what do you imagine I look like...

[fruitshootsandheaves]

what image do my name and my useless advice posts conjure up?

Dalrymps- you are younger than your name suggests, but loving motherhood, principally because it is a good excuse to leave behind your hideous job in a laundrette where you were sexually harrassed by the area manager, and now you spend your days eating chocolate hobnobs and window shopping while you wait for the demon business idea which will one day make you ridiculously wealthy. You enjoy a slightly chaotic homelife and people are always made welcome. You were the class clown, but actually rather clever. Your husband calls you Snookums, and complains when you don't rinse your leg hairs out of the bath. Despite this he thinks you are a goddess and has punched one of his mates for fancying you.

That's distubingly accurate! I am 27, suppose that's young-ish.I did leave behind a hideous job but in a call centre. I just ate some chocoalte hobnobs!!! I do lots of window shopping as don't have much money and am currently setting up my own business! Homelife is chaotic and my family popped in on their way back from a holiday this weekend and were made very welcome indeed... I wasn't the class clown, but consider myself to be reasonably clever. My husband calls me pet names although not that exact one... He does indeed think i'm a goddess although no idea why

Woohoo! Kerching

Voodoo lady

SparklingSarah- you are a bit wacky and rather too fond of the kids' dressing up box. You act out imaginary arguments in your head and secretly long to do a glamorous old Hollywood photo shoot. People look askance at you from time to time because you sound like you are taking the piss out of their accents but you can't help copying them. You missed your vocation as a Knightsbridge window dresser, but that was because you dropped out of a design course when you fell out with your best friend over a man. You had a lucky escape from him though, because he turned out to be a compulsive gambler and your ex-friend went bankrupt. The man you are with now though is very reliable and loves the way you can rustle anything up from the freezer and the store cupboard, even though he harbours fantasies of being an amazing chef, which you laugh at.

my god you are indeed voodoo ladydeeeeeeeeee

seriously bar design course you're pretty much spot on!

just sent it to mr man! he's chuckling in the corner!

Ronaldinhio- you felt like the cuckoo in the nest growing up, a giant among dwarves. You rebel against ordered routine by being a slattern, but all your friends love you for it and see you as generous and compassionate. You sometimes get fed up at being taken for granted though. Your children secretly disgust you with their habits, but you celebrate their free spirits. You get irrationally pissed off if your DP eats his last rolo, because he presented you with one when you first got together.

pmsl

BOF - fabulous! Yes to odd dress sense and frustrated creative! Deffo no to another child and it's rats not iguanas (but i would like one). Spooky and hilarious .

Do me do me! (not BoF though that would be cheating.....)

Go DWP! Mr Wilson? You dark horse!

Is that roadrunner underwear??

A surprising amount of that is right...but I'm not telling hehe

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion has poker-straight hair that has been dyed many colours over time, but she has always been given away by her mousey-brown eyebrows. Labelled as 'the sensible one' growing up, she longs to rebel but is too considerate to do anything that would really shock in case anyone got upset.

(pleeeeease do me! )

I think DWP is tall, but stacked. She has a hooting laugh. She wears a lot of hats, and good boots, but with scuffs on. I think she prefers lip balm to lipstick, and can hold her own in a pub quiz. She lives in Fleet in Hampshire/Surrey borders and enjoys reasonable material wealth. She only has brothers and is a doctor's daughter. She used to work for a pharmaceutical company and is looking to return when youngest child is at full time school.

'N' me?

Trillian lives in house, a very big house, in the country. She has always been a tomboy but with a secret extremely girly side that comes out every so often. She alphabetises her DVD and CD collection and leaving one out of the case is a serious offence.

She has wavy brown hair and a casual but stylish dress sense. She loves to travel but prefers to do it alone. Her favourite colour is green.

Do me pleeeeease

I've got such a pants day at work today.

pleeeeeease

Nah, DWP is an ecomentalist with emphasis on the 'mental'. She is very upset that no-one is taking her seriously that The Devil really wears Primark because Primark is evil. She herself only wears handwoven lentil-based fabrics, but makes them into very chic timeless pieces using patterns from Vogue. She is tall and spohisticated-looking, with her hair swept up into a chignon, and she is never seen without her (conflict-free of course) diamond earrings. She claims this is to blend in with the corporate crowd and take them down from the inside, but secretly she just like to look nce.

Bella is a ginge. That's to say, she has lots of curly red hair and she often wears bottle green to set it off. She works as a production manager in daytime tv, having just returned from an extended maternity leave, and her DH is a bespectacled writer who is a SAHD to their impish little lad. She grew up in Lincoln and her nail varnish is always a little chipped and the wrong shade, but she has a killer smile.

Thanks, LadyT

I am not witty enough to do these