Page 12 | Moderation Sex Board

onirgellep · 2023-04-13T22:06:31+00:00

Back in February Justine* committed to an urgent review of moderation of the Sex Board subsequent to the considerable concerns mainly arising from the longstanding Sex Chat thread Unsurprisingly, issues continue Would it be possible to have an update on the progress of the review? And hear when do you anticipate it being completed and the new moderation put into action? Thank you *I'm afraid I'm unable to link Justine's post on the thread *References to Underage Sex on the Sex Board* page 13

TheBayTreeMurder · 14/04/2023 20:53

Yeah true.

Not the fisting and tit wanks that you want I suppose

Maybebe · 14/04/2023 20:56

TheBayTreeMurder · 14/04/2023 20:53

Yeah true.

Not the fisting and tit wanks that you want I suppose

Sigh.

Mermaidparades · 14/04/2023 20:56

Thats me put back in my box, huh? How dare I be a woman and sexual?!

TheBayTreeMurder · 14/04/2023 20:57

I'm not engaging with you mermaids. You tend to spout a lot of nonsense but yes - hurray if you're going back in your box

SomethingInTheOrange · 14/04/2023 20:58

TheBayTreeMurder · 14/04/2023 20:51

@Maybebe then let's call it the women's sexual health board or something.

Yes, that’s been suggested previously. It’s a shame that many women feel they can’t post on the sex board because it’s been taken over. There’s no way I’d post there, no women I know in real life that use mumsnet would either. You only need to read the threads over there to see what most of it is. Pretend scenarios and people getting off on oversharing as mentioned previously.

WavingAtTheClouds · 14/04/2023 20:59

BenCoopersSupportWren · 14/04/2023 19:18

One of the reasons it would be better to have different, more stringent moderation rules for the Sex board is to protect Mumsnet itself, as the legal entity. It is part of the registration T&Cs that MN own the copyright for anything posted here. If posts or links pertaining to illegal or illicit material are allowed to stand here, there is a risk that MN itself could be held liable of hosting inappropriate material, with all the consequences that flow from that. (I did try to explain some of those risk in the “References to Underaged Sex” thread of which I was the OP, but I’m not sure Justine / MNHQ quite fully grasped the potential extent of their legal liability.)

Of course people / trolls can post links to pornography or similar anywhere on the site, but the nature of the Sex board means it’s more likely something may be posted in good faith by a regular poster - as appears to have been the case here - so it is an occupational hazard arising from the board content.

There is a precedent for different standards of moderation in different parts of the site: we woman of FWR are subjected to tighter controls over the language we can use in our posts than posters elsewhere, including the bear pit of AIBU, and there is a “three strikes and you’re out” banning mechanism in operation there, i.e. if you transgress the special (and somewhat opaque) FWR TG three times within a certain rolling period, you’re banned. I don’t see why a similar policy can’t apply to the Sex Board for anyone who repeatedly tries to get round the “no hook up threads” rules or who persists in posting NSFW links?

I will continue to advocate for tighter registrations to be able to post on the Sex board and for proactive moderation to weed out the creeps, perves and trolls before any damage is done to those who might be triggered by particularly inappropriate posts referring to illegal practices (e.g. CSA, rape, incest etc). I’m no prude, I have used other sex-based sites to enjoy written erotica on a range of sexual topics, and one of the reasons I would continue to use them over MN’s Sex board is precisely because they take their duties as a host of NSFW material much more seriously than is the case here. Strong moderation gives the users of such boards a certain level of protection and security in a variety of ways and should be welcomed by anyone who can see the inherent risks in playing fast and loose with adult-themed material, not resisted.

Im gonna start my post by saying i don't want to engage with arguing, something is concerning me. The previous update on moderation when safeguarding concerns were raised, said the website is for over 18s only and that they will suspend users they suspect to be under 18.

This is not happening. Even when a poster says they're not 18+ and MNHQ are alerted, MN haven't done what they said they do and suspending under 18s. That's worrying because if children are posting on here and there's no age verification before interacting with the sex topic, nobody can know they are not interacting with a someone who is not an adult.

