4 month sleep regression- light at the end of the tunnel

[nearlymumofone]

I posted here a while back about the hell i was goig through with the 4 month sleep regression. And it really was hell. However I've been meaning to post here to let anyone going through it know there is light at the end of the tunnel. DS hit it at 16 weeks, and it lasted till 6 months, with the worst weeks being form 16-20 weeks. I was EBF at the time and I think this actually didn't help the sleep sitruation, at 5 months i introduced solids and a bottle, he was established on solids by 6 months and ff and slept through the night without waking. I can't tell whether the formula or solids helped, whether it was either or both, but his sleeping well coincided with him being well satisfied and full (he was very poor at bf and not gaining weight so it wasn't going well at hence i gave in at 5 months). We also introduced a blankie which was a godsend and put him in his own room. All of which seemed to positively contribute to him sleeping well. Maybe the regression would have passed without us doing these things, however they seemed to work well for us. Now DS is 9 months and unless he's ill/teething sleeps through the night (from 6.30-6.30 ish).

I just wanted to give hope to anyone going through it at the minute that it will get better.

We were back to waking every 2 hours last night. I want some consistent improvement!

Belly, I know what you mean about trying stuff and it just working. I do get stuck doing what I've always done with DS. You sort of get scared to try new stuff sometimes, I think. DS has always hated his buggy but I've stopped using it now and really I should keep trying him now and again.
Poor you Muser, it's so disheartening when that happens isn't it? We had 7 nights that were better (comparatively) but last night was back to waking every hour. So, DP and I have decided we're going to give DS a proper bedtime tonight: 7pm bath, story and feed in bedroom. We're then going to put him in his cot and see what happens. We won't let him cry so if he doesn't settle we'll leave it.
My friend has just taken his DS to America for a week (he's 6 months) and he had a bad first few nights, and part of me was a bit happy because now he knows what it's like (his DS sleeps pretty well.) But then on the last two nights he texts me to say 'DS slept 11 hours last night!' Life is so, so unfair.

Evening all. Was going to post last week to say things were going well and I was going to wish you all well and leave the thread but sadly the past 5 nights have been as bad as it ever was! Not sure if I should be here as I am pretty sure we did make it through the regression as we did have a reasonable spell there.
No idea what to do now, I had stupidly thought the things we did made a difference - we brought bedtime forward to 7pm, took him out in the pram for a nap 2 hours after he'd last woken, put him in his own room and had a proper routine (EASY type thing every 3 hours), but no! Nothing has changed and he is just the same as he was back then.
So not convinced we are still regression, pretty sure DS is an incurable bad sleeper despite my best efforts and I think I will have to change tactic and just make the best of it. Past 2 days have tried Bets feed to sleep and nap in bed (sod the routine!) and he has had a much longer nap than he usually managed and hooray! at least it is one nap that is in bed rather than in the pram so I can have a rest.
Right he has already woken up once tonight for a feed and can hear him starting again now. Rubbish.

Morning all. Borg, poor you. Must be so irritating to have progress and then a few bad nights. No words of advice really, but I'm glad the nap thing is working. I do it every day and I think it's the only way I've stayed sane!
We did our new routine yesterday: bath at 7pm, into dark bedroom, pjs and bf. I put him in his cot drowsy twice but gave up at 8.30 and brought him back down. We watched telly on silent in the dark though, and DS fell asleep on me at 9pm. Took him to bed at 9.30pm and straight to sleep, then woke at 12.30, 3.45, 6, and then dozed until 7.30. This is our best night for 7 weeks!
Routine was probably just coincidence, but he also bounced loads in his jumperoo which maybe tired him out. Not sure.
We'll see what happens tonight.
NB I've been reading alot on the kellymom.com website and it's really reassuring on bf, feeding to sleep and cosleeping, if any of you fancy a read.

Sorry to hear things have got worse again Borg. Maybe it's a blip caused by teething or a bug or something? Ever hopeful me.

Last night was just weird. Bed at 7.15pm (this appears to be new bedtime). Awake at 9.30, 1.30, 4.30 and 6am. Thought she probably wouldn't go back to sleep after that, but she slept until 9am. I'd happily trade some night wakings for an earlier start.

Muser that night sounds good overall but know what you mean about the waking up late. My DS is doing the same, although not as late as yours so I'm not too bothered.
Another good night last night. Bed at 10, awake at 12.30, 4.30, 5.30 and 8am. He's always restless after 4.30 though and if he slept better he'd probably wake at 7am. The last couple of hours he was totally dead to the world.
Anyway overall much better. Hope it continues.

I've had a tough few days, with night feeds getting worse and worse with her gnawing butnot feeding properly. She can be impossible to resettle in the night so i've been trying to feed her even though not convinced she's always hungry. Last night tried new tactic: no feeding before midnight. Wasn't sure what to do if she woke at 10 but luckily it was 11.30 so I just held her for half an hour while she mostly cried but almost fell asleep. Anyway I then fed her and she happily settled herself back to sleep and didn't wake again til 4.20 when I fed her again and back to sleep til 6.15. No extra rolling over! Only problem is I have a terrible cold and sore throat so couldn't sleep!

