you were so glad to escape the mil! Hope you've had time to recover!
Is baby pixie feeling better?
I think we might have turned a corner with DD, she let people hold her without screaming! She smiled and giggled! Don't get me wrong she had her moments, but she did so well.
We're home now and we've got guests coming this afternoon, really not in the mood! been up since 4.30, dp in bed with a horrible cold... I need a lie down!! Xx

Db4d how did it go with visitors? Sorry you've got lurgy in your house too. I still feel shite and DH has a cold and ds isn't 100% wish we could shake off the germs. So glad to be home though. Great news your dd let people hold her though and was happy! Progress here too. DS had a 1.5 hour nap in buggy today while we were out walking. Did wake up the moment we got home but it didn't matter as he'd been asleep for yonks by then anyway. Last few nights have been grim though. He's been in with me all night and feeding every 1.5 hours. I used to be able to put him down in crib next to my bed for the first part of the night and get 4 hours sleep on my own til the cluster feeding began but I'm not getting that now.

Thanks for the welcomes

Mixed bag to report on here. After a couple of days of getting breathed on, kissed, prodded and cajoled by relatives, she's ill. So fell asleep in the pram for 2.5 hrs which has never ever happened before (only slept twice in pram EVER!), but then was countered by a shocking night last night. So just muddling through today. Routine, if ever we had one,is up the wall. Feel like there's not a drop of milk left in me!

Does anyone use a dummy? Is 4 months too late to introduce one?

We haven't used one to date but I am thinking that maybe it might work in the car - journeys are getting worse rather than better. Tried different positions in car/white noise/songs/toys/patting/ignoring/ hood on/off, but it's bad,really really bad. Will try dummy next I think and then might just give up

Hope you all have a good day!

About the put the bloody sling on AGAIN!

Yarp, my DS is 4 months and has, in the last fortnight suddenly gotten better in the car, and previously like you it was baaaaaaad and I was at the point where I was afraid to even do a 10 min journey cos he'd be hysterical at the other end and struggling to breathe, puking, shaking, horrible horrible. He's suddenly just got better. He still has the odd meltdown but the last 2 weeks have been tons easier with car journeys and we did a 2.5 hour journey to the rellies at Christmas and survived and are doing another 4 hour one over new year to visit my family. A month ago I wouldn't have dared! Hang in there!

Oh and I've had the sling on 5 seperate times today. I feel your pain!

Hey everyone!!

We all survived Christmas!! Woohoo!!

Very sleepy here my little menace boy is waking up 8 + times a night!! Surprised I've got any nipples left!

Yarp it's never to late to try a dummy. My DS has always refused them, but I keep trying, in the hope my nipple will get a break!!
*
Llama* you're a pro at buggy naps now! You inspired me so I took DS out in it today, when he was awake. He looked very moody, but didn't cry. My plan is to take him out once a day to see if he gets used to it.

I asked my Mum to get him clothes for Xmas in a size too big, as we've plenty in the right size. She bought Xmas jumpers..... In 3 months when he fits them it won't be Xmas.... Derr...!!