4 month sleep regression- light at the end of the tunnel

[nearlymumofone]

I posted here a while back about the hell i was goig through with the 4 month sleep regression. And it really was hell. However I've been meaning to post here to let anyone going through it know there is light at the end of the tunnel. DS hit it at 16 weeks, and it lasted till 6 months, with the worst weeks being form 16-20 weeks. I was EBF at the time and I think this actually didn't help the sleep sitruation, at 5 months i introduced solids and a bottle, he was established on solids by 6 months and ff and slept through the night without waking. I can't tell whether the formula or solids helped, whether it was either or both, but his sleeping well coincided with him being well satisfied and full (he was very poor at bf and not gaining weight so it wasn't going well at hence i gave in at 5 months). We also introduced a blankie which was a godsend and put him in his own room. All of which seemed to positively contribute to him sleeping well. Maybe the regression would have passed without us doing these things, however they seemed to work well for us. Now DS is 9 months and unless he's ill/teething sleeps through the night (from 6.30-6.30 ish).

I just wanted to give hope to anyone going through it at the minute that it will get better.

[Muser]

No improvement here last night, except she was easier to put to bed with no crying. But we did the Calpol early, because we are drug pushing parents. She at least managed to sleep 8-10.30 without doing the 9pm wake up. But then it was every 2ish hours after that.

Today she has been absolutely miserable and I am still leaning towards teething as an explanation. Very red bottom, which she doesn't normally get, screaming and crying, wanting to go on boob but then not being happy when she's there, trying to chew on everything. Poor love. I fear it's going to be a long night.

[ChopMonster]

Muser I hope last night was better for you?

Gah Borg I hate it when they don't take the hint! We were at a family party yesterday afternoon and DS was tired but FIL wouldn't give him back to me for his nap. He kept saying "oh he's not crying yet so he's ok". Which really annoyed me because I gave him DS for a nap a few weeks ago, DS smiled as FIL cuddled him and so FIL declared he wasn't tired, sat him up and waved a load of toys in his face. 15 minutes later we had a screaming, overtired baby. I thought FIL might've learnt! 2-5 sounds good and great that he went back down til 7.

Bet that second stint sounds good. Maybe if he's ready for solids then it'll hel his sleep? We were debating giving porridge this evening. I reckon DS'd demolish a stick of banana if we gave it to him.

Friday night was bad, can't even remember the times but he was wide awake for the day at 5.30 Sat morning.

Last night was great though, fed him at 7.30 (first time he's taken a bedtime feed in ages), think he went to sleep at 8 ish and woke at 3.50 and then up at 7. However, there was a village fair on and they were playing bass music til midnight so I didn't get to sleep til half 12 ish. Not happy.

I don't think tonight will be so good as he went down for a nap at 6.30 so bedtime won't be til late no doubt, but we couldn't keep him awake.

[Muser]

Another dreadful night last night, and I think she's shifted from actually being hungry to just wanting a bit of comfort. Hoping tonight will be better as we're going swimming at lunchtime and so far swimming seems to lead to better sleeping.

I think at the weekend we're going to shift her into her own room. I wanted to hold off for 6 months, but I think we're disturbing her. I may also need to get tough on the night feeds and start trying some other soothing techniques. Never had much luck with those, but if we're firm hopefully it'll work. Saving it for the weekend so if it all goes pear shaped at least there's two of us around all day to allow for daytime naps.

How was everyone else's night?

[Bet01]

Chop, FIL sounds like a right pain! My Dad's the same, didn't seem to believe me about the importance of naps/overtiredness causing issues, until he came to stay with us for two days and declared 'you must be knackered'. Yep, pretty much.
Muser, our night was crap-ola too. DS in cot from 10-12 (high five!) but after that I think he woke at 2, 3.30, 5.15, 6, and then fed/dozed until 7.30.
Like your DC, my DS is now sucking for comfort alot of the time. I have a feeling that if I left him he would cry, because he wakes himself up rubbing his face, and so I'm afraid I just plug him back in.
I actually do think there's nothing to be done other than ride it out-DS is 18 weeks and can't understand that I want sleep, and sucking is what calms him, and it won't be forever. This attitude is less easy to cultivate at 3am by the way.
This has gone on for 31 nights so far. It's wearing a bit thin tbh.