I reported a thread elsewhere on the site started by a child a few days ago and I included the reason I reported was because of the no under 18s on MN said during safeguarding discussions I was thanked for flagging the child's thread but they were giving the child the benefit of the doubt.

I have replied and asked for clarification if they have changed their stance on allowing children to post on MN and if they have, what steps are in place to stop children ending up interacting with the sex topic. Or even having threads moved there from elsewhere on the site because I've seen one moved there where posters have suggested the OP is a school child. I don't know if any checks were done before moving that to the sex board.

I don't care if consenting adults want to sexually pleasure each other via messages, or that they want to discuss squirting, fisting, anal or whatever on threads with each other, crack on, I do care that those discussions are happening where children post, with what looks like no safeguarding of adults who have been told mn is for 18+. I don't use Reddit and Twitter for that reasons and I'd have hoped a parenting site at least, would be doing everything they can to reduce children accessing that on their site.

I didn't start my own thread on site stuff because I don't want to be accused of having a vendetta or being self appointed police, it's a genuine coincidence that the evening I saw a thread started by a child, happened to be the same time the thread with a link to adult sex chat website, I didn't see that thread or the people who requested private sexual messages so I'm not commenting on any of that and I don't plan to engage in any of that discussion.

The moderation of the gardening topic has been compared the sex boards a few times over the site stuff threads, it's totally different to me because I don't mind if the person I'm discussing daffodils with turns out to be not an adult, I very much do mind discussing sexual issues with turns out to be teenage child, most adults would find that upsetting and if MN ok with both children and adult sexual content being on their website they really should be making minimal effort to reduce the chances of adults engaging in sexual threads with teenage children.

I'm gonna dip back out now.

TheBayTreeMurder · 14/04/2023 21:00

@SomethingInTheOrange I'll never forget one bloke asking what butt plug he should get his wife. And another who would literally beg for PMs from any willing female. Oh and the guy who was obsessed with finding a pair of trousers he could access easily for outdoor shagging

So I agree with you. What self respecting woman would want to post there in all seriousness?

LangClegsInSpace · 14/04/2023 21:09

What about the threads on the sex forum genuinely posted by women and genuinely responded to, by women? What about the women who have a problem/concern/issue of a sexual nature and have no one to talk to in read life? What about the mothers who came to know mumsnet through surfing on their phones during the 3am feed who now find themselves in a different phase of their lives and have different questions to ask?

Which of these groups of women include you @Maybebe ?

TheShellBeach · 14/04/2023 21:16

@WavingAtTheClouds has made some really important points about the safeguarding of children on this site.

Mermaidparades · 14/04/2023 21:18

TheBayTreeMurder · 14/04/2023 20:57

I'm not engaging with you mermaids. You tend to spout a lot of nonsense but yes - hurray if you're going back in your box

Nice.

LangClegsInSpace · 14/04/2023 21:20

WavingAtTheClouds · 14/04/2023 20:59

Im gonna start my post by saying i don't want to engage with arguing, something is concerning me. The previous update on moderation when safeguarding concerns were raised, said the website is for over 18s only and that they will suspend users they suspect to be under 18.

This is not happening. Even when a poster says they're not 18+ and MNHQ are alerted, MN haven't done what they said they do and suspending under 18s. That's worrying because if children are posting on here and there's no age verification before interacting with the sex topic, nobody can know they are not interacting with a someone who is not an adult.

I reported a thread elsewhere on the site started by a child a few days ago and I included the reason I reported was because of the no under 18s on MN said during safeguarding discussions I was thanked for flagging the child's thread but they were giving the child the benefit of the doubt.

I have replied and asked for clarification if they have changed their stance on allowing children to post on MN and if they have, what steps are in place to stop children ending up interacting with the sex topic. Or even having threads moved there from elsewhere on the site because I've seen one moved there where posters have suggested the OP is a school child. I don't know if any checks were done before moving that to the sex board.

I don't care if consenting adults want to sexually pleasure each other via messages, or that they want to discuss squirting, fisting, anal or whatever on threads with each other, crack on, I do care that those discussions are happening where children post, with what looks like no safeguarding of adults who have been told mn is for 18+. I don't use Reddit and Twitter for that reasons and I'd have hoped a parenting site at least, would be doing everything they can to reduce children accessing that on their site.