Weird nap thismorning. She's been asleep for 1hr15 so far but first 45 she was barely under, basically had to shush her and stop her hands reaching to rub her eyes every 5 mins!

Yesterday was a nap nightmare though so this has felt like an improvement. 18 weeks today... Surely things will improve soon

That sounds promising fifi, hope your cold goes soon so you can enjoy it!
Muser I've found if he wakes up 1-2 times he will wake up very very early! If he is up all night we get a lie-in. I want both!!!
Bet ooh that sounds better, really hope you get some improvement you really deserve it.

We started okish, 2x3hours until about 130 then didn't settle. He was screeeching! Not crying, I'm not even sure he was distressed I think he may like doing it but I really can't sleep through it. Tried putting his soother on which stopped it but then started again as soon as it stopped. Brought him into bed and no idea of number of wake ups but was a lot. I don't think he sleeps well with me but I can't be bothered getting up. We made it till 7am which is good for him, and managed a 45min nap in bed just now.

My no-cry sleep solution has arrived so will see if any tips there.....I think a lot of it is getting them to go to sleep alone but he quite often does that, and drifted off peacefully himself last night so am hoping there are other tips.

Forgot to say thanks bet the stuff on kellymom makes me feel better!

You're welcome Borg. I never thought I'd be the attatchment parenting type, but DS has just dictated it really. He hates his buggy so have to sling him everywhere, hates his cot so in bed with us, and needs to be physically touching me for all his naps so I have to sleep too! At least kellymom is quite reassuring about the rod for your back brigade (like MIL!) luckily my dad's an old hippy so he totally agrees with it, and it's how I was raised and I'm not mental (well, depends who you ask.)

Gah! Terrible night last night. Bed at 9.45, awake at 12, 1.45, and after that almost constant nibbling til 6am. Shattered!
He was very over-tired yesterday as he missed his last nap. Sure that didn't help. Going to focus on naps today.
Very, very tired now...

Sorry to hear that bet, good luck with the naps today, hope you manage to get some sleep too.
We weren't much better sadly. I really hope I'm not still on a 4 month regression thread when I have a 5 year old! The nibbling didn't start till about 4am so not terrible but he was up for the day at 530.
Met someone today who said she had an awful sleeper up every hour, she left him for a weekend with her DH and never asks what they did but he slept through ever since! Don't ask don't tell may be the way forward......

Hi all, I understand the tears here. I go days when I accept the wakings to days when I really feel I can't cope. My bf support group are really keeping me going at the moment as there is no let up. Every night feels rubbish here, it's a celebration if she goes straight back down after each waking and as they are every 1.5-2 hours at the moment there is usually one awake period each night. However I have taken to ignoring her when this happens and sometimes she falls back to sleep herself (after a little milk) which feels like a step forward. I need to focus on the positives and not the negatives and one day when I'm ready I might look into sleep training. For now it's not for me, I'm too emotional I think. Plus who knows - she might sleep better when she is through the regression.

Sorry to here that no one is getting any consistent improvement. Kellymom (as always) is brilliant - thanks for the recommendation. Sorry to not name check buy it's hard on the iPad.

I was considering early weaning but am too worried about the risks. I am sticking to just milk for now. (17 weeks)

We're all having a bad time aren't we? I guess we can take comfort in it not just being us. I was so low yesterday and exhausted that I couldn't bring myself to do anything or speak much to my DH. We had a better night last night though so I'm feeling better today. My mood is so dependent on her sleep.

Tonight bedtime is proving a struggle. I have no idea why. Hope she falls asleep soon as I am so hungry and need dinner.

We are in this together. I'm so glad MN exists, imagine if my only baby knowledge was from books and baby groups where every baby is a "good sleeper"!?

muser I feel for my DP, I must be no fun to live with. We eat early here as my DP is usually home for half 5 at the latest. I hate trying to settle her when hungry. It makes me impatient! After she is in bed I get the chocolates out. I hope she goes down soon.

She went down at 8pm. DH went and got fish & chips. My diet is shocking at the moment. I'd quite like some chocolate now.

We are in this together halo. I too feel sorry for my other half, I am a bit of a misery and take it out on him. But sometimes I just get so frustrated that we're in this feeding to sleep thing so it is always me who has to do the resettling. But when we try to do something else she just gets more and more upset, so we're stuck with me doing it and feeling pissed off about it.

