4 month sleep regression- light at the end of the tunnel

[nearlymumofone]

I posted here a while back about the hell i was goig through with the 4 month sleep regression. And it really was hell. However I've been meaning to post here to let anyone going through it know there is light at the end of the tunnel. DS hit it at 16 weeks, and it lasted till 6 months, with the worst weeks being form 16-20 weeks. I was EBF at the time and I think this actually didn't help the sleep sitruation, at 5 months i introduced solids and a bottle, he was established on solids by 6 months and ff and slept through the night without waking. I can't tell whether the formula or solids helped, whether it was either or both, but his sleeping well coincided with him being well satisfied and full (he was very poor at bf and not gaining weight so it wasn't going well at hence i gave in at 5 months). We also introduced a blankie which was a godsend and put him in his own room. All of which seemed to positively contribute to him sleeping well. Maybe the regression would have passed without us doing these things, however they seemed to work well for us. Now DS is 9 months and unless he's ill/teething sleeps through the night (from 6.30-6.30 ish).

I just wanted to give hope to anyone going through it at the minute that it will get better.

[Muser]

11.30-5am stretch here last night. She didn't want to go back to sleep after that but I left her and next thing it was 9am. I hope tonight is good because I went out for the day without her and there have been cocktails.

[Bet01]

Excellent nap Borg! and Muser, sounds like progress is being made. Really glad there's some good news.
Not so good here unfortunately. DS wouldn't sleep for his last nap again yesterday so was hysterical and overtired later on. Couldn't do his new bedtime routine of bath, etc as he would have been very cross by the time he got put to bed. So ended up having a late nap at 8pm then pjs on and sleep at 9.30pm. He was asleep by 10pm (bf to sleep and in bed with us, sigh) then woke at 12, 1.15, 2.15, 3.15 and after that nibbled constantly until 6am. My lovely DP took him for a walk for 2 hours after that while I slept.
I felt really down about things yesterday too. Just very tired, bored of being by myself with DS constantly, and thinking how unfair it is that my DS doesn't sleep. I mean, even 3 or so hours together I would consider a good night. Plus depressed that my friend is busy decorating his DS' new room which he'll be moving in to now he's 6 months. I can't even move a few inches away from DS in our bed, let alone put him in his cot or even his own room. He literally has to have his hand on my arm and his face on my boob all night.
Sometimes I feel so trapped by it all.
End of rant, sorry!

[WeAreBorg]

Muser wow!
Bet I know, I have days when I think I'll look back on this fondly when he's a teen and doesn't need me for anything. Now that I'm thinking about weaning, I got a bit sad that eventually our cuddly feeds will stop and he'll be getting all his meals off a plate in a few months, and that I quite like that he needs me to feed, sleep, etc. and that I am everything to him. Other days I see my friends will their 7-7 sleepers going out in the evenings unlike me who starts to panic if I'm not in my PJs by 930, and feel really resentful. I guess if anything, I know I can look back and know that I did everything I could for him, never left him etc. which most people probably think is a bit pathetic but I am his mum and he'll never be a tiny baby again. But on the other hand rants are good and necessary and tomorrow I'll probably think completely differently (as usual, change my view everyday!).

[carolynandjack]

I was demented with my boy when he was 4/5 months he began waking up every 2 hrs and wouldnt go back to sleep unless he was fed. I decided to do controlled crying i know some people think its cruel but it only took 4 nights and he was sleeping through. I didnt withdraw the feeds completely but didnt give them to him when he was crying, i gave him a 'dream bottle' then after a week or so i withdrew them as he didnt need it, it was just habit. He is now 7 months old and has a good bedtime routine he has a rusk with milk, bath and bottle he always falls to sleep with his bottle and i just pop him in his cot, he sleeps for 12 hours every night (sometimes longer) and manages to settle himself when he wakes... I wish id done this earlier its just a case of learning your baby to settle without attention and food. Hope this helps xx

[Muser]

Last night was ok as well. Later to bed as she fell asleep for a long time late in the afternoon (was taken swimming which always wipes her out). Not too late though, in bed just after 8pm. Woke at 11.30pm for a feed, then out until 4.30ish, and up at 7.30am.

I really hope this continues.

[Bet01]

Thanks Borg, you're right. All I need is a slightly better night and I feel optimistic again! Sat and Sun night were better actually. Felt like I got more sleep. We've started getting DS ready for bed earlier now so he's not so overtired and is in bed by 9pm. Which means me and DP are too as he won't sleep on his own! But it gives us the chance for an extra hour's kip anyway. Funnily enough it makes no difference to his getting up time. In fact Sat night was asleep at 9pm and awake at 7.45am (obviously with many wakings in between but still...)

