war topic

[Samcro]

any chance of a covid style war topic for all the "are we going to war " threads please.

My mistake

I wasn’t being shitty about it, just pointing out that trigger warning in this instance isn’t the right thing. Pax!

I've just done an unscientific survey. In Active on my phone there is currently ONE thread referencing Ukraine. It's about black students there.
There's 4 threads on telly programmes, 5 style & beauty, 1 mother-in-law, 3 relationships. The rest are mainly parenting stuff.
We're truly being swamped by "war" threads. Or possibly not. Maybe the people complaining about "all" the threads should stop looking for them.

@PAFMO

I've just done an unscientific survey. In Active on my phone there is currently ONE thread referencing Ukraine. It's about black students there. There's 4 threads on telly programmes, 5 style & beauty, 1 mother-in-law, 3 relationships. The rest are mainly parenting stuff. We're truly being swamped by "war" threads. Or possibly not. Maybe the people complaining about "all" the threads should stop looking for them.

Yep, I've just had a look two. Only 2 threads relating to the situation in Ukraine, and a random mix of others. A few relating to school appeals, one about divorce, a handful of TTC/pregnancy related threats, a couple of baby name threads, one about energy prices, one about someone who doesn't want her dh to reduce his income, one asking for gin recommendations. A pretty varied bunch, I'd say.

Too, not two!

I think some of the threads are just sensationalising the situation. For example I saw one that was about whether you would want to survive a nuclear apocalypse or not. I tried to hide the thread but a) it didn’t work and b) I’d already seen the thread heading. I’m feeling really anxious about the situation.

@Cheesecakeandwineinasuitcase

I think some of the threads are just sensationalising the situation. For example I saw one that was about whether you would want to survive a nuclear apocalypse or not. I tried to hide the thread but a) it didn’t work and b) I’d already seen the thread heading. I’m feeling really anxious about the situation.

Tbh, I put the threads about nuclear war down to being started by posters who are generally very young. They really seem to know jack about what a nuclear war would be like. Those of us who are ancient like me, and at school in the 80s had the threat of it surrounding us, lessons at school, films about sitting under your table with a saucepan on your head and TV series galore. Anyone asking about surviving a nuclear apocalypse perhaps needs to look two words up. One being nuclear, the other apocalypse. Those threads really are just idiotic. The one asking if a bomb dropped on London would she be OK in Watford for example. Sorry you're feeling anxious

So much for trying to make people's lives easier, @LilyMumsnet

I'm really surprised you've reached this decision.

Personally the sensational/wet lettuce thread titles don't bother me - I just scroll on by - but it's unsettling to say the least to read posts from those who are disturbed by them.

How is that 'in the spirit'?

It’s quite disappointing and I don’t really understand the decision TBH.
It’s not like we were asking for an expensive fix or something.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4494191-Frightening-and-dramatic-thread-titles-on-the-home-page?msgid=115526619

There are a lot of people on MN who have emotional difficulties of one sort or another, or have a terrible family situation to deal with. They rely on MN for support, guidance and reassurance in their situation. To come on here and be faced with all the war-scaremongering threads isn't going to do their mental health any good at all

Threads can be hidden, AIBU can be hidden. Pretty much everything can be hidden except the specific topics you are finding helpful.

There are also many women on this site who come for adult discussion on the serious topics.

Its largely still a self help site, its not responsible for the nation's mental health - we retain some responsibility to use the tools provided ourselves.

[quote Sparklingbrook]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4494191-Frightening-and-dramatic-thread-titles-on-the-home-page?msgid=115526619[/quote]
That was raised on this thread too. Not only to people want posts shuffled off to a separate topic, they don't want even the thread titles to be visible anywhere.

Struggling to see how that isn't censorship of an adult site which provides tools to remove content from view at the press of a button.

Well it doesn’t appear that there’ll be any perceived ‘censorship’ forthe time being anyway. 🤷‍♀️

we retain some responsibility to use the tools provided ourselves.