I didn't start my own thread on site stuff because I don't want to be accused of having a vendetta or being self appointed police, it's a genuine coincidence that the evening I saw a thread started by a child, happened to be the same time the thread with a link to adult sex chat website, I didn't see that thread or the people who requested private sexual messages so I'm not commenting on any of that and I don't plan to engage in any of that discussion.

The moderation of the gardening topic has been compared the sex boards a few times over the site stuff threads, it's totally different to me because I don't mind if the person I'm discussing daffodils with turns out to be not an adult, I very much do mind discussing sexual issues with turns out to be teenage child, most adults would find that upsetting and if MN ok with both children and adult sexual content being on their website they really should be making minimal effort to reduce the chances of adults engaging in sexual threads with teenage children.

I'm gonna dip back out now.

Show quote history

Well said.

Clymene · 14/04/2023 21:24

That's a really excellent point @WavingAtTheClouds. I don't know if it's the same thread but I've definitely read one recently where the OP was very clear they were a teenager.

Maybebe · 14/04/2023 21:29

LangClegsInSpace · 14/04/2023 21:09

What about the threads on the sex forum genuinely posted by women and genuinely responded to, by women? What about the women who have a problem/concern/issue of a sexual nature and have no one to talk to in read life? What about the mothers who came to know mumsnet through surfing on their phones during the 3am feed who now find themselves in a different phase of their lives and have different questions to ask?

Which of these groups of women include you @Maybebe ?

All of them @LangClegsInSpace

I'm a mother, I first used Mumsnet 12 years ago when I was feeding my pfb through the night. Then again, three years later when my second baby didn't sleep and had a CMPA.

I posted on various boards asking for help with co-sleeping, breastfeeding, weaning a baby with allergies. Then I posted on the sex board in 2021 asking a question - asking if I was alone in my thinking and if anyone else had had similar experiences. There was no one I could talk to in real life about it. No one.

The replies to my thread helped me enormously, made me feel heard, not judged not shamed and importantly not alone - just as the threads about babies with milk allergies had all those years ago.

I am still very good friends with a group of women I met through asking me question on the sex board. They have helped me through some very tough times and I will always be grateful for that. I know they’re women because I’ve met them in person; they all empathised with me, they all had no one else to talk to and they all posted on my thread.

Not perverts, not sex pests, not men. Normal, 30-50 something year old women. Some mothers, some single, some married, some divorced. All open minded and sex positive and all of them amazing women.

SomethingInTheOrange · 14/04/2023 21:34

TheBayTreeMurder · 14/04/2023 21:00

@SomethingInTheOrange I'll never forget one bloke asking what butt plug he should get his wife. And another who would literally beg for PMs from any willing female. Oh and the guy who was obsessed with finding a pair of trousers he could access easily for outdoor shagging

So I agree with you. What self respecting woman would want to post there in all seriousness?

Easy access trousers, stumbling across random people masturbating and watching, having an outdoor threesome with an extra blow job on the motorway whilst driving home written like some very bad erotic fiction story, the help needed to buy a small box to store sex toys that escalated fast to become a trunk/chest that was needed for his vast collection of sex toys that he underestimated the number of. Not forgetting the man who got off to seeing people use ‘raw chickens’ to have sex with. 🧐 All what I would call either made up or over sharing, and definitely not suitable for mumsnet.

SquareRootOfAllEvil · 14/04/2023 21:47

WavingAtTheClouds · 14/04/2023 20:59

Im gonna start my post by saying i don't want to engage with arguing, something is concerning me. The previous update on moderation when safeguarding concerns were raised, said the website is for over 18s only and that they will suspend users they suspect to be under 18.

This is not happening. Even when a poster says they're not 18+ and MNHQ are alerted, MN haven't done what they said they do and suspending under 18s. That's worrying because if children are posting on here and there's no age verification before interacting with the sex topic, nobody can know they are not interacting with a someone who is not an adult.

