Why is Sex topic now in Active?

[clarrylove]

It never used to be there before. It doesn't really seem appropriate with some of the titles.

Also, someone on the sex chat thread did some stats on the Male / Female ratios.

1 woman admitted to being there as they were in a sexless marriage. 12 blokes admitted the same.

So 1002% more men there for sex chat than women admitting they are married.

As a lot of us have already said, the cheating aspect doesn't sit well.

I strongly believe the Sex board shouldn’t appear in Active, as I already said, but I don’t agree with trolling/spamming it either. TBF it’s not the regular users’ fault their threads are popping up between “is my MIL BU?” and “menu planning advice for a fussy 6yo?”, it’s a MNHQ decision.

She should give a shit, though, because this is the sort of thing that sinks sites like these. At least on reddit you can curate your feed so while there's loads of dodgy content, your page can be completely wholesome. If mums are having to scroll past ANAL SEX and FLESHLIGHT to get to their topics, how long before it just all seems too grim to bother with?

(Great username btw, Barold always makes me laugh :)

I guess the problem here is that MN have made promises that this board will be in this position for their advertiser that's paying for it.

They will - hopefully - have to renegotiate the terms.

The "wholesome" spam posts are just making it worse IMO. It's in my Active only because of the twee recipe post, so what's the point? Why aggravate genuine users of that board and people who don't want to see that stuff?

Threads for people to link up for sexchat isn’t coherent with the mumsnet brand either. It just looks grubby.

There is also nothing stopping Sex board regulars from asking HQ to remove the topic from active.
Any thread appearing in active is going to attract more attention - that is what active is for - to promote the busy threads and attract more traffic.

But lets face it some of the perves who come to MN just for that topic will be getting off on the knowledge that their threads on BDSM, anal and bloody fleshlights are appearing to the silly women amongst threads on Coronation street and support after domestic violence. All on this "supportive" women centred site.

Its a fundamental tenet of most kinks that consent is critical. It shouldn't be a requirement on the unwitting recipient to say "no", its the responsibility of the actor to check consent, especially when the app doesn't even make it possible to hide the topic.

I'm beginning to think the reason MNHQ haven't answered this question, despite numerous posters asking, is because it's not actually possible to do it.

If this is the case that's a huge oversight as hiding topics should be a standard feature across all versions of MN.

Will it be another day of vague, holding messages from MNHQ? I honestly think Justine must be looking to sell up and all and any traffic through the site is good for that.

Mnhq have said they'll look into it. Surely that should suffice?
Not really. They have a long history of saying that and not looking into it.

Even tho MNHQ have said they'll look into it, I do think it's fair to keep discussing it on this thread if people want to, so different perspectives can be considered.

My main take on this at the moment is that I don't like it when MNHQ act all disingenuous about their reasoning for controversial decisions. They're in charge so should just own it 🤷🏻‍♀️

fuck it, why not everyone and I mean everyone report every singles sex thread that appears in active. give them a bit of headache instead of posting on the those threads which keep them in active.

Well at least give it a week then see if anything changes. There just seems so much pitch fork waving whipped up with folk trolling the sex boards, it's just all a bit unnecessary.

TW are put on so many ops I'm really not sure if 'fleshlight' for example needs one tbh. Of course others have different opinions but the trolling really does make people look silly.

I sometime browse mumsnet on my lunch break at work.

I certainly won't be doing that now threads titled "HELP WITH ANAL" are so visible in my active feed.

Well at least give it a week then see if anything changes.

I know it's not the original post on the thread but how long should posters wait for an update on hiding the thread on the app, a week, 2 weeks, longer?

The first post asking was on the 15th. Then @HopeMumsnet posted - Let us get back to you re the app early on the 16th. Surely it's either possible or not?

I'm sitting in the living room. She's entitled to be hanging around behind me on the sofa without glancing over my shoulder and seeing inappropriate content. Boundaries would be me choosing not to view that kind of stuff while with my children.

You seem to entirely miss the point of actual boundaries.

'I know it's not the original post on the thread but how long should posters wait for an update on hiding the thread on the app, a week, 2 weeks, longer?'

Well, as I said a week or so? It's been 3 days. I presume it needs to discussed with senior mods then tech staff. In the meantime just hide it and obviously if anyone has nosey 11yr olds without boundaries or nosey colleagues that is a separate thing that could also be addressed.

Well, as I said a week or so? It's been 3 days. I presume it needs to discussed with senior mods then tech staff.

Why would it need discussing? It's either possible to hide topics on the app, and if so MNHQ share how you do this, or it isn't possible to hide them and MNHQ reply saying this.

It's not possible from the app apparently but you can by logging in via the website, click on the blue head>settings>more settings. Then it will be hidden while using the app.

(from an earlier HQ post)

'Why would it need discussing? It's either possible to hide topics on the app, and if so MNHQ share how you do this, or it isn't possible to hide them and MNHQ reply saying this'

Go back to the first pages there's are lots of instructions on how to hide it. My point was to remove from active I presume isn't something a mod can do without consultation with others, obviously.

I was going to say this. Anyone with any experience of children knows it doesn't work like that.

There are plenty of websites I wouldn't open with my kids in the room. But mumsnet hasn't previously been in this category. It is now.

I don't really mind if people who need instructions on how to stick their dick in a plastic tube think I look silly tbh

Your last paragraph is pretty much quoting my earlier post on this thread back to me so yes, I agree.

Absolutely agree. There was definitely a need for that community and it certainly is not just "pervy seedy blokes", plenty of women and their allies had good, meaningful discussions and gained advice there which they may not feel comfortable doing elsewhere. Sex is a natural part of adult life and relationships and what's going on currently with Mumsnetters actually attacking posters on those threads, making them feel dirty and shameful will have repercussions beyond just some forum. Many of the members on there post in that group specifically because they've had issues with being shamed in real life so this is a safe space in which to post, among many other regular posters. @lilymumsnet @hopemumsnet please do pass back up your FoodChain that I for one am disgusted to have seen Mumsnet create a Safe Space, only to basically unleash its members to attack and shame. I think this needs serious and immediate consideration, regardless of how many branded sex toys you may be trying to sell.