the no-cry sleep solution

[iris66]

has anyone tried it? (book by Elizabeth Pantley) I'm on day 2 & looking for a bit of support as I know it's going to take time. I'm dying through sleep depravation with 8mth DS who bfs to sleep but is very very tricky to move so have been cosleeping whilst he fidgets & kicks all night(and power naps during the day)
Think this is the last chance saloon before ear plugs & leaving him to get hysterical (even though I know that won't happen - i just couldn't, he really does do the whole temper, then sad then hysteria/shaking/terror/I've been abandoned thing - even if DH goes to him - such a mummy's boy)
Anyway, please post if you've been successful with this [hopeful emoticon]

[iris66]

happygolucky22 - thanks for the advice but unfortunately DS will only drink water from a bottle/cup. He's never accepted formula (and believe me I've tried!)and I've always struggled to express any amount worth having (even worse now I'm feeding all night too!)

Sweetkitty - should have clarified (sorry)- just aiming to go cold turkey on the co-sleeping/night bf thing. I've tried water but he can smell the milk so it doesn't work. DH is going to have to settle him at night after I've put him down & stay with him (similar thing to you. Trouble is that, as it's always been me going to him at night, the last time we tried it he was hysterical so I gave up after 2 nights.

I have a sneaking suspicion that DS will give me a couple of good nights so I'll change my mind & carry on as we are....

[momomama]

I've been 'away' for a couple of days and came back expecting everyone to have made loads of progress (and to feeling extremely jealous) but it seems we're all in the same boat. I had a couple of days off NCSS and tried to just chill out, get as much sleep as possible and not think about it too much. I'd recommend it!
I'm basically going to start again with the logs and try and identify any patterns before making any more decisions about the way forward. I've achieved virtually nothing with this strategy so need some results (from me or anyone on this thread) in order to keep it up. I TOTALLY sympathise Iris and sweetkitty and I'll maybe be joining you!

[BikeBug]

hello again all, I just want to dispense huge hugs all round, it seems like so many of us have had a totally pants few days . I'm not even going to detail last night as it was so awful - I'm knackered now, dh is running ds's bath, and I have all my fingers crossed for a better night for all of us...
Difers, ta for the growbag idea - used to swear by them but he started getting very tangled up in them and grew out of all the 0-6 month ones and they are just so expensive. But if I can find one for £6 I might give it another go!

[moljam]

bikebug,i got summer one on ebay for £4 including p and p.i think theyre great especially for cosleeping families.

[moljam]

forgot to say,will be getting 2.5 tog soon before prices shoot back up!LO will wear pink if its cheapest!he wont care!

[bottomburp]

iris am also having prob of so much booby at night that dont ever seem to have full boobs in day anymore, am expecting a hideous night as DD has only had 2 big feeds all day.plus she was totally hyper going to bed which usually means up about 9.30pm first of all and then never really gets back to sleep properly.

i know she should have a very calm routine going to bed but ours is usually, walk dog and DD 6-7pm, home, bath, low lights, dreamtime cd etc in room but usually has mad trying to crawl around on the floor for 20mins, i figure this uses up energy but then also wonder if this is overtired and should i catch her earlier?then feed and fall asleep on boob, when snoring put her into cot with dogs head toy(bizarre i know), creep out [eternally optimistic emoticon].
in the day am now leaving her to cry in cot for her morning nap, she rubs eyes when tired so put her in and she cried for 8 mins today and finally went to sleep with dogs head toy right over face so then i stayed in room in case couldnt breathe!!!i hate the crying but desperately want her to be able to fall asleep in her cot, have friends with babies same age who go into cot AWAKE and gurgling to self and then fall asleep within 10mins
afternoon nap disaster as i fell asleep feeding her so she was in bed with me.

[bottomburp]

iris am also having prob of so much booby at night that dont ever seem to have full boobs in day anymore, am expecting a hideous night as DD has only had 2 big feeds all day.plus she was totally hyper going to bed which usually means up about 9.30pm first of all and then never really gets back to sleep properly.

i know she should have a very calm routine going to bed but ours is usually, walk dog and DD 6-7pm, home, bath, low lights, dreamtime cd etc in room but usually has mad trying to crawl around on the floor for 20mins, i figure this uses up energy but then also wonder if this is overtired and should i catch her earlier?then feed and fall asleep on boob, when snoring put her into cot with dogs head toy(bizarre i know), creep out [eternally optimistic emoticon].
in the day am now leaving her to cry in cot for her morning nap, she rubs eyes when tired so put her in and she cried for 8 mins today and finally went to sleep with dogs head toy right over face so then i stayed in room in case couldnt breathe!!!i hate the crying but desperately want her to be able to fall asleep in her cot, have friends with babies same age who go into cot AWAKE and gurgling to self and then fall asleep within 10mins
afternoon nap disaster as i fell asleep feeding her so she was in bed with me.

