Childfree Mumsnetters' Board?

[musixa]

There's been some discussion on this thread about the idea of a childfree/life without children board, so I thought I would raise the suggestion on Site Stuff

[[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4811166-to-ask-why-so-many-child-free-people-are-on-mumsnet?reply=126404125

My thinking is that the board would be a safe space for Mumsnetters who, for whether by choice or making the best of the hand they've been dealt, are embracing the childfree life, to discuss the issues that uniquely affect us - some examples I can think of are discrimination when it comes to workplace holidays; planning for old age and inheritance issues, how to cope when your friendship group only want to meet in child-friendly venues; family pressure to have children.

I would also hope it might stop so many threads like the linked one popping up, which often attract goady posters.

I hope you don't feel this is a step too far as a board suggestion and will give it serious consideration.

And yet the logo still says "by parents for parents"

If MN do this they should also change their strapline. I understand why they can't just change their name on a whim, but the strapline is misleading. It attracts new parents (mainly mums because it's a mainly female site and the name probably too). A without children board might attract the sort of people who I've mentioned already and I don't think that's a great idea to be encouraging young, struggling mother's and potentially Dave the rampant antinatalist who just hated breeders. Would need considerable thought tbh and I don't know if HQ has that bandwidth. But if so then I'd say do it.

Unless the threads didn’t show up in Active you’d get loads of parents stumbling across the threads, posting on them, which would then probably wind up the childless/childfree users of the board.

But that is what's happening with threads in general topics anyway. Sooner or later, someone who thinks they are very clever will post 'Why are you on MUMSnet?' or similar.

I agree, I would support it too. People can be very petty though so like PP said, I think it shouldn't show up in 'active' because people would post on it and it would probably just turn nasty as many threads do.

'Thirded'!

potentially Dave the rampant antinatalist who just hated breeders.

But, if you think about it, why would Dave the rampant anti-natalist join up to 'preach to the converted'? I don't mean the existing childfree Mnetters are anti-natalists, just there'd be no point preaching a 'don't have children' message to people who didn't have children. Dave is far likely to troll the abundance of parents in AIBU.

There are already a tonne of trolls on the boards, and even worse, nasty and spiteful posters who like to stick the boot in and be unnecessarily unkind to the OP. A lot of people probably find MN through a search engine and join for boards other than the parenting boards, AIBU for example covers loads of topics. I don't think having a space where but but but kids are amazing you're missing out isn't overly welcome is a bad thing.

Groups like antinatalists and incels thrive in each others company. Dave and co may feel they would be welcomed which would ruin the board and site. But as you say, a trial maybe with strict zero tolerance

If one of the broader 'without children' topic titles was chosen, this wouldn't actually exclude parents - surely, once you are a parent, you are always a parent, whether your children are still part of your life or not.

😄

That's a phenomenal amount of hyperbole in one post.

And I doubt that MN will change its strapline if a new board is created. Yes, the old strapline is outdated and could do with a change but not because of a proposed new board.

To do so requires the ability to think critically, so I think you have the answer to your question.

The 'no children by choice' and 'no children not by choice' are two different outlook. They shouldn't be corralled together. One doesn't want children, the other does want children but can't have them/hasn't got any yet. I don't think it's fair on the latter to group them together. I also doubt anyone has made fun of the latter. That would be cruel.

I think this would potentially be a good thing.
It is very tiresome having to answer the question of why are you on mumsnet if you don't have children? Yes mumsnet is a parenting site, however, it's gone far beyond just that in the wide variety of topics it covers that have absolutely nothing to do with parenting.
Also several posters have given good examples of things that could be posted which don't necessarily fit in with other sections or could be better answered by posters that don't have children (for whatever reason).
I find it odd the defensiveness of no one other than parents are allowed to be on this site when so many different areas are covered. As others have pointed out if you don't want to take part in whatever thread or topic you simply scroll past it, no one is under any obligation to post, same as any other topic.
Also just because you don't have children (again for whatever reason) it doesn't mean you dislike children or parents either.

I think you are quite naive if you think I am being hyperbolic

@PaddlingPoollyColour you sound oddly triggered by this suggestion.

i think there is a difference between women who found the site when they were mothers/pregnant who insist mumsnet is all about mothers ‘look at the name’ mothers are the most important on the site etc but I’m afraid it’s simply not true.

I’ve been on mumsnet around 5 years and only recently had my first child. Before this I bought a house ( property/diy/gardening threads), a dog (pets forum and the dog house), had an illness (health), went to many weddings (style and beauty), put on weight and tried multiple diets (weight loss boards), read a lot of books and watched alot of movies and tv shows (telly addicts, films, books) and went on a lot of holidays (travel) and got very interested in women’s rights (feminism)

mumsnet has not been about mums specifically for a long long time and I think some mothers (in particular those for whom being a mother is their entire personality) struggle with this. I would say many other mothers like myself now see mumsnet as a great place for women to talk about anything

I think this board would be a great addition and in particular to discuss some of the important issues around care and pension in old age brought up by the @musixa @LilyMumsnet I can’t see any issue with having this board on the site. I never even clicked on the being a parent sub heading until I had my child.

🙄

Thanks 👍

Of course I realise that @Jeezuswept. I am completely supportive of childfree by choice and otherwise posters and have said so more than once on here. However, I would be concerned that a child free board may attract the type of childfree rhetoric I have encountered many times online including sometimes on Mumsnet. If you don't believe me as you have not encountered this attitude then lucky you

I encountered irl before I had any notion of having my own dcs too. Sorry people think I'm being ott but maybe I've just seen more shit people than you have and that's just my bad luck isn't it? Not need to stick the boot in and get arsey when I've been pretty clear I am supportive of childfree, childless and people with children until they behave like cunts that is. Then they can do one

I actually really agree with both of these comments. Whilst I am childfree by choice (and don’t feel I need a space on Mumsnet) I really don’t align with the need to slag off parents and kids, which is rife the second anyone starts a thread on the subject. Strong moderation on a board might make it quite interesting.

Equally, parents need to understand that talking about the benefits to a childfree existence can be of comfort to those who are childfree NOT by choice, and those benefits are not intended as a diss.

@Clapyourhandssayyeah1 I am in favour of the board as long as it is moderated. I am indeed quite triggered by antinatalists and incels (who use antinatalist rhetoric and have targeted this site in the past) so perhaps you can understand why I am wary. Laugh all you like at me being triggered and hyperbolic (what's next? Hysterical)? It doesn't bother me

I had no feeling either way but I am totally against the idea of moderating the proposed board more strictly than other boards. If a new board is created, it should be held to the same standards as other boards and not singled out for more intensive moderating because of hurty feels.

It obviously does bother you.

You just said it triggers you, so you want the board to be moderated.

@PaddlingPoollyColour I suggest you stay off these other boards full of incels etc if that’s all you can think about when childfree or childless women are asking for a space on mumsnet that would likely be very valuable to them. As it is, there is nothing to stop those people joining the site already and harassing any threads. You don’t need to provide proof of having given birth to be a member. So your point is irrelevant.

I don't think it would be helpful. I don't know many mums interested in the opinions of people who don't even have children and that kind of board would attract more people without children. Forums can lose their way when they get too broad. The internet is a big place with plenty of space for everyone but I'm so sick of everyone feeling they have a right to be in another groups space.

For those who don't like the idea of a board for posters without children, fine. Hide it.

I don't know many mums interested in the opinions of people who don't even have children

Really? So I’m day to day life, do you only engage with mums? Do you ask every woman you encounter whether she’s a mum before you deem her worthy of your time and attention?