FWR

[MarsScarlet]

FYI: I've name changed for this to avoid a pile-on.

This post is about the overwhelming negativity and hostility with the FWR board that new posters and posters with a differing viewpoint face if they attempt to use the board.

There is a persistent group within the board that are, to put it simply, hateful towards others. Despite posting there on and off for more than 4 years, I have never felt welcome, despite not holding any particular extreme views or being abusive to others. Without exception, I am accused of being another poster, or a man, a TRA, or some kind of paid activist. This occurs again and again until I leave a thread in frustration.

I’ve seen this happen to many other new posters. Few return. Why would they? Such an acidic atmosphere doesn’t encourage healthy discussion. I’d just like to discuss women’s rights, but this board makes discussion impossible.

I’m not exactly sure what the answer is, except for @MNHQ to request the board to tone down the rhetoric a bit and back off on any new names they may see on the board. Let people engage with you rather than actively drive them away.

You have to ask though, why would someone expect to control how others interact with their posts that they personally publish on a public and busy forum?

Quite. It's just not something you can or should be able to expect.

Try going on the Litter Tray & posting about wanting your cat to have kittens.

FWR will look like a playpen.

I lurk there as thinking about getting a cat one day, and you aren't wrong!

The Doghouse is surprisingly vicious at times too. Don't see much tone-policing there though.

@GailBlancheViola

Aaand there we have it - you deem Hellofabore as bullying people on threads and that is why you targeted her. So all your previous claims for just picking her name out as an example were dishonest.

Do not twist what was said.

I apologised to Hellofabore, and said I did not mean to target her - and I didn't.

She didn't accept that and kept at me.

She does bully other people on other threads.

I love FWR, it’s my favourite place for discussion.

I can’t wait to go to this, and the pub afterwards. FWR IRL. Twill be a treat (if not ruined by TRAs).

https://oxfordliteraryfestival.org/literature-events/2025/april-2/trans-gender-identity-and-the-new-battle-for-womens-rights

You should see the Royal Family threads. More time spent attacking each other than discussing Kate's coat. (Which is what I'm there for. I told you I'm not a proper feminist 😁)

I hate it when threads on any topic descend into infighting instead of the topic. It's boring.
I think the solution is ignore anyone you find antagonistic and stick to the topic.

It's hard to believe you didn't mean to target her when you named her and no one else. You could have made your point without mentioning names. She has a right of reply and she doesn't have to accept any apology you made if she doesn't deem it genuine.

"Is it thinking that the site should adapt to their personal preferences or more that FWR posters should be compelled to comply with their personal demands?"

I don't know. I just saw your post, but just asked a question about what type of person expects this.

I remember a poster from a year or so ago who kept telling us that we should treat them 'gently' and getting affronted when people directly told them they were misinformed because that was not a nice way to act and that this was a feminism board and we should be gentle with them or some such thing. It was eye opening to think that they expected this from strangers on a public forum.

I honestly don't know anywhere open to the public for discussion that does this, except those moderated for 'kindness' as in some Facebook groups.

If someone wants a place moderated to allow kind posts only, this site very much may not be for them. It is moderated as per the talk guidelines and it is very well moderated. But it is not a place where kindness is moderated for.

Having an expectation that a site will adopt a 'kindness' model to suit you, generally, is certainly an expectation that I find perplexing.

She does and so do a few others.

It drove me away from FWR.

Oh do stop whining scarlet - Helle has not bullied you and i have NEVER, seen her bully anybody.

Your apology was used as a tool to 'make me learn from my experience'.

If you genuinely thought that was an apology, you would never have included that in your post.

What do you mean by bullying? I think it would be useful to clarify that point because it seems like some posters consider it bullying when other posters simply do not agree and keep challenging any points made. I would consider that debate, not bullying.

And the accusation about me being a bully, considering what you have done on this thread, becomes just more targeting.

This is the apology?

"I apologise. Perhaps you have an idea, just a little, how it feels on the other side. It isn’t a great place."

No... this was the very bullying action I have referred to.

To quote James Morton of the Scottish Trans Alliance -

‘We strategized – we strategized – that by working intensively with the Scottish Prison Service to support them to include trans women as women on a self-declaration basis within very challenging circumstances, we would be able to ensure that all other public services should be able to do likewise’.

OP has had at least two posts deleted, presumably because of this targeting of specific posters.

It's absolutely okay to start any thread relating to feminism on the S&G board. I do it regularly.

In my view all feminism is related to 'sex and gender' - that's virtually the definition of feminism.

Yes, a female person with the 'I am alright with these male people in female spaces, so you all should be too'

When you feel ready, talk to me!

Possible its the board where nobody really fits in and that's the strength of it. Because it's primarily about hashing out ideas rather than playing ego stroking games.

When you feel ready, talk to me!

I will ❤️

Or perhaps you are feeling so self righteous that you cannot even see the glaring hypocrisy in this post.

YOU didn't want people to 'forensically pick apart' your posts 'for everyone's enjoyment'.

But you couldn't give one fuck whether people did it to someone else. Either on this thread or on another part of the internet.

It's the usual hypocrisy that we're subjected to.

I have a colleague who once had a male colleague describe her as 'aggressive' because she pointed out in a meeting (and followed up with email evidence) in a totally factual and neutral way that he wasn't doing his job as he was supposed to.

What she was, in fact, was assertive and if it had been a man doing the same thing, no-one would have blinked an eye and the male colleague would have apologised and done what was asked. Basically, he didn't like a senior female telling him this totally because of her sex. A male senior colleague actually took over communication with him after the 'aggressive' comment as it was recognised as totally unprofessional and inappropriate (and wrong).

Women with boundaries are constantly told they're bullies, they're aggressive, they're not feminine enough. It's so boring.