Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Site stuff

Join our Innovation Panel to try new features early and help make Mumsnet better.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Dear black people of mumsnet

999 replies

PatricksRum · 10/09/2020 17:24

Ideas for a black section on mumsnet.

Should we have separate sections i.e black hair and beauty, black parenting, black cooking or a general black section?

Link to previous

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4018383-black-section-on-mn

OP posts:
Quaagars · 13/09/2020 00:37

@PatricksRum
I briefly looked. I can't even read anymore. It's just sad I just want to pass on strength

Have flowers/cake and gin take your pick or maybe just have all three lol

Flowers Cake Gin

PatricksRum · 13/09/2020 00:37

But it seems fairly clear that MN won't ban white posters from posting so if that's a serious need then MN isn't the right host for it. The constant demands concerning identifying ethnicity might prove problematic too.

Confused

When have we asked for white posters to be banned?

Which demands? Hmm

OP posts:
PatricksRum · 13/09/2020 00:38

@wixx

I don't get it. Would it not be racist if people were told to go to the black section, not the main area. And if there was a white Section that would even worse. I thought life was about including everyone equally now, not ship off to your own secret area
Ahhhhhh if I didn't care about receiving a warning the way I would cuss you right now.

kmt

That's all I have to say

OP posts:
PatricksRum · 13/09/2020 00:39

[quote Quaagars]@PatricksRum
I briefly looked. I can't even read anymore. It's just sad I just want to pass on strength

Have flowers/cake and gin take your pick or maybe just have all three lol

Flowers Cake Gin[/quote]
If the cake is carrot cake I'll take it Wink

I've also been thinking about how this board could possible translate to "real life", are there groups on mumsnet whereby people meet up in person? I have no idea.

OP posts:
Quaagars · 13/09/2020 00:40

@wixx
Would it not be racist if people were told to go to the black section, not the main area

Who's saying that though, anywhere?
Surely it's just a place for more tailored advice instead of generic if you need it? Kind of like Scotsnet? Or Craicnet? (Only become aware of Craicnet tonight when went for a wander of the boards lol, seems like an Irish one?)
Why not that but for people who are black and their culture too
Nobody's stopping people posting in the "main" boards!

Quaagars · 13/09/2020 00:42

I've also been thinking about how this board could possible translate to "real life", are there groups on mumsnet whereby people meet up in person? I have no idea.

I don't think there is on the main chat/talk boards themselves (could be wrong so don't quote me on that) I think there is on the MN home pages though via local meet ups, could maybe try and organise something via there

anewdispensation · 13/09/2020 00:45

I know there used to be a locals section and people used to meet up but I think that no longer operates. I recall London MNetters used to organise meet ups as well but haven’t seen one in a long time @PatricksRum

PatricksRum · 13/09/2020 00:46

Thanks @Quaagars & @anewdispensation

Would be great if, in the future, pandemic over, we could organise a black net meet up.

We could invite Wixx to learn Hmm

OP posts:
AnneOfTeenFables · 13/09/2020 00:47

I've read all these threads including the deleted ones. A poster did ask for white posters to be banned for asking questions and there have been lots of references to asking ethnicity or assuming it or policing responses based upon on it. New posters may not realise that those expectations may be unrealistic or need to be managed sensitively.

PatricksRum · 13/09/2020 00:48

@AnneOfTeenFables

I've read all these threads including the deleted ones. A poster did ask for white posters to be banned for asking questions and there have been lots of references to asking ethnicity or assuming it or policing responses based upon on it. New posters may not realise that those expectations may be unrealistic or need to be managed sensitively.
Yeah. Do you know who asked for white posters to be banned? A WHITE POSTER.

End of discussion.

OP posts:
AnneOfTeenFables · 13/09/2020 00:55

That rather proves my point about assuming ethnicity or policing it. I didn't reference the ethnicity of the poster who demanded it - you did.
But your 'end of discussion' is very clear. I hope you get everything you want out of this. I think the section will be helpful for lots of posters.

anewdispensation · 13/09/2020 00:56

@PatricksRum

Thanks *@Quaagars & @anewdispensation*

Would be great if, in the future, pandemic over, we could organise a black net meet up.

We could invite Wixx to learn Hmm

I would absolutely love to. Organising events is right up my street so I can help out there. Exciting times ahead!
DressingGownofDoom · 13/09/2020 00:56

Blacknet is a great idea, actually I can't believe it doesn't exist already. I don't think it would attract racism? And if it did, who better to tackle it than MNers?

PersephonePromotesEquanimity · 13/09/2020 00:57

Please, please, please could people stop with the their culture thing?

It is ... appalling.

PatricksRum · 13/09/2020 01:00

You're in charge of that!  @anewdispensation

OP posts:
PatricksRum · 13/09/2020 01:01

@DressingGownofDoom

Blacknet is a great idea, actually I can't believe it doesn't exist already. I don't think it would attract racism? And if it did, who better to tackle it than MNers?
I really want to find out the names we have for suggestions

Black Net
Black Mums Matter
Black Perspectives

OP posts:
DressingGownofDoom · 13/09/2020 01:02

@ThorFull

This thread is making me really angry! How can so many people be so obtuse, and unaware that black people often have very different experiences to white people. I like the idea of a black section, with subsections eg style and beauty, travel, health. I appreciate that there is probably a desire from many for black experiences to be acknowledged. I’m mixed (not black), married to a black man. My children look like me (brown). I support the OP’s idea, but again feel a bit sad that my mixed heritage, and that of my children, makes me feel like an outsider that doesn’t fit in anywhere.
The only problem with subsections is they might not get much activity when they start up and then just die, whereas if you start with one and it's good and busy you can then start to split it up.
needaMNnamegenerator · 13/09/2020 01:03

@wixx

I don't get it. Would it not be racist if people were told to go to the black section, not the main area. And if there was a white Section that would even worse. I thought life was about including everyone equally now, not ship off to your own secret area
OMFG. OP and co, I'm so sorry you're still experiencing this nonsense.

wixx, where were you when craicnet or scotsnet were suggested? Or any of the new areas, come to think of it. Were you barging into the middle of their threads telling them it was a bad idea or that you just couldn't understand why they wanted it?

