What are your top tips for making family life work ?

[carriemumsnet]

While we wait with bated breath for the results of our work/life balance survey we thought we'd tap you for your top tips on how you make family life work, in terms of work/life balance, family time, sharing responsibilities for children/ house /money etc

How do you make the parenting partnership (great phrase eh? ) work in your house?

Think about all the things you have got and not the things you haven't. Do not try and have the life you had before with the children and enjoy everyday and the next day they will be a day older

don't spread yourself too thin; if you do too many jobs (paid and unpaid), none will be well done, and you'll end up feeling a failure (which you're not)

R E S P E C T

Appreciate someone for the little things they do as well as the big things. Show respect. Above all communicate.

Turn off the TV one night a week.

Never moan about work. It is better than unemployment and it is voluntary. Love your job.

ensure that everyone does it my way!!!

Parents: Be kind to each other and don't hold grudges / punish / expect psychic abilities from each other.

My commute is a major saving grace - time just to listen to the radio - and dh has to do all the nursery drop offs
That and taking up running for some me time.
Shared values i.e. supporting each other with career goals but not expecting the other to go for stressful promotion. Getting the dd's to be super independent (my 2yo changes her own pull up pants or takes herself to the toilet at night without bothering to call us )

Top tip I have learned the hard way:

Overestimate the time it takes to do anything. The overestimate is often right. Whenever you can, build in time to do nothing. You won't end up doing nothing, but it takes the edge of all the other deadlines in the day.

try to respect everyone's wishes - even if you can't go along with them, make them see that you understand what they are saying - even with the toddlers.

Have a family tradition that you do at least once a week - ours is Friday pizza night - we all eat pizza under duvets and watch a dvd together. we also have family rituals that I hope the DCs will always remember - waffles in bed on birthdays, for example. Make up new ones for your family.

Try never to say 'You always' or 'You never' to anyone in the family.

Let the children know that some mummy and daddy time is sacrosanct.

Remember there are many different types of family and you are doing the best with the hand you have been dealt. Never let anyone else undermine you.

Red Wine. Lots of it.

Before your 22 r old dd left you on your own to cope with your ds aged 7 to go and live abroad just remember someday he may hopefully too! and i'll never have a shortage off holiday offers abroad! REightttttttttttttttttt....................jokin aside............... Love! your kids.................but what is love????????? well if in doubt, think of any time you felt hugely let down and strive n ot to repeat ot with your own.........easier said than done but sometimes admitting you have/are making a balls of it..........age approp wil make a world of difference especially if it didnt/hadn't happened for you.

One of the gifts of they didn't know but we do...............hopefully.

haven't read it all so sorry if this had been said lots:-

other people's families are different - do what works for you and ignore well meaning advice

always tell them you love them, even if it isn't true right then

don't start a family until you have some money behind you, it makes everything easier

remember the chidlren will leave one day, keep a life of your own

if you act like a doormat people walk over you

"Red Wine. Lots of it."

Ah Rhubarb, but that way surprise pregnancies lie

1 - Routines
2 - Speak up, even if it is to say how fed up you are.
3- Say sorry if it is your fault.
4- During disagreements with dh, and when all attempts of rational argumentation fail go upstairs and punch a pillow, or go jogging.
5 - Don't neglect the wine rack.

If your DH is not one for long "deep and meaningful" discussions about how fnucking awful you are finding things juggling everything (you know the type, they get a slightly glazed expression and then try to offer a practical solution that will make no differenc eto the wider problem ... ), get a nice notebook (good excuse for stationary too!) and write it all down instead!
Very cathartic and in my case helped me to spot that I only felt awful for one week each month...hmmm PMS anyone?!

always be civilised to each other even when you don't feel like it

accept that some issues are not resolvable and learn to live with them

try to think of each others family as your own

Have a whole load of shit happen, then you can face it together as a team.

i think it ought to be mentioned somewhere that family doesn't necessarily mean two partners and comes in different formats.

You need to do ironing when you are not working...at some point I have yet to figure this one out . It's difficult.

yayschoolholidaysmeansIcanhavechildrenwithconstantlycrushedclothes

i cant figure out having the words 'need' and 'ironing' in the same sentence.ironing is a choice.

and in response to tiganas post;if you identify that you are in a mood with your oh during PMT month week,start an AIBU thread before confronting him