UPDATE FROM MNHQ - new Hidden Gratitude feature

[YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet]

Today we’re launching a new feature called Hidden Gratitude. We’ve had many requests over the years for a like button on Mumsnet but shared concerns that some have expressed about it being a bit reductive and possibly turning discussions into a popularity contest.

Nonetheless, we think it would be nice to be able to thank posters for a particularly helpful or generous post. Hidden Gratitude is an easy way to show appreciation but as the name suggests, there will be no publicly visible 'like' count, only the user who has been given thanks can see it.

All you need to do is hit the “thanks” icon on the post you want to appreciate. The poster will receive a notification which will let them know who has “thanked” them. That’s it!

And, before you ask - at the time of writing we have no plans to introduce a hidden ingratitude button…

Could the thanks counter be public?

Sometimes in a huge thread there can be a handful of comments going against the crowd and they get absolutely piled on. If the number of 'thanks' on those posts were visible to all then it would perhaps add more weight and show the opinion of lurkers.

No! The whole point of this is to keep it hidden. If it becomes public, it risk becoming a horrible, competition. Which is one of the reasons a 'like' button hasn't been introduced.

From @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet's OP:

We’ve had many requests over the years for a like button on Mumsnet but shared concerns that some have expressed about it being a bit reductive and possibly turning discussions into a popularity contest.

@BIWI Personally I'm in favour of a Reddit style like button system. Mumsnet is currently super cliquey and in certain topics if you dare go against the grain then the bullying behaviour goes too far. If HQ won't moderate these things properly then they can at least provide a way for people to add their view without being torn to shreds. If HQ did their job then I wouldn't see a need for a like button system.

Sorry to sound rude, but I can't see any point to this at all... Like a few posters have said, if someone posts something deeply emotive, or very helpful and kind, and they get NO 'thanks,' it's going to make them feel quite low and pissed off. Like nobody cared about what they said, and no-one is interested.

The edit button is brilliant, and I am really happy that MN have now given people the ability to edit. Only thing I do wish, is that there was not an 'edit history...' I hate that. I think that if someone submits a post, and they edit it within say, 60 seconds (like, just correct a couple of typos,) that there's no need for an edit history.

You get an edit history on facebook posts, and for this reason, if I have made an error, I just copy what I have posted, and then delete it, and then re-post it/paste it ... with the corrections!

But yeah, a thanks button/gratitude button that only the poster can see seems pointless to me. Also though, I would not like to see a thanks button where all the 'thanks' are seen by everyone, as I have seen this on other boards, and it creates cliques. Eg, if 2 people are arguing about something (Lyn and Sam,) and Lyn gets 15-20 sets of 'thanks' and Sam only gets 2 or 3, it makes Lyn look more popular, and more 'correct,' and will make Sam feel like shit!

So, regarding the 'thanks' button/gratitude button ... it's a big fat NO from me.

Hello @Stravaig and @TheOhGodOfHangovers thanks v much for the screen recordings. It looks like something is blocking the script. Are you using content or ad-blocking software? If so, you'll need to turn it off to restore the functionality.

@InterFactual

@BIWI Personally, I'm in favour of a Reddit style like button system. Mumsnet is currently super cliquey and in certain topics if you dare go against the grain then the bullying behaviour goes too far.

But having a reddit style system where everyone can see all the 'likes,' is going to make the bullying worse, and create cliques... I don't see MN as having cliques either tbh ... I think it used to be a bit cliquey - but this past few years I don't see it.

I HATE 'thanks' buttons. As I (and @BIWI said,) it just creates a 'competition.' It makes it look like one person in any given argument is more popular, and more liked, and more 'correct,' when they get 20 'likes' and the other one only gets 2 or 3! And it can make the poster with much less 'likes' feel really upset and low.

Why on earth would you want MN to be like reddit? Whilst some of the boards are OK, some boards are particularly vile, with nasty little cliques, (with 6 or 7 'leaders' who seem to rule the board...) And anyone who doesn't toe the line, and say the 'correct' things on there, (ie; what the leaders of the clique deem suitable/acceptable,) is met with disdain and contempt, and bullied off by the leaders of the little clique - who rule the board.

And the 'like' button (which can also be used to DISlike a post,) is one of the reasons it's so cliquey, and horrible, and why 6 or 7 regulars end up running any given board, and driving people away.

As other posters also predicted, I've already seen on the royal topic a number of faux-modest and faux-twee-humoured posts along the lines of how lovely it is that others are 'thanking' them for their posts, and posters saying how they deserve it for a 'suberb post' or whatnot, and then they say how they'll thank them back blah blah. Absolute smuggery, designed to exclude posters with a neutral or different view from what's being (quite crudely) engineered as the prevailing conversation.

Now the feature has had a chance to settle, I hope MNHQ will take a view on its use, and discourage posters claiming on threads to have been 'thanked' X number of times etc, and see the tactic for what it is.

It's either private or it's not.

I don't see how anyone can be stopped from doing that @AutumnCrow

If the intention of the feature is to show a 'private gratitude', then boasting about it in a 'that's how right I am and how wrong you are because I'm getting lots of thanks actually' kind of way could be classed as being Not In The Spirit? To the best of my knowledge, that's why MNHQ take a dim view of goading and derailing - it hampers the development of the thread-based talk that posters come here for, and affects (negatively) users' experiences.

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps said it well about 'like' buttons on Reddit: 'And the 'like' button (which can also be used to DISlike a post,) is one of the reasons it's so cliquey, and horrible, and why 6 or 7 regulars end up running any given board, and driving people away.'

So yeah, I don't like seeing bragging about receiving X number of 'thanks' when it's supposed to be private, especially on threads/boards that are already prone to the quiche effect.

