newborn sleep nightmare, officially desperate

[ExistentialistCat]

2 week-old DD2 just won't settle in her crib at night at all. She'll sleep in her moses basket during the day quite happily, though. I've tried all the usual tricks (warming the mattress, swaddling, making a little nest out of a rolled-up blanket etc etc etc). We end up co-sleeping out of necessity but I don't want to, I don't get any sleep like that, and I'm not sure it's safe because DH and I are so extremely dopey now.

I'm averaging 2 hours sleep a night (not all in one chunk) and I just don't know how I can continue like this. I also have a 15 month-old DD1 and it's so unfair on her that I'm a permanently bf-ing zombie during the day.

Does all this settle on its own at the magic 6 week mark or is there something we could do to encourage DD2 to sleep in her crib? How do I survive the next 4 weeks? How much of an influence might bf-ing have, and could a night time bottle of formula help (I ff DD1 and don't remember the sleep issues being quite this bad in the early weeks)?

Hi to antidote and Narmada. Sorry you guys are having sleep issues to. Insomnia is just soul destroying. I actually convinced the gp to give me sleeping tablets twice when I was pg as my insomnia was making me crazy!

You know just once I would like to go to bed whe I want to. Dd is still not down and I don't get a break all evening :(

Weird night last night.

Ds fell asleep in.our arms at 7 during supper so I put him to bed in the cot rather than keeping him with us. He woke about 20 mins later and could not settle till 10. Loads of wind and crying.

Once asleep he managed 10-1, feed, next awake 3, feed and nappy, next awake 5, feed, slept till 7, fed and taken away by dh.

That is a good night for us, apart from the evening screaming.

I am reaching the conclusion he is normal for an ebf baby, but I am just no use without a 3 hour stretch. Also I sleep very lightly when we are co sleeping.

Hope your nights were ok.

Does sound normal I'm afraid but it's bloody hard work. Can't remember how old your LO is but do you need to do a nappy change at 3am. Unless dd has pooed which is rare at night now she doesn't get get changed fronaeound 10pm to about 8am.

dd2 was also suffering from wind last night. she screamed 7.30-8.30, slept 8.30-12am, and then didn't really settle at all from midnight. she kept farting herself awake, and then wanted feeding to drift back off. i am not feeling at my best....

Sleep deprivation is evil. Really is.

It seems our routine is feed around 8/830 (as and when it's yelled for) and he'll sleep til 1ish, then awake again about 4/430 and back to sleep til 7/730. Tho
my blooming alarm clock woke him this morning which was a bit of an arse.

DS just does not sleep in the day unless in the car/pram. I wonder if I should try putting him upstairs in his Moses with the blinds drawn and the monitors on and try it that way..... What do you guys do? Ds is 8 wks.

silversky I have nothign helpful to advise, just feel your pain re the not sleeping in the day unless in motion. It's a pain to say the least.

Where does your DS sleep after the 830 feed? Is it in his moses? If so I am v jealous. our DS won't go down until around 1130, god knows why, and until then will only sleep in our arms, on and off, inbetween screaming.

I hate this :(

Narmada well DS fed at 630 and fell asleep about 730 and has been feeding two hourly during the day (unless we are out and about and he is sleeping then I wake him three hourly). He is asleep now in his bouncer chair and I am contemplating whether to wake him or to let him sleep........ Either way he'll still wake at 1am I am sure. Sometimes I just don't know what to do for the best when it comes to the evenings and waking to feed.

On the plus side he did put himself to sleep in his bouncer. Just settled from being awake and alert. Next thing I know he's fast asleep.

After the 4am feed I put him back down all swaddled but he cried alot so I scooped him up and rocked him to sleep, put him in his Moses and he didn't even stir - result!

Really I should be asleep myself but no such luck. Gah!

Meant to ask how old is your DS!? Does he have colic?

We have raised one end of his Moses which helps with colic/colds and stuff. A lot of babies with stuff going on hate lying flat as you prob know so if you haven't tried it......

silversky DS has reflux - but raised cot makes not a bit of difference. He chokes when you lay him down after a feed, and you can literally hear the milk washing back up his gullet. It interferes with his sleep quite a lot, makes him really unsettled. He is on meds but I don't think they are working. Got another paedeatrician appointment in January for a review.

If your DS can fall asleep on his own, even if is only sometimes, IMHO that is a very very good thing and you should feel really positive about it. I would encourage that as much as possible. My DS definitely cannot fall asleep without a range of props, and my DD couldn't do it either until she was around 7 months and that was after some fairly harsh (eek) sleep training.

I iknow what you mean about not knowing what to do for the best as far as waking them and trying to gently manipulate their pattern. I don't know what to advise - sorry! I reckon very often babies wake not because they are hungry but for loads of different reasons. That doesn't mean they won't settle nicely with a feed though...

My DS is 10 weeks, BTW.

PS if you can , I would def try him in his moses basket during the day. It's a lot easier on you if he will sleep in his bed!

n your poor boy. Must be horrible for him and you. Hopefully your appt in January will put things right or at least put you on the right track.

