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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Dear black people of mumsnet

999 replies

PatricksRum · 10/09/2020 17:24

Ideas for a black section on mumsnet.

Should we have separate sections i.e black hair and beauty, black parenting, black cooking or a general black section?

Link to previous

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4018383-black-section-on-mn

OP posts:
BadBanana · 10/09/2020 19:47

Also as an aside.

The vast majority of support you have received seems to be from posters saying ‘I’m white, but...’

If this was on a blacks only section, where these people may not want to post in case they are seen as intruding, there would be hardly any replies.

Mumsnet has always been, on the whole, a decent community. I see no reason to build up extra walls between us and them.

Schoolsout2 · 10/09/2020 19:48

To be honest. It’s MN I’m personally not offended. By the term black.... obviously everyone has their own preferences I was think multicultural too but like your saying the range is vast.

Maybe Caribbean’s & Africans because there the main phrases what people tend to narrow it down to.

bettsbattenburg · 10/09/2020 19:48

@sunshinesupermum

Sorry if you think I'm being defensive but I'm playing devil's advocate here. so rather than listening to her experience? OP hasn't given any specific instances of her black experience not being covered by MN.

Has she tried posting within the numerous topics available? perhaps heading her enquiry in Property/DIY 'where do you recommend places that are inclusive of black/BAME people' or in Education 'should I send my black child to a school that is almost exclusively white?'

I didn't say who could and couldn't post. I addressed my post to black people and not white people.

How are you going to know?

StillGardening · 10/09/2020 19:48

I think I could benefit from understanding more about how it feels to be a black woman in this country. I’d be interested to read such threads (without commenting myself). Seems a good idea.

But you’ll never know for sure the identity of posters , so I can see trolls having a field day and it being used to create division. Would need careful moderation. Not sure Mumsnet has tech capability for that. Bit like those two white women who passed themselves off as black for years ....

Quaagars · 10/09/2020 19:49

Fixating on the phrase used instead, (in this case white fragility) and not what was actually said?
Quelle surprise.
Triggered maybe a better one?

EarringsandLipstick · 10/09/2020 19:49

And once more for the record @PatricksRum I've said that I don't have a particular view on creating the section you propose, and think if posters want it & MNHQ agree, go for it.

My criticism is of your views towards so many posters, and how you express them.

EarringsandLipstick · 10/09/2020 19:49

[quote MargeryBenson]@EarringsandLipstick I agree with you [/quote]
Thanks Margery

Enough4me · 10/09/2020 19:50

I'm white, but would be interested in learning more as I support people from different ethnicities and nationalities at work.

I think it's a great idea. People should not go on to post goady comments, but to learn more about what it is like to be black.

I honestly never heard the term white privilege until recently despite my work experience. I can already see how society is geared towards white people: TV, films, books, advertising, education, toys...a few shops have cottoned on but then have lots of black models for one part then revert to all white again. It's all a token gesture.

If this is set up MN need to be clear that black people can express what it is like to be black without being jumped on.

BadBanana · 10/09/2020 19:51

Black parenting has to be different. I saw a video (fiction but based on fact) about the talk black parents have with their children when they go out. It's completely different from the talk that white parents have.

Sorry, but why? That’s lumping is all in together a bit isn’t it?

Maybe that applies to black inner city mums in America, which is very sad and they as a country need to sort that shit out.

But in leafy Surrey? My son hasn’t been given any different ‘talks’ to his white friends.

Polkasquare · 10/09/2020 19:54

@Straven123

Scotsnet wasn't seen as a divisive thread - just different issues and stopped it getting lost in the melee
I guess the difference might be that people who aren 't Scottish aren't told to be quiet on Scotsnet? And you generally can't easily tell if someone's Scottish by the colour of their skin (I know there are Scottish people that aren't white)
tillytoodles1 · 10/09/2020 19:54

My SIL worked for Social Services and they had a black women's group that met once a month for a meeting, which was basically a piss up and free food. My SIL's friend was a member and told her what a good skive it was. When SIL asked why they did t have a white women's group, she was told it was because she'd never been oppressed. Surely of you have a question about something that affects black people only, then you just ask on the normal threads and get answers there. The thought of segregating threads make me feel very uncomfortable

LastResorts · 10/09/2020 19:55

What about a BAME section Op?