[Muser]

I'm glad I'm not the only one whose been battling through for so long Bet. Ours started with a definite growth spurt at 15 weeks, she'll be 20 weeks tomorrow. 5 long weeks. I don't know whether to keep trying to ride it out or not. Moving rooms is at least an easy step. If it doesn't help I can always move her back.

[WeAreBorg]

Oh dear, bad nights all round then. Mixed here.
He managed a 730-1230 stint which is great but why do I never go to bed early when he does that? i stayed up expecting the usual 10 an 11 wake-up. Woke at 130, then 4, then 530 (but went back to sleep after some chatting and shouting), up at about 7. Was okay but I was wide awake at 530 expecting him to wake up so didn't appreciate the "lie-in".
I'm just going to keep trying to get the daytime naps better, at least then he is happy even if the nights are no better.
Chop 8-330 !!!! shame you couldn't enjoy it but it's progress!

Annoyingly if I do get a 3 hour in a row sleep then my poor sleep deprived body thinks it's slept all night and I can't get back to sleep. Irritating.

[ChopMonster]

Last night wasn't as good unfortunately. I stupidly got my hopes up! 8-12.30, 3.45, 5.15 (settled him without a feed), 5.45, 7.15. Borg I know exactly what you mean with not being able to get back to sleep. It's so annoying! The other night I fed him at 4, drifted off just before 5 and he woke at 5.50. Arg. Nice first stint for you, shame it wasn't in the middle of the night.

Bet01 he is lovely really, but I think both sets of parents think we exaggerate. My mum understands now after I spent 4 days with them and she battled with him for a nap - it was worse then too because he was having a growth spurt so wouldn't be put down! Glad you got your dad to understand.

5 weeks for us too Muser. Started at 14 weeks and he's 19 weeks tomorrow. Can I offer un-mumsnet hugs to all?

[DorcasB]

Hi, can I please join your thread? I have a 5 month old DD, so not technically a four month sleep regression anymore. Her sleep has never been great but around 18 weeks it started to get worse and now we are at 21 weeks and I cannot see any bloody light at the end of the tunnel! Getting very demoralised by other mums in RL talking about their babies sleeping through, and the looks of pity/shock when I tell them about my nights. Could do with some moral support a good nights sleep .
So, last night... two and a half hours to settle, awake at 10.45, 12.00, 1.30, 3.30, after which she decided that the cot was not for her after all and could she please just be cuddled for the rest of the night. Me and DP managed to make it through till dawn taking it in turns.
I have no idea what the he'll is going on- teething, the heat, wired after a day of constant rolling, toe sucking and limb waving? Have no more theories or ideas left- just gritting teeth and repeating 'this won't last forever'. Will it?
Oh and did I mention that she never naps? Not without serious rocking, shushing, patting from me. And then only on me. And not for very long.
Oh god, am I getting this whole parenting business terribly wrong?
Thank you if you have read this far!

[DorcasB]

*hell not he'll

[Muser]

Hi Dorcas, come join the general despair! If you're doing it all wrong then so am I. I mostly only get naps in the pram or sling. If we're out I can sometimes pat & jiggle her to sleep after a feed. She's always been a reluctant napper but I used to console myself that she slept really well at night. HAH. Now she's just rubbish all round. I can't believe I once started a thread asking how long it would take for my boobs to adjust to not having to wake up for a feed at night.

[DorcasB]

Oh god, despair is the right word. I can be quite philosophical about it during the day but as bedtime approaches I start to feel dread... She's already woken up once since putting her to bed at eight, settled back after a feed on the second attempt... this does not bode well. Good luck tonight everyone, wishing us all good sleeps.
Oh and Muser, I cant believe I used to think I was sleep deprived when I had to keep getting up to pee when I was pregnant. How little I knew..

