Why is Sex topic now in Active?

[clarrylove]

It never used to be there before. It doesn't really seem appropriate with some of the titles.

I'm certainly open to being shown the bigger picture but as I've said I've never really engaged on the sex board and dont have a clique of friends there, or anywhere else really very much but I do read a lot.

The last few days have been different because I have been ill and have had the time to see an issue unfolding in multiple parts of the forum, something that's impossible dipping in like I usually do on such a busy forum.

The sex forum has been here for 8 years and I'd never seen a problem raised about it before though I'm sure there has been isolated cases that I would hope were swiftly dealt with.

I honestly think the problems and concerns that have been raised are not the result of any of the sex topic regular posters but of a change in MNHQ policy.

I fully support the policies to be reversed so the concerns don't have a chance to become real.

@CousinKrispy my heart broke for you a little bit for your post. For what the sex board SHOULD be, but never will.
Men have taken that space now, haven't they.

Even if mnhq comes back and gives (what I would class as) the best response to this...
Even if they say
"We fucked up, we're sorry, we'll put it back to how it was"
Which I think they may do given the outcry
Then most people will be happy. And I include me in that

Most of us could go on mining, the sex board people could go back to their sexboarding.
And the really sad thing is that people like you who could have hoped that a sex board could have helped or supported on a site such as this will just have to grin and bear it, as women always have.
But the oh-so-sensentative men, who enjoy helping women satisfy their partners is blow-by-blow detail won't notice.
Because we're invisible.
Again.

But they're feeling safe getting their rocks off, so that's all good

Mining = mning

But the oh-so-sensentative men, who enjoy helping women satisfy their partners is blow-by-blow detail won't notice.

I’m just sickened that we have men who join a mainly women’s site solely/mainly for the sex topic. I don’t think nice men do that.

And reading a lot of the posts over there, they’re not decent men. The language used by so many of them is so telling. I read a few, what I thought were pervy posts, out to my partner and he agreed they were pervs and much of it read like very shit erotica. He couldn’t believe other posters thought it was real and responded like it was.

The other thing he said about the topic now being in active, is that men who get off on making women uncomfortable, will post more.

If the men posting on this thread really are decent, I think they round see what my partner does. Good men see the issues.

I think they WOULD see what my partner does.

@CousinKrispy yes that's what exactly the community here should offer! It's really sad that it couldn't be like that.

But inevitably it just made the creeps of the internet flock there. (Amidst, of course, the endless sensitive, charming, humorous, caring men who post almost exclusively there all the time in as much graphic detail as possible, out of nothing but benevolence and kindness for women.)

... and it makes me wonder why, of all the places on the internet men could go for sexual thrills and encounters, they choose Mumsnet.

I thought your post was brilliant, albeit too sad, @CousinKrispy, and I hope it makes@MNHQ think just a little bit harder about the issues they have created.

... and it makes me wonder why, of all the places on the internet men could go for sexual thrills and encounters, they choose Mumsnet

I wonder that too. It’s not as if there aren’t hundreds of sites on the internet designed just for that. Perhaps they’ve had no takers on any of those. So trying a predominantly female parenting site.

@BIWI @Sparklingbrook Yes you are both right. The odds are much better here and its free.
There is at least one poster who I know had barely any responses on fab and now posts in the Sex threads. He used to post on another long standing thread but the regulars there asked him not to post any more.
I genuinely felt sick to my stomach to see there was a free sex chat thread where he and others are now posting.
The odds there are so much better for him and others than on sites like fab. It's genuinely revolting and I can't believe Mumsnet are allowing it.

I suppose it’s the perfect undercover hook up. Tell your wife you’re just looking on MN for weaning tips. 🤷‍♀️

I'm just here to say I also would like the sex topic out of active again please, for all the reasons stated above.
There's nothing much to add from me. I'm not as articulate as many other posters but there's nothing I haven't agreed with. It was fine before, if it ain't broke why fix it?

I'm finding it very annoying that MN are reading this thread and deleting comments, but have not responded to any of the questions or requests that have been made.

Aye. People are going to get caught though aren't they? There are plenty of stories ok the sex chat of frequent ghosting. Of course this will happen. (They say much like real life - I say more so for obvious reasons) folk will change their minds, get spooked and worry about being caught, or actually get just one too many pushy mesaages) There is even a cautionary tale on there from a woman who lost her marriage, home and job as a result of online infidelity.

It's weird, because as a collective free sex chat here it doesn't sit well with me, yet MN are allowing so far. Now, if a specific poster started an individual thread saying they were married and would anyone like to hook up I reckon it would be pulled. That's why I'm surprised the group chat is allowed. As I said in a PP, there are 12 men on there who admit to being married (info supplied by a poster on the thread)

I guess it's because mods can delete posts but only HQ can change site settings

How does that prevent answering questions?

Now, if a specific poster started an individual thread saying they were married and would anyone like to hook up I reckon it would be pulled

Yes and yet a whole thread is fine. 🤔 The first thread got deleted (but mysteriously nobody knows why) and a male poster over there decided they needed a new. I don’t know what MNHQ are thinking TBH.
Maybe they’ll start their own hook up site and they’re testing the water. ‘By cheaters for cheaters’.

I don't know but I mod a vehicle forum and get told sod all by admin.

I guess I didn't ask you to explain it on behalf on MN, but simply expressed my annoyance.

Thanks for the unsolicited mansplain, though.

They’re always ‘helping’, aren’t they.

It is very annoying I just don't think those reading and moderating are to blame for the silence

And reading a lot of the posts over there, they’re not decent men. The language used by so many of them is so telling. I read a few, what I thought were pervy posts, out to my partner and he agreed they were pervs and much of it read like very shit erotica. He couldn’t believe other posters thought it was real and responded like it was.

This to me is the biggest tell that it isn't just lovely men giving advice. That and the sex chat thread on that board are why I find it difficult to believe that anyone would find it an appropriate place to ask for advice about their child and fetishism like a previous poster did and got deleted for. It clearly isn't just helpful men flocking to share their support, it is men looking to talk about sex to turn themselves on and asking about a child there is not the place.

I'm not going back to find that posters name but I'm sure you are still reading. Using a board like teenagers to talk about your child would have been more appropriate as it isn't 75%+ populated by men using threads for sexual stimulation, there is no badly written erotica and there are no hook up threads. I'm sure you can understand how jarring it is to see someone talking about a child amongst all of that.

I suspect that the moderators can only delete posts but can't comment on or make any changes to the site itself, till the working week starts, and 'management' are back in the office.

This whole thing has obviously been a strategic and commercial decision, in the pursuit of profit, so only those in charge of those decisions can revert/change them.

I suspect that the mod team are currently very frustrated.

There has been some strange deletion decisions lately. I think everyone could do with some clarity. Like why the 90 days is now 7 and why the Sex Topic got unhidden for everyone without any warning.

I suspect the real decision makers are on holiday.

I suspect the real decision makers are the advertisers.