Stuck in a never ending sleep regression

[PDog]

I am beyond exhausted. DD is coming up to 8.5mo and this has been going on for 2 months.

It seems to alternate between horrendous nights or horrendous days with horrendous bedtimes. She just can't switch off - I can't take my eyes off her for a second because she is not happy unless she rolling/grabbing something/putting something in her mouth.

When she does sleep, I have to feed her to sleep but as soon as I try to get her in her cot she wakes up and starts rolling.

She has only had 30 mins sleep all day today and gets more and more hyper. It then takes between 1-3 hours to get her to bed and she will be up to 2-3 times and ready to go by 6am (despite still been shattered).

Anyone offer any advice?

Or anyone in the same boat who wants to moan share experiences.

Not going great is it for us?

I am thinking now that DS has reflux. He hates lying on his back and when I put him on his side he settled last night. Plus he often wakes himself up with his choking sounding coughs. Going to see GP today and give Gaviscon a try.

I am so fed up of no sleep that am considering a bottle of formula at the first waking but whether he'll take it or not is a different matter - it might not even help but it's worth a try I'm thinking.

fifitot sympathies on the 4 month hell. We had terrible sleep- almost hourly wakings for about 3 weeks but it did get better. My DS had mild reflux and always settled much better on his side (still does). Gaviscon didn't do much for us and is a PITA if you are bfing, but we had good experience with ranatadine.

Sorry hear there has been crap sleep all over. We've had a mixed bag- some good nights including one almost sleep through and some fairly rubbish. Exhausting when you dont know what to expect night to night and sure that is partly a cause of the insomnia.

Suchanamateur here- have namechanged. Still an amateur though...

Sorry you are all having a hard time. Seems like all our LO's are in tune as we had a truly horrendous night.

I was ill (yes again). Don't send your baby to nursery if you have other options - she has picked up every bug going and then when she recovers, passes it on to me .

DH took the brunt as once I had fed her to sleep, I had to lie down. She then did what your DS did ADog and woke every 5mins. It was about 9.30pm before she finally settled and then woke at 1.30am and 5am. Wouldn't be so bad except she took 1.5 hours to settle the first time and an hour the second time. Naps have been horrendous today too - 2x 20mins in the car.

She seems to have settled now (for the time being. She has 2 teeth coming and finally starting crawling yesterday (she is 1 in 3 weeks ) so maybe that has something to do with it.

Adog is the 46 week thing a growth spurt or another regression .

Curly No idea about the co-sleeping but if it gets you more sleep I would go with it but that it is because I turn into horrible mummy when I am shattered so do whatever it takes to maximise sleep for all of us.

Uh-oh, DD is awake .

Morning everyone. I'm feeling more cheeful today! :) (Which is good as DH felt he had to tell me 'not to take it out on DS' yesterday. It's not just PDog who turns into horrible mummy when tired.)

PDog, sending unMumnsnetty hugs, you poor thing. Hope you all improve again soon.

The 46 week thing is a developmental spurt and the second part of the 9 month regression. (I think that's why the 9m SR is so bad - you only get a bit of respite between the 37 and 46 week spurts, and poor sleepers like ours often persist with frequent wakings even in the lull between the two spurts.)

Curly, we've switched between co-sleeping and not co-sleeping several times now, without DS so much as batting an eyelid. I think especially if they sleep differently at the start of the night / for naps, it's less of an issue. I'd go with PDog and do whatever it takes to maximise sleep for everyone - if there are any changes you need to make further down the line, it'll be easier to do so when everyone's more rested.

IC, glad you had a better night after your horrible one.

fifitot, hope you manage to find out if it is reflux.

Yesterday was another rubbish night chez AngelDog, after poor naps too. I'm sure our babies correspond and get ideas from each other. DS slept for 3 hours with the usual resettles, but woke every 5-10 mins between 10.30pm and 1am. Slept for 2 hours more, than woke every 10 mins or so between 3am and 6.30am. Most of that time was spent with him lying on my chest while I lay on my back, jiggling frantically.

