The dreaded SLEEP REGRESSION support and solidarity thread!

[Tiredemma]

Here we are. Sleep deprived, emotional and craving all things sugary just to survive the day.

bah.

Why can't this happen for me!!! You tell yourself it's just the way your baby is, your doing a good job etc but after a while you can't help but think you're actually doing a crap job!!! Extra fed up tonight here!!

We've just spent the last hour trying to settle a very overtired DS. It's amazing how one badly timed nap can have such a knock on effect. I've resorted to trying to feed him to sleep now, anything to stop the wailing!
I hope this isn't a sign of the night to come, the last two nights were actually slightly improved overall.
Oh bless him, he's dropped off and he's laughing in his sleep. What a stress reliever.

I'm preparing myself for another dreaded night. I think as it comes to the end of the week, it really catches up on me, and I'm feeling physically ill. I'm also due back to work soon and no idea how that is going to work

Do you work full time ginger?? We will be on beans on toast but I've extended my mat leave cos of the sleeping situation I've stuck to a routine this week & it's still not worked, he does have a cold so that's not helped but I'm really fed up!!

I don't think weaning is going to help as he wakes up & uses me for comfort really rather than to feed, I've even sat beside him in the dark while he has cried himself to sleep (self soothed although not very soothing!!!!!) & it's made no difference! He rarely cries/ screams in the day & often falls asleep by himself for his daytime naps so I'm at a loss as to what happens at night!

Here we go again. She has been in bed for 2 hours and I've already been up 3 times. Have MIL here tonight who is up with her now trying to settle her (without milk) - just dread the night. She has been quite coldly today so I guess that's not helping, also the wind & rain is bashing against the window which could be waking her (clutching at straws!).

Gives me hope that some of you had good ish nights last night though. I'm not at all hopeful for tonight but maybe soon...

Boo, I am supposed to go back full time but going to ask if I can go back part time. I hope they agree, or else I'll have to give up work.

Does your LO seem windy at night? I'm wondering whether my DD's night awakings and crying may be because I'm feeding her lying down and not burping her at night. She is incredibly windy and I know she has re-grown posterior tongue tie which may be making things worse. But honestly, I've got no idea. I just keep telling myself that it will pass, it's just a phase. But it'd been 4 months!

sunshine I dread night time too. DD is not a particularly grumpy baby during the day, except when over tired because she won't bloody nap, but seems to undergo a personality change at night. Wakings are now accompanied by crying which I can only calm by feeding. I can't believe she's that hungry. She can go longer between feeds during the day and we started on solids a week ago which was meant to be the miracle cure for night time waking. No such luck.

Boo I'm considering the beans on toast approach too and delaying going back to work. I don't need the stress of trying to resolve all our sleep issues on a scheduled when nothing we do seems to make a difference anyway. I'm self employed so it's flexible, I was intending to go back part time but it could be very part time at first.

Sunshine and Armetis, how old are your LOs?

Well good luck everyone I'm calling it a day while again!! You never know tonight could be the night we've all been dreaming of!!!! Who am I kidding he is stirring already!

Ginger mine is a few days shy of 6mo. We have been in so-called sleep regression for about 7 weeks, it has moved through many phases but generally involves ludicrously frequent night wakings some of which last for hours. Random crying is a particularly enjoyable addition to the repertoire. I can't call it regression any more since this has gone on for longer than the period from about 14-18/19 weeks when she actually slept pretty well

There must be a sleep expert out there who would know what we could do to sort these problems- none of the baby's in this thread seem to scream day & night, unlikely anything clinically wrong with them so surely there is some sort of solution?? I guess that's why this thread was started in the first place but a lot of original posters have gone quiet so are out of regression I'm presuming??

To be fair I'm/ ds is not in regression as he has never slept that long 4 hours max on a handful of occasions in his nearly 5 months of life!

finally got DS down again by 9 after feeding him to sleep, brief resettle needed at 9.40, awake again 5 minutes ago. I'm now feeding him again as I can't face more crying.
Artemis I was pondering the personality change thing earlier. My DS is such a cheery little boy during the day. I must say he's especially unsettled tonight so maybe there's something bothering him other than being overtired. Our 'golden nights' of sleep were 12-18 weeks, so roughly the same as you. Seems forever ago.

Noisy our DCs sound very similar. We are having a shit night here too. 2 hours of sleep, up at 1am, tried to leave her to self settle for half an hour of whingeing but she's now downstairs with DP trying to settle her. I can hear her crying & know I'm going to have to feed again. She can't possibly be hungry after just 3 hours surely. She wouldn't be during the day. I know that continuing to feed to sleep will only perpetuate this issue but I don't know what else to do. There is only so much crying we can take.

Boo there are dozens of sleep ''experts" out there and literally thousands of books. If there was a simple answer we'd all be doing it and someone would be very very rich! I go through cycles of thinking we can cope and then despairing and wondering if a sleep consultant would help but it's a hell of a lot of money to hire someone if all they have to offer is the stuff from the books. I guess moral support is worth a lot. I'm beginning to resent that my mat leave is two thirds over and I've spent it in a blur of sleep deprivation and stress. Each day is marred by the knowledge that later on i am going to have to try to get her to sleep and the certainty that she won't. It is putting a lot of strain on my relationship with OH.

