Childfree Mumsnetters' Board?

[musixa]

There's been some discussion on this thread about the idea of a childfree/life without children board, so I thought I would raise the suggestion on Site Stuff

[[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4811166-to-ask-why-so-many-child-free-people-are-on-mumsnet?reply=126404125

My thinking is that the board would be a safe space for Mumsnetters who, for whether by choice or making the best of the hand they've been dealt, are embracing the childfree life, to discuss the issues that uniquely affect us - some examples I can think of are discrimination when it comes to workplace holidays; planning for old age and inheritance issues, how to cope when your friendship group only want to meet in child-friendly venues; family pressure to have children.

I would also hope it might stop so many threads like the linked one popping up, which often attract goady posters.

I hope you don't feel this is a step too far as a board suggestion and will give it serious consideration.

I'm childfree and I like the idea. Thanks for suggesting it, @musixa.

I'm quite taken aback at the level of hostility from some over the proposed mere existence of a new board.

Womanhood is a broad and diverse experience. For some, parenting is a core part of that life experience. For others of us, that's not our path.

Mumsnet drew me in because it's crammed full of clever, knowledgeable, funny women whose comments make me think and make me laugh.

There are some boards where I recognise and can relate to the experiences of other posters. I don't have that experience when it comes to parenting-focused boards.

So it'd be nice to have a little childfree section, for dealing with those times in life when it's just a thing, and also for when it's a great big thing. It wouldn't be the only board I'd loiter in. Why would we not be allowed that voice?

There’s literally no point. People will post a thread in the Childfree board, it will get 0 replies, then people will post in AIBU/Chat ‘for traffic’ instead.

I feel like many of the PPs posting haven’t looked very widely in mumsnet if they think it’s primarily a parenting forum. It’s an unusual (and often fucking awesome) corner of the internet where women’s voices are centred. If a childfree board would be a useful space to some members of the community then I’d support it.

Anyone posting pregnancy tests on AIBU is BVVVVVU, sorry to say. Should be an instant ban.

anyway, carry on.

I think it would be good to have somewhere for those who no longer have a child or couldn't have one and prefer to avoid the obviously fertile and those with offspring, as well as finding this a good place to exchange views and opinions on many things that are not child related.

Not everyone wants to be reminded of what they don't have but would still like the option to mix with those that do have it, or mix with those that don't want it.

Just a PSA for all the 'this is mostly about parenting!!!' posters. A reminder of the topics on the site:

Spoiler - the majority of them don't involve discussions on parenting

Amen! Some parents on MN get oddly defensive about anyone discussing being child free.

If only. A woman made a post the other day about being single, childless and lonely and asked for advice from others in a similar position on how to come to terms with it. First comment was from a woman saying I know what you mean, well I have children myself actually, and was then followed by a pile-on for the OP who told the poster that that wasn't what she was looking for.

Some women take great pleasure in kicking childless women when they're down, no idea why. You'd think they were unhappy with their lives or something

Some women take great pleasure in kicking childless women when they're down, no idea why. @BodegaSushi

That's people for you unfortunately. Lots of people are really good at kicking other people when they are down.

It isn't about avoiding the child sections (I love a baby name thread).

It is about being able to discuss issues that affect childless or childfree women (there are differences but many of the issues are similar) in a space where (hopefully) we can be free of the crappy posts like:

Why are you on Mumsnet, it's for parents

Who will look after you when you are old

You don't know love until you have a baby

Why do you want the school holidays off work

Of course your pets aren't your family

You can't be a family without children etc etc etc etc etc

"by parents for parents"

Will need a new strapline then.

This is a site about parenting. Mums (the default parent) - fine. Wannabee parents - fine. Male parents - fine. Single parents - fine. Stepparents - fine. Foster parents - fine. Adopter parents - fine. Empty nest parents - fine. Struggling parents - fine. Grandparents - fine. Regretful parents - fine. Bereaved parents - fine. Not currently a parent but curious about being a parent someday - fine.

But "Never wanted to be a parent and intensely dislike threads by parents for parents" - not fine. Not fine at all.

I get it OP. Mumsnet isn't really about the 'mum' part for me, it's just a community of women that I can relate to. I have been posting for years, initially as a potential mum, but have not been able to have children and still like to be here. I'd appreciate a childfree board because I don't have anywhere else to explore/share on this subject and it is a complex one. I'm not frustrated but the mum-related content, though - that seems a bit odd on here!

Maybe it could be renamed to Sexnet then, because clearly that topic existing has shattered the foundation of the forum 🥴

Agree with Mark19735

I’m childfree and not sure it’s needed, but would support.

Came to MN for step-parenting boards. Stayed for peri-meno/AIBU.

I think Mumsnet is just the wrong name for what MN is now. It’s pretty much an all-inclusive chat site.

That said, I am quite bored of muppets who use the name as a god-I’m-clever-mic-drop “…err, fuck off you Not-Mums, this is MUMSnet” so anything that educates that loud minority would be kinda great.

Most of the content of the boards is not about parenting. This would just be 1 more non-parenting board. Why is that so threatening? You could just ignore it or hide if it's not your cup of tea.

Most of us who are not parents feel no hostility to, or disdain for, parents. Some of my favourite people are parents. Almost all of the adults in my massive family are parents. But a childfree board would be "not fine at all"? Why?

The childfree board on Reddit has one and a half million users, and there are offshoot boards, like childfree dating, childfree friendship, antinatalism.

As pp said the board here (a place which started as a parenting forum) - if it were created - would probably be low traffic.

That said, I am quite bored of muppets who use the name as a god-I’m-clever-mic-drop “…err, fuck off you Not-Mums, this is MUMSnet” so anything that educates that loud minority would be kinda great.

This with bells on.

I'm childfree and adore mumsnet. Came for the Penis beaker, got my worldview turned upside down by the feminist boards, just love the women here. I realise that reddit exists but it's so much better here. I think overall I support a childfree board because it would encourage more women to be involved in mumsnet and imo that can only be a good thing, but I obviously have nothing against the parenting threads as it is called mumsnet.

It’s astonishing how many people simply cannot bear for a different group to them to be supported.

why in earth would you flounce from a website you enjoy because of the presence of a board that you don’t need to engage with and could easily hide?

Mumsnet doesn't need a section for childfree people, FFS.

Just like a church doesn't need to provide the Qur'an at its weekly Bible study, or the Real Ale club needs to provide drinks for wine-lovers.

There's already a fair amount of people on here banging on about how wonderful being child free is. It doesn't make for a particularly supportive environment for mothers.

Go to Ovarit, Childfree Reddit, Femvox (if that's still a thing?!) or any one of the many, many other places where you can discuss Not Having a Child.

I used to be a member of a childfree by choice forum back in the day and parents who’d been childfree by choice previously were welcomed if they wanted to be there. There was absolutely no gatekeeping whatsoever by the childfree women and no snide comments of the like that are so prevalent from mums towards childless people here. Nobody posting going “this is CHILDFREE BY CHOICE FORUM! gotcha!!!!” every ten bloody minutes.

I really miss that forum and wish it still existed.

"Never wanted to be a parent and intensely dislike threads by parents for parents"

is that genuinely how you choose to label all childless and child free people?

Did parenting affect your ability to be a decent person?

Did they have a section specifically for parents?

Do most churches have a large Muslim population? Or real ale clubs attract wine lovers? If not then your analogies are moot. The reality is that Mumsnet welcomes child free posters and as part of that it makes sense to have a board discussing issues that specifically affect people without children.

you clearly personally resent that - why? It doesn’t impact you in any way