[cheekymummy]

Sorry to hear so many are having bad nights. I actually lost count in the end of how many times my DS woke last night and I just tried to get him back off by BFing, rocking, singing (not good !!), walking around - anything at all . I hope tonight will be a little better, could really do with a couple of hours sleep just for my sanity !! I admire all who are trying to go cold turkey with BF let me know how you get on and I might try it.

sweetkitty my DS is in his cot in our room at the moment you really must let me know how you get on with DD going into her own room - hope the move goes well

Anyway, wishing all of you a good night and hopefully more of these faces tomorrow instead of - good luck everyone. x

[happygolucky22]

hi so sorry my advice couldnt help you. i actually done the controlled crying thing which whas worked pretty well for me, it is bloody hard going and i cant count the amount of times i felt like given up, have you tried someone else giving him milk, i had alot of trouble expressing to got 2 oz out in about 2 hours great fun! i also find that driving her around up and down a dual carriage way sends her right of, maybe you can try that.

[iris66]

morning all
(cheekymummy - I've taken your comment to heart )

Well, having done a bit of revision (for that read..actually looked at the book properly again)I'm feeling a bit more positive today and for once I think it may be actually because there is something in the air (a full moon to be precise - sign of new beginnings)

Anyway I've girded my metaphorical loins and will not be beaten !!

DESPITE the fact that....
I gave DS a bit of haddock last night with his tea & it made him itch like mad all night.

• but am I upset? NO!

DS woke up at:
8.00
8.30
9.10 snuuffly & itchy
9.45 took him into my bed
10.15 cold flannels on itchy legs
11.00 choking on snot so can't latch on for very long
repeated at various points through the night
5.30 tadaaaaaaaa time to get up!!

• but am I upset? NO!

and even though I feel like crap, my skin is grey and spotty & AF arrived this morning with much pain and floodiness...

• Am I upset? NO

Some may say that I've finally lost it but I just say BAH!

By the way - I've noticed that DS is napping much much better since I've stuck rigidly to the same nap times 10.30 & 3.00. I hardly need to bf him to sleep now - may try putting him to sleep in his cot rather than pram today (but not awake - I'm not that brave yet!!)

[moljam]

he woke once and went straight back to sleep!sorry to boast but i woke at 6 feeling amazing!probably wont happen again ever!

[BikeBug]

good morning all, moljam what an excellent night for you! Long may it continue! Iris, flinkin' blip (as mintsauce the mtb sheep used to say, for anyone who was into mountain biking about 10 years ago...). You have indeed put on your happy face . Know what you mean about the snuffling - ds has his first real cold (the joys of bf - he's 7 months and this is the first one!), and he cannot breath for snuffling, his face is covered in snot and he woke many times in the night. He's gone very strange - doesn't want to feed in the night, doesn't want a cuddle, just a bit of a cry and back to sleep.

Here's to new beginnings (raises cup of peppermint tea). Am now off to source a bargain grobag on ebay to go with last weeks bargain ClwtTwt nappy!

[danceswithbaby]

Lots of you have got older children, right? How did you get them to sleep? Did they have the same waking problem, or is it just some babies?

I'm definitely seeing some progress with the naps by the way.

[iris66]

moljam - fab news!! good luck for tonight!!

danceswithbaby - I didn't co-sleep with DD. I bf then put her straight back into her carrycot every time & shushed her alot. She always had naps in her cot & slept whole nights fairly early I seem to remember (17 years ago) She was in her own room at about 3 months. Why I decided to do things differently this time I'll never know. well, yes I do actually - lack of memory & didn't think!!

[momomama]

Well Iris at least your wee darling is consistent.
Moljam wow!!!!! Did you do anything different or do we have a genuine miracle?
Just about to put DD in a bath then bed. hoping for her to actually sleep like a baby before she's not one anymore!

[Difers]

Hi Guys, I have had two pants nights following what initially seemed like progress. But this solution isn't a quck fix thing is it? It's about changing own habits as much as really cute baby's habits. I am off to sleep early and I hope you all have great a great night tonight.

[cheekymummy]

Ha, ha can't believe how many and there are !! My night seemed to be a little better last night and after reading all your comments about grobags (I'd never heard of them) I went out to get one today and my little DS is sound asleep at the moment. When I was buying the grobag I lost count of how many mums came up to me telling me what a life saver it was for them when they bought one. Now it's either got something to do with the full moon or it really is true - lets wait and see how tonight goes. I am also waiting on the delivery of my book (the no cry sleep solution) which i am looking forward to reading - which are the best chapters or is the whole book great ??

I really enjoy reading all your encounters and am so glad that I am not in the minority with sleepless nights etc. etc. Thanks guys for making me feel half human again

Hope you all have a peacefull night, especially you moljam this is possibly the beginning of something new for you.

[cheekymummy]

Ha, ha can't believe how many and there are !! My night seemed to be a little better last night and after reading all your comments about grobags (I'd never heard of them) I went out to get one today and my little DS is sound asleep at the moment. When I was buying the grobag I lost count of how many mums came up to me telling me what a life saver it was for them when they bought one. Now it's either got something to do with the full moon or it really is true - lets wait and see how tonight goes. I am also waiting on the delivery of my book (the no cry sleep solution) which i am looking forward to reading - which are the best chapters or is the whole book great ??