Oh, so this must be what's happening to me. I didn't know it existed. My first was a terrible sleeper so there was no 'regression' it just never happened. Number 2 has been going 5/6/7 hours since 6 weeks and fully sleeping through since about 10. Now aged 14 weeks he's night waking again and I'm like whatttt? Sometimes it's worse when your body has gotten used to the unbroken sleep again and then it's cruelly snatched away how long does this last? Please tell me it passes. I was enjoying having one of those babies that were like an urban myth to me before

Rubbish night here AGAIN!! How fed up am I of saying that! Settled well to be fair from 7.30-11 (must go to bed early) then I managed to settle him again at 11.45 til 2.30 then he has been constantly up & down restless wouldn't settle, not wanting to feed particularly but nuzzle on my type thing! So so tired & DP didn't get in from work til 4 am so can't be waking him for a while, ds1 got in bed with me at 3 as well as it was so stormy the wind was howling!

Artemis I have accepted (for the majority of the time) that DP is no good without sleep so he is in the spare room. He is better in the day this way to take ds's on long walks so I get a little bit of me time this way there are some days when I resent this but I tell myself this isn't forever!! I wish he was a bit more grateful for all the sleep he gets though! People who think baby's make relationships stronger need to borrow ours for a bit!!

Can I also whinge about my 3yo here?? She has had a continuous cold since she started nursery but she was being an absolute drama queen last night so between her and dd2 it was a SHITTY night!! Oh well time for a cold shower, coffee and then the joys of dd1's dance class. Oh and also sulking because me and dh were scheduled to have our first night out tonight but there is no way that can happen as dd2 won't/ can't settle without boob :-(

I don't want this thread to become a partner bashing one but mine is driving me mad!! He is spending more time at work than ever because I'm "off" apparently!! When he is home he is doing little to help apart from taking the boys out for walks, we used to share most chores - there have been phases where he has cooked more than I have yet I can't remember the last time he cooked a meal!!! Anyone else feeling generally fed up & taken advantage of or do I sound like your daughter madamej - a drama queen!!!

Nope it's the same here boo - apparently work is all consuming now... and he also refers to me as being 'off'. He also likes to bring up how colleagues babies of x weeks old are sleeping 7-7 blah blah.. Same also on the cooking front, he made a few meals in the first month but nothing since. He takes the DS's to activities etc and sees that as hard work! Seriously! Chatting to other parents for an hour then driving home again - really? And moans about doing some food shopping - until he realises he can wander around on his own for an hour and stretch it out over bedtime to avoid any effort there

Shit night here too, saw every hour. I'm ill & beyond caring now. DH got up at 8 to take ds who had been awake since 630 so just in time for his nap, which is with me as he won't fucking sleep without me. Apparently DH was disturbed at the 330 waking and is exhausted. I was awake from 1-430 unable to get back off. Waiting for OOH to call me for gp appt as I think I have a throat/ear infection. Came downstairs this am to find carnage in kitchen, plates left to 'soak' etc, bathroom in a shit state, I am fucking fuming. Have told DH ds needs a nap soon & to lo

Oh dear god.....

Lo

Ahem....

Look for sleepy signs but I can hear shrieking and giggling from their direction and I have no doubt I will have a wound up over tired baby to deal with very shortly.

End. Of. Tether.

Big sympathies cake, sending alcohol, antibiotics for infection, chocolate and whatever else helps a tiny bit your way. And a slap for 'd'h

Thank you. Honestly I am going to snap soon. All DH needs to do is put ds on pram or car and get the fuck away from me for few hours for the first time on 5 months But oh no. He's had to have a leisurely shit and shower for an hour, now polishing his Godamn boots before having breakfast. Then he wants to know what we are doing today. I'm fucking ill you idiot and have been up all night just like I have for the last 5 months. FFS what the hell is wrong with them? It amazes me we ever made it out of caves. If it was left to him we'd still be whacking sticks together trying to make fire. He even looks pissed off and wounded as I'm 'not very happy' oh and the crowning glory? ' I told you it'd be hard....' Yes you did but not that I'd do 99% with ds, even though I'm 'off work'

Rant suspended over

Boo, I know where you are coming from. DH has gone for a nap again because he is tired (!). But I've come to accept it that he is going to be of no help whatsoever. And when he does help I quietly appreciate it. I've got zero expectations from him, and tbh that's the only way we could survive this. As sleep deprivation is certainly a relationship breaker.

But one thing I would advise is be very clear with him. They don't get hints, you can drop a thousand to say you are knackered, but they still won't get it. Tell him straight, you are looking after LO for the next two hours, I am going to sleep/out/bath etc.

cakebaby, poor you and gosh that long shower, i can totally relate to that, really irks me!!! it seems to be men that are like that. Here on mumsnet there appear to be women who have very supportive spouses, but tbh I don't know any one in person that has such support from their husband that they look after the LOs at the weekend,.