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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Rampant ageism.

152 replies

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 17/01/2024 15:15

There's just so much of it. If you want to keep the over 60's over here, could we address these hateful posts in a timely manner. One in particular has been reported a while ago. Still there.

OP posts:
Flatulence · 17/01/2024 17:12

Even if we, personally, don't fit a generalisation about a generation surely we can see it applies at a cohort level?
I'm a xennial (early 40s). I've never liked skinny jeans and don't have a side parting. But when there are memes about people my age sporting those fashions it IS broadly accurate even though it doesn't apply to me personally.
I also know that people my age have had a MUCH easier ride re: student finance than someone in their twenties. That's despite me personally accruing and enormous debt for a variety of reasons. I can still see that - at a population level - it is true. The same applies to house buying. It was/is easier for people my age compared to people in their twenties even though for me, personally, it was incredibly hard.
Generalisations exist for a reason. They can be helpful to paint a picture of change. But they're not personal. Lots of younger people ARE - compared to people my age - interested in social justice and veganism and are in therapy (things, I'm sure, plenty will label "woke") even if 20-something Joe Bloggs reading this is a racist carnivore who drives a diesel 4x4. And it's true that it WAS easier for people now in their 60s to buy a house, save, and have a stable career, even if 68-year-old Joanna Bloggs reading this never bought a house and has lots of debt and lost her job in various recessions.
Tldr; stop taking things personally. Just because an accurate descriptor of a generation doesn't apply to YOU doesn't make it incorrect when applied to a cohort.

Ap24 · 17/01/2024 17:15

I reported a post a while back that was saying all gen z are impossible to work with, narcissistic, lazy, entitled... MN said no rules had been broken. So surely ageism is allowed, they can't just take down posts that insult the oldies.

bessytedsy · 17/01/2024 17:18

Just because an accurate descriptor of a generation doesn't apply to YOU doesn't make it incorrect when applied to a cohort.

100%

spearthatbroc · 17/01/2024 17:18

LauderSyme · 17/01/2024 16:53

OP you have not addressed why you previously felt justified in using age-related generalisations.

Or are you admitting that there was no justification and you were wrong to do so?

i wonder whether she will….

spearthatbroc · 17/01/2024 17:19

SwimmingWorrier · 17/01/2024 16:55

Why is Advanced Search there if it's not to be used?

The Op kicking up a stink because it’s simply revealed the hypocrisy of her indignant stance on this thread

It is a very useful tool!

bessytedsy · 17/01/2024 17:25

i wonder whether she will….

she’s had her arse handed to her so I reckon she’s flounced.

spearthatbroc · 17/01/2024 17:27

Agreed.

Truly the definition of “can give it but can’t take it”

SwimmingWorrier · 17/01/2024 17:29

spearthatbroc · 17/01/2024 17:19

The Op kicking up a stink because it’s simply revealed the hypocrisy of her indignant stance on this thread

It is a very useful tool!

I agree but some people think you are weird to use it. It's quite useful sometimes.

Naptrappedmummy · 17/01/2024 17:36

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 17/01/2024 16:29

Are you a bit bored? You seem a bit angry.

Oh come on OP you’ve been caught bang to rights!

MonsteraMama · 17/01/2024 18:08

Come on @SpongeBobJudgeyPants , your thread raised valid points, which I'm sure many of us agreed with. I know I do.

Ageism is wrong, and is rampant on this website, you are absolutely right. So, justify your own. Why is "snowflake" ok but "ok boomer" is hateful?

Don't flounce now, where's all that fire gone from your OP about people's hateful posts? This could be an actual learning moment for you if you'd swallow your pride.

bessytedsy · 17/01/2024 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Britpop123 · 17/01/2024 18:49

The op appears to be both correct (ageism is a problem on mumsnet that is rarely addressed) and a hypocrite (having demonstrated the very same “ism” herself)

brilliant

Crikeyalmighty · 17/01/2024 18:53

@bessytedsy I think the problem is that people take things very personally when in actual fact all that's being pointed out is a particular fact backed by data about the majority of people within a demographic-

It's like if I post that a large majority over 70s voted Brexit and yet aren't working- then there will be a clamour of 'don't tar us all with the same brush' (I'm 62 by the way) but it is an actual statistical fact- it isn't saying that you 'sue smith of Horsham' voted that way.

It isn't ageism in the sense you are discriminating against someone when used in this sense.
I think ageism is most common when used to deny people opportunities that should be open to all- employment clearly being a biggie, however I've seen it in things like 'meet ups' - there are some quite nice social groups in our city and specifically say 21 to 45 etc- now I'm a pretty youthful 62, work in entertainment and my friends are mainly early 40s- I've seen 38 year olds with less humph than me- so I do take umbrage that they are age restricting .

C8H10N4O2 · 17/01/2024 18:53

Flatulence · 17/01/2024 17:12

Even if we, personally, don't fit a generalisation about a generation surely we can see it applies at a cohort level?
I'm a xennial (early 40s). I've never liked skinny jeans and don't have a side parting. But when there are memes about people my age sporting those fashions it IS broadly accurate even though it doesn't apply to me personally.
I also know that people my age have had a MUCH easier ride re: student finance than someone in their twenties. That's despite me personally accruing and enormous debt for a variety of reasons. I can still see that - at a population level - it is true. The same applies to house buying. It was/is easier for people my age compared to people in their twenties even though for me, personally, it was incredibly hard.
Generalisations exist for a reason. They can be helpful to paint a picture of change. But they're not personal. Lots of younger people ARE - compared to people my age - interested in social justice and veganism and are in therapy (things, I'm sure, plenty will label "woke") even if 20-something Joe Bloggs reading this is a racist carnivore who drives a diesel 4x4. And it's true that it WAS easier for people now in their 60s to buy a house, save, and have a stable career, even if 68-year-old Joanna Bloggs reading this never bought a house and has lots of debt and lost her job in various recessions.
Tldr; stop taking things personally. Just because an accurate descriptor of a generation doesn't apply to YOU doesn't make it incorrect when applied to a cohort.