So, 5 hours' decent sleep for him, 2 for me. :( I feel okay at the moment, but he's easily fraught, unsurprisingly.

One day, we'll look back at these times and laugh!

Had a terrible night last night. If it is reflux the Gaviscon didn't work and nor did raising the cot mattress.

He was up every 2 hours and not settling after a feed. Got about 3 hours sleep.

I am not sure how we all go on on so little rest. I feel like death warmed up.

Morning all

Oh Fifitot what an awful night for you. I hope you find out what it is soon and manage to get a good rest. Try and catch up today if you can!

AD sounds like you had an awful one too, you poor thing - it's been going on for a while for your DS hasn't it. At least you are coming to the end of the regression I suppose and can maybe see some light at the end of the tunnel?

Pdog sorry to hear you've been ill again. Maybe now she has cracked the crawling things will improve for you...

Welll not a great night again, but I didn't expect it to be tbh! DD went down easily at 7.45 after good naps yesterday, she needed resettling about 10ish and then procedded to wake every 10 mins from about 11pm. DH and I tried to settle her a few times before bringing her in with me (and DH off to the spare room again ) where she continued to drift off only to wake herself 10 mins later for nearly an hour.

SHe woke for a feed at 2am (at least we seem to be down to 1 feed at night ) but then refused to sleep again until about 3.30 she layed on the bed kicking, babbling, blowing rasperries etc until eventually giving in... SHe disturbed for about 15 mins at 6am but then slept on until 8ish so at least I got a bit more sleep.

I have just worked out that if this all goes on until she is 46 weeks (she is 36 weeks now), that takes us beyond the end of January Oh God, I don't think I can take another 10 weeks of it!

Curly, I found that although DS still woke frequently between the two spurts, he stopped being awake for long periods at night, which always just goes away on its own. I could have worked to improve his sleep but didn't bother as I thought it'd be too much effort to do it, have it messed up by the second spurt, then work on it again. So I don't think that another couple of months of it is inevitable.

DS has been hard work to get to sleep today. Result: 2 x 30 min naps .

We're visiting friends later for tea, and DH will be putting DS to bed there while the wives go out. I can see this all going horribly wrong - me not there, and no rocking chair to help DH get DS off. These friends have a 2 year old who has always been an incredibly good sleeper - she still takes 2 long naps every day and has virtually always slept through the night.

One of my friends' babies did the 10 min thing at 4 months and they went back to swaddling, which helped. I'm seriously considering trying it again...

Aha! First molar has just broken the skin on the gum. Maybe things might improve soon!

Thanks AD that makes me feel slightly more hopeful!

How long did you find each indiviual spurt tended to last? DD has been sleeping poorly for just over 2 weeks now and she is 36 weeks - is it likely that the 37wk spurt be over with soon?

The 4 month SR seemed to go on forever, which is why I was thinking I might have 2 months of this with the two spurts blurring into one long one!

SHe is desperate to crawl and walk (wants to stand all the time) and has started pulling up to standing as well as somehow getting herself from her back into a sitting position this afternoon when I popped to get a nappy (why do they always manage something when you aren't looking ) so I guess she does have a lot going on atm!

Interestingly, she is starting to nap a bit better (yesterday and today) so maybe, just maybe we have a chink of light at the end of the tunnel... Now we just have to crack these extended wakings.

Blimey- walking, crawling and molars. It's no wonder the babies are putting their mummies through their paces.

I was feeling sorry for myself for 4 wakings last night (including the regular 10/11pm one which is driving me mad as it seems always to be just after I've fallen into a deep sleep) but having read recent posts think I should be thankful they are short. I am slightly envious of those who can co-sleep. We dis till about 4 months and then it was hopeless. DS just thinks me and the bed are one big playground rather than dormitory. Teething and yet another cold here so I think we'll be having multiple awakenings for a while yet.

