Official Complaint to Mumsnet

[CoconutQueen]

Totally inappropriate enormous vibrator adverts now ALL over Mumnset.

What on earth are you thinking of? Is Mumsnet really that short of cash that they have to stoop this low?

Not to mention the ridiculous woke language ie "people with wombs".

Totally inappropriate on ALL levels.

It definitely was earlier on though.

Back on active After we changed the wording....

I'd still like to know why sex was added to active without any announcement yesterday @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet and whether MN will be addressing concerns about that.

The fact it was ever signed off by your content team, if you have one, is ridiculous. Absolutely dreadful that nobody at MN thought that might be picked up by us, vile TERFS that we are.

Still, it's money in the bank eh.

"This is completely irrelevant to this discussion and I'm not at all surprised to see it here given how ridiculous many of you are.

Adam Graham is a man posing as a trans woman to try and escape his incarceration with men."

@discobrain It's not at all irrelevant given the whole point of the discussion of the language here (as well as the Shrek ears part) includes the definition of the word "woman". If the word "woman" was could only be used correctly ie adult human female, then IB and other men wouldn't even be able to pose as them! "Trans woman" as a term is also meaningless as woman cannot have a descriptive adjective (sorry I can't think of the exact word, ironically). There are no categories of women. You are one or you aren't. We are biological human females and this should not be "opened up" to give men an opportunity to exploit it. I'm glad you agree IB is a man doing exactly this, as it proves my point.

IB isn't a woman and no other man can be a woman. Language is hugely relevant which is exactly why so many women are objecting to it here. You can call us ridiculous and frothers if you like, I don't give a fuck. You and all the predictable dismissive and minimising insults won't stop us speaking out.

We periodically review boards that are excluded from Active - the Sex topic was initially excluded because of concerns it would attract trolls, though it's possible they would rock up regardless. We're monitoring the situation and reading the comments on the other thread too.

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet

Looking at it objectively can you see that the use of baby bottles as bullet points listing the benefits of a vibrator in your shared Instagram post is at best icky AF? Genuinely curious.

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet , thank you for coming back to us. I do however find your assertion of “FYI this thread isn’t excluded from Active” thoroughly disingenuous. It might not be now but I had plenty of time whilst waiting for my car to be MOT’d earlier to ascertain that it was very much no longer on Active, even immediately after I posted, which was then confirmed by many others. I don’t think anyone takes kindly to being gaslit.

The timing of allowing the sex topic in active is obvious and shows a lack of care to women, the ones who make your forum a success. You should be ashamed.

And the sex topic is full of pervy men, you know that. You should address that.

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet thank you for having the (I want to say balls, but in light of everything else on the thread it feels glib) to come back on and at least try and address some of this.

However, MN has to take on board that 'reviewing' the sex board suddenly being in active and suddenly visible even to people who had the topic hidden has potentially caused sincere distress to some. For all the falling over yourselves to be inclusive, MN felt it worth the risk even though they were warned yesterday in site stuff.

It's clear that it was to make sure Shrek's ear got in front of as many users as possible on launch day.

It's a poor show, and I'm very much couching my language there.

Honestly do MN think we’re thick or something - that we wouldnt notice this shit, or the sex topic being switched back onto active, it being unhidden from everyone who had previously hidden it so they’d see shrek’s ear being advertised?

but they’re sorry so it’s ok

The mention of cats etc. also being "womb owners" thus qualifying for one of these apparently taboo-busting vibrators really highlights the ridiculousness of such language use. These vibrators are for WOMEN.

Humans are animals, mammals, primates... nothing more. Literally any other animal we will regard as male or female if it has the characteristics of that sex. Udders = cow, not bull; mane = lion, not lioness. Why are humans these special creatures who choose? Utter madness.

It definitely was before. Or are you denying that?

I was surprised to suddenly see so many discussions about what kind of sex people like.

Is MNHQ trying to persuade potential new advertisers we are all desperately trying sex toys & new positions and are MILFs?

I was less than thrilled to see a thread about rimming appear in my active threads.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/site_stuff/4733509-have-some-peoples-hidden-topics-become-unhidden?page=2&reply=123591471

No announcement or explanation until it was mentioned here.

Hear hear !!!!!!!!

@PlaitBilledDuckyPuss I feel the same. I know that people get up to all sorts of things in bed (probably all over the place) but I really don’t want to read about them.

@monsteramunch we've passed all feedback on to the company.
Thanks, @YesitsBess (you could say ovaries instead of balls I guess! Or vagina - which, all told are much tougher than balls.) All comments are noted and we're having a discussion about this at MNHQ. We know it can seem that we're not listening on fast moving threads like this but we do read every single post and appreciate the input, even if we can't acknowledge everyone.
@LetTheLiquorTalk I'm not aware of this but I will investigate. It definitely wasn't excluded when I checked earlier. Definitely not gaslighting anyone!

Also disappeared from ‘threads I’m on’. Pretty low response from Becky, all in all. Frankly I wouldn’t expect anything more. They’ve shown us what they are and how low they’ll stoop.

Appreciate that @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet but the Instagram post with the baby bottle bullet points explaining the benefits of the vibrator was a collab post, so shared on the grid of the brand and the Mumsnet grid.

So I wondered what Mumsnet's thoughts were as a company on the use of that emoji in that context, as it's on your own brand's social platform not just theirs?

I am so glad I'm on the mobile site with an ad blocker. I am a woman who has a vulva, I am offended by this ad.
I also found out recently that all the gaps in my active convos were caused by my ad blocker blocking mumsnet promos.

I’ve just blocked lots of topics, as well as the Sex topic. I might block The Royal Family when the next book comes out.

I do understand and I do agree it sounds like that

The baby milk bottle icon is incredibly icky next to phrases such as ultra gentle stimulation on the vulva for pain free exploration and an external toy to take the focus off penetration.

Slightly unrelated but adding to the ick factor: The 'sponsored by' carousel section on the MN homepage has these two articles side by side:

• Combi feeding your baby: How to make mixed feeding work for you
• Introducing The Whisperer, the sex toy designed for new mums

www.mumsnet.com

Both sponsored stories are aimed at mums of babies. It's interesting what the advertising team are going for here. It doesn't look great, 'just bottle feed your baby (after you buy all the bottle feeding products we are adverting here) and then off you go have yourself a little me time with the Whisperer, it won't wake your baby'.

On a side note, the Combi feeding your baby ad is highly questionable in regard to UNICEF's International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes. I mixed fed one of mine myself so it's not about BF versus bottle feeding. It's just interesting how bottle feeding is being given a boost on MN now, it used to have an excellent community supporting Bf women.

I'd be very surprised if @YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet and her moderating team weren't as appalled as the rest of us by all this.

As usual, they are the ones who have to deal with the (entirely predictable) outrage and general pissed-offness that this tone-deaf, illiterate, offensive, language-mangling, women-erasing nonsense has produced.