Dear black people of mumsnet

[PatricksRum]

Ideas for a black section on mumsnet.

Should we have separate sections i.e black hair and beauty, black parenting, black cooking or a general black section?

Link to previous

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4018383-black-section-on-mn

OP

Higher education section might be helpful my DH works at a very big well known company and they have programmes to increase black representation, he gives talks and goes into schools and colleges with high BAME (best for word in this context) proportions about what these type of companies look for and how to get on graduate schemes.

There are lots of resources and organisations available that people might not know about. I would be happy to share in these sections if it would be helpful.

@Quaagars

Fixating on the phrase used instead, (in this case white fragility) and not what was actually said? Quelle surprise. Triggered maybe a better one?

No. Sorry to disappoint. I just won't accept being called racist and having my every utterance or disagreement labelled as such by randoms on social media. I wouldn't accept any other false accusations or labelling of my behaviour and motives so why would I accept this? I'm afraid you'll have to go a lot further if you want to frighten me into submitting to that label.

I would love to see a section on education. Making school choices etc at the moment and it would be helpful to have different perspectives as there are so many extra things we have to think about outside of the mainstream considerations when choosing a school

I am talking about the white posters.

And looking back I think I actually did address what was said. "White Fragility" is a meaningless, increasingly discredited, bullshit term coined by a racist white woman. What else is there to say to that?

@rosiefl

Don't understand why people are complaining about this. A safe space for black people to discuss without the need for Karen's jumping in or judgment or even asking 100s of questions. The majority of people in the UK are white, why do many of us white people feel that we need to be involved in everyone's business.

I find the "Karen" thing very offensive but because I'm white I have to stay silent and just suck it up no?

EarringsandLipstick it was nothing to do with black women not having rights, it was because they basically treated it as a paid half day and not a meeting for black women to meet and discuss their problems. Liverpool SS is very diverse as Black, Asian, Chinese etc, basically anyone is employed there on an equal footing.

[quote ColleagueFromMars]@PatricksRum good luck, I support you 100%. I wonder if it might be a good idea to start off as one section for all things black related, and once it's a bit established you will (collectively) have an idea if you think sub sections would be helpful or not. If it's quieter while it builds up, it might be better to have all topics in one. Just my 2p worth.

@leostar that's possibly the most clear example of institutional racism I've seen on mumsnet. Congratulations

"We all bleed red" ... yes. However we don't all have white skin, white hair type, we aren't all free from worry about if our child misbehaves will they get treated the same as their peers at school and by the police, we don't all have the same equality of opportunity in our careers and in society, we're not all just as likely to be believed innocent until proven guilty, and a whole host of other things.

There ARE differences between white experiences and black experiences in life. The very fact that a great many posters on here are denying somebody else's experiences is part of the problem.

A space for black topics takes absolutely NOTHING away from white people. It is being requested by black people, so it's absolutely not being forced on A.N.Y.B.O.D.Y. If you don't like it, you don't have to visit it. But keep your flipping complaints out of it because it's not about us white people.[/quote]
"We all bleed red" ... yes. However we don't all have white skin, white hair type, we aren't all free from worry about if our child misbehaves will they get treated the same as their peers at school and by the police, we don't all have the same equality of opportunity in our careers and in society, we're not all just as likely to be believed innocent until proven guilty, and a whole host of other things.

Things like this confuse me. Is there only one type of white skin, one type of white hair? We aren't all free from worry that our child will be treated the same if they misbehave, living on a council estate as I do this is a worry of mine, stereotyping the council estate kids is very real. We don't have all have equality of opportunity in our careers etc, statistically, my poor kids will have worse outcomes than the middle class kids down the road.

There is no 'white experience', there are so many white people that I cannot relate to, that do not share my experiences of growing up poor and abused, of having to fight tooth and nail for everything.

If you mean white people won't have racism as a thing to contend with just say that otherwise, your post reads as waffly bollocks.

Are you just racist, a bit thick or both?

I'm confused by all of these different threads by op, basically asking the same question.

Usually, if MN are planning on changing anything it's them that posts isn't it? Certainly it's what they did when they wanted to amalgamate different boards.

Op suggested this yesterday and MN replied and said they'd consider it. Why are there now threads from the op to work out the whys and wherefores? That's up to MN isn't it?

Wow at this thread.

I genuinely cannot see what the issue is at all.

There are loads of boards already catering to various groups.

I can understand why op wants this and after the eye watering racism I've seen on MN especially in the last year or so I don't blame her.

As an aside. There didn't used to be a feminism board. Women would start threads about issues in various boards and it would very often be the same. Attempt to talk about an issue from a feminist pov and rather than discuss the issue have to defend the existence of feminism at all.

