Childfree Mumsnetters' Board?

[musixa]

There's been some discussion on this thread about the idea of a childfree/life without children board, so I thought I would raise the suggestion on Site Stuff

[[https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4811166-to-ask-why-so-many-child-free-people-are-on-mumsnet?reply=126404125

My thinking is that the board would be a safe space for Mumsnetters who, for whether by choice or making the best of the hand they've been dealt, are embracing the childfree life, to discuss the issues that uniquely affect us - some examples I can think of are discrimination when it comes to workplace holidays; planning for old age and inheritance issues, how to cope when your friendship group only want to meet in child-friendly venues; family pressure to have children.

I would also hope it might stop so many threads like the linked one popping up, which often attract goady posters.

I hope you don't feel this is a step too far as a board suggestion and will give it serious consideration.

I’m childfree by choice and would support that board if the experience of other childfree women is that they need it.

That said, I’ve no idea what I would discuss there that I couldn’t discuss in the other areas of the site. I came for property advice and stayed for the litter tray.

At the end of the day, it markets itself as by women and for women and I’m a woman. I think I deserve to be here in a safe space for women. There will be odd people who hate the childfree and/or think we don’t belong here, in the same way there will be odd childfree people who vocally diss mothers and kids. I bet they all jump the queue for the bus and eat the last biscuit without replacing the packet. Dickheads be dickheads in all walks of life.

@turnipthebeet I wouldn't worry about it. The more people who use it the better for the site, so it will always be open to all. I think people are misled by the name, then get annoyed, but really mumsnet should change it to womensnet, or some other more accurate name.

I have no objection to a child free board, but my question was, is that level of granularity needed?

Yes.

Do we need a chat-parking board and a chat-neighbour issues or do we leave them scooped into chat?

No. Chat is fine.

I don't think it would be helpful. I don't know many mums interested in the opinions of people who don't even have children

Good. They don't have to read it. It's not for them.

I don't know many mums interested in the opinions of people who don't even have children

That level of ignorance is astonishing.

No - that isn't how it works with other community-specific boards. With your gardening example, general gardening queries sit in gardening, but if you wanted advice about plants that are safe for dogs to be around, you might post in The Doghouse, or if you were based in Australia you might post in the Aussie Mnetters board to avoid irrelevant advice about plants that were only suitable for a UK climate.

Some people are really outing themselves as small minded and not even realising they're doing it.

OP, please don't talk sense, some on this board will be driven away, I tell you.

But they do merge occasionally. I was childless not by choice originally but now consider myself more childfree than childless. I would love a childfree board.

If it were up to me that's what would happen and I stand by it whatever you call me. Nasty, scaremongering, triggered, hurty feelings. What else have people launched at me because I disagree with them 🤔? I'm sure there are more

You missed the chance to call us haters. As for calling you names. I haven't the interest in you or your opinions that you flatter yourself I have.

I know. It would be a shame, but the show must go on.

I use different forums for non dc stuff. I like this forum for the predominately female base of mothers/those ttc who have given me both excellent advice and had me recoiling in horror at some of the things they do that I wouldn't dream of!!

The infertility board is overwhelmingly focused on people trying to have children despite infertility. There’s very little crossover with the interests of those who are trying to accept childlessness and those who never tried to have children.

@HeidiUpTheMountain 100%. It's a bit of a revelation just how much dislike and suspicion there is.

@PaddlingPoollyColour

Another memorable one was the poster who said she was only on Mumsnet because she wanted to see parents struggling to reinforce her choice to be childfree 🙄😂. Sounds like normal and well adjusted reason to be here.

You don't have to dig too far to find sub reddits or IG accounts on childfree by choice. Parenting accounts get bombarded by the childfree is so much better crew.

This in spades. ^

I have no problem with child free by choice women, OR single women who are as happy as pigs in shite being perma-single/never married. But what DOES piss me off and grind my gears, is this desperation they have to put down married women, and mothers, and crow about how it's sooooooooo much better being single and CHILDFREE. 🙄 And on a bloody PARENTING site too!

As MN said on another thread, of course childfree women are welcome here (as are men,) but don't come here and berate and mock married women/ mothers; trying to make out their child free single life is so much better, and all married women with children are downtrodden handmaidens with no life, who are tied to the kitchen sink. Blathering on about how they are 'free' and 'happy' and not tied down, and can fly off to Paris for the weekend at the drop of a hat, and stay out til 3am partying and getting pissed, and lie in til midday.

That's all well and good, but there's only so long you can keep doing that. Clubbing and partying and getting pissed every week at 40 is not a good look. As someone who is middle aged and been married almost a quarter century, I can tell you I am not remotely envious of any single woman - whether she is perma single or divorced. (Or widowed!) There's nothing to be jealous of IMO. But I don't start threads banging on about how gloriously bloody happy I am being married with children. Because frankly, it would be a fucking weird thing to do! Like I was trying to convince myself.

I had my years of being single, and had a great time partying and clubbing and travelling in my teens, and 20s, before I had children. Also, do these women think that once you're married (with children) that you cannot ever leave the house again - go for meals, go out with friends, travel, go to parties, have a career? Such blinkered, narrow-minded views.

As I and many others said on a thread the other day (about how more and more women are 'allegedly' staying single,) the single woman who is often portrayed - glamourous, successful, professional, on a 6 figure a year salary, living in a £300K city apartment she has bought on her own, and living the high life travelling the world with her amazing big flash job, is the exception rather than the rule. There are more single women who struggle financially, and don't have a pot to piss in, and crave someone to share life's burdens with, and the financial load!

Are there no 'childfree' forums already? Not being goady, just wondered why Mumsnet seems the best place to have one?

That was a horrendous post/poster; I reported it but I think it's still there.

You don’t get it? Fine, you are not required to read any of the posts on such a board or part take in them.

I am amused by the description of people who choose not to have children as "over the moon about their life choices".

There are some very peculiar ideas on this thread.

I had missed this previously, but what an extraordinary post.

Why on earth would mums only be interested in the opinions of people who have children? I am not aware that popping out a child or two makes your opinions any more or less valid or interesting than those of the next person?

As a mother, I am really not interested in the views of narrow-minded, unintelligent posters. However, I'm always happy to hear what intelligent, witty and open-minded individuals have to say on any topic, regardless of whether or not they have children.

Right? That poster is literally proving the point 😂

The discussion is about a board, not a forum. Two different things.

I like your style.

Thanks for all the helpful posters pointing out that it's called MUMSnet, us childless one must have missed that 🙄

I think it's a good idea. Many of us found mumsnet when trying to become a mum. I found it first looking at the conception and pregnancy sections, I then spent years getting great support on the infertility section as I went through repeated fertility treatments and recurrent miscarriages.

I am still here because I enjoy the other non parent topics. I also give advice to the infertility threads drawn from my experiences.

A thread for childless women to discuss all of the issues mentioned in the OP would be fantastic.

As pp have said, mumsnet forum is now bigger than it was when it was set up. It's now the biggest women centric forum for discussions about anything and everything.

I love it. Time and time again, people are proving the reason for a separate topic