I fed Ds at 1030-1100 last night and he then slept til 4 but was awake again at 6 tho I ended up not being able to sleep so I am now knackered and the little angel won't sleep unless it's on me. If I move him he might stay asleep for ten mins!!! He must have an inbuilt bloody sensor!!!!

So I wonder if I am better off staying up later and only being woken once rather than going to bed and being woken twice?

Going to try and get Drs appt today/tmw for him as he has red scaly dry skin on his chops and I am worried it's infected. Secondly he's chewing his hands a lot more. Wonder why!

silver, i think the hand chewing is normal - just because they can!

That's exactly what the quack said!

Nearly 2 and still awake. As in still since about 7pm. 3 attempts to put her down. All missions failed. Happy fucking new year.

Happy fucking new year to you, too Bump... Been feeding DD2 on and off since 6.30 this evening. She just won't settle. I've just had to leave her next to DH on the bed and take myself out of the room because I am so FURIOUS with her. We've had two nights of this. She's got a horrible cough so in a way it's fair enough that she wants the comfort but I am completely exhausted. I'm useless to my DD1 and DH, and DH is also coming down with this cough.

I've had ENOUGH of this. I am so desperate now.

That's crap EC, especially if dh gets ill too. Have you thought about getting a humidifier help her cough? We have one as dd2 has had a cold for about 5 weeks now! Think it helps a little.

my ds also has a cough and a cold and we feel the same as you, bumper and existentialist... had enough.. happy new year!

gah
narmada, bump, cat, i am so sorry to hear thing are crap.
i'm right there with you if that helps. dd2 was up fucking hourly last night. dh was on nights so no support. i feel terrible, but i just live for his days off when i can get a moment to myself (dd2 is napping on me right now). thank god dd1 got plenty of christmas dvds, as it helps make my neglecting her more enjoyable for her.

DS's sleep has gone crappy again after a few OK days and nights. The daytime naps are particularly nightmarish. He screams and screams when we try and get him to sleep, but if we don't it's overtired screaming all the way.

Basically, after he wakes from a nap or whatever, I have an hour and a quarter's grace during which he is adorable - calm, smiley and gurgly. Then he suddenly gets tired and I have a battle on my hands. Going to people's houses is a nightmare because I know I'll have to get him to sleep somehow, will usually fail and end up having to leave because he's screaming. I feel very trapped by this. I see friends' babies getting a bit tired after a couple of hours - their mums just shove a dummy in, stick them in a chair and wander off

Our saving grace is the bedtime routine, which still works well in that he sleeps consistently through the evenings - usually a three-hour stretch but on occasion 5 or 6 hours. His sleep after that is still fairly crappy though, waking every 2 hours or so and taking 1.5hrs to settle. I know I should go to bed early evening because that's the only guaranteed stretch, but I can never bring myself to. I want to sit and have a decent meal, watch TV or chat to DH. But I end up kicking myself in the early hours when he's awake AGAIN and I'm shattered.

Am also finding it really hard to get back to sleep after the night wakings. Last couple of nights I've not managed to get back to sleep before he's woken again.

Dreading DH going back to work on Tuesday and having to deal with it all again on so little sleep.

When is the 4-month regression meant to start? DS is 14 weeks now ...

count, one of the only advantages of having dd1 being a shite sleeper was that we never noticed any growth spurts or sleep regressions. It seemed she was so rubbish at sleeping she had nowhere to which she could regress .

Yes, I see what you mean! I notice them because I can't get DS off my boob ...

I never noticed growth spurts or regressions with my first DD either, because there was nothign to regress from - it couldn't have got any worse.

Countbapula I am totally with you on the envy for those mums that seem to be able to just leave their children to go to sleep. Neither of mine were/ are like that and the overtired screeching is exactly the same as I get from our DS. It is worst when we are in the car - trapped literally and he seems to be the only baby for whom a car journey is not a guaranteed method of getting him off to sleep.

Anyway, deep sympathy for you all. My DP is doing tonight, DS has now stopped feeding owing to virus and I am worried about him, so no doubt I won't sleep very well either.

Nope, my DS won't sleep in the car either!! Total fecking nightmare! :(

Hi, thought I would revisit you ladies, especially CountBapula and ExCat - my DD2 was up all evening with waving arms waking her up and generally unsettled. She's now 3 mths old and things have got better though still very unsettled in the evenings. Found putting her in pram on top of her snow suit helped - she seems to like the fluffy hood. She is now teething too (early unfortunately) which has thrown everything out again. I wanted to offer some moral support and say hi - things have got better for us though it is very much two steps fwd and one step back! No miracle cure found yet hence I do revisit this thread just in case....! Good luck and good new year wishes to you all!

That's 3 nights of DD2 wanting to suck constantly now. I'm losing it. It's not like she sucks quietly and lets me doze - she clamps her mouth round my nipple and thrashes about, scratches and bats at me. I've resorted to feeding her to sleep in our bed and then creeping out to sleep on the floor myself. At least that way I get half an hour's sleep sometimes!

Count, you MUST go to bed early! I have every sympathy because I was doing exactly the same as you until a few nights ago, relishing that early evening time. And now there is NO chance for any sleep at all...

I'm going to post on the bf forum to see if anyone has any clever ideas. At this rate, I'm going to stop bfing and stick her in the shed over night!