Curly good news on the possible light at the end of the tunnel naps, and here's hoping for a better night for you and all the other never ending regression mummies.

Oh dear ADog, Curly & Fifitot I was hoping you might have good news of a better night seen as we had another shocker.

DD didn't settle properly again until about 9pm but just needed her back rubbing rather than feeding.

She woke at 1.30am but wasn't interested in milk - she wanted to play . Eventually got her off after an hour, only for her to wake at 4am. She was awake for 2 hours this time - I took her into the spare room and gave co-sleeping a try but now she is bigger she just thinks it is fun and pulls my hair/nose/lips. She also won't feed to sleep lying down anymore either. She was pulling at her gums and ear and seemed in pain so I dosed her up with ibroprofen, bonjela & teething powder and went back to her room where I fed and rocked her in the chair. She eventually fell asleep at 6am until 8.30am.

Naps have been rubbish today too - about 15mins on me this morning, 10mins in the car on the way back from swimming. I have spent all afternoon trying to get her off to sleep (she is very tired and grumpy) and eventually resorted to going for a walk in the freezing rain. It worked though and she is asleep in her pram now so am enjoying a rare moment of peace .

She will be 49 weeks this week and was 2 weeks early so it probably is the tail-end of the regression. She is also working on trying to pull up and talk (she keeps saying "hiya" but don't think on purpose).

ADog I also have a friend with a 2yo who still has a 2hr nap and has slept through almost every night from 5mo. I wasn't too impressed when, after witnessing my attempts to get DD to sleep, she asked me if I had tried bonjela .

Back to work/nursery for us tomorrow so I dread to think what she will be like by Friday.

Hope you all have better tales to tell in the morning.

Oh god, a huge collective hug for everyone on this thread...
What the hell's going on? Is it the phase of the moon or something?

DD's sleep has been okay the last few nights, although she still tends to do at least one hour-long or more resettle, even though the wakings are usually only a couple. Not perfect, but I'm DEFINITELY not complaining, especially after reading of the various nightmares you're all going through.

I REALLY hope you all get a bit of respite tonight.

Well, definitely a better tale to tell here. :)

DH got DS to sleep at our friends (and back again eventually when he woke). He nodded off again in the car on the way home, and was easy to feed to sleep when we got back.

I ache a bit as he spent the last couple of hours of the night lying face down across my chest, but we both slept so it was worth it.

He's still tired, and clumsy with it - we've had lots of bumps today! Only 45 mins nap at lunchtime but he's in bed now. :)

Curly, IIRC DS being up in the night lasted about a month but he did learn lots of new physical skills as well then, and wasn't awake for long periods every night. But the disturbed naps, which is where the regression hits us hardest, only lasted a week and a half, I think. The Wonder Weeks says 3-6 weeks of fussiness (normally 4), starting around 34 weeks and finishing around 37 weeks.

Hopefully better naps will help, as my DS does the 1.5 hours awake when he's overtired from a run of poor daytime sleep as well as when it's just due to a regression.

PDog, ah, that's DS's problem then: I've never used Bonjela. How lovely your DD saying 'hiya'! :)

Bandersnatch, sorry to hear of another cold - they just keep coming, don't they?

Wishing you all better nights.

1.5 hours awake last night, but before I went to bed. I had to get DH to hold DS while I went & got my PJs ready - I came back to find DH playing 'hop little bunny' with DS. So much for helping him still be aware that it's nighttime. Mind you, I gave up too and DS ended up 'helping' me hang washing on the airer in our bedroom by the light of the laptop.

DS then slept from 11.30 to 6.30 without properly waking - SEVEN HOURS (although I had to cuddle/pat him for a couple of seconds once or twice). I could live with more of those! :)

IC, glad your DD hasn't been too bad.