[Muser]

Glad you've had some better nights Bet they really do make all the difference.

Another good night last night. 8pm-12pm and then through until half four and up at half seven.

[haloflo]

Just checking in to say no good news here, still 2 hourly with awake periods when she fills her nappy and won't go back down.

muser Glad you've had a couple of good nights, hope they continue.

DD has fallen asleep at 6 again. Guess i'll be calling half 8 bedtime tonight as the risks of awake time and an early rising are high.

Socialising in the evening borg? I hope one day we will all be able to. I've booked tickets for a gig in October. DD will be 6 1/2 months. Please please let me able to leave her for 4/5 hours by then!

[Bet01]

Morning all. Muser, glad things are going well. Haloflo I'll let you know where we are when DS is 6 1/2 months, he's 22 weeks now so not that long to go. I know they're all different anyway though..
Another early night here last night. In bed at 8.30 but took until 9.15 to get DS to sleep. He gets overtired and giddy despite my best nap efforts, and in the end I just lie on the bed with him until he wriggles, squeaks and smiles his way to sleep. Feeding to sleep is working leas and less-yikes.
After that he woke at 10.45, 11.15, but then hardly at all until 6am and we got up at 7am. I can't believe he slept 6 or so hours straight, but I've obviously forgotten the wakings so they must have been minimal.
I always know if I've had a good night because I've dreamt!

[WeAreBorg]

Halo nightmare. DS pooed round the clock until 17 weeks and now goes for days without one, very stinky farts though!
bet brilliant stretch, who cares how many times he woke if you slept through it anyway, he may have managed the whole stretch too!
muser sounds as though things are getting consistently better (hope I havent jinxed things for you)

We have had a good few days. Last night was brilliant, bed at 7, DH rocked him for a bit at about 730 then slept till 3!, then till 7! I woke up numerous times for wees, sore boobs, wondering if he was alive etc so feel tired today but very happy especially as we had 90 minute wakenings last week. Just shows how bizarre these babies are

[Bet01]

Borg that's fantastic. A normal night's sleep (if you hadn't been awake for lots of other reasons!)
We had the best night in 8 weeks last night. We bought DS a mobile for his bedside cot and he lay transfixed by it for ages. He nodded off but jerked awake twice. Took him into bed at 10 in the end and he slept til 2am! Then from 2.15 to 5.45! He then nibbled until 7am. So much longer stretches, plus he self-settled in his cot, even though he woke up again it's a definite start.
He fell asleep for his morning nap without a boob in his mouth too.
Brilliant!

[WeAreBorg]

That's great bet! Massive progress, they just get there in their own time don't they?
We were back to 2 hourly wakings last night but I think he might have been hot as his window has accidentally got painted shut! He also missed his lunchtime nap (if you can count 30mins as a nap!) so maybe that was why, who knows. I'm going to end up a recluse I think as I have got a bit paranoid about naps - he couldn't sleep yesterday as I was at a buggy exercise class and he usually sleeps in the pram but the park was really noisy with the children being off school. I also missed my morning class as he was napping so slightly concerned I am becoming a slave to his "routine". Good luck for tonight....

[Muser]

It's lovely to hear about good nights. Bit weird here the other night. I decided to do a dream feed as she'd been waking at 12/12.30pm and I just found that really hard. So I woke her at 11pm and fed her before going to bed.

And she woke up at 12.30pm anyway. Went to sleep for half an hour, woke up again. Went to sleep for 20 mins, woke up again. And then she slept until 7am! Woke up, went back to sleep for an hour and a half. Weird.

Last night she woke up at 11pm anyway so no dream feed, and I didn't really look at the clock but she was up twice before 7am. Think she was doing 3 hourly cycles. Given how hot it was last night I thought that was pretty good.

I also managed to get 2 naps in the cot today which is the first time ever. One of them was an hour long!

I wouldn't worry too much about becoming a slave to routine Borg. I figure do what you have to do to make this bearable and then try and iron out the creases later.

[WeAreBorg]

Well done muser. We've been managing cot naps in the morning, which is great after DS being a die-hard pram napper for so long, so nice not to traipse out first thing isn't it?

