newborn sleep nightmare, officially desperate

[ExistentialistCat]

2 week-old DD2 just won't settle in her crib at night at all. She'll sleep in her moses basket during the day quite happily, though. I've tried all the usual tricks (warming the mattress, swaddling, making a little nest out of a rolled-up blanket etc etc etc). We end up co-sleeping out of necessity but I don't want to, I don't get any sleep like that, and I'm not sure it's safe because DH and I are so extremely dopey now.

I'm averaging 2 hours sleep a night (not all in one chunk) and I just don't know how I can continue like this. I also have a 15 month-old DD1 and it's so unfair on her that I'm a permanently bf-ing zombie during the day.

Does all this settle on its own at the magic 6 week mark or is there something we could do to encourage DD2 to sleep in her crib? How do I survive the next 4 weeks? How much of an influence might bf-ing have, and could a night time bottle of formula help (I ff DD1 and don't remember the sleep issues being quite this bad in the early weeks)?

Can I join? Was going to post essentially the same thing. DD1 is 2 weeks and does the same: sleeps great in day and feeds with big gaps and as soon as evening comes she won't settle and demands bf ing, although I think it's just for fun as she doesn't seem that hungry! This goes on til early hours then sometimes we get more than hourly gaps, last night 45min gaps (max) til now.

The only things that appeared to work (but may have been pure luck as not managed to replicate yet!) were putting tv and lights on in bedroom, she seemed to settle a bit but didn't help us sleep much. Also White noise app on iPhone has torrential rain sounds: first time turned it on was like magic, both her and us straight off for a couple of hours! Last night wouldn't work though :(

We were given one of those slumber bear things with womb sounds yesterday, but no luck with it at mo but will post about that and see if anyone has any tips on Using it effectively...

I don't know if this will be helpful at all ladies, but DD2 now 4 months, was very windy and refluxy at night. I found that carefully spacing her feeds during the day really helped. I think it was roughly 7, 10ish, small one at 12ish, 3ish one boob at 5, the final one after bath at 6.45ish. I also found that a warm bath really helped. She's not perfect by any means but it certainly helped!
Good luck....

Cat - I don't think there is any way to know if formula feeding would make a difference exceopt by switching to it and then you have to go through all the faff of changing and getting her to take it and dealing with your own supply and then it still may make no difference and you'll be up at 2am trying to do bottles. Tbh with evertything I've read about how you can't make the bottles in advance and you must add boiling water - I've no idea how anyone manages that!
My friend used to express through the day then go to bed in the evening whilst her husband used the expressed milk to do the last feed. Then she'd had at least a couple of hours for when she was up in the night.

These early days are very hard but it WILL pass and your toddlers don't feel they are missing out. They have a lovely new baby to poke look at Sit and sit and feed and feed, watch dvds and supply chocolate buttons. You're aiming for feeding/still/nurturing/cuddly mum right now - not leapabouteverywhere and go to soft play mum.

How has everyone's night been? Porca, Bump, Machinist, how are you?

I hardly dare say this out loud but we've had a second night of DD2 sleeping 2 3-hour shifts - this time in her crib! It feels like a miracle but I'm not counting on it lasting.

I know what you mean about DH helping, Machinist - while we're bfing, it's quite hard for them to know how to help, particularly in the night. We have an arrangement whereby I feed and then hand DD over to DH to be settled in her crib (which is on his side of the bed). I feel incredibly lucky that he does this, especially since he's better at it than I am!!

Posted this before I saw the new replies.

Welcome to the club of the desperate, Jennimoo!

Thanks for the ideas, Oranges and Lurker - I particularly like the idea of being still/cuddly mum, although I'm rubbish at being still! And you're probably right about ff but my goodness does it seem tempting in the middle of the night...

Cat - I agree on the ff seeming good in the night, when I start to panic that I'm not satisfying her, but I do think it would be much more faffing.

Planning on trying expressing in day soon for DH to feed early evening, especially as he's back to work tomorrow. Is 2 weeks too early do you think? She's been latching ok and my supply seems fine (plenty of leaks when we have longer gaps!)

Oooh can I join too? My lovely DD is 3 weeks tomorrow and she's like a different baby from the day to the night. She sleeps in her pram no problem in the day but at night we're up and down like yo-yo's.

DH has been helping lots when its time to settle her at 10/11 but during the night he sleeps like a log so I get her up. I didn't want to co-sleep and never did it with my DS (2.7) but i'm so bloody tired I just can't do anything else....

The thing that does help us is that I express in the evening and DH gives her a bottle about 10.30ish and that (sometimes) takes her through to about 2 (and even 4am the other night!) and it means I can go to bed and leave him to it (although apparently not tonight..)