[Muser]

We are on the first wake up here. I say we, husband is asleep and I'm not convinced the feeding happening here is genuine. Was hoping her immunisations along with swimming might have knocked her out. Seems unlikely.

Hope your night improves Dorcas, and good luck to everyone else.

[WeAreBorg]

Hello all and welcome dorcas. I know what you mean about the RL mums, when DS was at his worst (30min wakings and up at about 5) I just couldn't bear to talk to anyone. And the bad nights made him a grump in the day, really difficult to settle at night etc etc.

DS does seem to be slowly improving and actually seems to be getting back to his pre-regression pattern. It's not every night but then he was never really great back then TBH. I really think the week of long enforced naps in the car when we were on hols helped as he is lovely in the day now, hardly cries. I think he had got massively overtired and it was a vicious circle. Maybe, maybe not, could just be him, who knows?

Last night was good - there is hope!! - muser and dorcas, 7-1, then 4, then awake at 530. DH tried all things to settle him, ended up feeding him but that didn't send him to sleep but he did take a quite a lot despite a big feed at 4. Tried putting him in bed with us but kept singing so put in own room and next clock watch was 745!

He did cry at about 10 though (one of his usual wake up times) but I left him and he settled (only cried for a minute or so, and not proper screams or anything). I'd be happy with a baby who wakes up 2-3 times a night, I know that's a crap goal but after this hell that would do me, he can do this till he's at school!

[Bet01]

Morning all, welcome Dorcas. Sorry you're here!
Hmm, things aren't great at the moment are they? DS is tired and grumpy because he has a cold so didn't sleep brilliantly: 10-12.30, 1-4, then snacking and grumbling on and off.
Off to the chemists for nose stuff now. D'oh.

[Bet01]

Sorry Borg messages crossed. That's great news! How long was it would you say before you started seeing improvements? Last week I thought things were happening but sadly back to square one now.

[WeAreBorg]

bet probably past 2 weeks slow improvements, like a good night followed but 2 bad, then couple average nights etc. TBH anything is better than the hourly wake-up hell that preceded all this, so I consider a good night anything that contains 2x3 hours stretches, and a great night one where he sleeps till near to 7! Our worst bit was when he had a cold and I think that started the whole saga off, sorry to say - we tried the saline spray, putting him in steamy bathroom (not nice in the heat but worked!), and bowel of boiling water with a drop of olbas oil in.
Also Bet we don't have a great standard to improve to if that makes sense! I

[Bet01]

Thanks Borg, we've had a couple of good-ish nights in the past week, plus one 5 hour stretch (bliss). Like you we didn't have a massively high standard to start with. DS would do 10-3, half hour bf, then 3.30-5, and 5.30-7.30. The other real difference is he used to self settle in his bedside cot until 5am.
Funny how you say a cold sparked it off. Ours started with a trip to my parents, which was his first car trip and took 6 hours so he probably slept loads more than he should've. Then a night in a strange house for the first time coupled with too much daytime sleep and lo and behold he woke hourly. And things have been rubbish since.
I wonder if there's always a catalyst? Not that it helps now!

[Muser]

We'd had a cold and an ongoing blocked nose problem here, followed by a genuine growth spurt, and it all went downhill from there. I recommend the electric vaporisers for blocked noses. We got one in Boots and it definitely helped relieve the stuffed nose.

Well, my girl is currently asleep in her cot in her own room. Last night was so bad I stopped looking at the clock or counting wake ups. I have no idea how often she was up. But enough to make me decide I couldn't wait until the weekend to move her into her own room. Not convinced her room is going to stay dark enough for her when the sun comes up, but we'll see what happens.

[ChopMonster]

Someone please shoot me. Last night was the worst in a long time. 7.30-8.30, 11.30, 12.40, 2.20, 4.40, 6, 7.20. DH settled him at 11.30 and 6 which was great but I still feel like a zombie this morning. He had a big feed every time I went in as well so he must've been hungry. Wondering if his teeth are bothering him because he wouldn't feed before bed (hence the 8.30 wakeup). I am so tired of this. I've tried settling without feeding but he just ends up waking 30 minutes later anyway.