Oh crikey, it's already started has it? 🙄 I knew something like this would happen. The 'thanks/gratitude' button is supposed to be private/secret, and yet some posters are telling everyone how many people have 'thanked' them.

Then other people are coming in and saying 'aww that's OK ... it was a superb post!' That is shit, and is diminishing the 'thanks' being 'private...'

Not going to be long before cliques begin on certain threads (if they haven't already.)

As I said, I really don't see the point of this feature. Indeed, I really do dislike it.

As you say @AutumnCrow - and like I and @BIWI said, it's just going to create cliques and favouritism, and giving people the 'cold shoulder' ...

Cross post. Completely agree @AutumnCrow

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet could this be classed as 'not in the spirit' if someone is blathering about how many 'thanks' they are getting for their post(s?)

Well if I don't agree with someone then them telling me how many thanks they got is not going to stop me from giving my opinion so it won't make any difference to me.

Hopefully it's worth a ponder, about maybe having a general rule that the feature is for private thanks, not braggadocio on the thread. A bit like the rule, 'don't mention troll on the thread! Keep it behind the scenes, thank you.'

One of the things I've always liked about MN is that posters make their arguments and defend their arguments on their merits, from the daft to the serious. I don't want to know about or see silly 'popularity profiles' being manufactured to add some kind of delusional gravitas to a personal opinion.

Just make your case. Anyway, probably enough from me.

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet Stravaig has managed to solve this one for me. Resolved by deleting the mumsnet cookie and logging back in again.
(no ad blockers being used though)

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet

I love the idea of this feature, I will enjoy thanking someone privately without taking up a post in a thread.

What would be nice would be confirmation that the “Thanks” worked. When I click on it, it is underlined until I scroll. It would be nice if it were permanently underlined or if the icon was coloured in after clicking so that you know you thanks has worked.

I have read all the OP posts on this thread and not seen this addressed.

Thanks 😊

I use desktop and ipad browser and on both it stays permanently underlined.

Not sure about the app as I don't use that.

Also weird that I can thank posts on the iPad browser but not on the iPhone browser (iOS 16.6)

That is interesting @michalwave

I’m using an iPhone with the most recent update 16.6.1

I wonder if this means that the thanks function doesn’t work at all on iPhones then? 🤔

I've slowly realised a problem with the Hidden Gratitude feature. Usually, the community of posters define what the 'meaning' is of a certain button, emoticon, etc (the bicuit being the prime example since intrinsically is means nothing at all). But when the button is only activated privately, no social meaning can catch fire. We only have the raw functionality, which is a bit like a block of stone that hasn't been sculpted.

The result of this is that we can't become increasingly confident about the type of posts for which 'thanks' is appropriate. And we can't become increasingly confident about the tone in which our thanks will be heard.

I think 'thanks' needs social shaping, which means it needs to be public. I can see that, if public, it might degenerate into a like button, which wouldn't be good. If I was god of Mumsnet I would try to prevent that by removing the clapping pcture next to the button. Clapping suggests the kind of polarising herd endorsement that would increase hate on MN. Could we have instead of the clap?

The result of this is that we can't become increasingly confident about the type of posts for which 'thanks' is appropriate. And we can't become increasingly confident about the tone in which our thanks will be heard.

I find this. I usually want to give a nod to a post because I find it witty or well-expressed. I'm not sure I mean that I'm grateful or anything.

I also feel a bit sneaky, privately sending thanks. I'd rather a "Like" button that showed publicly that I'd liked something. I don't know if that's possible but, if it is, it might stop anonymous pile-ons.
I'm finding I'm going back to C&Ping the relevant bit of a post and the poster's name and putting a smile emoji or whatever.

No. I really don't think it's a good idea for it to be public.

And actually, although I think your post was well considered @Random789, I don't think it needs social shaping either.

It's up to the pressee (making up my own words now) to determine what they're using the thanks button for. But really - what else could it be for, other than to say 'thank you' or 'I like this post'?

If you want to make it more specific and/or public, then you have the option @LaMarschallin uses, of c+p and adding an emoji. Now we're not restricted to MN-only ones there's a range of expressions/symbols to choose from.

Making it public will only add to pile-ons, IMVHO.

BIWI

Making it public will only add to pile-ons, IMVHO.

Fair enough. My O is even more H as I have very little experience of SM (MN and a couple of cryptic crossword blogs) and none of it has involved the use of "Like" buttons.
I can certainly see the potential problems with anonymous likes.
My major gripe (as I've mentioned before) is people quoting massive posts and adding "This!" or an emoji, often straight after the actual post. I wish people would just put the poster's name +/- the bit they agree with.
However, all that scrolling will keep my thumb in good shape, I suppose

'Pressee' is fun, but think that would be the button itself rather than the presser of it.
Isn'y it lovely that we call them buttons. I have a huge box of mixed buttons that my mum bought in a jumble sale about 50 years ago. I should give it to MN. I'm sure that the right button for this subtle function would be buried somewhere in the box.

Agree about the quoting of huge posts followed by 'This'. Hate it. Much too much quoting going on, in my EMHO (even more humble opionion).

Making it public would be disastrous on MN 😂

cliquey, Royalty ganging up, nest of vipers, bullying... it's bad enough already!

My major gripe (as I've mentioned before) is people quoting massive posts and adding "This!" or an emoji, often straight after the actual post. I wish people would just put the poster's name +/- the bit they agree with.

@LaMarschallin some the royal family topic lot do this, but use 'superb post!' (spoiler: it never is) instead of an emoji, especially now that they've calmed down a bit from mentioning all the 'thanks' they're getting. It's all very stultifying.

Please, PLEASE convince Facebook to make reactions hidden also 🙏