Official Complaint to Mumsnet

[CoconutQueen]

Totally inappropriate enormous vibrator adverts now ALL over Mumnset.

What on earth are you thinking of? Is Mumsnet really that short of cash that they have to stoop this low?

Not to mention the ridiculous woke language ie "people with wombs".

Totally inappropriate on ALL levels.

I agree that this is an insult to women and to mothers. The baby bottle bullet points 🤢 What the hell were you thinking Mumsnet? You are the home of an amazing space for feminists, for which I thank you, and yet still??

The only taboo around sex after childbirth that I'm aware of is men wondering (ideally not out loud) 'when can I get my dick wet again?' and this marketing campaign seems to be geared towards helping the new mummies get their heads around getting that dick wet sooner rather than later. Never mind that many women are often not interested into rushing into things, and will know when they are ready. They are also perfectly able to get their old vibrator out if they feel like it, they are not a new invention If your 'vulva' is too sensitive, you're probably going to focus on more important things, like trying to get some sleep (or in my case, survive severe PND). On the other hand, those new mothers who are raring to go and feeling horny clearly know what to do, don't they?

The marketing guff reads as if it were written by extraterrestrials whose only research into women's sexuality was talking to Stonewall interns Apart from all the other issues, it's so blatant that this product has been created solely as a potential new revenue stream, and I'm sick to the back teeth of cynical capitalist bullshit like this, especially when it's dressed up in faux-concerned woke fuckery.

This about covers it. ‘Let’s sell them a product to ease them back in.’ The mistake is advertising it on a women’s vs men’s website.

WombsofWimbledon that really made me laugh! I hope you write comedy scripts for your job- if you don’t, your powers are being wasted!

I wish I was! I would have thought this scenario was too ‘circa ‘The Office’ era’ but based on the marketing for this product apparently not! 😂😂

It’s so strange isn’t it, I mean the product itself is 🤷‍♀️but ok I suppose. But then the concept of new mothers and sex being taboo is dodgy but then the grand finale of vulva-havers etc with the cherry on top of baby bottle bullet points is just… bizarre. It’s like Mumsnet staff weren’t involved at all when they must have been? It’s almost literally what you’d do if you set out to cause outrage on here.

They could have just done a ‘here’s an entry level (ha) vibrator for women that don’t want to research any further than that and trust our brand’ but instead they decided to do, er, this.

I make a point of not really looking at any of the adverts on here. As much as possible, I scroll through threads and don’t focus on the ads on the side/in the middle.

Only two so far in recent months have kind of caught my attention. One was for Bentley, which I thought was totally tone-deaf in the current (or any) climate. The other was for this product - I didn’t really pay any attention, just glanced at the image, and thought it was maybe an air freshener.

Earlier yesterday, I caught the thread title on the first page of the Trending box. It stuck in my head, so I searched for it as was interested to see what it was about.

I haven’t clicked on the ad, after reading this I have no interest in doing so. And lots of people have already expressed, very well, what the issues are with it.

Was the term cis/cis-gender really used in it? If so, I am really pissed off.

I have spent quite a long time reading the FWR board. Seeing WOMEN policing their language and tying themselves in knots to get their point across without falling foul of guidelines and online monitors.

I would just like to remind Mumsnet that their guidelines for the FWR board, which are more stringent than elsewhere on the site, acknowledge that this term is not welcomed by WOMEN. So WTF would they think it’s acceptable to be used in an advert on a product that they’ve collaborated with - and then plaster said advert on the site?

Sorry, I know this is a small point, but it has really got my back up.

As others have said, I do feel for some of the moderators on here. Bloody thankless job when having to firefight some of the thoughtless decisions that get implemented.

Lastly, the poster who made the Volvo not womby enough comment gets a big thank you - that made me properly laugh after a fairly rubbish day.

This thread just reminded me of the scene in dinnerladies:

Dolly - "Just because I have a full sex life."
Jean - "Oh yeah? Then what's that appliance in your underskirt drawer?"

