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the no-cry sleep solution

677 replies

iris66 · 20/09/2006 20:25

has anyone tried it? (book by Elizabeth Pantley) I'm on day 2 & looking for a bit of support as I know it's going to take time. I'm dying through sleep depravation with 8mth DS who bfs to sleep but is very very tricky to move so have been cosleeping whilst he fidgets & kicks all night(and power naps during the day)
Think this is the last chance saloon before ear plugs & leaving him to get hysterical (even though I know that won't happen - i just couldn't, he really does do the whole temper, then sad then hysteria/shaking/terror/I've been abandoned thing - even if DH goes to him - such a mummy's boy)
Anyway, please post if you've been successful with this [hopeful emoticon]

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Difers · 04/10/2006 20:38

Hi all,

I got the Baby whisperer book first, but it's not for me because it can involve picking baby up and putting baby down lots before it works and physically I can't do that. It also suggests other people help and I don't have that kind of help. DH not into nights and sleeps in another room.

I do sleep log times in the dark on a scrap of paper and then transfer to neat page next day.

Sleep wellXX

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sweetkitty · 04/10/2006 21:14

She was grizzling all through dinner and bathtime and went to sleep after a feed at 7.30pm, out for the count now we will see what the night brings.

No afternoon nap even when I took them out in the pram for a walk for 40 minutes. At least we got loads of fresh air.

Wishing us all a peaceful night xx

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BikeBug · 04/10/2006 21:35

I hope everyone is having a good evening / night so far...
Ds has just dropped off after just over an hour of bouncing, giggling, clawing mummy's nose, trying to stand up in the cot, being fed, cuddled, carried, stroked... I'm not sure how this looks as an evening routine, but it's pretty typical. But we're not feeding to sleep any more
The thing about needing a swimming pool for before bedtime exercise - soooo true. Pending my big lottery win (still waiting...), why aren't water babies classes at 7pm?

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iris66 · 05/10/2006 08:42

moljam - I don't use music during the day but I've used it since birth at night. I use "Music for Reiki Healing" by Llewellyn - purely as he seemed to "relax" when I played it when I was pg.
I co-sleep too, more often than not. I wasn't exactly planning it & he went into his cot in his own room at 4 months (or thereabouts) but it seems to have panned out that he sleeps better with me now.
God knows how I'm going to get him to sleep in his cot all night but for now I'm just focussing on him sleeping - anywhere

Difers - I don't think I'm going to do the PUPD as he's just getting too heavy & it kills my back just doing it when he has a bad night before 10 (I'm short & he can stand up so the cot base is on the lowest setting.)

Bikebug - pool would be fab here too (so any spare on the lottery win.... )

Sweetkitty - hope your night went well. It sounds like you got off to a good start. I'm sure I read somewhere that babies who get an hour of fresh air each day sleep better at night.

DS was awake every 30 minutes or so from 7.15 'til 10 when I took him to bed with me (plans for a relaxing bath went out the window & DH was banished to DS's room again!) but he was reasonably well settled & only woke fully a couple of times needing to latch on until 7.30 this morning - I feel quite refreshed!

Has anyone had any success with introducing a "lovey"? The knotted belt of my dressing gown is still going strong & I've been trying to give him that first when he stirs in the night (only when he's in with me though) it seemed to keep him happy for an extra 1/2 hour this morning. I may unravel it, cut it in half & make two so I've got an emergency spare before he gets too used to it's size.

Anyway - onwards & upwards. I'd better get dressed & do something!! good luck for long naps all

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danceswithbaby · 05/10/2006 09:05

Moljam, the slumber bear is a bear aimed at newborns. You attach it to the crib and any sound/movement they make triggers it to play a 5 minute recording of sounds taken from the womb. I think it works better than white or pink noise. The 5 minute limit was annoying which is why we've made it loop.

Longer day naps seem to have made it harder to get ds down at night. Went through bedtime routine as usual but she was still looking perky. Eventually dh was reduced to running up and down the stairs with dd waggling her little legs and practicing "BWUH" sounds. Would have been hysterical if I hadn't been so knackered.

She got there in the end and she actually threw in a couple of 2 hour stints, followed by the obligatory suckathon and a couple of 75 minute stints. A very marginal improvement, so maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel after all.

Glad some of you had better nights.

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sweetkitty · 05/10/2006 12:46

Well it was a blip, last night went like this:

7.30pm out like a light
11pm woke up BF back to sleep (tried the shhing patting on the back etc but was so tired I caved in)
1am BF back to sleep
3am BF back to sleep
4am BF back to sleep
6am she got up just after DP and never went back to sleep had a bit of a BF and lay and giggled, DD1 woke at just before 7 too (unlike her) so all in all I'm feeling like a bag of crap today coupled with DD1 regressing with her toilet training (last count 5 pees, 1 poo on the floor)!

Have tried introducing a comforter but she's not for having it so far, have also tried muslin soaked in BM too.

Anyway I'm off for some lunch now.