Hope you all have a restful weekend. :)

That qualifies as a sleep-through, ADog

DD was awake for an hour plus just after midnight. Next door's telly didn't help, so this time I tapped on their door and asked nicely if they would turn it down. They were very apologetic and came round today to say I must bang on the wall if I find it's too loud in the future and they'll reduce the volume. Bless them.

Anyway, DD then woke at 05.45, which caused my heart to sink, but then slept in to 08.00, which messed up her first nap somewhat, but was still a welcome lie-in.

Here's hoping we don't have any nocturnal dramas tonight.

And the same to the rest of you... [hopeful emoticon]

Wow AD - a sleep thru! Lets hope for more of those...

Not so bad for you either IC? What's going on?

Well, things not so good here as DD has a stinking cold and spent all of last night (once I went to bed) in with us and she coughed and snuffled and whimpered all night. She is just as bad today, so I guess it'll be the same tonight Poor little mite is suffering tho, so I find it easier somehow.

On the plus side, DH and I are having our first proper night out tonight (since DD's arrival) while my mum babysits! We are off to an (early) Xmas party and I can't wait. DH just settling DD in bed (typically she is taking ages to go down this evening) and then we're off!

:( Curly. It is a bit easier when there's a good reason, isn't it?

Hope you have a lovely night. DH and I have yet to brave leaving DS with anyone else.

DS slept for three hours at lunchtime. I put him to bed an hour later as he woke an hour later, but I reckon he'd have gone down sooner. I'm taking him out for the day tomorrow though, which means pushchair naps - I expect they'll be all over the place!

some good news at last.

Hooray for AngelPup - hoping he puts in a repeat performance for you tonight AngelDog.

IC sounds like your DD is being fairly consistent at the moment, hope it continues for you.

Curly your DD is ill but that you are managing to escape for the night. DH has booked us a weekend away in January - his mum is coming up to stay to look after DD so I've got 2 months to get her used to getting to sleep without boob and sleeping through the night .

Not much improvement to report I'm afraid. We had a slightly better night on Tues but DD was up every 2 hours on Weds . Last night was slightly better - only 3 awakenings once I'd gone to bed but one was a scream-a-thon.

On the plus side, she does seem to be settling more quickly so maybe we are coming out of the regression. Just need the other tooth to pop through and then might gather my resolve for some night weaning.

Hope you all have a good weekend with lots of sleep.

Glad there are some signs of progress for some.

Same old here I'm afraid. If I get any bigger, darker shadows around my eyes I will look like a panda..........I think I am averaging 4 hours a night - broken sleep.

DS slept from 6.30 last night in his cot to 9.15 which isn't bad but obviously I was up then. Fed him back to sleep and he stayed there til 12.45, then another feed then 3.15 and from 3.15 until 4.30, was unsettled, crying, not feeding, wide awake at times. DH took him downstairs where he (baby) fell asleep and stayed asleep until 7ish. I still never got any sleep though as my early waking daughter got in my bed at 6 and kept me awake .

DS has a cold so that's not helping but am really getting to the end of my tether. What can I do?????????? He is too little for cc and screams the house down and wakes the other child if try anything else such as pat/shush.

Any ideas most welcome - am desperate. I saw some bubble bath on the shelf last night and it made me cry! because I haven't had the time or energy for a lovely bath since DS born! Have to grab quick showers and am always on the go. Even his good long naps seem to have dried up at the moment and doing on ly 45 mins at a time.........

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel for you fifitot, the 4 month regression was hell at the time. It does pass though honestly. Can't remember if I did anything at the time - just got good at power napping I think and went to bed ridiculously (sp?) early. Must be tough with another DC to think about though. Is she old enough to go to nusery or school so you can try and sleep when if your DS does decide to nap?

Well, I finally have some good news. We had a weekend which got better gradually - Friday rubbish, Saturday one wake up and last night...

