newborn sleep nightmare, officially desperate

[ExistentialistCat]

2 week-old DD2 just won't settle in her crib at night at all. She'll sleep in her moses basket during the day quite happily, though. I've tried all the usual tricks (warming the mattress, swaddling, making a little nest out of a rolled-up blanket etc etc etc). We end up co-sleeping out of necessity but I don't want to, I don't get any sleep like that, and I'm not sure it's safe because DH and I are so extremely dopey now.

I'm averaging 2 hours sleep a night (not all in one chunk) and I just don't know how I can continue like this. I also have a 15 month-old DD1 and it's so unfair on her that I'm a permanently bf-ing zombie during the day.

Does all this settle on its own at the magic 6 week mark or is there something we could do to encourage DD2 to sleep in her crib? How do I survive the next 4 weeks? How much of an influence might bf-ing have, and could a night time bottle of formula help (I ff DD1 and don't remember the sleep issues being quite this bad in the early weeks)?

lisa thank you.

baps well we've had a bath. Big step for me doing it on my own but cos he'd peed everywhere whilst being changed and it going up his back I thought I should bath him. Went surprisingly well. Prob has a lot to do with him being bigger now.

We had another screaming fit, similar to his reaction to the jabs and now he is asleep on me. HI has not set up the monitors and until he does the boy will stay downstairs with me. Am now debating whether to move him off me. Has been asleep for awhile and sounds deeply so....... Decisions decisions!

Again another unproductive day due to child. Let's hope tmw is better cos I need to sort out my thank you cards. Yes. Still. Shocking I know.

Bumper Ihear you I really do.It is thoroughly exhausting.

Morning!

Last night was better. Only cried/screamed til I got him off to sleep in my arms swaddled at 830ish, he then slept thru til 3. However I think this is a complete fluke and the sleep due to sheer exhaustion.

Ds has also learnt a new scream. A very high pitched shriek. It's utter utter joyous to hear. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I am full of the joys of spring! Left dd downstairs with dh last night and I slept for 8 hours!!!!!

Thank goodness though as last night was another spectacularly shit example of an evening, tried twice to get her down, then she started fussing and refusing to feed so she didn't go down till 1am. Then dh said she woke up at 5am.

Honestly I think that 8 hours is the longest I've slept since before I got pg!

Both kids going for jabs today :(

morning all
bumper i am very envious of your 8 hour kip. you deserve it - here's to many more. hope the jabs go well. i am also taking both dds for jabs tomorrow, and pondering the wisdom of this.

dd2 slept 8pm-12 last night, then up 2 hourly. tbh that's a reasonble night by our pathetic standards .

Excellent news, bump. We had an awful night. All was well, was bathing DS, just got him dressed and he let out a blood-curdling scream and turned purple. On further inspection, turned out his BCG lump had burst and leaked blood and pus down his little arm :(

Looked v sore indeed and he sobbed for hours in our arms before I managed to rock him to sleep at 9pm. Wouldn't let me leave his side though. We'd had to swaddle him with his bad arm out so had to hold his hand all night to stop him from hitting himself in the face. I think he must have woken 5 or 6 times during the night (lost count due to extreme bleariness followed by mounting hysteria). By 5am I'd had 1.5hrs' sleep so DH took over, but is first day back at work today so feel bad for him getting no sleep.

DS is perky today though, and has gone down for naps relatively easily, so hoping his recent unsettledness was due to sore arm and he'll be better now.

Bleurgh.

Good news re bedtime routine, silver. I also did my first solo bath following a pee disaster

Oh poor ds count, and poor you :(. Hope he is ok now.

Jabs went fine for us. Dd2 howled but brave dd1 didn't make a peep (apparently. I was stood in the corridor wincing like a big baby!)

baps glad it's not just me wrt to the bathing.

Tried to put Ds upstairs for nap. Lots of screaming, so fed him, he sucked a bit then nodded off. Got him in his Moses ad he slept for 40mins. Think I woke him by checking on him as the bedroom door squeaks.

bump < envy envy envy >

My sleep was broken cos I fell asleep downstairs and I was awake still at 10pm. Should have known better and both of us gone to bed upstairs at 830!!! Lesson learned!

OMG what are our gorgeous babies doing to us!