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moljam · 05/10/2006 15:50

thankyou,i recieved email from ncss.very helpful hints,will defiantly be buying book!no nap this morning until i paid £2 for baby lunch group and he slept whole way through,never mind had gossip with other mums.i feel a little calmer today,yesterday i feel i was close to desperate!thankyou.so you dont feel slumber bear would suit 9 month old?we used sounds of nature cd lastnight and tried for nap this morning!

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danceswithbaby · 05/10/2006 16:25

Dunno about slumber bear sound for a 9 month old. It's thought that they don't even start to recover from womb loss until 9 months, so it might. It's a nice soothing sound anyway. I'm happy to e-mail it to you if you want a listen.

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danceswithbaby · 05/10/2006 16:55

Moljam, I can't actually think of a good way to e-mail the slumber-bear sounds to you without making e-mail adress public. There is a website called www.motherandbabymusic.com which seems to be based on womb/heartbeat sounds. The demo sounds pretty good. It's about £9.99 a cd. If I could e-mail you mine you could have it for nothing!

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BikeBug · 05/10/2006 17:23

sweetkitty - must have been something in the air last night, it was a so-n-so of a night for us too - between loosing his covers (so getting cold and waking up twice), being hungry (so waking up twice) and being full of wind from all the eating (so waking up once, but very loudly) we thought we'd had the worst of the night, but then come 5 am he thought it was daytime. Poor dh had to get up and go to work at 6, so we were sitting up in bed protecting our cups of tea from a very lively baby at 5.30 this morning....
Iris - I've tried to introduce his mothercare rabbit as a lovey (because I like it ) but he doesn't seem interested. Maybe I just picked the wrong thing?

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iris66 · 05/10/2006 18:00

Bikebug - I tried EBM soaked muslins and a commercial style comforter/mini blanket thing before giving him the belt from my dressing gown (I shove it in between my boobs for a bit each evening & put it between us whilst he has his last feed) I think he only likes it (and I use that word loosely!) because he's been used to feeling the material since birth every night.

moljam - I think I need to take a leaf out of your book - I'd given up going to mums & babies as it coincided with his nap times (not that I've become obsessed with getting him to sleep or anything ) Daytime socialising has been virtually non existant for weeks. Note to self....

Sweetkitty - Aw honey - you must be knackered However.... 7.30-11.00? Progress?!

tomorrow is another day

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Difers · 05/10/2006 20:03

Bikebug - Have you tried Grobags?? www.grobags.co.uk though jojomamanbebe have some nice ones too. They can't get out of em so stay warm all night.

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Difers · 05/10/2006 20:05

Bikebug - You can pick em up second hand on ebay too! I got my third one for £6 and it's lovely!

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cheekymummy · 05/10/2006 22:45

Sweetkitty - thanks so much for telling me about this thread - it's fantastic !!

Hello everyone, I can't believe how many of us are singing from the same song sheet, I really thought I was the only one (or so my health visitor made me feel). So I am not such a bad mum after all !! I hope you don't mind me joining in with you all. I have an 8 month old DS who really is a cutie during the day and turns into something else during the night !! As it hapens the last two nights haven't been as bad as usual but I'm not holding my breath. I am still breast feeding him and he seems to only go to sleep whilst feeding and through shere exhaustion - but it looks like many of us have the same problem. And then he too wakes between 4 and 6 times during the night - great isn't it. I hope you all have a good night with your little ones fast asleep.

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bottomburp · 05/10/2006 23:46

sweetkitty-thanks for rec this thread to cheeky, i feel so much better reading everyones messages, i hope its ok to share my experiences....
DD is 6mths old and from being 4wks old and discovering the grobag slept from 8pm to 4am,quick feed (am BFg) then asleep until 7am.then 6wks ago we moved house, went on a wk hols 2days laterand she caught a cold, since then we are on:slepp between 7and 8pm, wake at midnight then every hour after, needs BFg to go bk to sleep and usually around 5am wide awake in a grumpy mood.as you can see from late hour of this thread i just cant go to bed early.is a v.bad habit from before being a mum where i used to read/bake til 1am and then sleep.now tend to go to bed after midnight waking.

for daytime naps i have a BRILLIANT cd from putumayo music called dreamtime lullabies and soothing songs, s'one bought it for me when she was 1day old and we have always played it if she gets a bit hyper, it works well on adults too.

i have just bought a kaloo comforter to try her with that at night but in meantime someone gave us the big blue dog from ELC that hangs over cotside,its head detaches and when i unlatch her and put her in the cot she squashes her face onto it, i think i8t must feel like a big booby!

i have done the sleep hygiene thingy where her cot has nothing in it apart from booby dogs head so all very unstimulating, i take her mobile down(think that defo helped) and make sure the bit of bedroom she can see from her cot is tidy!

but at end of day am sad that nights are so horrid, how can i love her so much when she makes me feel like death very lightly warmed up?

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danceswithbaby · 06/10/2006 10:00

Feel like I have been dead & dug up. After the 6th waking before midnight I stopped counting.

