Safeguarding on the sex chat thread on the sex board

[AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace]

There have been a number of threads about changes to the Sex Board and the standard @MNHQ response is that they're taking feedback on board and ask us to hide the topic, which doesn't answer people's questions. I'd really appreciate some answers specifically about the sex chat thread on the sex board.

The user registration requirement to post on Sex has changed from 3 months to 7 days. It was in place to discourage trolls and predators on the Sex board so it would be helpful to know why that's no longer a concern and 7 days is deemed sufficient.

The sex chat thread exists for users to connect via PM for explicit chat and the thread advises posters they can then move that conversation to platforms like Kik and Telegram. At the moment, MN's advice is to report dodgy PMs; once users move off site this of course no longer applies.

Defence of the sex chat thread seems to be 'it's fine between consenting adults'. MNHQ, please could you tell us what measures you take to ensure participants there are adults? Currently, there is no safety warning and no age verification. How do you intend to keep any underage users from accessing this thread? How can anyone on there know that posters are over 18? You have removed the previously existing safeguards; why is this and will you put any more in place?

There is a risk users might feel safer and more inclined to trust a sex chat hosted by a site like MN; it does feel odd that you haven't made any attempt to counter this by pinning a post reminding users that MN can't vouch for anyone on there, particularly now the three month registration period is gone. Do you intend to do this?

Finally, the thread contains a number of married men who 'aren't getting any at home' and are seeking 'any available female' (direct quotes). Can you confirm this is in the spirit of MN and that you're happy to let it stand?

Thanks, and please don't advise us to hide the sex board again, or even just the sex chat thread, we get that's the MN party line but would really like an answer to the actual questions.

Yes @Mindthegapagain778 its for parents. Why does a parenting website need a sex hook up thread ? There’s so many places for that if it’s what you want. There was a reason MN had the 90 day registration period before you could use the the sex board. Why the change ?

@lilymumsnet or anyone else that happens to know...

How do I hide topics on the android app?

You have to log in on the website.

Click blue head>settings>more settings

Hide topics is at the very bottom of the page

Thanks. Although I will sulk. I like to use the app despite it being utterly shit because I am an obstinate sod. I'll just wait another 10 years for an update maybe.

Yeah the website is very glitchy on my phone but after realising the app was a bit half baked I've stuck with it

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4749810-references-to-underage-sex-on-sex-board?latest=1

Sorry i am very liberal and believe we are all adults and we don't have to visit a certain board if we don't like it etc
BUT having been on there AND having received unsolicited PMs from men after posting on there I can only conclude the men who frequent there are grubby seedy little sex offenders waiting to happen . It needs taking down

What annoys me most are the frequent posts saying "why don't you want sex discussed because that's how babies are made"

A weird world when you get deleted for using terms like AGP and delusion but at the same time Mumsnet is encouraging sex chat, affairs and reducing safeguards. Odd values.

The thing is it's beyond the realms of what you'd discuss with total strangers it's basically porn stories for hairy handed perverts to get off on - the where does you other half cum thread for example- detailed descriptions of liking to watch it drip out etc...it's not helping anyone with any sex questions or problems it's just pure porn talk and I've no idea why people need to do it on a parenting website?

It won't happen anymore because they've added a new warning to the top of the topic

🙄🙄🙄

Because we all know that men who send unsolicited sleazy messages won't do it if they're told not to.

Definitely so

Exactly @Clymene can't imagine any man who wants to talk about spunk dripping out his partners ass to strangers being gross enough to pm someone

To answer the responses below, personally I think calling it the ‘women’s sexual health and well-being’ topic would serve two purposes:

• it would change the focus of the topic to being about knowledge and empowerment
• and it would make dodgy male posters more reluctant to post and send seedy pms to pps

I don’t have a problem having women in the title as it doesn’t stop respectful men posting, but it changes the focus of the topic, and there are so few forums now where women’s needs are fully prioritised.

Yes Mumsnet is a site for parents but it is called Mumsnet not Dadsnet and so many of the topics are female focused, such as the topics relating to maternity for example, why can’t women reclaim the sex topic for themselves?

Maybe ask the women who post there?

This change of name and focus would be a more interesting experiment that MNHQ's one for this week.
(I still don't think it would need to be on the 'active' lists though.)

Thanks for comparing the needs of black mumsnetters to the perves currently making themselves at home on the sex topic.

My point being that when the pearl clutchers on here don't want something they use a bullshit excuse to try and get it banned. Has nothing to do with that board I was just using it as an example of the newest created one that people objected to but you know that and are just looking for an arguement.

No. What you were very clumsily trying to do was to imply that objecting to a board full of creepy men talking about sex and trying to cheat on their wives is the same thing as being racist. No one is going to fall for that bollocks.

Er no I wasn't. If the fucking litter tray was the latest board created I would have used that as an example. Wow you reach further than then people on the rimming chat. Don't bring race into it muppet.

So you don't think any of the safeguarding concerns are real or valid? The thread started yesterday trawling for stories of underage sex is something none of us should be worried about? Yes, it was deleted, but it stood overnight complete with stories of sexual abuse from both survivors and perpetrators (the latter in explicit detail). You really consider objections to that to be pearl clutching and an excuse to get the board hidden?

If you bother to read the threads, people aren't asking to ban the sex board. They're asking for it to be kept out of Active with the requirement to have been a member for 90 days reinstated. These are safeguards that MN introduced and have got rid of for no reason that they can explain.

If MN want to host sex chat, why shouldn't they implement safeguards used by other existing sex sites? Why is asking them to do so 'pearl clutching'?

Find another strawman to defend perve central.

Makes no difference of you think it is pervy or not. It should be in active just like all the other boards. Hide if you don't like it. I hate the cat and dog ones and some of the topics on there can lead to bad ownership and therefore safeguarding but I hide them and don't see them, simple

I note your failure to address the actual point - appropriating BMN as a strawman to defend perve central.

Not all the other boards are in active though. Some aren't, for various reasons eg. SEN.