No, you weren't. How do I know that? Because those groups didn't get this kind of hostility, they weren't deluged by people demanding they justify themselves. They were able to have a sensible discussion without a whole load of hostile people telling them it's a bad idea.

That alone is a compelling enough reason it would be a good idea. Because you (and so many others) just don't understand: it's not aimed at you, yet you feel you are entitled to stomp about this thread telling everything it's a bad idea - founded on what exactly? Total ignorance, by your own admission.

If you don't get it, so what? What do you think it adds by telling people that? No one is asking your permission! These people are organising something FOR THEM and you're gatecrashing their meeting to disrupt it. Why on earth would you do that? It's a really bad look.
(Please don't answer that, it's rhetorical).

DressingGownofDoom · 13/09/2020 01:05

I think blacknet is just appealing to me because we already have craicnet (subsection for Irish people) and they sound good together Blush

AMemeByAnyOtherName · 13/09/2020 01:05

@AnneOfTeenFables a white poster jokingly suggested that white racist posters be banned for making disingenuous 'sincere' comments. You saw that, right? You didn't just see the words 'white' and 'banned' and use it as a formula to fit some kind of agenda? Of course not. That's silly.

@wixx I've seen threads where people ask in AIBU for relationship advice (for example) and kind posters say 'you should come along to the relationships board/ ask for this to be moved to relationships where we can help you better'. That's not divisive, that's constructive.

Whereas in fact, if you read this thread, you'll see examples of black posters in the past asking for advice and being told to go to google instead of expecting any decent advice on Mumsnet. That's the current state of things. This new board will make that kind of problem a thing of the past.

Or even better - if you'd bothered to read the full thread, you'd have seen that your questions had already been answered and you wouldn't continue to derail the thread with your irrelevant comments.

dokl · 13/09/2020 01:06

Black cooking?
Not sure what that is really but don't keep it in a subsection. If it's better than white cooking you need to tell everyone. White food is crap

Quaagars · 13/09/2020 01:08

Please, please, please could people stop with the their culture thing?

Is that to me?
Sorry if so
Just meant it me being somebody who isn't black, has no experience of being black, my extremely white middle England culture and upbringing has no reference to black culture/people in any way, which is why I learn and read constantly
People seemed to think it shouldn't be on the boards or at least everybody should default think white Western standards - and that shouldn't be the norm, we should all have equal voices (that Afro thread linked upthread, OMG) a black board sounds like a brilliant idea

Bl3ss3dm0m · 13/09/2020 01:10

Some of you seem to be deliberately trying to turn things I have said into bigoted, racist, idiotic questions and statements, and if that makes you feel better about yourselves, then go ahead, knock yourselves out.
I asked a genuine question because I am not racist, although I am an "ist" which I have not tried to hide on other posts. I am a culturist, although not a blind believer that everyone who comes from that culture must all be bad, but I am enough of one to wish that I didn't feel the need to be one. However, any individual I meet, whatever their culture, is always met as an equal, what happens after that of course will be the same as everyone else who is not a saint; I will form opinions of them, and they will inform opinions of me, as many of you have done with me, on scant real evidence of my RL - it is just what we humans do. Back to the subject here. As I am not a racist, skin colour, country of origin, religion, gender, sexual preferences (apart from paedophiles) are unimportant to me, but I genuinely didn't want, in my ignorance (and yes of course I am ignorant about many things) to inadvertently hurt anyones feelings. This seems to make me a bad person on MN, but hey ho, I have broad shoulders, and a thick skin, so I won't collapse from the injustice of it all. Of course I already know not to use words like the "n" word, but then I never would, I don't believe in hurling disgusting abuse at people. However, I am beginning to realise that being reasonable and not wanting to be rude to other people is frowned on by way too many people on Mum's Net, so whilst on here I will try to learn who those people are, and just ignore them.
I did not join this particular "discussion" because I wanted anyone to teach me how to not be racist, as I said previously I am comfortable in the fact that I am not racist; I said what I said because I was genuinely worried that a section just for black people would be divisive, and what PatricksRum was saying at the beginning of this post, and on a previous one, sounded like no white, or other than black Bame community members would be welcomed, or even allowed. That did sound very divisive, and I was by no means the only other person here to think so. However the OP, and others have implied that that view is ridiculous, that we are all welcome, but we just mustn't speak, because if we are not black we have nothing of any interest to say, help, or add to Black MNetters, so that is fine, I am glad that you will have the section you want, and that it won't hinder in any way, any of us at MN, or indeed any and all human beings, from realising that when we are born we are all equal, and we should strive to stay so.

EchoCardioGran · 13/09/2020 01:11

Blimey, it's like Groundhog day on here. Round and round and round.
Stick with discussing your planning ideas Patrick and friends, ignore the derailers. Most are just trying to wear you down.
All the best to you, don't give up your seat on the bus!
Keep organising! x

PersephonePromotesEquanimity · 13/09/2020 01:11

Wouldn't it be radical if the new board had a name that did not include the word "black"? ...

One can get rather sick of a label ...

(But that's possibly just me.)