I too have to hold my dd for a minimum of half an hour after a feed if she is to go down at all. The longer I hold her the more likely she is to stay down for half N hour or more either day or night :-(

I feel like I am doing absolutely everything the books say not too... Like bringing her down in the evening so one of us can sleep and cos the sound of the tv sometimes settles her.

I feel like such a bad mum, because aside from about a total of 1 hour a day when dd is smiley, I am hoping she'll sleep and trying to get her down rather than talking to her and enjoying her.

Dd is 7 weeks tmrw so no magic 6 week Mark for me :(

Welcome sam!

No magic markers for us just a miracle blanket and White noise app on my phone. Nights are going ok at the mo. It's the daytime and then the early eves which are enough to drive a mother to drink heavily.

DS is 4 months tomorrow and I haven't done a solo bath yet!

Hi there... I am too scared to do solo bath as well, I am sure I will drop her as she is so wriggly!

I do use a White noise app and that can help... A miracle blanket? is that to swaddle? My dd just screams when she can't move her arms so I have only tried swaddling a couple of times. And yes early evenings are a killer. We are trying to start a routine including a bath, buy typically she has been having a mammoth feed around 4, falling asleep till about 7... Which is a bit later than we wanted to bath her. Then she screams cries writhes and moans and we generally have to walk her round and round till our arms ache.... :-( then finally about 11 she settles if we hold her. So stressful and she is getting heavy :-s

What a nightmare :(

Samraves you are describing our DS. the wriggling and writhing especially. It is backbreaking and soul-sapping, I find.

I've not done solo baths yet (unless you count being dunked in the sink after an up the back poo! But I've always bathed with my babies when they are little.

Ok we are on night 4 of Operation Evenings Back. Currently feeding dd2. Past experience suggests she will feed and fall asleep until I move her into her hammock whereupon she will wake up. My one possibility is that she will sleep because of her jabs, they've made her really sleepy today.

I've got a really tickley cough atm which I am having to desperately surpress while trying to feed dd to sleep!

Storefront coughs and sneezes is complete nightmare!

I am trying operation 'give bottle of expressed milk and then top up to see how full I can get dd' I can live in hope that this will make her sleepy.....

Fingers crossed

I am happy to demonstrate my skills at solo-bathing baby plus toddler (the joys of shift-working husband), in return for someone watching dd2 for a bit. About 4am suits me .

Bumper - quick question - are the 3yo jabs in the arm or leg? dd1 wants to know and I wasn't sure .

One in each arm. You could probably state a preference though. When I had my anti-d they would ask me.

Does anyone else's baby take AGES to resettle after waking in the night? I've been up with DS for two hours now. He'd only been asleep two hours anyway!! I have him in his baby straitjacket swaddling blanket but he keeps thrashing his head from side to side when I put him down.

Just fed him again and he seems to be staying still. Now just the 20-minute vigil to make sure he stays asleep before I go back to bed, to repeat the whole thing again in two hours' time.

Meanwhile, DH is snoring. Gah!

Right with you... Dd has been down for two lots of three hours but she takes at least an hour to settle each time.

I am now still settling after she woke at 4.15... She is asleep on me but still too fidgety to put down! I really wish she could fall asleep herself!!!

thankfully he is usually quick to settle but last night was just awake soo much. I'm knackered and fed up. he's 4 months today and I had no idea when he was born he'd still be waking every 2 hours!

Thank god for routine, the kids have gone back to school today, I walked the middle 2 to school and ds2 slept for half an hour after we came back. Enough for me to get a quick tidy up and a cup of tea, just hacked off that we have more snow forecast for the next few days and I won't be able to get the pram through it.

He has fallen asleep on the sofa so I am going to try and get tonights tea cooked while I have the chance.

can i join? my DS is 4 weeks old and i cant put him down during the day at all. ive spent all day holding him/having him in the sling and im exhausted and crying. again. he's not too bad at night going 3 hours from feed to feed so if he does decide to settle i manage to get a couple of hours sleep but then from 430am til 8pm (if not later) he just constantly wants to be held. i end up letting him sleep on my chest and like samraves i feel like im doing all the things i shouldnt and its my fault that he wont settle. ive tried everything to get him to settle and nothing seems to work :( i hope it improves soon or we're going to have a major falling out.

lumpor, it is NOT your fault. Some babies sleep easily, for others it's really, really,really difficult. I don't have any good advice for you (you will have tried most methods like you say) but wanted to you know that it is not your fault - you are doing everything you can for your little baby and you're not doing anything wrong.