The biggest tool we have is to have related threads on a common board and then the whole board can be hidden. Job sorted in one go.

Asking people to hide specific threads means they still have to read the panic inducing thread titles. They are there in your face without trying.
Or you are saying that they have to hide both AIBU and Chat and miss out on the relaxing lighthearted random threads on both boards.

Yes we have to take responsibility. And one way of doing that is to ask MN to do just as it did for Brexit, Covid and Sex/Gender which is make a separate board.

I hope that if the rate of threads continues that MN reconsiders its decision.

It isn't censorship to group threads on the same topic together.

Asking people to hide specific threads means they still

Bluntly, if simply seeing a thread title causes you issues you need to take a break from social media, or at least from sites for adults.

Or you are saying that they have to hide both AIBU and Chat and miss out on the relaxing lighthearted random threads on both boards

These are miscellaneous topics. If you are severely distressed by certain topics then yes, hide them (or at least AIBU). If you want these censored to be a child friendly rating and remove all the many topics people have complained about being distressing (often on behalf of other people they assume are distressed) then it ceases to be an adult site for adult women navigating adult life.

@C8H10N4O2

There are a lot of people on MN who have emotional difficulties of one sort or another, or have a terrible family situation to deal with. They rely on MN for support, guidance and reassurance in their situation. To come on here and be faced with all the war-scaremongering threads isn't going to do their mental health any good at all

Threads can be hidden, AIBU can be hidden. Pretty much everything can be hidden except the specific topics you are finding helpful.

There are also many women on this site who come for adult discussion on the serious topics.

Its largely still a self help site, its not responsible for the nation's mental health - we retain some responsibility to use the tools provided ourselves.

Agreed. Where do we draw the line? Hiding any thread mentioning children as it may upset those unable to have any? Hiding any thread mentioning baby loss as it may upset those who are pregnant? Hiding any pregnancy threads as it may upset those who have lost a child/had a miscarriage? Hide General Health as it may upset those with health anxiety? Hide threads on holidays and handbags as it may upset those who can afford neither? Hide threads about Snickers as those with peanut allergy may be upset?

From the deadly serious to the totally frivolous, every thread will upset somebody. Who's going to decide the hierarchy of upset? And why should they?

"It's not responsible for the nation's mental health"

This, a million times.

Thank you MNHQ

I do agree that we all have a responsibility to manage our own mental health to some extent. We can't expect the world around us to hide away anything and everything that might potentially cause us distress. If you struggle with your mental health to the extent that you find certain topics triggering even if you just see the thread title, then it makes sense for you to avoid general forums in which any topic can be discussed. It is inevitable that significant world events will be reflected in such forums, and even if a separate board is created, you may still be exposed to threads that have accidentally or deliberately been put in the wrong place.

You want MNHQ to protect you by removing all reference to those triggering topics from the general forums, but you could just as easily remove yourself from the general boards in order to focus on what you want to talk about. Yes, I get you have some degree of fomo about missing out on the more lighthearted threads on AIBU or Chat, but there is nothing to stop you from starting your own lighthearted threads elsewhere. And why should the open nature of the miscellaneous boards be restricted for everyone because you don't want to do that?

If we decide to cleanse certain topics from the general forums because some people are triggered by seeing the titles, then surely there are a whole lot more topics that we would also have to ban from those general forums because other people might find them triggering. Pregnancy, for example. Climate change. Racism. Cancer. Bereavement. And so on. The miscellaneous boards will be reduced to little other than parking threads and MIL threads, and I expect someone will be along sooner or later because they find those triggering.

We have been repeatedly told by campaigners for a separate board that MN is not just about Chat and AIBU. That people can post in the topics that interest them. So why not follow your own advice?

No, because the concept of a trigger warning is not to advertise a thread subject people just aren’t interested in, it’s to signpost a thread subject which can cause trauma for people who may have suffered from that subject matter.