I reported a thread elsewhere on the site started by a child a few days ago and I included the reason I reported was because of the no under 18s on MN said during safeguarding discussions I was thanked for flagging the child's thread but they were giving the child the benefit of the doubt.

I have replied and asked for clarification if they have changed their stance on allowing children to post on MN and if they have, what steps are in place to stop children ending up interacting with the sex topic. Or even having threads moved there from elsewhere on the site because I've seen one moved there where posters have suggested the OP is a school child. I don't know if any checks were done before moving that to the sex board.

I don't care if consenting adults want to sexually pleasure each other via messages, or that they want to discuss squirting, fisting, anal or whatever on threads with each other, crack on, I do care that those discussions are happening where children post, with what looks like no safeguarding of adults who have been told mn is for 18+. I don't use Reddit and Twitter for that reasons and I'd have hoped a parenting site at least, would be doing everything they can to reduce children accessing that on their site.

I didn't start my own thread on site stuff because I don't want to be accused of having a vendetta or being self appointed police, it's a genuine coincidence that the evening I saw a thread started by a child, happened to be the same time the thread with a link to adult sex chat website, I didn't see that thread or the people who requested private sexual messages so I'm not commenting on any of that and I don't plan to engage in any of that discussion.

The moderation of the gardening topic has been compared the sex boards a few times over the site stuff threads, it's totally different to me because I don't mind if the person I'm discussing daffodils with turns out to be not an adult, I very much do mind discussing sexual issues with turns out to be teenage child, most adults would find that upsetting and if MN ok with both children and adult sexual content being on their website they really should be making minimal effort to reduce the chances of adults engaging in sexual threads with teenage children.

I'm gonna dip back out now.

Show quote history

Agree with everything WavingAtTheClouds said.

LangClegsInSpace · 14/04/2023 21:54

Maybebe · 14/04/2023 21:29

All of them @LangClegsInSpace

I'm a mother, I first used Mumsnet 12 years ago when I was feeding my pfb through the night. Then again, three years later when my second baby didn't sleep and had a CMPA.

I posted on various boards asking for help with co-sleeping, breastfeeding, weaning a baby with allergies. Then I posted on the sex board in 2021 asking a question - asking if I was alone in my thinking and if anyone else had had similar experiences. There was no one I could talk to in real life about it. No one.

The replies to my thread helped me enormously, made me feel heard, not judged not shamed and importantly not alone - just as the threads about babies with milk allergies had all those years ago.

I am still very good friends with a group of women I met through asking me question on the sex board. They have helped me through some very tough times and I will always be grateful for that. I know they’re women because I’ve met them in person; they all empathised with me, they all had no one else to talk to and they all posted on my thread.

Not perverts, not sex pests, not men. Normal, 30-50 something year old women. Some mothers, some single, some married, some divorced. All open minded and sex positive and all of them amazing women.

Show quote history

So are you happy with the influx of pervy blokes who feel welcome here because of 'sex positive' women like you who are up for a chat?

Maybebe · 14/04/2023 22:05

@LangClegsInSpace I didn't say I was up for a sexy chat. Nor did I say that I supported the "sex chat" thread.

I am however saying that not everyone who posts on the sex board is a man or a perv. I am also not judging the women who do want a "sexy chat" - I'm not calling them sad, or gross. I agree that it's probably not the place here on MN, but that's beside the point.

I agree that it should be harder to post, I agree that it's a shame that men are encroaching on women's spaces and making some women feel scared to post.

CrotchetyCrocheting · 14/04/2023 22:06

Mermaidparades · 14/04/2023 20:56

Thats me put back in my box, huh? How dare I be a woman and sexual?!

I don't understand this argument tbh? Do you think that the rest of us that don't post frantically looking for sex chat or posting threads with links to sex chat or posting about fisting all on a parenting site are not sexual? This isn't about whether or not people are 'sexual', surely you know that there are appropriate places to be sexual for instance in real life would you be 'sexual' at a mother and baby group?