We had a similar thing last night, he needed quite a bit of resettling from 7-1030 but after that feed he made it till 5. Up for the day then unfortunately and he has refused to nap since so not sure what's going to happen now

[Bet01]

I agree with Muser, I'll be a slave to routine at the moment if it makes my life easier!
Glad things seem to be improving overall. The last couple of nights here have continued to be much better, even with the hot weather. DS was very sick yesterday, luckily we were already at the doc's waiting to see the HV, but he went so pale I was really worried. Luckily doc said he's fine, just swallowed too much phlegm and brought it back up-yum! Anyway, he was very quiet all day after that and went to bed at 9.30 easily. Woke on and off until about 10.30pm, so another one that's getting hard to settle. But then woke at 2am, 3.30am, 5.50am and finally 6.45am with DP's getting up time. Not too bad at all!
Funnily enough his morning nap is getting shorter-sometimes he could go for 3 hours, but is down to 1.5 now, which makes complete sense if he's sleeping better at night.

[Muser]

How is everyone getting on? Definite improvement here. I actually did a dream feed last night. She ended up doing 7.20pm-11pm (dream feed), then 11.20pm-4.50am, 5.20am-8.30am. WOO HOO!

I hope everyone is seeing improvement and that's why it's so quiet here.

[Greenwagon]

My DD went through this at exactly 4 months and it was hell for 6 weeks - but it does pass. It's hard but patience is needed and now at 11 months she does 11 hours every night. Have heart - it doesn't last forever!

[Bee72]

Bit of a random message here but I just thought I'd write in case any of you mums we're still using mums net. My little one is currently going through 4 month sleep regression (it started at 3 months and has lasted 2 months so far) and I'm wondering how/when it ended for some of you and what your thoughts/suggestions are looking back a year later. I'm totally going through everything you all describe!

[optionalintegration]

Hi Bee72, I wasn't on the original thread but, like you, I dug it up to look at during DD's 4-month regression!
She also started at 3 months and really it went on until she was about 19/20 weeks. At the time, I hated hearing things like 'it will pass' etc. etc., I simply did not believe that it ever would. She was (still is) breastfed, and she was needy and waking constantly throughout the night because she couldn't self-settle.

Time helped - she got a bit better on her own, I remember the exact night it happened because DP and I were at my parents'; I put her down to bed, and went back to the kitchen, and DP and I WERE ABLE TO EAT DINNER WITH MY PARENTS. As in a full, long, dinner! She did continue to wake lots for several weeks after that but once I sensed she was improving I tried to encourage it in different ways.

I taught her to self-settle by using the pram. She was good at going off to sleep in the pram when we were out walking, so I figured she could do it in the kitchen, too. I zipped her into her snowsuit (it was winter), and basically threw every sleep prop available at her apart from the boob. White noise, comforter, 'trigger sleep'music, and vigorous rocking. She'd whinge a bit and eventually drop off. Once she was dropping off without whinging, I started to take away one sleep prop at a time. First I took away the trigger music, and then I stopped rocking the pram as soon as she was asleep. And then I stopped rocking the pram at all - just put her in pram and she went off by herself.

Then I transferred her to the cot and zipped her into grobag to recreate the snowsuit effect :) In cot with trigger music, white noise and comforter. She took to this better than I could have hoped, and soon I didn't have to bother with the trigger music. The white noise is handy, though, I think it makes them sleep for longer.

I'm not sure if any of this helps. Top tip is to introduce a comforter, esp. if you're breastfeeding, and create an identical routine for sleep. It'll take a while to kick in but it will eventually.

Haven't yet had to resort to CC or CIO, thankfully, but she's only 6 months, she could regress again!

[Bee72]

Thank you for sharing! Sadly my lo rarely sleeps in her pram either. Itr 's good to know you perseverance paid of, though. I'll try to be a bit more creative/persistant!

[emmabubbles]

i'm so tired would love to read all of the above messages for some help but am tired and just can't my little girl has gone from being a fantastic sleeper 7-3 or 8-4 sometimes 6 hours stints she is now 14.5 weeks. and has suddenly decided waking every 2.5 hours she was 2 weeks late so think it is probably this sleep regression. she is feeding at every wake up BF but naps well during the day 2 sometimes 3, 2-3 hour sleeps. any suggestions greatly appreciated

[Cheery1]

My DS had his 16 week jabs on Thurs (he's actually 17 weeks). He's had disturbed sleep for about a week anyway, after being really good up to then but since the jabs he's been so unsettled. He's awake at 1.30am ready to play. Wanting feed constantly then he's grumpy and tired in the day. He's a bit pale today too. Wondering if this is a developmental phase or the jabs? Anyone had experience of this?! Currently hanging in there but really hoping this isn't a permanent personality change!

[chelseabidwell1994]

I know this is an old post but my baby is 4 months now and she was sleeping 8-5ish now she's only sleeping 8:30-12:30 I'm so tired I don't know why her sleeping pattern has changed all of a sudden but when I look at the baby monitor she's eating her hand perhaps milk isn't enough anymore can anyone help me or give me some tips ??