Eg
Women aren't disadvantaged in the UK
Women do it too
It's a people problem not a men problem
You seem angry and bitter
Why do you hate men

Etc etc etc

At the time there was a lot of debate about whether having a separate board would be beneficial in cutting all that shit out and actually being able to talk
Or detrimental as the things that affect women and girls affect all and pushing it off into a separate topic was not the right thing to do

I see a lot of all that being rehashed here.

The other point is, why do some people obviously feel uncomfortable with different groups or subsets of people talking with people with similar experiences or background. Why on earth not? If I want to talk about disability it's easier to discuss with people with similar issues. Loads of threads are 'if you are xxx can you help'.

In short OP ask MNHQ and see what they say. I can't for the life of me see an issue. Be warned though, the boards will probably attract racist trolls (as the feminism ones attract angry men).

At least some of the posters disagreeing are black though. Surely they're entitled to comment and say why they don't want it?

Course they can say if they don;t want it, they're not a hive mind and some won't want it whereas others will?
Bit different to white people chipping in why they don't want one!

The purpose of this particular thread was to tease out exactly what the request to MNHQ should be...they have approved in principle I believe but needed more clarification on what exactly would be needed / appropriate

[quote MargeryBenson]@EDSGFC no. The op is a black woman and therefore will get to decide on this, not MNHQ. They can't turn down the (repeated) requests from her even if they wanted to. They'd be labelled racists.

Just wait until the op starts demanding how they staff the place

Not allowed to express this are we? Because we are called racist. [/quote]
^
This

@Quaagars

At least some of the posters disagreeing are black though. Surely they're entitled to comment and say why they don't want it?

Course they can say if they don;t want it, they're not a hive mind and some won't want it whereas others will?
Bit different to white people chipping in why they don't want one!

Some of them are being deleted though, so they aren't being allowed to speak. Others are being told off by posters saying "I'm white but I think it's ok" so how's that right?

White posters telling black posters that they're wrong?

But you dont see a white section of mumsnet, you don't see an Asian section on mumsnet, you don't see a mixed race section on mumsnet, you don't see a Latin and Hispanic section on mumsnet, so I don't understand why there needs to be a black section for mumsnet users? Lots and lots of black women post on the relevant sections.. This doesn't need to be about race.. You want to a specific section for black women/people to post on, but then doesn't it need to be the same for everyone by equality terms? Isn't that what the entire movement is about.. Equality. Not sure why you would post this OP.

@doadeer

OP

Higher education section might be helpful my DH works at a very big well known company and they have programmes to increase black representation, he gives talks and goes into schools and colleges with high BAME (best for word in this context) proportions about what these type of companies look for and how to get on graduate schemes.

There are lots of resources and organisations available that people might not know about. I would be happy to share in these sections if it would be helpful.

This sound so good. Perhaps people should just start their thread (some people seem to have got distracted).

Absolutely welcome this. I’d particularly like to see fashion, career and parenting covered. For too long we have been ignored. Now is our time.

I suggested on the other thread but I’ll just put it forward here: black food/cooking. A place to ask others where they source certain things from in the UK (I referenced breadfruit ), put up recipes from ‘back home’ and a fun place to discuss the different names we call the same things depending on our background, like guinep vs. skinup.

I’m feeling nauseous seeing the replies on this thread. I wish there was a way for MNHQ to pin relevant discussion to the top of the thread and let the rest settle at the bottom.

I’d like to know why people think I shouldn’t Have a place to discuss my hair, the way I was brought up/ plan to raise my DC, or anything from my culture. Asking to have a dedicated space for those things doesn’t detract from anybody else’s experience on this site. Nobody’s asking for a black AIBU

For the umpteenth time:

The OP asking for a safe space for black people makes fuck all difference to anyone else who isn’t white.

You are perfectly entitled to make a case for a space for any other group you feel passionate about.

There are already plenty of special spaces for certain groups -Scotsnet, Dadsnet, Gransnet, Special Needs, Feminism to name but a few. This concept is not new

The OP does not have to justify herself to you no matter how many times you demand it and it’s not her problem if you’re offended by her posts. Neither does she have to moderate her language just to make you feel comfortable. I’m actually amazed at how she’s managed to keep her cool, I don’t think I have it in me.

This isn’t about you - your attempt to make it about you as a non black person demonstrates precisely why a space for people with actual lived experience of being black in the UK is needed by our black mumsnetters.

You might not agree with her posts or her ask but in truth no one cares what you think and you’re not special. Only Mumsnet can act on it. So either shut up, listen and you might learn something or jog on!