Why is Sex topic now in Active?

[clarrylove]

It never used to be there before. It doesn't really seem appropriate with some of the titles.

I thought the main issue we were discussing was the active thing? I'm sure when I mentioned allowing consenting adults to chat as they wish within TGs I had 'it's the ACTIVE thing that is the problem' bellowed at me. Cba to trawl back I may have misremembered..

' I just want it out of my face'

It isn't in your face, not as if it's in the middle of aibu or something you do need to actually click on it. That includes clicking on active too (though it doesn't seem to be there at the mo and if it is <sighs> hide it).

Keep up @Janiie! And read the thread properly so you understand what we're talking about.

I've looked in active on the app and can't see anything currently, so that's an improvement.

I'd like to see some comment from Mumsnet in response to all this.

I'd like to see the restrictions on how soon you can post in the Sex topic increased again.

I'd like to hear an explanation of how the long-running blatant hook-up thread is "in the spirit of Mumsnet".

Yes I agree @AnonymousHippopotamus. Given that this is a thread in Site Stuff you'd think MNHQ might come and give us an update.

@Janiie it's the attitudes and expectations of the men I'm questioning. The men who are so prolific on the Sex topic in ways they aren't in any other topic here.

'And read the thread properly so you understand what we're talking about.'

Please don't patronise me I know exactly what we're talking about thanks.

It doesn't seem to be in active now, that was what was predominantly the main complaint. The kids telly ads have gone, that was another complaint. The sex chat is there but if it's consenting adults posting withing TGs I would, with respect, suggest you myob.

I'm an app user and I still don't think we've had an answer to whether you can hide topics. I can't find how to do it anyway.

The wider issue is how this whole situation is affecting the tone of Mumsnet, whether the topic is hidden or not. I like to keep up with what the hot topic of the moment is, and here we are at nearly 900 posts.

I believe you have to access the main site to hide topics. I think it's been mentioned a few times.

@AnonymousHippopotamus I'm not sure that many men join MN for the sex board (though I agree increasing the posting delay would help ensure that).
I can't speak for anyone but myself but I read extensively and occasionally post all over MN including the sex board.
I certainly never joined years ago for the sex board.
I do like that women and men can ask for advice, talk openly, honestly and above all respectfully about sex without judgement there which is rare in these times.
I do fit your stereotype of middle aged but I imagine that's a very common demographic of all long standing members here who first joined with parenting concerns.

My main issue has always been the sex chat thread. I'd like an explanation as to why MNHQ think it's in the spirit of the site . Especially as you only have to be registered for 7 days and it seems to be attracting sleazy blokes who are only using the sex board for hook ups and sex chats.

Is posting just to receive sexy PMs from the ladies within TG though? It never used to be. I'd like to know when those TG changed.

That's understandable though I also think it's also true that it's the one board on MN where women often specifically ask men for their opinion.
There's threads there with virtually no input from men because the topic specifically relates to female experience.
I'm far more likely to answer a thread in any part of MN that is directed at me whether as a man or anything else that directly relates to my experience.

There are two sex topic threads in active now.

Ah well, was just a theory as it wasn't showing in active earlier.

Hide it?

Even if MN back track on showing Sex chat in active and reinstate the posting restrictions, I think for some users, the damage is done. The lack of transparency and engagement from MN over the past week is a massive issue, and one that many users will not overlook.

@Surplus2requirements I don't know you. You appear to be genuine from your posts, but who knows?

Many women struggle to trust men, for good reason. The man who groomed me when I was a teenager used to like to chat about his own knowledge and experiences of sex to try and get me 'interested'.

The man who was a good friend of my then-partner who tried to get me to sleep with him would try to empathise with me and demonstrate that he was a great guy who understood me in a way my partner did not.

The early days of using internet chat forums where, as soon as you admitted to being female, you would get DMs from men wanting to wank while you chat to them, on a not-remotely sex-related forum.

Just some examples from my own experiences, but I'm afraid I make assumptions about anyone male wanting to talk online in an anonymous sex forum.

My question about this is that there is no attempt to ensure the sex chat is actually consenting adults - there's not even the cursory nod to safeguarding by having an over 18s only warning on it. Surely there should be a pop up where you click to say you're over 18 before opening that thread, if not the whole board?

I think that's another very valid point and should apply for the whole of MN.

The most explicit posts I've seen recently were on a thread in AIBU but is an 'I am over 18' pop up really any protection? Literally anyone can say yes with no consequences.

That’s a very good point @AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace .
What if they are chatting with under age boys and girls? Potentially that would be VERY bad.

Underage might do that for kicks but if they get caught… ?

There is also an aspect that the general understanding of ‘the spirit of MN’ simply does not include hook up type sex chat. People genuinely did not think that was something that MN was supporting - even within the sex boards. And they aren’t comfortable with that being something that is ok anywhere on MN, whether it’s consenting adults or not.

People who aren’t happy with that kind of activity being included within ‘the spirit of MN’ are not prudes who want to control what consenting adults do. It’s likely that quite a lot of MNers simply don’t want to be users of something including a sex hook up service, whether that’s in active or not. And they thought that MNHQ’s moderation policy was such that that sort of thing wasn’t allowed.

I can only talk about my experience and don't seek to minimalise yours in any way.

I do think there should be an absolute zero tolerance policy on unsolicited sexual DMs and to be fair to MN mods they do see to be on the case for all their other strange decisions.

No, it shouldn't apply to the whole site; please don't minimise how very different the sex chat thread is.

Anyone can click yes, but at least they've been warned. I think for a thread that invites people to contact one another off site for explicit conversation, more robust age verification should be in place but that they don't even bother with a bare minimum warning is pretty poor.

@AutumnLeavesFallingIntoPlace I do appreciate the sex board has a generally different tone and in particular the sex chat thread (if allowed to continue) should have extra controls in place.

I don't consider DMs off site though, they are reportable and moderated.

The most explicit posts I've seen on MN were not on the sex board though they aren't the norm.

The more common use of explicit words in titles on the sex board is an issue but one that would be minimalised if only MN would hide it from active.