This is why I think mumsnet are to blame for this, they led people like @mermaidparades to believe that mumsnet is a place to be sexual. To post inappropriate links, to seek sex chat with strangers. @HornyBee believes the same, you can tell she only thinks the reason the thread was taken down was because people complained, not because being sexual on mumsnet is inappropriate. There is a huge difference in my eyes between asking for advice about sex on mumsnet and being 'sexual' as mermaid put it on mumsnet. You can see this on many threads there, people being sexual, the corny, badly written erotica for example. I think mumsnet needs to decide if these posters are correct, mumsnet is an appropriate place to be sexual or if mumsnet is here to ask for advice on sex and moderate accordingly.

Maybebe · 14/04/2023 22:06

@LangClegsInSpace by the way, I like how you've made it my fault that the pervy men are here ;) - because of "sex positive" women like me. Thanks sister 👊🏻

LangClegsInSpace · 14/04/2023 22:33

Maybebe · 14/04/2023 22:05

@LangClegsInSpace I didn't say I was up for a sexy chat. Nor did I say that I supported the "sex chat" thread.

I am however saying that not everyone who posts on the sex board is a man or a perv. I am also not judging the women who do want a "sexy chat" - I'm not calling them sad, or gross. I agree that it's probably not the place here on MN, but that's beside the point.

I agree that it should be harder to post, I agree that it's a shame that men are encroaching on women's spaces and making some women feel scared to post.

Earlier on the thread you repeatedly suggested that if we don't like it we should just not look.

So I find it difficult to know what to make of your posts.

Mermaidparades · 14/04/2023 22:36

@CrotchetyCrocheting I feel it’s fair to discuss sexual matters on the Sex Board, yes. That’s its purpose. Mumsnet is not a mother and baby group.

Maybebe · 14/04/2023 22:47

I'm defending the existence of the sex topic @LangClegsInSpace

It's not perfect, there are men, I'm sure kids could post if they really wanted to, people can post dodgy links but that's an inherent problem of the internet isn't it? The users can and do report things, MNHQ can and do take threads down. Maybe MN could do more - and valid points have been made here.

It's a worthwhile discussion - what I object to is people calling posters on the sex board weird, gross, sad etc and implying that there shouldn't be a place for a sex topic on MN

SomethingInTheOrange · 14/04/2023 22:49

Mermaidparades · 14/04/2023 22:36

@CrotchetyCrocheting I feel it’s fair to discuss sexual matters on the Sex Board, yes. That’s its purpose. Mumsnet is not a mother and baby group.

Men discussing getting excited by watching someone have sex with an uncooked chicken? I don’t feel that’s a sexual matter than needs discussing on mumsnet, along with many others.

The oversharing for thrills and obviously made up threads swamp the threads that seem genuine.

CrotchetyCrocheting · 14/04/2023 22:59

Mermaidparades · 14/04/2023 22:36

@CrotchetyCrocheting I feel it’s fair to discuss sexual matters on the Sex Board, yes. That’s its purpose. Mumsnet is not a mother and baby group.

That's not what I was saying @mermaidparades. I was talling about being sexual as you put it vs discussing sexual matters. There is a difference between them. I understand that boundaries may be blurred for you as you demonstrated by posting that link but most people know the difference between being sexual and asking/answering a sex related query.

Like I said in my previous post you have made it quite clear that for whatever reasons mumsnet is a place that you like to be sexual. That is why I said that mumsnet should decide if they think this is an appropriate place for posters like you to 'be sexual' or is it a place for people to ask/answer sex related queries and settle this once and for all.

I'm not against people being sexual online, I have been a member of a sex related forum for probably about 15 years at this stage. The difference is everybody knows what they are getting there, you sign up and agree to very specific rules. I wouldn't post looking for breastfeeding advice or a parking related thread on the sex forum just like I wouldn't be sexual on mumsnet. There is a time and a place for everything imo, clearly your opinion on the appropriate place differs from mine.

Mermaidparades · 14/04/2023 23:21

@CrotchetyCrocheting well yes, I think Mumsnet have spoken already re: the Sex Board. Every post they leave intact confirms MN support. People keep saying that MN needs to decide, but they’ve already decided. So please don’t direct thinly veiled scorn at me.