the no-cry sleep solution

[iris66]

has anyone tried it? (book by Elizabeth Pantley) I'm on day 2 & looking for a bit of support as I know it's going to take time. I'm dying through sleep depravation with 8mth DS who bfs to sleep but is very very tricky to move so have been cosleeping whilst he fidgets & kicks all night(and power naps during the day)
Think this is the last chance saloon before ear plugs & leaving him to get hysterical (even though I know that won't happen - i just couldn't, he really does do the whole temper, then sad then hysteria/shaking/terror/I've been abandoned thing - even if DH goes to him - such a mummy's boy)
Anyway, please post if you've been successful with this [hopeful emoticon]

moljam - you give us all hope....if it continues we will all miss your input on the thread

detentiongrrl - i, like you, have no idea hoe much my lo slept as it is all a blur...

well, went to the hv today. my lo is 4mnths and she suggested weaning?!? what do you lot think?

better dash ds is bored of knee bouncing to me typing

lori - 4 months is a big growth spurt time. I started to wean dd at 11 weeks (18 yrs ago - as per guidelines) then and wished I'd waited - their guts aren't developed enough to accept "proper" food & there is a bigger risk of allergies. WHO guidelines suggest 6mths as a more appropriate weaning time (which your HV should be advising you!!!)I'd hold off the weaning for as long as poss as it really buggers up their sleep!!!!

DS has only woken once per night over the past few and seems to be generally improving (touch wood!) Just a thought, but DS got lots worse before he got better. Firstly, his naps improved (with bad nights) then nights got better (with bad days) then he started having better naps but taking longer to settle at night but actually sleeping better....is this a trend?

had surprise 40th party on sat by the way . It was fab and DS slept brilliantly for the babysitter (not that I was texting for updates ). DH even got up with him so I could lie in which was heavenly. Am now officially old

hoping for quiet nights all round

iris66, happy birthday and i am glad to hear that it can get worse before it gets better because it's deffo got worse!! i am also envious of your dh cos mine just absolutely cannot settle dd at all, so it's me hauling my sorry lil arse out of bed everyday, in sickness or in health... sigh...

but i can also see small glimmers of hope in that the crying is getting slightly less. ever ever so slightly, but we're moving forward....

well done moljam, and dd is 8 months. i know she is not hungry because i give her milk and she only take an once or two... she has a very hardwired body alarm clock, that's what i think it is...

dances with baby, i know how u feel. my lo does that from after 2am, takes about 30 mins to an hour to settle, then she cries again at 4, maybe for a shoter period, then 5 (at which point i give in and feed her) and that's it, she won't go back to sleep!!! arrrgggghhhhhhh... but don't give up on the naps. believe that your baby can and should sleep this long(2-4 hours in the day, 10 hours at night). as for me there is not much i can do as she is with the childminder in the day time and they insist that she needs her naps! chin up girl, we can get thru this! i'll be looking out for your posts!

last night dh caught me lying in bed half asleep, shushing and patting myself on the chest... sleep deprvation at it's worst i think!!

take care everyone, love and light to all!

why does my child think that 3.30am is a good time to get up?

He is currently gurgling to himself and watching Sky News on the floor. If he wasn't so smiley and loveable i don't know what i'd do. He must be the happiest teething baby in the world.

Give it an hour and he'll fall asleep at my boob, and back to bed for us!

It's encouraging that your lo got worse before getting better Iris. I'm kind of morbidly curious now to see just how bad it can actually get. We were up every hour again last night, but at least we weren't watching tv at 3.30am DG!

Hope you had a really good birthday Iris! Welcome to the world of geriatric parenting (yes, I'm older than you). My DH has worked out that if DD goes into higher education he could be claiming old age pension and child benefit at the same time.

well, I have my solution - move in with my parents. He slept for 4 hours + 5 hours overnight there, napped for over an hour each time I put him down in the day. And I did nothing different except put him in a different house. Brought him back home and he's awake every hour again all night, and napping for 30 minutes... I think I need to move from our tinny little 1960's house to a solid one - warm, dark and sound deadening. Am currently investigating white noise cds, the house echoes to the recorded sound of mountain streams....

oh yes, happy birthday Iris! And Iris and dwb, you are making me feel so young- and I'm an official 'older mum' (rolls eyes at the sillyness of calling someone of my tender years 'old' and goes off to count grey hairs...)

happy birthday iris!hope party was good!
lastnight lo was up 3 times so not bad but not as good as the once a night!i think its because it was log night!he didnt want to be too extreme!also our house has no heating and its freezing.we went to look at the new house today,its got radiators!!!luxury!hopefully be moving in a few weeks,yes right by xmas and ds 1st birthday,fun.so not good naps either today as spent half day in car!

moljam, lol at your lo wanting not to be too too sleepy for the logs! Sounds like things are going very well for you though - don't send too many of those sleepy vibes out to the rest of us, you do need to keep enough back for a full night . Moving to a house with radiators sounds like a good idea, especially near christmas. Is it a nice house?

hi all - thanks for all the birthday wishes
danceswithbaby - lol at DH's pension/CHB comment - mine will just miss out - he's gutted
Detentiongrrrl - ouch at the early start!! it can only get better eh?!
moljam - hope you can get in to your new house as soon as poss.