She did this wierd thing sometime during the night where she sat up, started crawling down the bed, keeled over, face planted then snoozed in that position for 10 mins. Do you think she's sleep crawling?

Going to take her swimming again then join her for a nap. It'd better be a long one.

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moljam · 06/10/2006 10:31

last night was bed at 6.30(he couldnt wait any longer)but up at 8,9 ,11,1,3 and then 7!he had suck of bottle and thats it!put cd on each time he woke ,dont know if it'll work or hes just knackered!this mornings nap was 5 minutes on my chest!is putiing my email adress on here not safe?ive put it on selling and buying bit before?

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moljam · 06/10/2006 10:34

just rembered,forgot to say hes defiantly teething so could explain lack of sleep poor monkey,poor mummy!

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Lucy1977 · 06/10/2006 10:57

Hi ladies

Wow, there are so many of us with babies that wake so frequently during the night. I thought DD was in the minority as all my friends with babies have had them sleeping through since about 6-8 wks (well I know they could just be saying that but they're always full of energy and out and about at 9am whereas I'm still in PJs thinking when can I catch up with some sleep!).

I haven't read anything about the No Cry Sleep Solution but is it like Controlled Crying but where you're not letting baby cry it out?
We're trying CC but I can't bear to hear DD cry for extended periods so end up going into her very often.

I am trying to stop the night time breastfeeds as I feel confident DD (8 months) is not hungry but just looking for comfort. Is the NCSS one way of achieving this?

Thanks for any advice

Lucy

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bottomburp · 06/10/2006 11:11

the only thing that helped a teeny bit was going swimming in the late afternoon cos if swim in the morning effect has worn off by night

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sweetkitty · 06/10/2006 12:08

hi newbies would say welcome but if your on this thread you are probably at your wits end. Well we had a great night last night - not!

Had our usual night routine last BF at 7.30pm, took her up to her cot and she wouldn't go to sleep was crawling all over the place. Lay with her until 9 when I wanted to go and do other things so brought her back downstairs (I know bad Mummy but I need to do things at night and can't leave her in her cot as she'll scream and wake DD1). Took her back up at 10 another feed and still no sleep, about 11 she did fall asleep minus boob but on my arm, 30 mins and a dead arm later tried to move her and you guessed it she woke up, another 30 mins of shhing and I gave in and gave her a feed just so I could get some sleep.

1am woke BF
4am woke BF
6am woke BF (these are approx don't clock watch)
8.30am woke up for the day

Think last night was because she had a 2 1/2 hour nap in the day so wasn't tired at night. NCSS is waiting at the PO for me but to be honest after reading everything on here I think the plan will be: decorate her room, put her cot in there and do the whole cold turkey thing, no BFs are 7.30pm probably in about a month. It's a shame as I love BFing and cosleeping but it's just getting too much. Either that or DP will be in the spare room as he's fed up getting kung-fu kicked in the night.

Compare this to DD1 who came back from toddlers and asked to go to bed (gets this from me).

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iris66 · 06/10/2006 14:04

Hi there all & welcome to the newbies (sorry you had to join us though)there's obviously something in the air

Hideous night last night - not helped that DS's gums either side of his top teeth are all red (oh the joy of more teething on top of this ) The past 2 nights he's been bf so much that he's less hungry during the day now too so I'm rapidly getting stuck between a rock & a hard place.

Sweetkitty - I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm going to have to go cold turkey too. DH is away until Tue & we've got DS's naming day in a fortnight so I may have a chat when he gets back & see whether he fancies doing it before or after. I've a lump in my throat just thinking about it as I know it's going to be really really hard but I'm just sooo bloody tired all the time

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moljam · 06/10/2006 14:21

ds just had hour and half nap in pushchair as was suggested in email from ncss!i fell asleep on floor!it suggested to get naps in pushchair then gradually to cot or bed,how would i do this?i get the gradually moving pushchair out of room but what then?he has a comfort toy which is a little cow,he holds its hand or tail when dropping off!at the moment just having a nap is fab!

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sweetkitty · 06/10/2006 14:57

Iris - I'm just going cold turkey from the BFing and whilst we are at it I thought it would be a good time to get her into her own room (a kind of double whammy) either DP or I will sleep on the floor next to her cot and comfort her when she cries so she is never left by herself. Kind of like PU/PD baby whisperer probably pick up to start with then gradually stop picking her up. My rationale is once she realises theres no boob theres no point in waking up. Going to be hard going but worth it in the end (keep telling myself that anyway). DP is going to take a week off work when we do it so that whoever has been on night shift can have a nap in the afternoon.

I'm trying to introduce a toy to DD2 as well not working so far

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happygolucky22 · 06/10/2006 15:28

hey my dd pretty much took herself of breast feeding once i went back to work and she stared having bottles, it took a couple of months for her to do it but i just gradually replaced her bf with bottles and she was away,sleeps through the night now most nights from 8 till 8 its so nice. i also found that only giving her water at night instead of milk helped no ends. hope this helped a bit.

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