What are your top tips for making family life work ?

[carriemumsnet]

While we wait with bated breath for the results of our work/life balance survey we thought we'd tap you for your top tips on how you make family life work, in terms of work/life balance, family time, sharing responsibilities for children/ house /money etc

How do you make the parenting partnership (great phrase eh? ) work in your house?

think before you nag

Chuck it all in the pot and see how you cope (so hard to plan in advance)
Make sure you have some consistency in there (rules and discipline! )
Mix in a whole load of patience (with both partner and kids)
Add a great big dollop of humour (that's what gets you through)

Share out equally (e.g. changing nappies, taking turns on bathtime, one owns school admin and one owns organising/supporting swimming lessons)

We are both adults and we both pull our weight. If ever he doesn't, I tell him so and he puts it right and vice versa.
We have a cleaner
We shop online
We try not to organise too much at the weekend so we can all do tihngs together
We go away to hotels without children sometimes
We do kind things for each other (eg he made me muffins one Sunday, I ironed his shirts, which I never normally do)
We back each other up

won't go on any more or will be accused of smuggery and whilst we're v hpapy I haven't got all the asnwers, we have rubbish times like anyone else.

we both do our share.

we take it in turns to do almost everything form lie ins to nights out to bathing child to bed time books.

We guard our time off and plan what we are going to do with it and stick to that.

We work hard, and plan well.

Respect is huge.
priorities are the same
outlook on life is very similar

We're a team. If one member of the team is operating under par, the other works harder to make up for that.
Prioritise - time together is more important than weeding the garden!
Find opportunities for fun and laughter.

Lots of forward planning on objectives (that involves a lot of negotiation and compromise) and then working backwards to optimise execution.

Having the same ideas about parenting goes without saying - friends have different views, thats fine, their kids - but if DH and I disagree of hwo to handle something I'd struggle with that.

(not that I "chose" DH after he completed a parenting questionnaire of course!)

Ummmmm think before you nag is a good one. It doesn't MATTER that much if he doesn't bath the kids one night, he may be tired/ill/grumpy/wahtever and if its now and again, don't worry about it.

Offer the odd BJ in exchnage for getting up in teh night

have a routine, stick to it. Make all the family aware of it.

Delegate any chores to LOs in return for "reward" (even 22m old puts rubbish in bin/shoes away).

Have a holiday home that you can escape to at the weekend so don't spend your weekends catching up on chores.

Do a massive shop (Costco) every 6 weeks.
Organic delivery of fruit/veg every week (no more visits to the supermarket/waiting for online orders to be delivered).

Have a massive cry every now and then when you're not coping - works well

An annual review and organisational meeting in September (and a mid-year one in January) to plan holidays, time with children etc

Constantly looking for new efficiencies on chores and errands.

I try and be nice to my children. And they seem to be nicer to me.

Our new mission statement has worked wonders for our parenting partnership

Online shopping

Our family uniforms help us all toe the line

Eat together as a family as much as is physically possible.

Eating together that is.

Don't try to eat as much as is physically possible, that will lead to obesity and constipation.

Give yourselves time not doing anything. Unstructured days when you are still in your pj's at 11am are as important as doing fullfilling and worthy activities.

Buy a large whip

Staff

Count to ten before losing the plot

If all else fails wine and chocolate

Accept that everyone has a right to be fed up at times and let them be. Its not your job to make everyone happy all of the time.

Yes eat together - and that chocolate or icecream are good resources (at anytime) to resolve minor conflicts without any spoken language needed. Everyone tends to feel better afterwards.

Listening to each member of the family.

Making sure that as soon as possible everyone can use language to express their emotions and feelings.

Noting down all your ideas pointydog.

Re: the family uniforms, would you advise a boater or something a little more individual - maybe a top hat?

Practice 'the look' before they are wise to the fact you don't actually mean it.

Tired or hungry means badly behaved...

Stick to regular early bedtimes, no late nights as a "treat" as it will not be much of a treat for anyone the next day!

Wine for breakfast - and lunch and dinner. And in between meals.

Lol at PointyDog

Very politically incorrect BUT once children are on the scene, acknowledge that you CAN both have it all but not at the same time [hides from Xenia]

Sunday lunch together is sacrosanct whether it's a roast around the dining room table or a picnic in a field

Be loyal to each other

Agree with Suzy Wong about nagging (I struggle with this one)

Make time for yourself because no-one else will (that applies to all dws, dhs & dps)