Well, DS is still awake (up at 7 then 2 naps totalling 2.5 hrs)but swinging between playing and grumping all over DH (refuses every effort to make him sleep). Am off for a bath & going early to bed with him to see if a good snuggle will help (DS that is )

Evening all well I think I am offically at my wits end. DD1 who has always been a good sleeper has for the past weeks been awful, this was my evening tonight (DP in London on business so I'm by myself), 7.30pm BF DD2 downstairs as cannot go upstairs and do nice dark, snuggly feed, she falls asleep fine but I have to move her as DD1 has announced she needs a poo, so DD2 wakes up so I move her upstairs and try a quick BF before DD1 shouts me. DD1 is falling asleep on me as I read her a story so I take her upstairs, the minute she sees her bed she starts screaming and you guessed it DD2 wakes up so I've got the 2 of them crying in 2 rooms so I go to DD2 BF her whilst checking on DD1 every 10 minutes. At this point I could cry, DD1 eventually falls asleep and I manage to get DD2 off to sleep again but she's woken up about 10 minutes ago. Last night DD1 didn't go to sleep until 10pm and was up 5 times in the night, DD2 was up at 3 (she wasn't well yesterday) so who knows what tonight will bring. I just don't know where I am going wrong, I feel so low it's affecting everything right now as well as feeling so tired DP and I never get any quality time together we haven't been able to sit down and watch a film together nevermind anything else for a long while.

Sorry just having a moan DD2 has a temperature yesterday and wasn't herself all day she was so clingy all she wanted to do was cuddle me and sleep (hence not being herself) she's better today though.

Iris - happy belated birthday glad your party went well your not that old really so so glad DS is turning the corner re the sleeping gives the rest of us hope.

moljam - new house sounds great especially with heating hope the move goes smoothly for you all

DG - ouch watching tv in the wee small hours I suppose I'm lucky in the DD2 will take a boob and go back to sleep so don't lose out too much.

lori - would echo what the others have said 4 months too young for weaning IMO and it's such a hassle too, if you wait until 6 months they can have more varieties of food and can have fingerfoods too, when you think about it a few spoonfuls of baby rice or some carrot puree doesn't have that mant calories especially compared to milk, weaning did nothing for DD2's sleep even now and you should see what she eats in a day (a lot) so I know she's not hungry when she's waking.

Sleepy vibes to everyone and their los tonight am off to bed now to try and catch up with some of the sleep debt.

Oh sweetkitty- at least i've just got one to contend with! (This is why we're waiting 3 yrs before we have another one, and why i picked up pill precription yesterday!!) Sending you a big hug!

DS woke couple of times for brief feeds, and was awake between 1-2am. I shushed, patted, rocked, boobed and finally got him back to sleep. But DP getting a cold and snored like pig all night...someone is conspiring against me ever sleeping again! (and builder coming to knock out wall today, so no afternoon nap either )

sweetkitty,sounds awful night!hope your lo is better soon.could you try putting them in together?this sometimes worked for my dd and ds1,even now at 6 and 5 they have a beutiful room each but prefer to share a bed!saves going into two different rooms!is your dh back today so you can nap?hope you get more sleep today!sending you hugs and sleepy dust!

Well after the 10pm wakening all was quiet then DD1 woke at 12.45am screaming "Mummy's bed" went in every 10 minutes but she wasn't having any of it then of course she woke DD2, this is 1.30am by this time you can imagine my state of mind. Anyway went in told DD1 she was not getting out of her cot and she was staying there until morning time. This seemed to work (she's 2.4y but is quite smart and seems to understand a lot). Went through BF DD2 back to sleep and that was her until 5am this morning so not a bad stretch. She was up at 6am then at 7.30am for a morning feed. DD1 was quiet until 8 . Still feeling a bit yuck today.

DG - I made the mistake of having a perfect sleeping child first time around so thought I would have another really quickly. It's really great though apart from the sleeping.

moljam - thanks DD2 is fine now. Wow you have a 6yo and a 5yo too respect to you I don't know if putting them both in the same room would help. DD2 is just too noisy at night I think they would wake each other up. The plan is after Christmas and DD1's first birthday I am going to paint the spare room and she is being evicted into there. Probably will mean end to breastfeeding and me sleeping on the floor for a while. I think I am ready to stop BFing in the the few months (have been pregnant or BFing since November 2003) so think it's time to get my body back.