I don't really understand this point, war seems like exactly the sort of thing that might fall into the latter category?

The miscellaneous boards will be reduced to little other than parking threads and MIL threads, and I expect someone will be along sooner or later because they find those triggering.

I genuinely don’t understand why that is a problem when you can easily see all active posts on all forums.

I also think people posting on difficult subjects would be well advised not to post on AIBU because the tone of responses can be horrendous.

@merrymouse

I also think people posting on difficult subjects would be well advised not to post on AIBU because the tone of responses can be horrendous.

Yes, but surely that's another reason for those with fragile mental health to avoid the board entirely, I would have thought.

@merrymouse

The miscellaneous boards will be reduced to little other than parking threads and MIL threads, and I expect someone will be along sooner or later because they find those triggering.

I genuinely don’t understand why that is a problem when you can easily see all active posts on all forums.

It isn't necessarily a problem as such, but if we are going to go down that route I think it would be better to get rid of the miscellaneous boards altogether, as the list of banned topics will end up being longer than the list of permitted ones.

MNHQ could get rid of the miscellaneous boards, I suppose, and we could all just go to the topics that specifically interest us. However, that would be shooting themselves in the foot a bit as the miscellaneous boards are probably amongst the most popular on the site. I presume that people like the variety.

Ironically, that seems to be why some posters are so unwilling to hide Chat and AIBU even though they don't like some of the threads on there. They want access to those varied discussion topics, as long as they can dictate to others exactly what those topics are.

AIBU allows people to ask if they are being unreasonable about any topic. Chat allows people to chat about any topic. The popularity of those boards demonstrates that people like to use the miscellaneous boards, so presumably they like the breadth of topics covered. If certain individuals find that other posters want to discuss matters that they find uninteresting or distressing, then they can remove themselves from that area so that they don't have to see them. There are plenty of other boards where they can post for support or entertainment if they do choose.

Telling people with fragile mental health, or who might be triggered, to hide the entire Chat and AIBU boards isn't a fair or reasonable solution.

That means they miss out on all the genuine chat/fun/trivial/light hearted threads and the bonkers petty gripes ones that are a bit of light relief.

And because people will insist on posting health, education, recipes, property, relationships, parenting - whatever! - questions in chat and aibu then anyone who has the two entire boards hidden is going to miss out on benefiting from the information in those chats, or giving advice to people in need.

@A580Hojas

Telling people with fragile mental health, or who might be triggered, to hide the entire Chat and AIBU boards isn't a fair or reasonable solution.

That means they miss out on all the genuine chat/fun/trivial/light hearted threads and the bonkers petty gripes ones that are a bit of light relief.

And because people will insist on posting health, education, recipes, property, relationships, parenting - whatever! - questions in chat and aibu then anyone who has the two entire boards hidden is going to miss out on benefiting from the information in those chats, or giving advice to people in need.

But nobody is stopping them from joining fun/lighthearted/chat threads on the other boards. As people kept saying above, MN is not just about Chat and AIBU. Other boards are available.

The point is, you can't control what other people are going to put on a miscellaneous board that is open for the discussion of multiple different topics. If seeing certain types of thread title is so disturbing to you, then it is advisable to take steps to protect yourself. Even if a separate board was created, you would still get people posting in the "wrong" place anyway, so there is still a risk that you would be traumatised by things that you don't want to see.

People wouldn't write to the BBC to ask them to stop reporting on the news from Ukraine because they don't want to see that but they don't want to miss out on the other news stories that might be covered. They would just switch over to something else and get their other news from a different source.

General discussion forums that are not limited to specific topics are just that. General. They don't promise to be free from any subject that might ever cause anyone to be concerned or upset. So they will be populated by threads that reflect whatever the majority of people want to discuss. If you don't want to join those discussions, you are entirely free not to do so.