The thing which really bothers me right now is when I get upset with DD. It's not her fault, I try my hardest not to lose my rag but I just want to scream when I've spent 45 mins trying to get her to nap when she's clearly tired and she just won't go down. I didn't mind holding her in my arms at 6 weeks but now she's 15lb my back and wrists just aren't up to the level of jiggling required. I feel like a terrible mum and a complete failure when I get angry... I suppose admitting that I do is the first step towards working out how to stop. Muser I am so with you about mood being dependent on sleep. I too do 90% of resettling, DH only does it when I can cope no longer, but he suffers worse than me from lack of sleep and is worried he'll fail his performance review this year coz he's done no work!

DD has been on her tummy for 1.5 hours - I'm expecting she won't go much longer before waking up...

Hmm it's not going very well at the moment is it?! Did anyone have a better night? Ours was slightly better, I think. Can't really remember but it didn't feel quite as bad. We had those two good nights earlier in the week and I got so excited. Managed to get DS to have his naps yesterday which helped I think. He's fighting them more and more though. I was so tired yesterday and feeding him to sleep on the bed just didn't work. Ended up traipsing miles round East London with an 18lb baby strapped to me, feeling very sorry for myself!
My DP is fantastic help, but like others have said he can't settle DS like I can, so I end up doing most of it. It just feels so never-ending.
Right, 2nd nap on the bed has failed, so better get the Ergo Baby out again. God, at least I've lost weight with all this walking. Thinner now than before I had DS, despite mammoth cake habit!

Last night was ok here. Slept from 8pm until 12.30. Then 3 and finally 7.30am. Heard her shout twice at about 10pm but she must have either still been asleep or fallen asleep pretty quick.

Thanks for all your kind words everyone. Sorry to have gone AWOL, just felt too exhausted and fed up with the whole sleep situation to even post about it. Not much improvement really, except I am now trying to settle her in the cot before she falls properly fast asleep in the hope this makes a difference. Last night she slept from half seven to half twelve- five hours! She hadn't had such a long stretch of sleep for months. Tonight... it's taken seven attempts to put her in the cot. She's now there and making crying noises in her sleep ( ) so who knows. I bloody knew that yesterday was a one off fluke though...
Sorry to hear that we are all still struggling. Things have to improve eventually don't they? Before they reach their teens?
bet I too have an ergo and trudge round the streets of west London in it. It has been a complete lifesaver for me, as it is the best way I know of getting her to nap.

I have a Kari-me and can be found walking the streets of South East London. Looks like we have the whole city covered!

Sorry found it a little bit funny thinking of you all wandering about different bits of London. We do 4 pram trips a day on average so no better here, DS does well in his bjorn with DH but never seems that comfy with me so pushchair it is.
Today started off well with his longest nap in recent memory, a whopping 1hr10. Other naps were about 20mins and he has already woken once tonight and I can hear him start now. Worse, he had a titchy 4pm feed, zero at 7pm, and tiny bit at 930 or whenever I picked him up last, so I think he's basically got used to feeding all night. I'm so unimpressed.
muser and dorcas last night was better, hope it continues.

Met up with some friends who are amazed that I have neither weaned him yet (he is nearly 5.5months) nor tried controlled crying. Everyone seems to think I have backward boy who can't even eat or sleep. Going to try the food anyway, at least he'll be getting something in the day if he doesn;t want milk.

V.amusing about the London trudging! Maybe one day we'll walk so far we'll all bump into each other.
Borg, it's so depressing when people are surprised about DC's sleep isn't it? It's all very well reading Kellymom and reassuring yourself that it's all normal, but other people's babies sleep much better, even bf ones, and that's what's worse. I just think 'why me?' But then all babies are different, I know.
Last night was ok I think. 10.15-12.15, then woke up every hour-ish until 6.50am. But he didn't toss and turn in between so I got some good sleep.
He's had a THREE hour nap this morning too. He's woken up in a very good mood.

Hello everyone, sorry to see you're all still here. What I said about not having problems getting dd to nap... please scrap that. She has been a nightmare all week, the sling/bouncing combo no longer seems to have the same magic effect it did have so I too have taken to having two long pram walks during the day and one period of us going to bed together and I let her suckle to sleep. I miss last week already! Night time is either good (1 x 4hr followed by 1 x 3hr then 2 x 1hr) or terrible (waking every 1.5-2hrs). There appears to be no rhyme or reason.

I'm feeling fairly calm about it all today which is surprising as dp has been away with work the last three days so I've been on my own. I think I'm running on nervous energy alone :)

Oh, and I bought a baby bjorn baby sitter after reading rave reviews about babies magically falling asleep in them. It didn't work.

belly the number of things I have bought hoping they'll be the magic solution - slumber bears, lambskins etc, I think they just work for babies that would have slept anyway!

Okay here, nights not the best but getting better. After 4am still hopeless but the rest is okay. Main improvement has been naps - past 3 days or so he has been having longer and longer morning naps all by himself (no pram!!) and today was 9-11. I didn't know what to do with myself, hasn't done one that long for months.

Hope the rest of you have some good news to report?! [hopeful]