I really enjoy reading all your encounters and am so glad that I am not in the minority with sleepless nights etc. etc. Thanks guys for making me feel half human again

Hope you all have a peacefull night, especially you moljam this is possibly the beginning of something new for you.

[cheekymummy]

Sorry about the double posting - I am going mad !!

[dizzybint]

been watching this thread over the last few days deciding whether to say hello or not so here i am HELLO! yes i'm doing ncss too. my problems don't seem as bad as a lot of you, but it's still not as i'd like it. dd nearly 5 months, bf to sleep, put her down in her cot with eyes shut and almost asleep, she then wakes every 3 hours exactly for a 7 minute bf, then back to sleep. she tries very hard to get herself back to sleep but just can not do it, needs bf. then in the day she isnt very hungry as she's fed so much in the night. so she doesnt take enough of a feed in the day to get sleepy. daytime naps happen in the car or pram or rocked on my legs, and never last more than 1 hour, 3 times a day. i can't stand the screaming if i try things in any other way, tried no bf at night, tried dh seeing to her, tried putting her in cot at various times etc etc, tried dummies, bottles etc etc, all get chewed. so i'm plodding on.. at least i'm not on my own.

[bottomburp]

but only because big glass of wine has put it there.know is going to be hideous night as DD only had 1.5 decent booby sessions today. last night woke 5 times for longish time each time then awake for playing at 6am, first thought on waking up was i cant wait to go to bed tonight!have waded thru the day with legs of mud, actually had lovely day as friends come to stay with us in Lakes with their kids who my DD loves.DD has woken up twice so far and taken a while to go to sleep but is waking up snotty and then waking up more when am trying to get nose drops down her. how does a 6mth old swivel her head so quickly and her nostrils definately get smaller when the nose drops come out!hope new moon heralds good beginnings,am off to amazon to buy NCSS, good night all.

[danceswithbaby]

It's the last day of week 1 on my 'fill her belly, wear her out, extend the naps' plan.

The 'fill her belly' part is working a bit. I think we're swinging back towards taking more calories during the day than at night. This has brought a problem in that when she tries to keep suckling at night and is just so full she retches, instead of just going back to sleep she sits up and gets distressed.

The 'wear her out' part has definitely helped with extending the naps. She now seems much more willing to get back to sleep after the initial half-hour wake up. She's now having at least one or two long naps a day, and one or two cat-naps.

It's hard to say if all this is affecting night-time sleep. It seems to be changing in that she sleeps worse 8pm-12 then better from midnight to wake-up. Still haven't had a sleep stretch longer than 2.5 hours though! She's also waking later - 7-7.30-am instead of 6am.

I'm going to stick with this plan for 2 more weeks. Anyone else seen improvement over the week?

Iris, do you think it's the co-sleeping that causes the problems then? It's hard to see what else I could have done. Right from birth she screamed when I lay her in a cot. No-one could shut her up the night she was born and the minute I put her in bed with me it was like magic. Even the disapproving midwives suggested I leave her there so we could all get some sleep!

[iris66]

dizzybint - welcome

danceswithbaby - DS was the same - he spent most of the first month going to sleep on either my or DH's chest. I should have added earlier that I don't think it's purely what we do that causes the problem. I think there's a huge element of each baby naturally settling in a particular way & they train us (sleep deprived and wanting an easy life) to accommodate them. It has merely transpired that they way they want/need to be nurtured doesn't fit into our current lifestyles (if we were all nocturnal or insomnialcs this night waking wouldn't be an issue, right? )

All things considered (serious snot/sneezing problem & waking every 30 mins until 11!)I think we had a reasonable night last night and overall I do believe things have improved !(am not going to read back my previous posts in case I'm wrong but I'm feeling positive today so forgive me if I'm quietly deluding myself!!).

DS still has 2 naps per day but they've lengthened slightly so he gets between 1.5 & 2 hrs sleep (afternoon nap is significantly better)
He still goes down well around 7.30ish
although he's waking more atm it's not for long (used to be for hours) and he is resettleable for about 11 hours (give or take the odd night) but then he is in our bed more now.

My plan for the next week is to banish DH to DS room & continue to co-sleep (from early hours only if he wakes) but as far away from DS as possible to get him used to being more "alone" in bed.

Anyone else got a game plan?

[iris66]

bottomburp - I blame you entirely for my "insomnialc" typo My current dream is a lazy evening quaffing vats of wine (& obviously not having to bf/get up to DS until late morning)ahhhhhhh

[moljam]

lastnight ds woke once soaked through!changed and rolled over back to sleep till 6 am!we chucked out cot!think that might help,he doesnt have to cry to say its cosleeping time.also leaving reloax cd on repeat.
i have dd-6,ds 5 plus ds-10 months.the older 2 never slept well til about 2 years ago!we were made to feel guilty about cosleeping and so had big fights every night!im worried about dh sticking to routine when i go away at weekend.