Well, well, well, lots of successes for some people. I am soooo envious as we are still up and down like yo-yo's through the night, but I am genuinely inspired by hearing NCSS can work.
Congratulations Iris on your birthday and getting out for the night!!!! i don't know whats the bigger cause of celebration?
Glad you're all still posting too

hayles, i recommend a different carrier if you only have the Tomy type ones that you can get on high street shops.

For a novice and for babies your age, a pouch sling is the simplest and easiest.

another idiot proof one is the Ergo carrier. i used mine from 4 months but it has a new born insert (for about £10 more) to put them in if you want to use it from before they can hold their own head up. its £50 but worth every penny.

The ergo is ergonomic for you and the baby. The tomy ones just aren't for either of you.

Oh, ime, you can't 'sort out' a baby's sleep issues at this stage. there is too much that will change in thier little lives in their first year that wake them up.

Have been keeping up with your threads but have not had too much to report. Last night was a bit better though although I feel a bit guilty as ds slept with me. He slept on top of the duvet in his sleeping bag in the middle of the double bed and I slept on the edge! I feel guilty as we don't have any thing to prevent him falling out of bed and the book says that they should not sleep on top of the duvet. How does everyone else get this co-sleeping to work safely?

Thanks for all your support about the weaning. I will stick by my guns about waiting until 6 months and am going to try the 'baby led weaning' approach.

When we co-sleep, he sleeps on top of duvet between us too. I can hear the slightest movement and wake up though.

Bloody DP still snoring...DS woke every 2 hrs last night, and in between DP kept me awake with snoring.

I'm going to be shot but both DDs have always slept undet the duvet with us have never woken up with a head under the duvet, DP also says I push him away from DD2 in the night too DD2 has her bedside cot too which is utterly brilliant as it frees up the bed for us and she's still close.

Another rubbish night for us, wouldn't go down until 9pm last night, DD1 was difficult too then I think she was up about 3 times in the night.

agree about ergo,i wouldnt be without it!i have pouch and ergo.
although we are no longer cosleepingwe had the matress on floor,lo slept between me and wall,i tucked duvet round me so it didnt ever go on him(i was snug!),my pillow was turned upwards so he had no danger from pillow either.the whole room is baby safe so if he did manage to sneak off in night!you never know!it would be ok!

Even writing this is bound to change my luck, but just had to tell you that my dd (7+ months) has settled herself to sleep for two nights running, for the first time ever! The trick? To give her enough food during the day. Weaning hadn't been too successful, so we were taking things slowly. Then I decided enough was enough, tried finger foods & encouraging her to have 3 meals a day in addition to her bf and magically, the very same day she goes to sleep on cue. I'm really hopeful it will start to benefit her night time sleep, too. I'm still apprehensive about introducing new stuff in the evening, so keep the evening meals really inoffensive just in case.

There, bet I've jinxed it now. Just thought I'd share my trick with you all just in case anyone else has failed to make the link between food & sleep.

Hi, this might be a long one, but it goes from chaos, to a happy ending with DS at 9.5 months, and how we did it. I am not familiar with the book you are referring to, we just did the progression in tiny steps...

I was lucky as my DS slept through the night really early on...until the colic set in (I had about a week of blissful sleep)! After that he was SO restless at night it was awful. Daytime naps were strictly being held by me or DH (if you put him down, it was all over!) My nighttime solution was to take away the side of the cot and push it right up against my bed. This way it was kind of like co-sleeping, but he was still in his own space with his own bedding, and my sleep was interrupted a BIT less.

As he grew out of the colic, he still needed that nighttime assurance so I left the cot there, but put the side back (by this time he was starting to really get around in his cot while sleeping). That way I could reach through and just put a hand on his hip or tummy so he knew I was there and would settle again. It was amazing how often a little arm crept through the bars to reach for me, and how often we slept hand in hand. He slowly grew out of that on his own, once he was sure I was still there nearby if he really needed me.

Daytime sleeps slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) went from being held, to me staying with him and co-napping before finally getting him sleeping alone in the cot. At this stage I am still lying with him in bed to get him to sleep, and transferring him to the cot.

In the earlier days I co-napped in the day, and at least rested even if I couldn't sleep. Don't worry if the house is a mess, and you aren't doing ahem "useful" things while baby is sleeping. You also need to rest!

P.S. When I am totally knackered, I still boot snoring DH out into the guest room. Everyone ends up more refreshed!

I almost moved into DS's room to sleep last night, put out sleeping bag and fold out bed in a huff, then thought i'd try once more to sleep in bed with DP. Luckily, i managed it...then DP got up this morning and asked if i'd slept in DS's room. He looked terribly hurt, love him.

it's good to read your posts... our progrees is so snail paced slow i am about to go insane with sleep deprivation! still i am at the point where i cannot give up now, so will have to keep buggerin on... won't bore you wiv details of our progress just yet... am once again reminded of pantley's advice to only track it every ten days, and not every night the way i am obsessively doing now... comparing minutes and seconds! more positive energy to all!