Welcome Dorcas, it never seems as bad during the day does it? I always think "oh I'll just go with the flow" but come night time I end up thinking of 'things to try' and wanting to throw myself out the window.

How was everyone's night?

[Muser]

That sounds rough Chop, I hope you get a better night tonight.

Our night was another dreadful one. The room move made no difference at all.

[brownrabbit]

Hi everyone and welcome (and sorry you're here!) Dorcas. I'm quite excited to report that we've now had around 5 good nights in a row, with last night being an amazing 12.30 - 7.20 stretch! I can hardly believe it. Of course I woke up at 5.15 and couldn't get back to sleep, but I'm not complaining! The main changes seem to have been: we're not at home (so I may be rejoining the realms of the sleepless when we return), she's started eating better in the day (or possibly I'm force-feeding her...!), and she's found her thumb to suck. Not something I had been keen to encourage... but bring it on I say!

Sorry that bad nights seem to be the general order of the day though. I'm now feeling pretty lucky that we only had a couple of weeks of the really bad stuff, though I'm not gonna count my chickens just yet. Will report back soon, in the meantime, good luck all.

[WeAreBorg]

muser and chop sorry for the bad nights, I remember going to get some cake (I deserved it!) from nearby shop, and the lady asked me how many times he was up that night (had winged to her before), and burst into tears going I CAN'T EVEN COUNT THEM.
rabbit get off this thread! That's brilliant, well done, really hope it lasts and you are over this nonsense.

We had a good night in general, 7-1 as usual which is great, but he woke up every 2 hours after that and awake at 5. Me and DH both tried to get him back to sleep, but only went back at 645 for 45mins.

Bet yes I blame the cold and 16 week jabs for everything!

Chop I know what you mean and about trying things, I've tried force feeding but he just ends up snacking then the snacking continues into the night so I think it's better to space out day feeds for us anyway. He does seem to feed a lot at each wake up though.

[Bet01]

Oh dear everyone, sorry to hear about your bad nights. Except you Rabbit, that's brilliant news. And Borg too, sounds like a good night to me!
We're about the same. Asleep 10-1am, then looked at the clock at 4.30am but I had fed him before then, then snacking from 5-6.30am. Considering he's got a cold I don't think that's too awful.
I'm concentrating on getting his naps right this week, and this morning his did 8.45-12.15, but I fed him every hour, he just kept falling back to sleep so figured he must need it. He's certainly super happy today.
Sent DP to get plug in decongestant today, hopefully it'll help tonight.

[DorcasB]

Hi, this is my umpteenth time of trying to post a message. Every time I try to do so she wakes up, either napping on me or in the cot upstairs. Its like she knows I'm talking about her... Am currently feeding her back to sleep, this is wake up number two after putting her to bed at 7.15. Feeling as now, not only are my nights broken but increasingly I have no evening either. At one point I could at least rely on her to have a good stretch of sleep in the evening and I got a bit of a break, but now it just feels totally relentless again. I feel guilty saying that as I love her to bits and love being with her- would just like a teensy bit of time to relax in the day though. Also my cat has gone missing which isn't helping.
Right, I have extracted my nipple from her mouth, might try and put her back in the cot so I can finish my dinner. Best of luck tonight everyone!

[Muser]

I could have written most of your post Dorcas. Mine went to sleep at 9pm today, she has been doing 8pm but I think moving rooms has thrown her a bit. She woke up at 10pm in an entirely predictable way. I fed her back to sleep and should now go to sleep myself. I predict I will be back sometime between midnight and 1am.

She was so smiley and happy today that I had to just laugh along with her, but I feel so despondent the rest of the time. It's my birthday next week and my husband is trying to get ideas for celebrating it for me. But I just don't have the energy. It's just going to be another day where I don't get enough sleep and still have to look after a baby all day long.

God I'm starting to get pissed off with myself for being so down. I want to give myself a slap! Must adopt some positive thinking. Maybe she'll surprise me tonight.