High-Need Baby Support Thread III

[TitaniaP]

Well as I'm awake I thought I'd start thread 3!

The high-need baby thread has been moved from breast & bottle feeding to sleep. In the early days of the thread I think feeding was a significant issue for many of the posters. I think those that post regularly on the thread would now agree that's it's mainly sleep that's the issue.

So if your baby fits the following criteria come and join us for wine, chocolate, coffee and matchsticks as we delight in our active, inquisitive, curious and restless babies or toddlers!

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

DS has finally stopped waking so much at night though a reaction to prawns seems to have interrupted that for the last couple of night.

I think mrbutton and I have pretty much come to the end of our particular road. There have been things 'wrong' for years but I've finally stopped denying it to myself and accepted that yes, things really are this bad and no, they're not going to change. I'm sad at giving up on a relationship and scared at the thought of being a single mum to 4dcs but really I'm almost that now so what's going to change?

I'm happy to post more later but as yet H has no real idea what's going on - he's still in his own blissful little world where everything's good for him. And I'm not 100% sure that I'm totally unknown on here so won't say anything else yet.

Above all I'm relieved that its going to end and hopeful about a new life. I'm aware that there'll be tough times ahead but I've done a fair amount of mourning over the years and I feel like I'm passing through that stage.

Hugs to you Button I hope you are okay. Here if you need a chat or to unload. It's a very brave thing to admit that things aren't right.

You are a fantastic mum and an amazingly strong woman.

Hello ladies!

I've seen LittleWavey and Joyful on threads recently and realised how much I missed you guys! Sorry I haven't been around for a while - I went back to work, got outed, shied away from posting for a while, planned my wedding and am now back, rested, and not posting anything I don't want my RL friends to know about

Hugs Button. I'm sorry things are so tough. It seems sad that you and DH feel so differently though; if he's 'blissful' it suggests he's still crazy about you. Would Relate or something similar help you be happy too? (or am I being idiotically naive in my irritatingly newly marriedness?)

Tickle - mine's been back for a while. So annoying! Also means I panic, without fail, every month. I got a new job recently but don't actually start until January so getting pregnant between now and then would be disastrous. DH and I aren't that great at contraception though

Oh Button/Hildebrand. I just read your 'cycle of blame' thread and am so sorry you're going though this Ignore my blase comment upthread please

I know I haven't been around on here for a while, but can I just say that you have always come across as a kind, caring, genuine person, a loving mother and a good friend? Whatever happens, you will be fine. You will make the right choices for you and your family; I'm sure of it. Good luck.

What?! You didn't get it?! Bloody Royal Mail. Hang on, I just need to scoot off to AIBU and rant about the invites not arriving...

It was amazing. Thanks for asking.

Honeymoon was lovely. We took a campervan to the Gower for a few days (outs self to even more people!). DS did his best ever sleeping and positively loved the car seat as he was higher up and could see more. He even climbed into it to use as a seat one afternoon [shocked]

Oh, and in case any of you remember dress-gate, the final dress was bloody amazing. Fact. [non-stealth boast smiley]

Oh Button love, just seen your other thread :( For what it's worth, I think you are absolutely doing the right thing. I second the 'if you're ever in my neck of the woods' offer. And if you need support or a hand to hold, we're all here for you as well :)

Truth, congratulations on your wedding! Glad it was wonderful, bet you looked absolutely stunning. Glad your little one is sleeping better. the carseat!

Joyful Think we're heading back down your way in October at some point :)

Hi ladies, sorry I've not been back with an update - I've been getting migraines the past few weeks and have to stay away from laptop and screens when the headaches hit. Please forgive me for not keeping up with the thread and offering more support to everyone who is struggling.

DD is 20 weeks now, but sadly no signs of improvement with the sleep situation. I feel so bad, and just wish I could help her. I recently spoke to another HV who was just as useless as the first. I was concerned about DD's thrashing around, scratching her face, and waking hourly crying all night. HV said it sounded like colic. I am really starting to think that colic is just code for "we don't have a fucking clue why this baby seems to be in such distress so will palm you off with this vague explanation about something that no one really understands and not much can be done about".

Saw the GP as well, reflux meds have been adjusted for DD's weight but still, no difference. GP suggested early weaning, but I'm feeling a bit reluctant about that - don't want to cause more stress on DD if her gut is troublesome already.

I'm trying to be more relaxed about co-sleeping, but it's still a struggle. Meditation helps a lot, but it's hard to find the time for a daily practice. I don't know why I get such anxiety about it. We're following all the guidelines, I'm bf and very aware of DD in bed. She loves it and sleeps well, sometimes up to 3 hours at a time - I can just rub her tummy or hold her gently when the hourly thrashing starts and she'll usually settle and not wake herself up, cry, or go for her eyes. It's much easier than standing over the cot and trying to calm her 8+ times a night. Murder on my back though, even with loads of pillow support. I'm just so tense and can't stretch out or relax.

Sorry, rambling again after too many sleepless nights! Hope everyone is hanging in there. Will try to drop in more frequently, headaches permitting.

Hi Mitsouku - I don't think I've spoken to you before as I've been M.I.A. for a while, so apologies if this has been sugguested before, but have you tried a three-sided cot? I was also apprehensive about co-sleeping, but our cot has a side you can take off, so I had that next to our bed. DS had his own space, I had mine, but I could get to him easy-peasy if he needed comforting overnight.

Hi there, thanks for the support Truth, much appreciated as I'm feeling really exhausted today. Yeah - DD slept in Bednest co-sleeper crib (on loan from friends) until she was about 16 weeks - but she never settled well in it, and ended up in my bed with me for most of the night anyway. A hand on the chest just wouldn't really cut it. We've just been loaned another cot, which unfortunately doesn't have a drop side. It's in my room though, so at least I don't have far to go on a bad night with hourly wakings. I did look at some drop side cots, but just couldn't see how I'd manage the DIY with getting the height right and getting it secured to bed. DH and I are really crap at that kind of stuff. We're planning an international move next year, trying to keep expenses down and stuff to minimum, so have jumped at offers of free cots on loan!

I really think these night wakings are due to reflux / stomach discomfort, but have done just about everything I can think of to remedy that and haven't had too much success. GP is referring us back to hospital for follow-up with Paed - but I don't know what else they will suggest. I'm just SO hoping that DD will improve once she can sit upright and once we start weaning. Roll on 6 months please!

Sorry, back to wedding gossip. I've snuck a pic up on my profile For a limited time only...

The Gower was LOVELY. We'd never been before and absolutely loved it. What an amazing place to grow up Button.