... A SLEEP THROUGH

Sorry for the shouting, feeling very excited . She slept from 11ish til 5.30am, got up for the day then but never mind. Naps still rubbish but you can't have everything can you?

Hope things are better for the rest of you - we have lots and lots of snow here.

Wow Pdog, a sleep through! Good on PPup - fingers crossed for a repeat tonight huh?

Fifitot I remember the 4 months regression with dread. It was awful, but then saying that, so is the 8/9 month one - sorry! It does get a lot better in between though...

Well, things are pretty naff here, DD has had an awful cold since last Thurs and so sleep has been all over the place. She has also shared it with me so I feel really rough. It is so hard to be patient when you feel so damn rough yourself!! She seems to be a bit better tonight, but we have just had to get her out of bed to change a poo'y nappy which DH discovered when he went up to re-settle her. I think she may have done it at bedtime, but I couldn't smell a thing through my blocked nose, so now I feel like a rotten mummy it was all (sorry if TMI) stuck to her bum and I had to peel the nappy off. DH is now trying to re-settle her again.

I really hope she sleeps well tonight, because I soooo need a good sleep myself.

Sending sleepy-vibes to everyone else!

PDog - brilliant! So you would recommend PUPD would you now? How many nights have you done it for and for how long?

Curly - we have had colds too which aren't helping.

Excuse me while I vent though. Godawful night last night after a not bad one the night before. Baby in bed at 7, woke at 9.15, 11, and from 12 til about 3 was mainly awake, either gurgling in his cot or crying. Went off at 3 but woke again at 5.15 and up ever since. I tried to feed to sleep every time and it worked but soon as he was back in his cot he woke up.

Feel very down today. DH and I are frankly exhausted, DD is getting the brunt as we have no tolerance if she is acting up a bit and we shouted at her twice this morning. I also shouted and swore at the baby FGS last night - which makes me feel terrible,,,,shows how low I feel. Poor mite can't help it if he can't sleep.

Not sure where to go with this. I am back at work after xmas and can't function on this much sleep especially have a 45 min drive each way. I will fall asleep at the wheel!

In desperation I remember leaving DD to cry it out at around 5months one night and it worked. I tried this with DS the other night and he clawed all of his face and cut it with his nails as so upset. Can't try that again.

Any ideas anyone has I will consider. The whole family is suffering now, not least the baby himself.

He is 5 months in a couple of weeks but see no improvement on the horizon and in fact he seems to be getting worse.

Sorry for the hijack. May feel more positive later but just depressed this morning so if the PUPD is working then really need to try it!

Sounds tough Curly, hope you are both feeling better soon.

Can't really help on the PUPD front Fifitot as it never really worked for us. I still feed to sleep - not ideal but it maximises sleep for all of us.

Have you tried co-sleeping? It saved my sanity when DD would wake when I put her in her cot. She was in our room til about 8mo so I would feed her in bed, unlatch her and she would stay asleep in the bed. I would often wake after an hour or so and was then able to transfer her to her cot without too much bother.

I think we've all been there with the shouting at some point so don't beat yourself up too much.

Another good night last night - she went down about 7.30pm and woke screaming at about 1am. I think she was having a bad dream (do babies dream? ). Gave DH a nudge and he was able to settle her quite quickly so no feeding required .

An early wake up again at 5am though - managed to get her back to sleep eventually at about 5.30am but only for an hour.

Naps still rubbish - she is having her first nap of the day now, hoping it is going to be a long one .

PDog - what's changed then? How has she started to settle?

She's nearly one Fifitot so it is about time really! I think we are just coming out of another regression and she has also just cut another 2 teeth. Haven't done anything differently - just rode it out.

Don't want to panic you but the 4 month regression lasted about 2 months for us iirc. Think some of it was teething too though. On the upside, things got much better when she hit 6mo.

My advice is just to hang in there and do whatever you need to to maximise sleep for the whole family. Hope things improve for you soon.