Just because an accurate descriptor of a generation doesn't apply to YOU doesn't make it incorrect when applied to a cohort

Which particular accurate descriptor do you mean?

"Young people are more judgemental", "Older people lose bone and muscle density" are age related descriptors which are true at cohort level, and apply to all generations as part of the ageing process.

"Older people had it easy" and "young people are snowflakes" are targeted at specific generations and are not accurate descriptors even at cohort level - they are used to other and dismiss whole groups. In particular they are used to mask and dismiss inequality within generations, sexes and races. Just think who benefits from that.

FWIW, my X/boomer boundary generation were regularly to be found marching on the streets for social justice and embracing vegetarianism and many other causes of the day. The original hippies were the older boomer generation from the 40s.

The reason most of my generation and the boomers don't have student debt round our necks is because most of our generations never had a sniff of a chance of going to university. It was out of reach for the vast majority. For those who went then as now - a percentage had wealthy parents who paid all the bills, the rest held down jobs.
As for building a stable career - women were routinely sacked, denied promotions, denied jobs and paid less simply for being women on an industrial scale. There was generational industrial chaos and job losses (for life in many cases resulting in enduring poverty).

Rather like sex, every generation thinks its discovered The One True way to live and manage society and despairs of the generation above (until they are the generation above).

However you would need to be seriously disconnected not to see the recent escalations in ageism and the propagation of "all older people are rich, greedy, stupid" tropes, especially tropes targeting older women. None of which are accurate even as descriptors of the generation let alone individuals within it.

If you think about "who benefits" from intergenerational strife its not the old or the young - its the people who benefit from the distraction from real inequality which straddles age, sex and race.

ruby1957 · 17/01/2024 18:54

Ap24 · 17/01/2024 17:15

I reported a post a while back that was saying all gen z are impossible to work with, narcissistic, lazy, entitled... MN said no rules had been broken. So surely ageism is allowed, they can't just take down posts that insult the oldies.

'oldies' is yet another nasty epithet applied to the older generation (all of us) could you not think of a kinder description.

That is ageism

bessytedsy · 17/01/2024 19:01

It's like if I post that a large majority over 70s voted Brexit and yet aren't working- then there will be a clamour of 'don't tar us all with the same brush' (I'm 62 by the way) but it is an actual statistical fact- it isn't saying that you 'sue smith of Horsham' voted that way.

@Crikeyalmighty This does my head in, if you dare say older people were more likely to vote Brexit which is an actual fact you get cries of ageism. As you say it doesn’t mean everyone over 70 voted Brexit.

baldpenguine · 17/01/2024 19:08

This hasn't gone well for you has it OP.

Britpop123 · 17/01/2024 19:26

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants has just dm’d me to have a got at me for being a troll/the thread police…

wow

spearthatbroc · 17/01/2024 19:27

Britpop123 · 17/01/2024 19:26

@SpongeBobJudgeyPants has just dm’d me to have a got at me for being a troll/the thread police…

wow

oooh
i am excitedly checking my PMs!

screen shot!! (i once got an awful one from a male poster telling me to “watch my back”!)

spearthatbroc · 17/01/2024 19:29

Good grief… the Op is all over other threads tonight bleating on and on about her horror at the ageism on mumsnet

I feel like i want to post a link to this thread on them!

bessytedsy · 17/01/2024 19:31

has just dm’d me to have a got at me for being a troll/the thread police…

they must be really bored & angry!

Britpop123 · 17/01/2024 19:33

bessytedsy · 17/01/2024 19:31

has just dm’d me to have a got at me for being a troll/the thread police…

they must be really bored & angry!

They ended with the withering put down “you’re not my mum lol” so we’re dealing with a genius here

Uricon2 · 17/01/2024 19:40

I am sort of oldish, just about officially boomer and I think every generation since the beginning of time has faced its challenges. Some have had it exceptionally bad (people born around early 1890s and also 1920 to name but two)

Blaming previous generations and those after you is cheap, easy and changes nothing. It is equivalent to the promotion of bread and circuses, when actually standing together to make things better for everyone, old and young, and not attacking each other like rats in a sack might.

eatsleepfarmrepeat · 17/01/2024 19:49

ruby1957 · 17/01/2024 18:54

'oldies' is yet another nasty epithet applied to the older generation (all of us) could you not think of a kinder description.

That is ageism

Really? At some point you surely accept you’re middle aged/old. That’s just a statement of fact, now you’re just looking to be offended. This thread is batshit.

Naptrappedmummy · 17/01/2024 19:51

eatsleepfarmrepeat · 17/01/2024 19:49

Really? At some point you surely accept you’re middle aged/old. That’s just a statement of fact, now you’re just looking to be offended. This thread is batshit.

Old age, as I’m repeatedly reminded by Gran, is a privilege denied to many Sad