Moderation Sex Board

[onirgellep]

Back in February Justine* committed to an urgent review of moderation of the Sex Board subsequent to the considerable concerns mainly arising from the longstanding Sex Chat thread

Unsurprisingly, issues continue

Would it be possible to have an update on the progress of the review?

And hear when do you anticipate it being completed and the new moderation put into action?

Thank you

I'm afraid I'm unable to link Justine's post on the thread References to Underage Sex on the Sex Board* page 13

Well, I'm certainly not going to rise to that. Nice try though.

But thanks Pip. A little late but nonetheless very welcome.

Absolutely this. It was intimidating and made me feel very anxious and I couldn't clearly articulate or understand why.

@horridjobescapee I’m sorry that a glib, throwaway joke from every made you feel anxious. He would never do that on purpose, ever. He is not an intimidating woman hater.

@Mermaidparades no harm to you but you don't know inside anyone else's head.

I know how I found it, and others felt similar. And we are allowed to name our feelings without being told we are basically wrong to feel as we do because he didn't mean it.

@horridjobescapee I appreciate you are upset, but if you reread my last comment to you I didn’t dismiss your feelings. Your feelings are yours, no one else could possibly understand. But I know for certain Every would not have intended to frighten or intimidate you.

@Mermaidparades you cannot possibly know that. The only person who can is the poster who made the comment.

@MidnightWordle i am literally the last person who would ever victim blame. I was trying to allay fears.

I don’t know you. I don’t know that man.

You only succeeded in minimising the issue and coming across as if you were pointing the finger at others as being the problem for not getting the jokes and bantz. As if we need to just ‘lighten up’ and enjoy a random man asking for sexual content from us. This is something that women deal with from puberty, the pressure to take pervy shit as banter. No thank you. Those defending it are part of the problem.

I think you'll find that any real sleaze would have no need to ask a woman on Mumsnet for porn site recommendations. And I don't believe that anyone could have really imagined that was a serious reques. I can see that's it's useful now to try and make a link between that event and Pip's recent intervention about bullying but those of us who've been following the discussions on this thread and the others that have preceded it will be only too aware of what and who she was referring to. So, is indeed to be hoped that the long-running vendettas against certain individuals on here will now cease.

This back and forth from both sides is only going to result in the thread being deleted.

Please don't twist PipMumsnet's request and allow this thread to continue with some respect else itll be deleted like all the others

I am hoping that this thread stays up till tomorrow so that MNHQ can have a look at all the posts.

It bothered lots of people, the replies show that. It was inappropriate. You should understand that a comment like that can come across as perverted.

There are unfortunately ‘real sleazes’ on mumsnet who have asked women for all sorts of things.

That would be a shame.

But I will not stand by and allow posters to minimise others feelings. None of us should have to be asked for a link to sexual content and then be pressured into taking that as a joke.

If mumsnet make the wrong decision, that’s on them.

I agree with your comments.

Men pass off perverted comments as jokes all the time. Others cover for them all the time. Online and in real life.

Thank you @PipMumsnet

This thread has seemed to be teetering on the edge of being deleted for days

I find it difficult to believe that it will survive long enough for @JoMumsnet to finish her response which she promised yesterday which would be a shame as there are some really good posts amongst all the nonsense

With that in mind would it be possible to either

-close the thread or

-archive a copy for JO before deleting

Hope that you will be able to help - realise you are very busy this weekend
Thanks

And yet @everywhichway comment from yesterday is still there... and plenty have been deleted since...
A comment that was not directed at any of you commenting here now unless you've named changed, so I fail to see how it's bullying!

Isn't that the point of a discussion? 😁

Could MN have something that is in place which, makes people log on after they've looked at a certain number of posts? (Could it be just triggered by people looking at posts in the sex topic maybe?)

Many fora have boards that cannot be seen unless you're logged in.

That would seem like a sensible step to me

This must be relatively easy to set up then?

I guess it depends on the forum template, on the one I use it's literally an admin tick box but MN is different and I suspect a much older format.

I’ve just read through all the argument regarding this. Do you think it’s ok to ask posters to find sexual content for you or others?

I wouldn’t do it as I would understand it could cause distress. I also wouldn’t joke about it as I understand it may not be interpreted that way. I also wouldn’t tell others they were wrong for how they interpret something like that. I also wouldn’t vouch for anyone else on here. I also wouldn’t expect others to believe me if I said I could vouch for someone on here. We do have to be careful around the subject of sex.

There’s a lot of naivety here. People do not seem to understand how to conduct themselves appropriately online. Maybe they don’t care how they come across but I think decent humans do care.

I thought the request for sexual content was inappropriate. On another thread I would have reported it. I think on a thread like this, it’s important that it stands. Maybe it hasn’t been reported and the poster given the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes they get it right, sometimes not. We see that on here all the time. Maybe it has been reported, but mumsnet has interpreted it differently to how many posters here have. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t offensive or unacceptable to a lot of people. Try asking a random person IRL to provide you with sexual content and see what happens. In my workplace a few years ago, a man did just that. He disguised it as a joke. His friends defended him. He was sacked following a thorough investigation.

I look forward to hearing mumsnets thoughts on moderation going forward. There’s lots to think about on this thread. They can’t always get it right, but it has to be improved to try to prevent the issues of the last few months.

It needs to be before they’ve looked at any sex topic posts. Making an account is easy, so if unsavoury types have read anything over there, they’ll just create an account. I think they’re less likely to if they don’t get a preview.

@SomethingInTheOrange you just can’t help yourself, can you? Just because I hold a different opinion to you doesn’t mean I’m not a ‘ decent human’. Try to put across your point without the biased moral judgement.