Will be watching for any tips but its so nice to know I'm not the only one dizzy with exhaustion out there

Hi new people :)

ok here is a lesson in going to sleep while can. about 8pm dd2 fed off just on boob & zonked out. normally she'll only sleep for a coupke of hours at this point even after both boobs.

debated about whether tp sleep for an hour or stay up & crochet. told dh would try & sleep for half an hour if not asleep i'd get up as she'd be up not long after. half hour later text dh who says stay in bed she is still asleep. manage to get to sleep, wake up at midnight in sweats (yuk) she is still sparko on dh! not sure what to do but i was wide awake by then so have just wafted the boob under her nose and she is feeding. if i had stayed up I would have been gutted!

so always worth going to bed even if it might just be for an hour. although means dh and i barely seeing each other at the moment :(

Hello can I sneak in - my DC are long past the newborn phase (although DS managed to go to bed early and woke up at midnight so I actually haven't gone to bed yet).

Anyway, I just wanted to say that with reference to co-sleeping, I took the side off a (cheap Ikea) cot, tied it to the side of the bed and pushed the mattress up against mine, with rolled up towels on the far side to keep it in place. I would half lie in it to feed DS, he'd drop off and I'd roll back into the main bed. Somehow not having to get up, sit up or put him back made the constant wake-ups better.

No idea if that's of any help, I remember the fug of sleep-deprivation well, it's quite an experience. You all have my sympathies.

Oh, and I agree, grab any bits of sleep you can You're making so many withdrawals from the bank of sleep, make some deposits too!

Hello everyone!

I write this in the middle of my least favourite bit of evening 'routine' - the bit where I've decided that DD2's endless rooting/mouthing/shouting at the nipple without actually sucking is not about hunger but about being overtired and bung her in the sling to calm her down. An hour and a half of on/off screaming/dropping off ensues until she finally gives in and zonks out.

I hate the feeling of helplessness but I know that the best I can do when she gets into this state is just to be there with her while she cries. With DD1 I used to try everything under the sun to stop the crying - nothing made any difference and I ended up exhausted and exasperated.

Roll on toddlerhood!

Btw Bump, I saw your post in the bf forum - it describes exactly how my DD has been feeding. I've also been told that it's normal newborn behaviour designed to stimulate milk production but this is, frankly, scant comfort in the small hours.

Morning

Every 2 hrs last night, including an hour to feed. Can't even sleep in as have to take dd1 to nursery then go to breastfeeding group. This is torture.

Hi d0g btw, sorry you've joined us.

hi all

dont forget infacol!!! each time i use less get a windy night!!! last night for example

best night was when he did almost 4 hours, but sADLY 2-3 HOURLY WAKE UPS ARE the norm

i also go to bed 9pm, as in general this is best sleep stretch!!!

hang on in there, ds is 5 weeks now.....

hello all,
found this thread when searching in desperation after 8.30pm-3.30am marathon feeding session. Good to know that this is fairly normal newborn behaviour (even if none of books seem to mention it) and that not alone - not just in this, but I too have guiltily thought about switching to ff because of the marathon bf sessions and both my dh and I regularly wake up in the night thinking ds is in our bed, when he is in moses basket. Still a complete novice at this parenting thing so no tips to share as yet, just solidarity...

Urgh yes, night sweats are awful. i sleep on a towel but often have to change pjs. really smells too, of sour breast milk.

Still sore on one side, went to bfing group today but still not right :(

oooh yes night sweats are horrid. I don't remember these last time but then I seem to have blocked much of the first few weeks

Had a pretty good night last night - DD slept through from about 11 to 3, woke for a feed and then slept till about 6.30. Trouble is she was in with us from 3 onwards It does mean I don't sleep as well but at least I am sleeping...do worry though but just too tired to do anything else.

Good luck tonight all.

Oh and BFing still painful for me too but it took 5.5 weeks to get pain free feeds from both sides with DS so this is what I'm hanging out for. If the nipples aren't bleeding then I count myself lucky

Hi

Can I join? DD is 18 days, also have ds who is 3.

I mostly formula feed due to several issues.

DD has so far been up since 3pm and still going.....

Am so tired and still having problems from teh birth and have really bad pain in my boob (which she never feeds from) and dh goes back to work on Thu and I feela bit like crying.

Hello everyone! Bumperlicious sent me this way as my dd (5days today) specialises as being a very adorable cause of sleep deprivation!

Will post more later- off to get tongue tie op done today :)

seashells good luck, dd had hers done on friday, it took a second but she was a bit grumpy for a day or two

dd slept 930-0030, 115-430 and 530-730 which im pretty pleased by so it wasnt such a bad night aftyer all. she is now sleeping on me after breastfeeding.

DOG my mum may be helping tomorrow but not sure, she lives 100 miles away and isnt feelng great.

Oh, can I join? I chave 2.5yo ds and 12do twins, who between them sleep & feed all day, and feed & feed all night it seems. I've started to fall asleep during the night feeds - sitting up in a nest of pillows, which surely can't be safe, but I physically am not able to keep myself awake any longer. Didn't want to co sleep, but now if I manage to get them both lying down on our bed and asleep (rather than on me) I consider it a success.

Last night possibly our best so far, as dt1 went up to two hours between feeds, but that was after a marathon 8 hours feedathon from lunchtime to bedtime yesterday.

SSOtSS good luck with the op. ds had this done, and it took a while to relearn how to feed after, but I've heard it can produce almost instant results done this early :)