I personally do think black or BAME section

PatricksRum · 10/09/2020 19:56

@LastResorts

What about a BAME section Op?

I personally do think black or BAME section

Nope.

A black section is what I'm advocating for, for reasons I've stated across the threads.

OP posts:
EasynowPatrick · 10/09/2020 19:56

I don’t think the moderator needs to be black, I think there are people who get the issues from an outside perspective that could do the job fairly. There are some on this thread and others that quite clearly understand what the space needs to feel like

SimonJT · 10/09/2020 19:56

@BadBanana

Black parenting has to be different. I saw a video (fiction but based on fact) about the talk black parents have with their children when they go out. It's completely different from the talk that white parents have.

Sorry, but why? That’s lumping is all in together a bit isn’t it?

Maybe that applies to black inner city mums in America, which is very sad and they as a country need to sort that shit out.

But in leafy Surrey? My son hasn’t been given any different ‘talks’ to his white friends.

My son is Asian, so not black, but still different. As a five year old I cannot put police officers in the box of safe people to approach in an emergency etc due to the police in the UK still being racist.

As a five year old he has seen me being stopped and searched, he has also seen that the white people we are with are not searched.

As a five year old he already has negative feelings about the colour of his skin due to the way some children have treated him at school.

To not deal with those issues would mean I has failed as a parent. Skin colour does matter, and sometimes it means people do need to be treated differently. That will not change while we still have people who hold racist views.

It isn’t a vastly different idea as to why girls have to be parented differently to keep them safe, don’t go out alone when dark, cross the road for groups of men etc.

Venicelover · 10/09/2020 19:56

Is there not already a BAME section?

AuntyPasta · 10/09/2020 19:57

I really don’t understand why there are white posters moaning about a black section on MN. Exactly how would it impact you or your use of MN?

LastResorts · 10/09/2020 19:57

@PatricksRum well good luck to you. I can’t see a reason why it shouldn’t be granted

EarringsandLipstick · 10/09/2020 19:57

God @tillytoodles1 I can't believe your SIL asked this?!?

When SIL asked why they did t have a white women's group,

Surely someone can see the need for a group for black women?

TinySleepThief · 10/09/2020 19:59

@Venicelover

Is there not already a BAME section?
There's a multicultural families section but it's not used often so I doubt a forum for an even smaller demographic would be busy.
Polkasquare · 10/09/2020 19:59

@rosiefl

Don't understand why people are complaining about this. A safe space for black people to discuss without the need for Karen's jumping in or judgment or even asking 100s of questions. The majority of people in the UK are white, why do many of us white people feel that we need to be involved in everyone's business.
Please don't misuse the name Karen like that.
SciFiScream · 10/09/2020 20:00

@BadBanana

Black parenting has to be different. I saw a video (fiction but based on fact) about the talk black parents have with their children when they go out. It's completely different from the talk that white parents have.

Sorry, but why? That’s lumping is all in together a bit isn’t it?

Maybe that applies to black inner city mums in America, which is very sad and they as a country need to sort that shit out.

But in leafy Surrey? My son hasn’t been given any different ‘talks’ to his white friends.

I'm glad your son in leafy Surrey is safe. That's not the case for all of UK. I think there are probably stats about black young men being victims of crime but also profiling by Police.

Which is why there is a different focus on black parenting and the need for "the talk"

My relative is profiled often in "safe" Scotland and was far more harshly punished for a crime that a white man got let off for. Exact same crime BTW.

EDSGFC · 10/09/2020 20:00

@AuntyPasta

I really don’t understand why there are white posters moaning about a black section on MN. Exactly how would it impact you or your use of MN?
At least some of the posters disagreeing are black though. Surely they're entitled to comment and say why they don't want it?
Byallmeans · 10/09/2020 20:04

Patrick keep posting as you expose the deep rooted racism people just don’t believe they have.

Yes to a black space

And yes to a black moderator.

Because what would be the fucking point otherwise?

Also didn’t you know being a black angry woman is so unwhite... Grin

I’d be really interested in knowing how many black and Asian moderate MN tbh.

BraveGoldie · 10/09/2020 20:05

Patrik you are doing awesome. Hope the Jollof went down well. Smile

I would love a section on supporting black businesses. That is somewhere I would go for recommendations.