Apparently sex for mums in 2023 is a 'taboo' subject but 60 year old women in mainstream BBC sitcoms in the 90s were making jokes about it.

Marketing for men, by men, demonstrating how little they actually understand about women's bodies and needs.

The only sex aid I wanted each time in the weeks after birth was 12 hours sleep.

Exactly

Can I just clarify, it was not Mumsnet who used word 'cis' that was from the actual website of the product.

It must be a pain trying to make advertising money for a website and having to check out whether brands align with your own brand in terms of values etc. I’m not in any way knowledgable about advertising, marketing etc, but I can imagine it’s a bloody nightmare.

But for fuck sake, this one wasn’t hard was it?

’We are looking to co-create a vibrator for women. These two blokes with their cis-gender speak on their website and their use of ‘vulva owners’ in their ad copy and their creepy pitch about Mum-sex taboos might not be the best fit for us. What do you think, Justine?’

🤦‍♀️

I doubt it even got in front of Justine. If it had she would have been here like a shot to tell us off for being angry about it

I really don’t get the impression that Justine is that hands on any more. That recent interview where the FWR posters were slagged off (for believing the same as most of the public and decent politicians on matters of women’s rights, it turns out) looked very much that way.

I do think she wants to monetise the fuck out of it before cutting ties or selling it though which will make for an increasingly shit user experience (and forgets that we provide the content for free) but is her right as a business owner. However, I would elevate Justine to absolute international stateswoman goddess level and respect her forever if she would Go High and turn MN into a not for profit as her founder’s legacy and leave it as a place for women to speak freely and support and entertain each other with parenting and other aspects of life for years to come.

I’m sure Justine isn’t hands on anymore.

My point is that you would’ve thought that a site for mothers, well known for its lively FWR boards, would be the last place to pitch a gender woo vibrator with a Victorian taboo-busting trope.

Surely somebody working at MNHQ could see that?

Justine was actually "quoted" in the Mumsnet promo page wittering on about an important taboo to tackle blah blah. Not sure if my CEO (or whatever Justine's role is) would want something published in direct quotes to their name, without at least running their eye over it (though admittedly it's a somewhat smaller organisation)

But yeah, it did seem as though if you wanted to design a campaign to deliberately rile up Mumsnet users ...

Justine’s preparing for her entry into politics as insinuated in her Telegraph interview. She’s not going to risk that by taking responsibility for her own words or speaking the truth is she?😂🤣

I'm a bit disappointed nobody from MNHQ has come back to let us know if on reflection they understand that the baby bottle bullet points in their collab post on IG (so on both their grids, not just something they're tagged in) about the benefits of a vibratory is icky AF.

They said they'd pass the feedback on to the brand but MNHQ are equally responsible for that post so I was hoping to get their thoughts?

you lot are very funny

and also smart

I can’t see them, looks like they have been removed? Screenshot from grid post as it shows right now. With weird use of “Moms” 🤷‍♀️

Were the 500 mums on MN? Or was it those who had signed up to give their opinions on anything MN wanted to consult over? or...

@Catnary

Ah. Thanks for looking that up - confirms they've deleted them but not responded to people who said how inappropriate and icky it was to use baby bottles as bullet points listing the benefits of a vibrator.

It wasn't a post they were just tagged in either, it was a collab post on their grid too and means someone at their end gave it the green light so not just down to the other brand.

It's so disappointing when brands don't just say 'we shouldn't have done that, we can see it was completely inappropriate and will make sure it doesn't happen again' like all of us would hopefully do in our own jobs.

Oh 🤔
Now that they have removed the inappropriate baby bottles we're left with a rather functional bullet list 😂 that's enough to kill any thought of any quality me time. The language!! Tone deaf.

How incompetent are these people? They had one job, to market a vibrator to a new market. This happens when you are so preoccupied with woke think that you forget about quality work. As they say, go woke, go broke.

The current generation of grandmas were dancing naked at festivals in the swinging sixties and shagging seventies.

But its sweet to see each new generation thinking its invented sex and discovered gender stereotypes.

@Youwhatnowbiggles Fair point!