Suicide threat, distressed poster

[picklemepopcorn]

In chat, just posted.

[Nancy91]

I have sadly never spoken to one that helped, and if you look online many people have had bad experiences. None of that is aimed at you fleur by the way, as you say it is down to the individual that you speak to. I just wanted to open people's eyes to the truth that pointing people to the Samaritans is not the magic pill to save them from suicide or crisis. I wish it was.

[fleurjasmine]

I absolutely agree. I have unfortunately had firsthand experiences of some very poor Samaritans myself. And even when they are kind and helpful, ultimately they aren't a magic bullet.

[RedDogsBeg]

Nancy91 The poster above LoverofCake said: Even the MH charities do not allow suicide posts to stand on their boards which is totally different to sending an e-mail to the Samaritans as that will not be shared for the general public to read, see or comment on.

[Nancy91]

Red I was talking about lipstick's post not the poster you are talking about

[RedDogsBeg]

Nancy91 please accept my apologies.

[Nancy91]

Not your fault I was too lazy to specify

[ReturnOfTheMackYesItIs]

I think they should be deleted and thought that when the policy was originally discussed.

The Reddit sub makes the policy even more valid imo.

[Barbiesears]

Emailing Samaritans is worse than calling them in my experience. The reply (24 hours later) just comes across as a regurgitation of what you've told them rather than giving a feeling of support. Like a paint by numbers copy and paste of my email with "I can see that" "I understand that" etc. It made me feel worse.

I do think it's good that threads on here are deleted though. Not every one gets responses and that can make the poster feel worse. Much better to blanket delete and let people know it was them personally not being given support but everyone is treated the same. Also protects them from nasty posters or trolls that could tip them over the edge.

[Nibledbyducks]

Is it a possibility given the size and scope of mumsnet for the Samaritans or mind to have an account to communicate with suicidal poster's? Perhaps we could raise funds to aid in financial support? Or a team of mumsnetters could be given Samaritans training and operate in a similar way to nightwatch. The thread could be closed and referred to pm the relevant volunteer?

[ButteredScone]

This isn't an acute mental health support site, though. And really, it shouldn't become one.

Mumsnet will have discussed this with charities and lawyers and established that they don't want to take on that role. Fair enough. Mumsnet can't be everything to everyone.

[BIWI]

No, absolutely not, @Nibledbyducks !

This is a parenting forum. It's not a place to support people with serious mental health concerns or suicidal thoughts or plans.

None of us here has the right qualifications, and it's a horrible responsibility to place on MNHQ's shoulders.

They do what they can do, and they make sure that such posters have links to important sources of help, and/or telephone numbers.

We cannot, cannot and should not expect to be able to provide the appropriate kind of help to people who are suicidal.

[FruitCider]

You shouldn't have deleted Claire's thread. She was talking to us and was taking on board what we were saying. She realised it was the medication making her feel this way, yet you still deleted it? Absolutely the wrong choice.

How do you know Claire was Claire?

How do you know she was taking on board what you were saying?

How do you know she truly realise the medication was making her feel that way?

[madwoman1ntheatt1c]

I have a few online forums that I refer to (and that I have referred people to) in instances of mental health crisis. I have a friend who has been suicidal on and off for a long time. There are lots of online resources that people in crisis can find. mn is not one of them. They are much better off using specialist mental health support. I've accessed both telephone and online support manned by mental health professionals without a delay. I haven't ever used the samaritans, but I have a friend who volunteered there and I would prefer to be in contact with a mental health professional if I need urgent advice (I have never been suicidal - I am usually in contact because I am dealing with someone who I fear for).
Having had to do the dramatic 'oh fuck they've stopped responding, have they gone and done it, or have they just fallen asleep' dash across town a number of times (and had to deal with overdoses etc), I think mnhq have a larger duty of care towards their site users in not allowing these threads to stand. it's not a sideshow, and it can go horribly wrong for both parties. we all like to think we are doing a good job and wouldn't cause additional harm, but the line is too easy to cross.